[Closed] A perfect storm

[justice_is_blond]

WHO: Anders, established-CR people; poke me on plurk or in Discord for a top level if you'd like!
WHAT: A pair of triggers collide and fuck up Anders
WHEN: Early Guardian
WHERE: The Gallows
NOTES: Panic attacks, possible talk of trauma in the past, related issues, dark thoughts

He'd run from being locked up seven times, knowing that the seventh was a death sentence, and been willing to go in alone to what seemed likely to be a lethal trap (and was) to try to destroy his phylactery. With both of them, life like that wasn't worth it.

Now both are back. He's held again, in a Circle, his phylactery is being messed with, and on top of that he can't heal in Darktown so he can do even less than he could in Kirkwall seven years ago.

Comments

Vandelin

[justice_is_blond]

When he has someone with him it's easier. Especially if that someone is Nate. But he cannot afford to show the weakness he's feeling, cannot afford to let his shields down, so he can't ask people to stay with him. He bottles it up, clamps down on it, pushes it back until it bubbles up to the point he has to run and hide and break down in private or else start panicking in front of someone.

It's mid-afternoon when his hands are shaking badly enough that he knows he needs to duck out or risk being ill in front of people. He winds up in the room he works on what he hopes is a cure for the Blight, curled up in the corner, hands around his crystal despite how he's not about to make a call. He's not that broken, he tells himself. He doesn't need to burden anyone. And so he sits there in a room lit by a candle, trying to breathe and trying to be invisible.

[misdirection_hex]

It would be neither kind nor fair nor fitting for Vandelin to offer his vote in favor of the quarantine, and then seclude himself in the Diplomacy offices again without a care for those who objected. The least he can do is make himself available for discussion--but Anders' problem with the lockdown clearly goes beyond logistical disagreements, and every mage here, regardless of opinion on the quarantine, knows why.

He goes to offer what help he can in the infirmary, a check-in and a peace offering at the same time, expecting to find Anders in his usual spot. Finding him missing, he asks around and has no luck, learning only that one of the assisting researchers had seen him slip out the door not very long ago.

It's by sheer trial and error and luck that he stumbles on the room his friend is hiding in. The light is dim enough that were Van human, he might just overlook him--but he can see what's happening, and it's a struggle to keep the pang of concern off his face. "Anders?"

[justice_is_blond]

He hears the door open and can't quite process what that means until he hears his name. Someone else is here. A few seconds that feel an eternity later he's recognizing the voice and looking over.

"Van," he says tiredly. "I..." He'd like to say anything to make it seem like he's okay, but there's no sense in trying to hide the obvious. "I'm sorry, I'm not good company at the moment. Is there an emergency?"

Maybe he should have left a note with someone in case of one, but he hadn't had a lot of time to think. "Forgive me if I get ill in front of you, it's... not a good day."