faderift | [Open] you've held your head up

WHO: Beleth and YOU
WHAT: A million terrible things have been happening to Beleth in quick succession, and it's finally caught up to her.
WHEN: The last two weeks of Haring, after Sina's funeral
WHERE: The Gallows
NOTES: cw for depression/grieving/vicious dragon attacks

She kept it together, up until the funeral. Kept busy between helping with the plans, and her actual job. She didn't talk much aside from getting everything together, but she had been present. She had always been good at repressing her emotions to do what must be done, and she had put it to use taking as much responsibility as she could from the others that weren't handling it has well.

1.) The days after

But the funeral and wake both pass, and Beleth calls in sick, then turns off her crystal. She's done her duty to her family, and without any other crisis looming, all the stress and grief that's been building up for well over a month comes crashing down. It's not even just Sina, nor is it seeing her brother nearly catatonic, nor the nightmares she was subjected to while fighting the terror demon. It's all of that and more, and Beleth is so, so tired.

She spends most of her time in bed, in a hazy mix of wakefulness and sleep. Sometimes, when she's feeling good enough to get out of bed, but not quite enough to leave the room, she reads in a chair next to an open window. The sunlight helps, as does the sharp, clear winter wind that drifts into the room.

Despite her self-isolation, she'll (somewhat reluctantly) answer the door for visitors--though those she has little care for may find her attempting to move them along with all due speed. Little effort is spent keeping up appearances for these visitors, with no makeup, nor any hair care--leaving her hair in its natural state of a mess of frizzy hair. More telling is the exhausted look on her face, and the way her eyes seem to be focused on something in the distance, even when speaking to someone.

2.) Back in the saddle

However much she wants to spend the next year in bed, life doesn't halt for her misery. Which means that work doesn't stop either, and she knows that there's only so long a division head can slack off. So after a few days of hiding away in her room, Beleth emerges and resumes her responsibilities.

Kind of.

She can be found in her office, usually bent over some paperwork, a glass of wine by her side, in constant flux of fullness as Beleth drinks and refills it. Her productivity is proportional to how full the glass is, and more often than not, she can be found with the pen hovering in the air, her eyes staring off into the distance. Once again, little effort is expended in her appearance, and it's one of the few times she's been in (semi) public without her hair being carefully styled. She doesn't seem to particularly care.

Nor does she seem to worry much about the sudden cold that's gripped Kirkwall. Snow is brushed off of her windowsill, and Kolgrim is kept about her constantly. A fire-breathing mini dragon is a wonderful heater, and other than runs outside for food, she seems content to wait out the cold inside the tower.

There will be no awards won for productivity, but at least she's out here, trying.

2.5) Mistletoe!!

In the breaks between making effort to actually do her job, Beleth stares at the strange creature that's somehow attached itself to her hand. Or is it a plant? It must be camouflage, like a stick insect. But stick insects don't bite your hand and refuse to let go.

She seems, surprisingly, relatively calm about this new predicament. It's so minor compared to everything else, and she hasn't the energy to expend fretting over it. Instead, every once in a while, she examines the mistletoe, and gives it a good shake. When it refuses to budge, she shrugs, and goes back to writing with her other hand.

3.) Winter wonderland

When she does venture out (usually for food), she's prepared. She's lived in the Free Marches her entire life, lived in the middle of the woods during those winters, so she knows how to dress to stay warm. Layered up with a scarf, hat, coat and gloves, the only part of Beleth that's visible is her freckles and purple eyes peeking over her scarf. The upside is that it's harder to see what a disorganized mess she is.

Just in case the layers aren't enough, she's got Kolgrim in her arms--one of the few times she's willing to openly carry the dragon around. Not that she's done very much to hide him, but usually she demurs from having him in public. But this is an exception, and she holds the dragon close as she hustles to and from whatever chore has pulled her from her warm tower room.

She's not eager to talk to people, but she isn't oblivious to others having to deal with the cold, and if anyone seems to be particularly suffering, she'll offer a fire-breathing dragon to their aid--and she'll probably stop him from nipping, even.

3.5) MORE mistletoe!!

This time, the attacking mistletoe has latched onto the only skin showing: Her nose. This is significantly more distressing than the one in her office had been, not least of all because Kolgrim has a serious issue with the strange plant. Either out of instinct or some desire to protect Beleth, he's trying his very best to attack the mistletoe--unfortunately, with it still attached to Beleth.

It's enough that Beleth has to stop her rushing around to try to fend off both the mistletoe and the mini dragon trying to attack it.

"Da'len, stop--I said stop!" She flaps her hand ineffectually at the dragon, who at least hasn't tried resorting to fire yet. "Kolgrim, that is my nose--You are Fen'Harel's own, you know that?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It feels a bit silly, having to cart her brother along with her to the forge, because she couldn’t go alone. Like they were ten again, wanting to go off into the woods to gather plants. But Beleth made a promise to Thranduil, one that she knows he did not ask of her idly, and she will survive feeling a bit like a ten-year-old again, if it means keeping Thranduil’s trust.

Of course, the smart thing to do would just be to avoid the Fëanorians altogether, but when has that ever stopped her?

Luckily, Sorrel is amenable to once again being dragged along on his sister’s idiot whims (as though he never had done the same to her), and once she’s explained a bit of the situation (glancing over what the Fëanorians had done, exactly, because no one has quite told her), they make their way off to the forge, Beleth peeking inside.

“Maedhros? It’s me, Beleth. I’m here, with Sorrelean.”

Sorrel is an easy touch when it comes to requests made by Beleth. Perhaps sometimes his readiness to agree with her whims has come at a price, but more often it leads to interesting things and good stories. A case in point: when she had asked, did he want to meet a Fëanorian? What on the face of Mythal's green world was a Fëanorian, Beleth?

But of course, then she had explained, and he had to say yes. Curiosity alone would have killed him otherwise.

"Hello?"

[Open] you've held your head up

for maedhros

whups i lost this tab but please forgive me im sorry