faderift | Whispering wind is blowing [Open]

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Whispering wind is blowing [Open]

WHO: Nari and you! (And special for Cade and Simon)
WHAT: October catchall for Nari
WHEN: Early Harvestmere
WHERE: Various Kirkwall
NOTES: Anything that comes with Cade. Super-sina-sadness! Cami don't read this in Panera :P

[Chantry Forest - open; come in at any point]

It had taken Nahariel a good amount of time to go into the forest. She'd been before, of course, but not for this. This was different. Beginning this work meant acknowledging an ending.

Early light of morning finds her wandering, looking at the wood with the frank and evaluating eye of a carver. Just before midday, she's found what she wants. A branch - good, straight, sturdy, just fallen. Tall enough.

Midday finds her sitting on a large tree's roots, somewhere near the center, thumb rubbing the haft of Dahlasanor's arulin'holm. The Dalish ceremonial tool for the beginning and ending of a work had been well taken care of in her absence, but even so she oils, polishes, and sharpens it with slow deft strokes. She raises it, turns it to catch a beam of sun that had managed to pierce the canopy, and makes the first cut.

Her afternoon, and several afternoons after it, are spent carving with singular focus. Curling vines and herbs and flowers and grasses and trees grow slowly from the wood, twining around it. Thoughtful halla begin to graze and keep watch, curved around the sides. Constellations of Ghilan'nain's guiding stars rise over the fields.

The details are refined with patience that could only be born of love, the wood sanded and polished to a silken sheen. It's only after she raises and lowers the arulin'holm to make the final cut she'd been saving for it - the only rough place on the smooth surface - that she weeps. It's a deep sound, broken and raw, rising and falling like waves as she rocks side to side, her arms wrapped around Sina's funeral staff.

[Docks]

When she's not working, Nari is down in the harbor. Sometimes it's helping to load or unload cargo, sometimes learning to fish, sometimes carving small animals or puzzles for the local children out of scrap wood, sometimes telling them stories, and on the warm days, sunning with a farmer's flopping straw hat down over her face. No matter the activity, she's always glad to see you.

[Elsewhere!]

Catch her leaving or returning from the forest (Chantry or Planacene)! At the markets! Drinking in the Hanged Man! Something else!

[Chantry Forest - closed]

She'll meet the two of them at where the entrance to the Chantry would have been, a pack full of sketches and measuring tools and some simple lunch slung over her shoulder, a roll of carving tools fastened beneath it. Upon seeing them, Nari raises a hand in greeting. "Thank you again," she says. "Feel free to disagree, but I thought perhaps the right place for her would be about where she was before?"

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That sad and tired look has Korrin reaching out, resting her larger hand against the side of Nahariel's face. "She needs you, it's true...and you have us. If you need to have someone else be the stronger person for a while, you can always find us. Our place is always open to you."

Hell, they were hoping to share the space when first realizing they could live outside the designated areas. It didn't happen, but still. Korrin knows Araceli would never object to Nari stopping in if she needed them. "Araceli and I -and Lux, too- will come see her soon, though. How...how is she now?" It's been a bit over a month, and now she wonders just how much her frail friend could have declined in that time.

"I'll do that," Nari said, nodding against the Vashoth's hand. She scrubs the back of her hand across her eyes and blinks back the tears that were threatening a resurgence, then pulls back a bit, running it through her hair with a sigh. "Not good. It's slow but it only changes one way, like a river pulling at its banks. She's--" a short pause as Nari shuts her eyes and pulls in some air, a tremble in her breath when she lets it out. She opens them again to look into her friend's. "She's dying, Korrin," she says, and it's the first time she's said it out loud. It feels strange in her mouth, tastes like dust. Nahariel looks down at the staff in her hands and says it again quietly, as if just for herself.

"She's dying."

Korrins shoulders sag and she sighs; hearing that truth aloud hurts, but she doesn't have the energy to deny it anymore. "...I know. I think it was always going to come to that, given where the shard's located. It's so damned unfair, and there's nothing we can do to stop it." Her own eyes are suspiciously bright, never feeling more helpless as she does right now, and it's only going to get worse with time. "I'm so sorry, Nahariel. If I could do anything to change that...."

Nari nods more emphatically than perhaps necessary, wanting Korrin to know that she knows the mage's words are more than platitudes. "It's... it's not fair," she says, like a child might, "she was just looking for herbs. And I was gathering wood, and I wasn't too far away, I could see her through the trees, and there was a flash, and she just crumpled - like a puppet with cut strings." Nari squeezes her eyes shut again, her mouth twisting with grief. "I was right there," she says, getting more emphatic as she continues, "I was right there, and I couldn't--Fen’harel ver em, I wish it had been me!"

Life in Thedas is rarely fair, but Korrin is never more acutely aware of that fact than now. Sina deserved a long, happy life with her clan...and she just wasn't going to get one. If keeping Nari company weren't more important, she'd go scream until her throat was raw over that injustice. But that can wait; instead, she sighs heavily and gives Nahariel a squeeze. "I know. I bet she knows, too. But it all happened so fast, didn't it? It's not as though life prepared any of us for the Breach and rifts and anchors."

Of course it hadn't, but the gargantuan nature of the unexpected wasn't enough to assuage Nahariel's guilt. Even as she knows in her mind that Korrin was right, they couldn't have known, her heart aches with the failure. The 'what if's and 'if I had only just's crowd heavily in her chest and make it hard to breathe. Even so, she nods again, hoping that the little acknowledgement will someday grow big enough to blot out the rest.

"You're right, of course," she manages, leaning her head against the Vashoth's sturdiness.

Korrin squeezes her gently at that, then--

"...will you stay?" Afterward, she means, but can't bring herself to say aloud. The thought of losing both Sina and Nahariel would hurt badly, even as she can't bring herself to blame Nari should she want the comfort of clanmates. It's her right, and there's no judgement from this end.

Will you stay?

The question gave her pause, her forehead furrowing. Would she? On the one hand, Sina was the only reason she’d even come to the Inquisition. All the work she’d done had been to make herself useful so the leadership would look at the two Dalish favorably, be willing to use their resources to help. But she’d made friends along the way despite herself. She’d changed a great deal. Going back to the forest for good wasn’t as comforting a thought, now that the world had pried her open.

“I... think so. I’ll want to go back, at least for a while. I need to take her back - Dahlasanor will want to take care of our own. Especially our First. But...” Nari reaches a hand to scratch through her hair thoughtfully, looking conflicted. “I won’t disappear forever. I want to help fight the Breach, seal the rifts. I don’t want what happened to happen to anyone else.”

Edited 2017-10-09 20:45 (UTC)

The pause only makes Korrin wonder if she should have waited to ask, but when is there ever a right time to do so? Still, the comfort of her friends should come first, before her own needs. She relaxes a bit as Nari doesn't seem to take offense, and at that bit of news. It's not an iron-clad guarantee, of course, and Korrin would never expect Nahariel to make one over that matter. But it's reason for hope.

"Nor do I. It'll never be the same, I know, but...you won't be alone. I can promise you that much. We're lucky to have you, Nahariel."

Korrin's assertion produces a watery laugh, "The feeling is mutual," she says. While Nari appreciates the... well... appreciation, something feels funny about it that she can't quite put her finger on. Alone. "I think--" she says slowly, feeling out the thought as she goes along like walking a dark path barefoot, "--I haven't just been me for a long, long time. I can hardly remember who I was before Sina was born. After that, well, it's always been her. She was so small and I said in my heart, 'the things that are broken in this world won't touch you, I won't let them.'" she heaves a deep sigh and considers her hands where they're twisted still around the staff, "But they touched her anyway, and I don't know how to be without her."

"The world can be cruel, there's no denying that." She nods slowly, trying to swallow away the forming lump in her throat. It's going to be difficult on Nari, learning who she is without Sina, and nothing Korrin can say will make that less a challenge. Is it better or worse that Nari has time to prepare herself? She can't say, since to the Vashoth woman it just hurts all the same.

"You'll find a way, sooner or later. But you don't need to shoulder that burden before its foisted off on you. You still have time to be with her, make some more memories. Take the challenges as they come because, believe me, if you try all at once, that's too much for any one person to handle. I don't know what it's like to have the bond you do with her, but I know that much."

There's quiet for a moment, in the forest. There's still light, and the sounds of life make themselves known intermittently. It hadn't taken long for the birds to arrive, once there was forest. Insects buzz and sing, brought on someone's coat, or trouser, or pack. Some of the city rodents had chosen wild over street. The canopy rustles with wind, and somewhere there is a den of foxes that had survived too long scavenging what they could and bury into forest loam now rather than refuse.

Sina wouldn't be gone. Not all the way, at least.

"We might not have the same bond," Nari says finally, sitting a little straighter, eyes a little clearer as she turns to look at Korrin, "but I know you love her too. I--do you want to talk?"

Within the forest, Korrin can almost forget the noise and bustle of the surrounding city. It should be enough to lift anyone's spirits, but the subject matter still weighs heavily on her, as it will continue to do so. When she visits this spot, she'll always be reminded of Sina.

Taking in a deep breath, Korrin tries to gather her thoughts. "I...I've seen it before, you know. With Asher. A friend getting worse and worse, and not being able to stop it. I wasn't sure I could go through it again, but here we are. I'm not leaving, either."

"I think that was before I was... talking to people," Nari says, looking slightly embarrassed. "What was he like?"

"He was...." Korrin sighs, staring off. "...wild, but he was part-Avvar. You'd never know it, he took to that side so strongly. Ruthless to his enemies, but generous to his friends, and he hated the Chantry and Templars about as much as any rebel mage. We went on a lot of adventures together, me, him and Mal. The bitch of it is that he didn't go out in glorious battle, like he would have wanted. It was this slow, lingering thing that took all his strength out of him. Not right, for a warrior to go like that."

"If we could all die when and how we deserve..." Nahariel said, trailing off into a sigh - it seemed near every breath she took came out that way today. Carefully, she braced the staff against the ground and leaned it against the tree whose roots they sat on. With both hands free, she could pull both her knees to her chest and rest her chin in the dip between them.

"He sounds like a good man."

"He was, even if he lied to others and himself about it sometimes. And he carried a lot more hurt than he let on, too. I didn't know about a lot of that until later." Korrin sighs, knowing there's not much she could have done to directly help Asher...but still, she would have supported him, if only he'd opened up to her about it more.

"It's hard not to, if you don't know you have somewhere you can put it down," Nari replies. "Carry hurt, I mean." She echoes Korrin's sigh. "I hope you consider me a nice shelf," she muses, pulling up a blade of grass and twisting it between her fingers. "I trust you to hold things for me too." The Dalish laughs, one short burst, and then smiles at the mage.

"You were one of the first people I trusted, really."

"I do, and I'll let you know when I need it. It helps to hear that, you know." Aw, Nari. Korrin gives her a soft squeeze, smiling back. For all the hurt they both carry, it is comforting knowing that there's someone willing to listen. Still, she doesn't want to make this moment all about herself, not when Nahariel was the one found crying. Her own hurt can wait.

"Really? That's pretty amazing, since I've been told I have one hell of a resting bitch face. People always seem to think I'm more ornery than I really am." Sometimes she encourages that, true, but not always.

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Whispering wind is blowing [Open]

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