Loghain presses one tightly curled fist against his mouth, fighting down a rush of unnameable feeling that threatens to overwhelm him. Tevinter. Had he been that close? If he had persisted despite Anora's objections, despite pressure from the Bannorn--
He angles his head away, just long enough to master his emotions. Another pause, and it's done. "We heard only rumours--nothing we could substantiate at the time, but I still have my notes from the investigation." Of course he does. "The trail went cold in Antiva, but I'll give you everything I have."
Alistair looks at Loghain's fist, then away. It's always weird when people you wish would die are not only alive, but acting like they have feelings, which they obviously do not. Because that would be weirder. But Qarinus. It doesn't sound impossible. He returns his attention to Loghain once he's talking again and sounds less like he's experiencing human emotions (which is impossible), and nods curtly.
"Thank you," he says, because the dogs and the horses raised him right. "I might know someone in Qarinus. Someone who knows someone there, anyway. Give me what you have and I'll see what I can find."
And that's it. He should go, before Loghain has another visible feeling. But he doesn't just yet; he moves on foot back and shifts his weight to it, planning to begin backing away but caught there by—
"Did you know my mother?"
He doesn't want to talk about it. He just wants to know what he knows.
What work he still has in his possession is packed away securely with his belongings in the barracks. He'll need to head back to retrieve them, and is in the process of turning on his heel to do that (Sooty will forgive him for delaying his visit a bit longer), when that question reaches him.
"Did you know my mother?"
He stops short and turns to face Alistair again, but whatever expression the young man wears now, Loghain can't parse it, save to mark again with a hard ache in his chest just how much he has grown to resemble his father. He considers his response, then says, "Not well, but--yes. We met once."
Alistair looks at him with the same closed-off expression a few moments longer, then breaks to nod and shift his attention to the nearest horse. It's a dismissive turn, nearly imperious, the sort of thing that used to get him shoved into mud at the abbey. He doesn't have anything else to say. There are a few dozen other things he'd like to ask, details he'd like to be able to stuff into the holes of his own history, even though it changes nothing, even though it's like trying to replace missing bricks with handfuls of straw—dozens, but none he's willing to lower his guard any further to ask Loghain. He can go.
Whatever else he may feel compelled to ask, Loghain doubts he would be able to provide substantive answers to his questions. Maric shared much with him, but there was just as much about his king that will always remain just out of reach.
Loghain doesn't speak to him again, but steps past him to find his way further into the stables. It won't take him long to see to Sooty; then he will be gone.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Loghain presses one tightly curled fist against his mouth, fighting down a rush of unnameable feeling that threatens to overwhelm him. Tevinter. Had he been that close? If he had persisted despite Anora's objections, despite pressure from the Bannorn--
He angles his head away, just long enough to master his emotions. Another pause, and it's done. "We heard only rumours--nothing we could substantiate at the time, but I still have my notes from the investigation." Of course he does. "The trail went cold in Antiva, but I'll give you everything I have."
no subject
"Thank you," he says, because the dogs and the horses raised him right. "I might know someone in Qarinus. Someone who knows someone there, anyway. Give me what you have and I'll see what I can find."
And that's it. He should go, before Loghain has another visible feeling. But he doesn't just yet; he moves on foot back and shifts his weight to it, planning to begin backing away but caught there by—
"Did you know my mother?"
He doesn't want to talk about it. He just wants to know what he knows.
no subject
"Did you know my mother?"
He stops short and turns to face Alistair again, but whatever expression the young man wears now, Loghain can't parse it, save to mark again with a hard ache in his chest just how much he has grown to resemble his father. He considers his response, then says, "Not well, but--yes. We met once."
no subject
no subject
Loghain doesn't speak to him again, but steps past him to find his way further into the stables. It won't take him long to see to Sooty; then he will be gone.