Cloudreach 9:44 Rifter Arrival

[faderifting]

WHO: New rifters & their rescuers.
WHAT: Welcome to Thedas.
WHEN: Cloudreach 10, 9:44
WHERE: Amaranthine
NOTES: This is the arrival log for all new rifters, open also to current characters who would participate in their recovery. New players can also assume everyone survives and arrives back in Kirkwall within a couple of days, but please note there will be a brief quarantine period when they won't be permitted to leave the Gallows, to get them up to speed while ensuring they're not diseased or otherwise going to kill anyone, before they're set loose on the city.

You were asleep—whether deeply or fitfully, falling unconscious for the last time in a pool of blood or just resting your eyes for a moment—and then you were not. And wherever you were was not, anymore, replaced by nothing but the sensation of falling into endless, bottomless nothing. If this were still a dream, you would wake before you hit the ground. You can't die in a dream, they say. In some worlds.

In this world, bathed in the light of a flare of too-bright, greenish light you will find yourself hitting mossy cobblestones with an unforgiving smack. You're alive, and you're fine, except for the narrow splinter of light the same sickly green as whatever brought you here that now glows out of the palm of your left hand. It aches, a bone-deep pain that gnaws even through all the distractions.

Above you is a shifting, crystalline tear in reality; beyond that, gray clouds and a sea breeze, framed by the high walls surrounding the city you've landed in. There are people on the walls, some of them armored and armed, all of them briefly and collectively paralyzed by the sight below.

Don't let their terror go to your head. It's not you that has them intimidated, nor is it any of the humans (or Qunari) who are sprawled out on the ground around you, nor is it the assortment of unfamiliar—to them, not to you, perhaps to you it's very familiar—junk that's spilled out as well, most notably some flaming metallic debris and a giant wooden cross.

It's the beings that are coming out after you, almost as if in pursuit. Two are drifting, spindly things with six spidery limbs in addition to grasping skeletal arms, eager to grab hold of anyone who comes too close and fill their field of vision with swirling darkness and corner-of-the-eye glimpses of whatever frightens them. Several more most closely resemble trees, perhaps, with half-melted squids for heads—which might not sound particularly scary, fine, but their ability to dive into the ground and resurface anywhere with rasping screams helps on that front.

All of these things would like to kill you, and the people around you, and the people on the walls, and perhaps the other people screaming and scurrying into taverns and shops for cover. But you're not alone. Out of those same taverns and shops come people who do seem to know what they're doing; many are wearing a symbol that looks a bit like a hairy eyeball being pieced through by a sword, and at least a couple of them seem to know what they're doing. Almost like they've been waiting for you. In fact, exactly like they've been waiting for you.

---

AFTERWARDS, the grateful citizens of the City of Amarenthine might provide a drink, a meal, or a place to tend to wounds before everyone sets back toward Kirkwall. It's not a long trip, but one that requires boarding a ship to cross a narrow sea. It will be a rough, stormy journey, but there won't be any demons.

Comments

Jester Lavore || Critical Role

[the_cleric]

i- the Rift.

Jester falls asleep at the Leaky Tap, and wakes up--

"Shit, shit, shit!"

--on a street, in a city, with a big ugly squid screaming at her.

No, it isn't a squid. It looks like a very tall tree with a squid mask on the top of it. That is so stupid that it would almost be funny, if Jester wasn't backed up against a wall with the squid tree screaming in her face. She had tried to get away more gracefully, but there is something really really wrong with her balance. Like when you spin in a circle and get dizzy, but worse.

Her belly hurts, too, and not in a way like she ate too many doughnuts. It is different, and when she spares a glance, the front of her pretty dress is glowing green from the inside. It looks like the light above them, which is very weird, but then, this whole thing is weird. The things that are on fire around her might be the least weird part. Sometimes stuff is just on fire.

The squid tree monster swipes at Jester with its big spindly hand. She has nowhere to go, and no shield, and she hasn't pulled out any weapons because she just woke up. Instinct makes her lift her arm to defend herself, and the sleeve of her dress tears under the monster's twiggy fingernails. Dark blood blooms across Jester's sleeve. It hurts, almost worse than her belly. The monster screams again.

"You look REALLY REALLY STUPID!" Jester screams back, cradling her bleeding arm against her chest. Her scream is in Infernal, a Hellish Rebuke that sends the monster stumbling back. A burst of ice forms like a beard on its stupid squid face and all down the front of its chest, and the monster begins clawing at itself now, trying to break free of freezing.

Jester kicks its leg. There's a crack. The monster gives a cry of rage, muffled by the ice that has crystallized over its mouth.

Wait, Jester thinks. Her foot is really big. And so is her arm. And so is her hand. Despite the situation, Jester takes a moment to gasp, as she looks down at herself. "What the--? Ahh! Shitballs!"

It's more awed than frightened. To anyone else, she looks like a Qunari: seven feet tall, well-muscled, with horns and a tumble of dark hair that, in human terms, would be best described as a bob. A Qunari, wearing a pretty blue dress with a cloak, looking
down at herself like it's the first time she's ever seen herself.

ii- AFTERWARDS.

"Yes, yes, yes." Jester, at a trestle table in a cozy inn, pokes her bottom lip out. For anyone expecting Qunari stoicism, she is, perhaps, looking uncharacteristically and exaggeratedly sad. She's even holding a handkerchief in her big grey hand, which she dabs at the corner of one eye, to take care of her imaginary tears. "I woke up and I had no friends, and there were demons, screaming at me. And one of them tore my dress, which was so pretty. And I am so hungry."

The serving woman (the true owner of the handkerchief) makes a noise of sympathy. She is the only one who dared to approach the sniffly Qunari and has been roped into listening to a rifter's tale of woe. To a native, her accent will be very strange: most certainly foreign, though from where, who can say. To a Rifter who knows Europe, she sounds Eastern European.

"If I had a plate full of muffins," Jester says, dabbing at her other eye, "I would probably feel much better. But I don't have any muffins...."

Muffins are maybe a long shot, but Jester's luck holds out. A few minutes later sees her well-supplied, seated behind a big platter crowded with muffins. The serving woman touches her shoulder, gently, and Jester sighs a happy, trembly breath, and presses the handkerchief to her mouth.

"Oh," she says, "that is much better. Thank you. And, maybe some milk? Then I would feel really great."

The serving woman moves away to comply with that request. The moment her back is turn, Jester drops the act, and the handkerchief. She picks up a muffin and takes a big bite. Chews.

"Oh, man," she says, with her mouth full, "this is really really good. Hey!" She turns to whoever is sitting next to her, and holds out the bitten muffin. "Have you tried the muffins yet? They are amazing!"

iii- other.

[ Hey write me something else or I can write you something else too, thanks!!! ]

I

[gatheringstorm]

As though the battlefield wasn't chaotic enough, a shout in an unknown language resulting in ice definitely gets Korrin's attention. She glances around and spots the fear demon, smirking a little at the ice 'beard' before noting that some terror demons have been drawn to the racket. As the other qunari woman gawks at herself, she blurs forward on waves of magic in order reach her first. Brandishing a staff and currently empty blade hilt, she glares and unleashes a Chain Lightning spell, provoking a chorus of grating shrieks as the terror demons are each struck in turn.

"Stare later! Can you keep doing that ice thing?"

[the_cleric]

"Whooooaaaaa!" Jester yells, in response. Looking at someone who looks like almost like a tiefling, who then casts crazy lightning and hits all the monsters around them--well, what else is she supposed to say? "Lady, you are really cool!"

Wait, there was a request part. Jester drops her hands.

"Ah! Um, um, yeah--probably--ummm, YOUR HEAD LOOKS LIKE A GROSS PENIS!"

--Abruptly in Infernal, and full of enough conviction that ice explodes across the terror demon nearest to her. Not that she knows them for terror demons. They're just ugly dickhead monsters to her, and she whips her gaze to another terror demon, lurching forward.

"YOU TOO! DICKHEAD!"

[gatheringstorm]

"Perfect!" It's too bad Korrin doesn't know Infernal, because she would have found all that hilarious. As it is, the magic involved is definitely useful and she moves to take advantage of the distraction. Just in range for it to affect them both, Korrin casts Barrier over herself and Jester before activating her spirit blade. The previously empty hilt is now a glowing blade; aggressively, she slices into the demons and though the blade winks out after each swing, it flares anew as she continues.

All that would make for a brutally efficient plan, but terror demons have one trick up their sleeves which even Korrin can't counter. One disappears and phases in directly on top of Korrin, knocking her onto her back. Ouch.

[the_cleric]

Jester's eyes get all sparkly when the glowing sword shows up. "I know that one!" she says. "Spiritual Weapon! Wait, wait--we can be Spiritual Weapon twins--"

Should she do a glowing sword too? No, that's no fun. There's no real question as to the form that Jester's Weapon will take. The giant lollipop blips into existence with a crackle of magic, and Jester cheers for herself.

"Look!" she says, as she grabs for it. "Aww, I want mine to glow too... Maybe-- ahh!"

That yell is because the monster suddenly zipped over and flattened Jester's new friend. Slavering like a, well, monster, it makes that horrible screech again. Lucky for Korrin, Jester is pretty much right there next to her. Perfectly in range to bring her lollipop crashing down on the monster's head.

"Go away!" she barks, authoritatively. "We don't want you here!"

A second strike with the lollipop and the monster reels back, shifting somewhat off of Korrin.

II

[circleprodigy]

A small -relatively-speaking, at 4'10"- elven woman in armor is seated with her tea, observing the dramatics with a raised eyebrow and some amusement. Beside her is a large, muscled war hound who perks up as this qunari lady holds out a muffin. He wags his tail, letting out a small pitiful whine as though he's starving when his bulk clearly indicates that can't be true. Sighing at her dog, his mistress shakes her head as she moves her staff away before he can knock it over.

"I haven't, but now that you've mentioned it, Garahel here won't rest until that happens. He is -to put it bluntly- something of a bottomless pit." And a shameless one, too. Won't you help him, Jester?

[the_cleric]

Will she ever.

"Oh, my gosh," Jester squeaks out, first. She covers her mouth with her free hand, but it's not enough to hide her giant smile. "A puppy dog! Aaaaaa," which is a happy squeal, and immediately Jester thrusts out the hand that is holding the bitten muffin. "I am totally always going to share with puppy dogs. Don't even worry, Garahel. What a great name. He's your dog?"

Because maybe this elf lady is just babysitting. "Do you want a muffin too? There is plenty. And I can definitely get that lady to give me more."

[circleprodigy]

That enthusiastic greeting makes Garahel instantly happy, and a small smile curves his mistress' lips. Anyone who has a soft spot for canines is someone worth her time. As Garahel quickly inhales the treat, she nods to the first question and the offer.

"I might as well have something to go with tea; thank you. I'm Inessa and yes, he's my mabari. They're the smartest breed in all of Thedas, and he has been my companion since a pup. Thank you for indulging him, though I shouldn't allow much more than that. I have to watch his intake, or he'll make himself ill."

[the_cleric]

"Aww, but he is such a cute puppy. If he got sick, I'm sure someone would heal him."

Jester sure would. She giggles as Garahel eats the muffin out of her hand. No flinching, though she does pull a face that is half grossed and half pleased. Eww, but a fun eww.

And--before she gets the muffin for Inessa--Jester leans in close so she can take Garahel's face in her hands and moosh it up a little, the universal this-dog-is-so-friggin'-cute-I-can't-help-myself move. "Don't worry," she whispers to him, "I'll give you treats."

No matter what. She air kisses him, mwah, mwah, and then she lets go to get that muffin for Inessa at last. Priorities, man.

"I'm Jester. And I'm totally, totally new here. I fell asleep in Zadash and woke up here. It is crazy, man." And not entirely welcome. But far be it from Jester to complain. "I had to fight these monsters with squid heads and I was practically in my pajamas!"

III

[exascendee]

Battle fought, wounds healed, and stomach filled, it seems they're being carted of to -- where was it? Kirkwall. Daniel has question about where and why and what and how, but he's been assured that his questions will be answered in detail later, and honestly he doesn't have the energy to argue the point. He knows he didn't arrive through a Stargate, so it's not like he can just pop back home to get the rest of the team.

As they set out to sea, Daniel remembers why he prefers spaceships to these kinds of ships. Generally speaking they have much better stabilisers. Though honestly it's not that often he ends up on a boat compared to how often he's on a spaceship. But at least he doesn't have to be on deck.

He should definitely hold onto something while he walks in this weather though, because as they hit a particularly rough wave, Daniel ends up stumbling into someone roughly a head taller than him.

[the_cleric]

Jester is better at walking than she was when she first arrived. It is still strange, being without her tail. But she is learning. Only, now that she is on a ship, she has that to contend with too. Trying to keep balance in two different ways is not very easy.

All this is to say that when this guy stumbles into her, Jester stumbles, too--backwards.

"Heyyyyy!" She grabs onto the stranger to stabilize herself, and keep herself from totally falling on her ass. It kind of sort of almost half works. He's shorter than she is--something else to get used to!--and there's not as much to grab.

All this is to say that when Jester grabs onto the stranger, they both fall down together.

[exascendee]

"Wh--"

Oh, bad move, bad move.

Daniel may have been healed a bit, but he is nowhere near peak physical condition right now, the closed-up gash in his side still hurts, and falling on top of someone in no way helps, though he pretty sure he avoids elbowing her in the face or anything like that.

He rolls off her with a pained expression and gritted teeth, clutching at his side, where his clothes are still torn and bloodied. "...Ow," he punctuates finally, and he's just gonna... lie on the floor for a second right now, if you don't mind.

[the_cleric]

"Oof!" Jester's breath leaves her all at once, when she hits the deck. It doesn't feel good, but it doesn't hurt that bad, either. Now that she's so big and tall, she can take more damage.

She pushes herself up onto her elbows and rubs at the back of her head with one hand, half-smiling and half-wincing.

"Owww," she agrees. But much more cheerfully. "If you wanted to meet me, we could have just shaken hands, you know. My name is Jester," and expectantly, she holds out her hand to him. Then she catches sight of his clothes, and her hand goes to cover her mouth instead. "Ohh! Did I do that to you? Oh no, oh no..."

She's scrambling around now to sit up and get closer to him, already preparing Cure Wounds.

i

[zombra]

Jester probably won't consider it lucky that she's being attacked by a demon, but in a way she is, because if Tessa hadn't seen the squid tree thing attack her, she probably would have hit Jester herself. It's nothing personal, but she's seven feet tall and has horns. Where Tessa's from, fiction uses goes with horns being evil. Or a goat. Or an evil goat. But anyway, Jester is clearly in need of aid, so Tessa decides to table any discussion about what the hell Jester even is and help her instead.

"Kill it!" She yells, running forward and wailing on it with her M16. It ran out of ammo almost immediately, and it's the only weapon she has, so she's going to use it either until it breaks, or all these crazy ass things are dead.

[the_cleric]

"Ahhh!" Jester yells, first, before, "Okay, okay! I was going to!"

Kill it. That's a straightforward solution that Jester can totally, totally get behind. Her sickle is strapped to her back and not easy to reach, especially not with her clawed arm. A quick glance at the weapon this lady has tells her nothing. It's something, and she's using it as a blunt object to beat down the squid tree.

Following suit, Jester raises up her good arm. Her hand is dark with her own blood, but so what? Spiritual Weapon, and with a burst of magic, there, hanging in the air above the squid tree, is a giant lollipop.

The lollipop drops the moment that Tessa is sort of clear, plummets in a swift and brutal strike to brain the squid tree right on its ugly stupid head. The sick cracking sound that follows could turn a squeamish person's stomach, but Jester isn't squeamish, and she's not exactly a person, either.

The demon reels back from that blow, tottering on its spindly legs. A perfect chance for another whack with the M16.

[zombra]

Maybe Tessa could cut Jester a little slack. After all, the urge to freak out is strong right now, so it's not like this is a foreign concept or anything. But Tessa's got a strong self-preservation instinct too and it's kicked into high gear right now. She's totally focused on beating this thing down. Totally focused on hitting its head since she assumes that's where it's vulnerable. Totally focused on... is that a giant lollipop?

"What?!" she manages to get out before there's a window of opportunity to strike. She never thought she'd be in a situation where the line between life and death would be determined by how distracted she'd be by a giant lollipop moving by itself. Thankfully death doesn't occur because she was staring slack-jawed at a lollipop. No, Tessa gathers her wits and swings low on the creature, knocking its legs out from under it. The impact is felt through her wrists and up her arms, making her grunt in pain, but she ignores it to raise the gun over her head and slam it down on the squid tree's midsection. That sends a large crack down the side of the M16, but its still usable for the moment. And the squid thing is frustratingly still alive.

[the_cleric]

The squid monster does screech, again--but for all the anger in that screech, there's equal parts pain, too--because man, getting cracked in the chest with the M16 hurt. Its arms flail up, swiping with blind murderous rage, trying to get at her.

Swiping turns to flailing as Jester echoes the M16's strike with a strike from the lollipop. Crack, down on the monster's chest--and then crack, again, a second time, and the monster's screech becomes a panicked croak--

"Okay!" Jester yells. "Now you kill him!"

Afterwards

[gotyourselfapilot]

Poe had to get away from certain people to hopefully mingle with some more happier spirits of heart. He couldn't help but look from a distance at Jester as she had been explaining her situation to the serving people. At least someone seemed to be more at ease around here. She at least seemed that way given her features. He slowly makes his way since it's not really polite to stare as long as he had been. The serving people would glance at him as if he may want something else and he shakes his head at them while lifting up the mug that he had been tending to. Poe could make this rather large mug last for a while.

As he came over to her to be closer, he didn't really know the foods of this planet and when she asked. He gives a polite smile while shaking his head. "I think I had some kind of meat and bread. I'm not sure what the meat was but it was good. I haven't had a muffin before. So what's all in it exactly?" Sorry, Jester, he's going to need to be educated on a few things. There's going to be many things to learn, but maybe Jester could help him with these easy things.

He does need to learn how to use a weapon from this planet. Poe wouldn't even know how to use a sword or mace properly. Even a shield, from what he has observed, there wasn't anything advanced technology wise. There's going to be a lot of learning curves. He's going to be bugging a lot of different people to learn. Hopefully he'll make a few friends a long the way too. If not, at least he'll enjoy whoever wanted to talk to him and the company could always be nice.

[the_cleric]

"Meat and bread," Jester repeats, skeptically, "well, that's pre-tty good. But this muffin is going to be way better. Here!"

She reaches out with her free hand to grab him by the wrist, turn his hand up, and plops the bitten muffin right down square in the center of his palm. Her movements are cheerfully brisk, with no real force behind them--only she is very, very strong now, so perhaps she's a teensy bit too forceful with putting the muffin in his hand.

"Wow, I can't believe you haven't had a muffin before. You must have been living underneath a rock or something. Without a bakery. Muffins are sweet. Well, the best ones are sweet. There are other kinds. It is almost like a cupcake, but without the frosting, so you can pretend it is healthy. But," and she leans in close, as she drops her voice to a sneaky whisper, "they are not that healthy. That is why they taste so good!"

This is in no way answer the question that was actually asked of her, but Jester smiles at him with expectancy and encouragement anyways.

"We-elllll? Eat it! Eat it!"

[gotyourselfapilot]

It did sound pretty boring as food went but Poe was thankful for the energy that it would provide. He didn't feel all that hungry afterwards. Jester should be lucky that he doesn't mind being touched in the matter that she had. Any other person might have gotten upset by it. Poe though raises his eyebrow up in surprise by the friendly gesture if not forcefulness of the muffing being put into his hand.

"I never really had the time to stop around to look for these things. When you're on a regulated diet sweets weren't on those lists. Especially if they wanted to keep you in shape." Muffins wouldn't be on the list but some other bread products would be though. He looks down at the half partially already eaten muffin. Jester seemed to really know about sweet foods.

Poe gives her a small smile back before lifting the muffin up towards his mouth. He might as well give it a try since she seemed really into him trying it. Plus he didn't really want to make her upset if he refused either. She seemed really happy and he wasn't sure how she would be if sad by a simple act. Poe though is pleasantly surprised by the way it tastes and it's not bad at all.

"Hmm. I can see why it's not really healthy. But you're right on it tasting good."

[the_cleric]

A regulated diet? Jester blows a raspberry at that, right away, though she does not say or do anything else to interrupt otherwise. And he eats the muffin anyways--and he likes it! Pleased, Jester bursts into a small round of applause, as if she were the one who handmade the muffin just for him.

"See! I told you you would like it," she says--even though she didn't. But she implied it, and that's good enough. She turns back to grab another muffin for herself, with a great deal of self-satisfaction. "They are sometimes better with a little bit of butter. Or a lot a bit of butter, which is the way I like to eat them. So," and she takes a bit of her muffin, and chews, "why were you on a regulated diet? Did you need to lose weight?"

iii

[strangel]

Helena is crouched on top of a big wooden crate, edges of it falling away. It took some damage when it was flung from the rift, and Helena is scooping inside to the broken contents near the damaged surface, and licking peanut butter off her fingers. The demons are done. There are injured, but the injured are not particularly of interest. No sestras arrived today, but perhaps that will be less stressful for Sarah,

So she's watching the people around her cagily, and hisses viciously when a devil strays too close.

[the_cleric]

The hissing sounds for a moment like an upset cat, and Jester stops so she can look around for it. If the cat is hurt and needs help, she can help it. Then she thinks, no, wait, that wasn't a cat, and it's right then that she sees Helena. With something brown smeared around her mouth, and all over her hands.

"Is that chocolate on your face?" Jester asks, heedless of the hissing. No, wait. "Is that poop on your face?"

[strangel]

There's a snarl, rather than words; Helena doesn't really grap the meaning of things like "hooks" and "dear god, think of the cr" and the usual helpful things that might be taken into consideration.

No, Helena lunges upward from her place on the crate, seeking to grab one of the devil's horns and twist.

[the_cleric]

"Heyyyy!"

--and not ow, because it doesn't exactly hurt that bad. Horns aren't twistable, not when they're anchored as part of your skull, and the grip is all wrong and extra slippery thanks to the poop-or-maybe-chocolate smeared on this weirdo's hands. Jester takes a step back.

"Awww, gross! You got me all dirty, man! Get your own horns, okay, these ones are mine!"

Well, kind of. However Jester came to be all stretched out in this body with these horns that are pretty good if not quite as cute as her real horns--a process she's still a little unclear on--the fact remains that these are basically her horns, and dirty poop hands aren't welcome.