i'm so sick infected with where i live; [open]

[provenforce]

WHO: Rey and YOU
WHAT: sad sick jedi-in-training.
WHEN: Phase 3-4
WHERE: Infirmary mostly
NOTES: abandonment issues.

[PHASE 3]

After cutting her arm open and getting help from Anders, Rey pretty much permanently set up shop in the Infirmary. At least partly because going back to her room was exhausting, and she wanted to be here in case something finally changed, or someone needed a guinea pig. She's been more than willing to volunteer herself for the cause.

When she isn't trying to kill herself she's mostly spending her time sitting on her cot, upright but eyes closed, meditating. She's trying to connect to the Force, and every so often tears roll down her face as the realization that she can't hits her again. She feels miserable and alone, and often people stop and don't remember who she is.

It's worse when Padawan starts forgetting her. The mabari seems aware of it at first, and starts putting herself more bodily on Rey, laying her head on her lap while she meditates, but eventually she'll doze off and when she wakes and sees a stranger she growls. It only lasts for a few moments before she is licking Rey's face again, but it's enough to break the girl's heart. Padawan has become so dear to her, it hurts more than the people forgetting her that this animal that has loved her so faithfully is forgetting her too.

[PHASE 4]

Feeling a little more like herself is a welcome change, though it's one that comes at an unfortunate cost. The in-corporeality frustrates Rey, if only because she's brought a few small projects down to the Infirmary with her to work on. People forget her more often now, in the middle of a conversation if someone glances away when they look back it's like they forgot they were talking at all. Padawan is gone, Rey took her to the kennelmaster to look after her, because it hurt too much, being remembered and then forgotten.

Rey just sits on her cot, working on fixing the clock she'd broken earlier in the week, swearing in different languages whenever her hands disappear and she loses pieces.

Comments

[nadasharillen]

Nari can't say she knows the feeling. Even the couple of Kirkwall natives she manages to run into each day who refuse to acknowledge her presence still manage to shoulder past her when there was plenty of room to spare. No apologies forthcoming, of course.

"It's certainly not something one might expect," she agrees. "I tell you what... if you like, I'll stay for a bit and chase after anything that falls. And in return, you tell me how that works? I've never seen pieces that fine."

[provenforce]

"You're not going to remember anything I tell you," Rey replies, sounding somewhat defeated. She doesn't like this, hates feeling like she's someone that's so entirely forgettable. She knows it isn't her fault, but it's still frustrating, and in that frustration she's reverting back to her defensive nature that had been her armor when she'd grown up on Jakku.

Sighing she shifts a little, picking her work back up, trying to focus on her hands and staying solid.

"There's a clockmaker on Orlais that I got this from. I think he makes all the pieces himself."