faderift | [Semi-closed] A tisket, a tasket

The split-second hesitation is very Julius, for all he wouldn't thank Anders for saying so; an unkind observer might suggest Julius has never answered a question without pausing in his life, a kinder one that his temperament is deliberate.

Either way, it's less than a full second before he says "Of course." He gestures, and resumes his own seat. "I'm going to be honest, I'm not sure I knew you'd left the Wardens as such. Or that anyone did. Then again, it's not like people were eager to pass us detailed news back when I was still at the tower."

Say, whatever became of that guy who kept escaping until it took? absolutely no one was asking in Templar earshot.

"Anyway, the Wardens probably never had someone ask to come back before, maybe you took them off guard?"

Edited 2017-09-07 23:16 (UTC)

While his chuckle is a little weak, it's at least there. Anders spends so much time on the defensive it takes him off guard when he doesn't have to be. He takes a seat and then has to smile wryly at understandable gap in Julius' awareness of Anders' life.

"Did you notice Rylock and Rolan leaving with a bunch of their friends, the Templars I'd really angered? They came after me, even though I'd been conscripted as a Warden. A few of them even went so far as to join the Wardens, and then after I'd helped the Hero of Fereldan," yes, there might be a little bit of old, smug, gossipy pride there, "and he'd gone off to adventure on his own, they saw their chance."

The smugness is gone just as quickly as it showed up. "They ambushed me and I couldn't see the Wardens being happy with someone who had just killed several other Wardens, no matter it being in self-defense. So I took off to find Karl." Which had gone even worse. He hadn't exactly been lucky with, well, anything.

"That's a long story short, because I'm assuming you don't want all of the details." He picks up his fork and looks over at Julius before a tiny bit of amusement comes back to his face. "After all, there's not much in there that's about being surrounded by boring walls."

"Yes," Julius says, dry, "I was always well known for my fondness for walls."

He knows Anders hated it, and he certainly never pretended it was without flaw, but the tower had been home for Julius. He still feels a bit adrift, so long away from it, and it aches to know he might never go back. (And, even if he did, so many people he knew wouldn't be there.)

Still, he doesn't linger over the moment. "I might want the details some day, at that, but probably not in the middle of the mess hall. I'm sorry, though. When I heard you'd joined the Wardens, I thought you might have finally found a way out for good." It hadn't been simple, but in hindsight it almost seemed that way. Before the world had fallen apart.

"I thought I had too." It's a rare moment of pure honesty, with no joking overtones and no tucking away significant details. Joining the Wardens should have done that, exchanged what felt like a cage to Anders for relative freedom and a cause he'd believed in, but the Templars had taken it away like they took away everything else from him.

"But now I'm a Warden again and it seems like this time they may keep me." The faint smile's back, as is the teasing cover. "Perhaps if I'd seduced the leadership the first time around things would have gone differently, but I don't think I'd care to be a romantic rival to Anora. She can afford to hire assassins, more than likely."

He takes a sip of his water. "What's brought you here?" There's an easy enough guess - Julius wanted security and a clear place again - but it's been years and Anders knows he's changed in many ways. Julius could have too.

He really wants to ask about seducing the current leadership of the Wardens, but saves that, also, for another time.

Instead, he answers the question. "I got word about the Breach, two years ago in Haven. A lot of good people dead. And some assholes, undoubtedly, but." Julius sighs, putting down his utensils, unable to be glib about this. "I know you're unlikely to agree with the reasons I ran, given everything. When I finally did. But when I heard about how many we'd lost and what was at stake..."

He picked up his knife again, stabbing a potato a bit harder than strictly necessary. "Whatever my opinions of the Mage-Templar War, how it began, how it ended. None of us will be left to rebuild if reality tears apart. I want to do what I can."

He'd sold Julius short. Guilt is a very familiar feeling, but he hadn't expected to feel quite so much of it in this conversation. Over the years he's grown too cynical, too judgmental, too absolute. Anders starts cutting his food with his fork as he listens, giving himself time to actually hear instead of coming to conclusions.

"I respect why you're here," he says finally. Julius may well be right that Anders wouldn't agree with whatever made him run, but his reason for being here is on that Anders genuinely appreciates. "I can't even start to grasp what motivates him. Destroy the world and you've nothing left to rule. Kill everyone who isn't Darkspawn and you'll be alone. If it's some sort of vengeance for being thrust from the Black City, it's not hurting the Maker. It's hurting mortals. People."

"I've been assigned to the research division, so I suppose part of my job will be trying to figure that out. I'm playing a lot of catch-up, for now." It's a serious subject and it deserve serious attention. But it's also very heavy for a first reunion, as many years as its been. Julius can't resist adding, in a lighter tone: "I suspect I'll be better at catching up on that than I was at figuring out how to live on the road. You'd have found it satisfying, possibly, seeing me make a fool of myself trying to order an ale without drawing too much attention."

It was less funny as it was happening, but Julius has always been good at charm - turning memories into nicely packaged anecdotes is second nature.

Edited 2017-09-14 20:37 (UTC)

He has to smile at that, looking up from his food.

"I wish I'd been there to see that. I know how much of a fool I made, trying to pretend I wasn't scared out of my wits and that I belonged there. And then when the server came over to ask if I was all right since I apparently didn't look it, I nearly spilled my drink on myself."

The relief from Julius not rejecting him is beginning to transform into one of the most dangerous emotions there is: hope. Julius isn't just being civil. He's being friendly and this is starting to feel like old times.

"I told you how many times I faceplanted into the mud on my first escape, didn't I?"

"You did. At the time, I assumed you were exaggerating for comic effect."

It's easier to think about the young men they'd been, once, than to dwell to much on what each of them has done in their time apart. Another time, perhaps. For now, he stays safely on the present subject.

"I must say, though, I have had a lifetime's share of tramping along roads with no particular destination. Traveling when you are getting between two points is all well and good, but I am utterly immune to the call of travel for its own sake."

"Anyone who claims to enjoy traveling to wander around is full of it," Anders opines as he tears a chunk of his bread off to dip in the meat juices. "It's about getting there, and enjoying what the destination has to offer."

Maybe it's different if you're not on the run or on a particular mission. He's never exactly traveled for leisure... but considering how much he likes having a bed, a fire, a hot meal, and a cat, he's fairly certain his opinion isn't about to change.

"You don't eat like this on the road. Ever. Not even when you're traveling with the vaunted Hero of Ferelden. And you're sleeping on the ground, as well. Baths and clean clothes are basically unheard of. I'm entirely ready to settle down somewhere." Just... not Kirkwall.

"Well, don't look at me to talk you out of it. I'm more comfortable stationary myself." Then again, left to his own preferences, Julius would still be exactly where Anders had left him. Probably in nicer quarters over time, but only a few steps away from where he'd started.

"Is there any place in particular you've been that you liked?" he asks, after a moment. For all it's a casual question, it comes in place of several less casual ones that had occurred to Julius first, which he'd discarded as either impolitic or badly timed.

Some of the lightness in Anders' face fades. There's an answer to that, and it's not one he wants to give because he wants to keep the conversation easy.

"Warm places." His smile mostly returns. "I've always liked things hot and dry. None of this snow and wet business. Or constant grey, rainy days, or marshes and muck. In short, I'm never going to love Fereldan or the Free Marches. Do you have somewhere in mind you'd like to settle?"

Julian could be looking for options. Nobody wants to stay in Kirkwall, not even Kirkwallers.

If their conversation feels worryingly like a dungeon full of traps, well, Julius supposes that speaks to what it's like to be a mage in Thedas, these days.

"Not really. I think there's too much up in the air, at the moment, to make that sort of plan. But I did make it to Antiva, and I can see the appeal of a warmer climate." He manages a wry smile. "Ferelden is never going to be wine-making country, for one thing."

It's a joke, but it's also a peace offering, of sorts. They both clearly have a lot they'd prefer not to discuss, and Julius isn't going to push to break that stalemate. As much as he doesn't really know what he and Anders are to one another these days, a friendly face is enough for now.

"Antiva would be lovely," he says with absolute honesty and just a little wistfulness.

Sure, there are a lot of assassins in that region, and a few might find jobs hunting for him, but there's also a lot of land where he could become a simple healer for a village and happily live like that.

"The wine isn't crucial, especially as my Fereldan likes stuff made from peat for some reason, but it would be another perk. And I'm certainly not eager to live in a country where dogs are glorified."

The smile he gives Julius is full again. Friendliness is a gift that he treasures, and he doesn't care that later, no doubt, they'll be disagreeing on plenty again. Julius sees him as a person and doesn't hate him. That's enough for now.

"Also I hear there are fewer giant spiders in Antiva."

"I really do feel like you should hold out for no giant spiders. While we're fantasizing," Julius says, with a crooked little grin.

"Maker, I feel like every odd job I took for years inevitably ended up with them, though. Or wolves. Or bears. There is a lot of truly malicious fauna in Thedas, isn't there?" Or maybe just involved in the kind of jobs Julius got hired for. Not everyone could specialize in healing, after all.

"If we're fantasizing, there's a great deal further that we can go beyond no giant spiders." Anders' voice is wry. "But that would be a nice start. I can't remember an errand that didn't deal in some sort of fauna that wanted to eat me, and at times the flora wasn't all that friendly either."

He takes a breath.

"Life's never exactly been easy, has it." It's... an opening, if Julius wants it.

Anders can practically see Julius' impulse toward a joke.

...but instead, he shrugs. "A lot of people in Thedas end up with a hard lot. It's not even terribly uncommon, from what I've observed." Which is, if not quite as much of an opening, at least not shutting down what was clearly an overture.

"It could be better." Very, very tentative. "We're out now. We don't have to just offer healing. We can offer so much more. Education. Practical magic. We can make a lot of lives easier, and perhaps set something up that can last. A school, with options. For everyone."

There's a lot of dancing around here. People have lost faith in him, for good reason, and he doesn't know where Julius stands on the scale. High enough to speak with him and eat with him, but that doesn't have to mean much more.

Julius' look is mild, but it's skeptical. It's not that he entirely disagrees, though he imagines there are details they would disagree on. It's just that, while longstanding friendship and many people they both care about dying earns Anders a conversation and even some warmth...

...well, the picture Anders offers is somewhat offset by who is offering it, all the same.

Still, despite the skepticism, Julius' tone remains conversational. "Has there been talk about where Inquisition leadership stands on postwar mage relations? Given that they're recruiting both us and templars, I imagine they're treading lightly in public, at least."

[Semi-closed] A tisket, a tasket

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