faderift | I Said What What

WHO: Samouel Gareth and OPEN
WHAT: Not amused by certain works of "art" and everyday life in Kirkwall
WHEN: Mid-Harvestmere on
WHERE: Kirkwall
NOTES: Whole lot of arse

I. Another Man's Treasure is Another Man's Arse

Sam groaned lightly in distress under his breath, hand purposefully resting over his mouth in thought, as he stared at the newest piece of art that had been hung in the Inquisition's headquarters. It was a "generous" gift to the Inquisition, or that was what the letter he received that morning said, informing him of it's addition - the writing had been very Orlesian and very, clearly, excited.

Even if it wasn't on display in the heavier trafficked part of the room, the gleam from the bronze certainly did its job in drawing the eye and thus negating any attempt in trying to hide it in plain sight; it didn't help that it was positioned just so, so that the light reflected on it during the day, and at night there was a torch to do just as much.

There hanging on the wall was a bronze casting of an imprint of an ass. HIS ass. He doesn't know why such a thing exists, and doesn't know how the artist had managed to even get it. Sam even questions if it is actually his ass - course he's not about to see if there is a fit - but it really doesn't matter because the plaque clearly states his name.

II. Whistle While You Work

The majority of Sam's work consisted of helping patients at the infirmary, the work load seemingly having increased with the weather getting colder. From time to time there would be a serious injury, but for the most part it was mostly someone needing something for a cough or a cut. Being a healer was easy at those times. There were the times though where it wasn't so easy, namely the more recent incidents where the locals were being slightly hostile with the increase of Rifter leadership; and still expecting you to treat their wounds while they did it.

In Sam's other line of work there was less exposure to that sort of thing, mainly because customers weren't allowed to get close to the forge, and partially it seemed like a bad idea to get close to a man hammering hot metal. Despite it being tough physical labor, the mage often favored those moments where he could get away.

III. Stables

Whenever he found time in the week, Sam always made a point in going to the stables to spend time with Conan. While the stable-hands were taking good care of him, the nuggalope still preferred it when Sam came to give him attention. The mage always felt bad that they weren't out riding as much as they were back in Skyhold, but with how the locals were acting lately it was safer to go on those sporadically, in case anyone was trying to figure out a schedule. For compensation Sam always made sure to bring extra treats and long brushing times, which in turn always earned him getting his shirt chewed on by Conan.

IV. Wildcard

Have another idea? Hit me with it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Standing in front of it probably was only making it more noticeable, but he cannot help but be transfixed with his current... issue.

His back stiffens slightly, knowing it was Korrin who was joining him, seeing her larger frame out of the corner of his eye, but he stays quiet. Maybe if they both stayed quiet- Nope, never mind.

Sam gives a loud sigh, shoulders slumping. "An Orlesian made it," he says, as if that explains the whole issue.

It does, and Korrin snickers as she looks it over. "I'll take a well-bronzed ass over status of Maferath or whatever. It's lovingly detailed, too. You should be proud."

She claps a hand on his shoulder, not even entirely teasing. If it was her ass up there, hell yeah she'd brag about it. No shame.

Well, he has been more proud of his ass as of late, but having it on display like... this was a bit much. At least for him; he knows Korrin would be proud showcasing.

"I just... I can't figure how they got it so detailed." As detailed as a butt could be, but still. "I don't remember modeling or even putting my butt in something to make a cast."

"You sure? Not even unintentionally?" She eyes the bronzed ass, tilting her head. "You gotta admit, they're pretty persistent...and detailed. Has Kirk seen this yet? Because he really should."

And if Sam wouldn't tell Kirk himself, guess who'd be generous enough to do it for him.

"I don't recall putting my butt in anything unintentionally either." He's seriously drawing a blank here, trying to figure how it was done. "I mean the artist didn't mention how he got it in the letter he sent me, informing me that this had been... donated." This was probably going to drive him nuts, but at the same time... maybe it was better that he didn't know.

Sam blinks when Korrin brings up the Rifter. Now that he thinks about it... his hand is over his eyes this time, squeezing the bridge of his nose. "He probably really shouldn't," he argues. Dear Maker, he would be here all the time.

That gets an unrepentant chuckle out of Korrin. "Greatness like this ought to be appreciated! He'll find out anyway, sooner or later. And before you blame me on that, I bet it's going to come from multiple sources. When it's one of our own, word is going to get around."

She steps forward and claps a hand on his shoulder. "If some weirdo Orlesian is going to pull something like this, it's better to run with it than let it get to you, right?"

She's right. Jim was going to find out about it sooner or later, either spotting it when he came in for reports, or from word of mouth - he's going to bet Cyril especially since they all live together.

Sam pouts, enough that his nose wrinkled a bit. "Part of it is because it was some weirdo Orlesian. It couldn't be a well defined ass on a statue or something, it just had to be the ass." Seriously, if it was just inspiration it would have been one thing, but here was his business hanging out for all to see. He does appreciate you trying to cheer him up, Korrin, but since this is just happening he needs to fume.

Oh, she knows. "Maybe when we were all at the Winter Palace? There would have been ample opportunity for something to happen there. And when everything descended into chaos, it's not like your first priority would have been checking for a butt-print."

She shakes her head, then considers. "If it bothers you that much, see if it can be moved? Take away the identifier, and I bet it'd make a nice decoration for the Blooming Rose. More appropriate there, too."

That was a point. "Hm. That's... possible? I still don't recall getting into anything that would have left a butt-print, but you have a point." Well he certainly hadn't been drunk that night and drunkenly offered to have his butt made into a mold. He doesn't think so at least...

"I'm sure word has already gotten around, so even if it was put there... I'd probably be having more people appreciating my ass then I already do." Otherwise that was a great idea, Korrin. "I've already asked. Just waiting to hear or see what happens. I don't want there to be any backlash, but... yeah." Look he's very proud of his butt, but he likes getting to choose who sees it.

"Gonna see about having it melted down?" Korrin might think it a waste, but if Sam truly thinks the joke has worn on far too long, she'd drop the teasing and support him. Though she may be itching to know this butt-artist now and whether or not they plan to do other such work for the Inquisition. Whose ass is next?

"What? No... I'm upset about it, but I can still understand the work that went into it; it's still good craftsmanship... Even if they didn't ask for permission." Bronze was easier to work with, but it still took skill to get that much detail into metal. Honestly a lot of his issue was that it was labeled as his without him knowing; this would be a completely different conversation if it was anonymous.

"Which they should have; hell, they'd have plenty of volunteers if they'd asked around for ass-art models." Korrin smirks, and her gaze falling on the honey badger tattoo on her forearm brings to mind one person in particular. Asher would have had no shame whatsoever, she's certain of that.

"The letter said he was 'inspired' so not sure if it was a planned thing, but still. Yes, some permission would have been nice. The lack of a name tag to go with it so that everyone I work with now knows what I have in my pants."

His eyes then gaze down at the tattoo that has Korrin's attention, and Sam gives a huff with was a mixture of amusement and some grief. "Yeah, he'd be all into that."

Korrin smiles sadly at that, then lowers her arm. "Would it help to step away from it for a while? I was going to get lunch; you're welcome to join me. It's been a while since we caught up, anyway."

Sam raises a brow and takes a glance at the art. Would he be better after stepping away? "... I probably should step away. Just staring at it isn't going to change anything, or make less people look at it." Course he'll be worried about that for the rest of time, but nothing he can do about it. "Yeah. Food sounds good."

"I thought it might. C'mon, forget about that thing for a while and fill me in on what I missed during the month I was gone." She'd left for Wycome, to see her parents, and somehow found her way to Llomerryn while the Inquisiton's battered ships were there, making her way back with them. So it's far to say she'll have stories of her own, but right now she's content keeping the focus on him.

"I make no promises that I can forget. It kind of has a lasting effect." Probably why the artist had made it in the first place. He can however shift his focus onto other things, like food and taking about the past month; Sam would be more then happy to shift the focus onto something that isn't him considering a whole lot of him was on display currently.

"Can't say I can tell you a whole lot. I was here in Kirkwall the entire month. It was relatively quiet."

I Said What What

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject