I Said What What

[el_tybs]

WHO: Samouel Gareth and OPEN
WHAT: Not amused by certain works of "art" and everyday life in Kirkwall
WHEN: Mid-Harvestmere on
WHERE: Kirkwall
NOTES: Whole lot of arse

I. Another Man's Treasure is Another Man's Arse

Sam groaned lightly in distress under his breath, hand purposefully resting over his mouth in thought, as he stared at the newest piece of art that had been hung in the Inquisition's headquarters. It was a "generous" gift to the Inquisition, or that was what the letter he received that morning said, informing him of it's addition - the writing had been very Orlesian and very, clearly, excited.

Even if it wasn't on display in the heavier trafficked part of the room, the gleam from the bronze certainly did its job in drawing the eye and thus negating any attempt in trying to hide it in plain sight; it didn't help that it was positioned just so, so that the light reflected on it during the day, and at night there was a torch to do just as much.

There hanging on the wall was a bronze casting of an imprint of an ass. HIS ass. He doesn't know why such a thing exists, and doesn't know how the artist had managed to even get it. Sam even questions if it is actually his ass - course he's not about to see if there is a fit - but it really doesn't matter because the plaque clearly states his name.

II. Whistle While You Work

The majority of Sam's work consisted of helping patients at the infirmary, the work load seemingly having increased with the weather getting colder. From time to time there would be a serious injury, but for the most part it was mostly someone needing something for a cough or a cut. Being a healer was easy at those times. There were the times though where it wasn't so easy, namely the more recent incidents where the locals were being slightly hostile with the increase of Rifter leadership; and still expecting you to treat their wounds while they did it.

In Sam's other line of work there was less exposure to that sort of thing, mainly because customers weren't allowed to get close to the forge, and partially it seemed like a bad idea to get close to a man hammering hot metal. Despite it being tough physical labor, the mage often favored those moments where he could get away.

III. Stables

Whenever he found time in the week, Sam always made a point in going to the stables to spend time with Conan. While the stable-hands were taking good care of him, the nuggalope still preferred it when Sam came to give him attention. The mage always felt bad that they weren't out riding as much as they were back in Skyhold, but with how the locals were acting lately it was safer to go on those sporadically, in case anyone was trying to figure out a schedule. For compensation Sam always made sure to bring extra treats and long brushing times, which in turn always earned him getting his shirt chewed on by Conan.

IV. Wildcard

Have another idea? Hit me with it.

Comments

I.

[shotgunsakimbo]

Reaper’s been working on acquainting himself as best he can in Kirkwall, so exploring and observing is something he’s been doing when he can.

The bronze is certainly eye catching, more so when he realizes what the subject matter of the art is once he stops to focus on it. His tone is light as he glances at Sam, "Made by an artist that didn't sit around when they were inspired?"

[el_tybs]

The pun - whether intended or not - has Sam giving an amused snort. It's enough to bring him out of his daze, realizing that he did not recognize the voice. Turning his attention away from the piece, he turns to regard the stranger.

"He certainly had quite the ass-piration," he says coolly, already offering an apologetic smile for his own choice of words.

[shotgunsakimbo]

That just gets a small grin in return from Reaper, because it had been intentional. And it's good to know that puns are universal.

"That's creativity for you - moves everything else in an artists mind to the backside." He nods at the bronze impression, "But not the weirdest thing I've seen done in the name of art."

[el_tybs]

If they weren't, how in your world could you live without puns?

Sam gives a snort at the use of 'backside', covering his mouth a little with the back of his hand. With anyone else he would be agonizing about said piece of art, but since there didn't seem to be a familiarity between him and said piece of art... it was just a friendly conversation.

"Really? A piece of ass is not the weirdest thing you've seen?" Please tell him more.

[shotgunsakimbo]

The lack of familiarity certainly makes the difference between friendly banter over ridiculous artwork and not being the butt of a joke.

Reaper considers for a brief moment, going over a few things in his mind that might require a better explanation of his world's level of technology that he's not quite prepared to give before settling on, "There was an artist a few years ago that was getting some notoriety for their intricate animal sculptures made out of smoked meat."

[el_tybs]

Sam raises a brow at that. "Sculptures... out of smoked meat?" He's having a hard time seeing that. Certainly he knows food can look like a piece of art with proper plating, but to actually make a sculpture? "Just for viewing?" Like it wasn't used to eat at some point?

[shotgunsakimbo]

"Yup, just for viewing." There's nothing in Reaper's tone hinting that he's trying to pull the wool over Sam's eyes either, for how absurd it sounds (on top of just being a waste of food). "If I recall right, rodents had gotten into their studio and eaten a couple of works. The art world called it quite the loss."

[el_tybs]

The confirmation pulls a frown from Sam, clearly not a fan of wasting food for such a reason. The look shifts to disgust at hearing about the rodents. Sure rodents were a common thing here as well, they got into the larders, but one normally didn't leave food out in the open to try and attract them.

Hearing about this has Sam looking at the bronze ass again, considering it differently. "I suppose having ones ass immortalized in bronze is far better then someone recreating it in food."

[shotgunsakimbo]

"I suppose it is. And I'd also wager that some other artist is already trying to out do this." Reaper gestures again to the piece of work in question with a hand and a small amused grin.

"Either by subject or created in something as nonsensical as food."

[el_tybs]

The look on Sam's face shows that he is not a fan by that idea; not necessarily the change in subject but rather someone trying to remake this particular piece of art out of something else.

'Ugh... I really hope not."