faderift | [semi-open] I will be your shining light

Entry tags:

[semi-open] I will be your shining light

WHO: Rey, Obi-Wan, open
WHAT: a reunion, and open
WHEN: after the rifters get to Kirkwall, and throughout Cloudreach.
WHERE: the docks, the Gallows
NOTES: will add if they become relevant

The Docks - Obi-Wan

Rey is tired after the trip to Orlais and looking forward to taking a bath and sleeping in her own bed for a change. But she can't help opening her senses as she disembarks, feeling out the Force, looking for Ben. What she doesn't expect is to sense someone else, someone she had grimly accepted she would never feel again.

She stops where she stands, Padawan looking at her quizzically as she freezes, trying to zero in on where he is. Obi-Wan.

When she determines the direction she takes off running down the docks, the Force guiding her. She catches sight of him and pushes herself faster, even as her vision blurs from tears welling in her eyes. She doesn't slow down until she crashes into him, throwing her arms around him with a sob. She's been so unsure of so much lately, but she can't help the profound relief washing over her as she feels the presence of her master once again.

Open - Training yard

She's back to one lightsaber, not that she minds. It's easier to control one than two, and she's more comfortable this way. The lightsaber that she had come to think of as hers in her hand, her first line of defense against demons and whatever else stands in her way.

For the moment she's running through her forms, things she learned under Obi-Wan, and a few she'd improvised, modified from Kylo Ren's fighting style. She holds the ignited saber in front of her, sweeping it in a slow arc, pacing her breathing, before speeding up, taking herself through motions she's practiced what feels like a thousand times, now.

Her chosen training spot is a little out of the way, but the low hum of the saber usually attracts some attention.

Open - Rey's Workshop

Often in the evenings, unless Rey is working on something or wanting private time, she'll leave the door to her room open so that Padawan can come and go, and so that others who might need her services can pop in. Or just so friends can pop in. The usual organized chaos of her room stands regardless of the day, and she is usually sitting at her desk, bent over something or another.

Her current project is another series of mini trebuchets that can be used in the obstacle course, and they sit around her desk in a varied state of disarray, some fully constructed, others waiting to be finished. She will look up when someone walks in, and if it's someone she doesn't recognize her tools will go down and she'll stand, asking who they are. If it's a friend they'll just get a smile and a wave as Rey finishes whatever she's in the middle of doing. She can talk and tinker, she's good at multitasking.

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"I didn't think it would be easy," she replies, raising her eyebrows at him. She knows him, at least well enough to know that smiles won't come easy. Still, she imagines that once smiles came easy to him, and maybe one day they would again. Now that he's free of Snoke, and the expectations of the First Order.

Biting her lip she slides her hands down to press against his chest, pushing away from him gently.

"I have a present for you. I... if you don't like it you don't need to wear it, but--" She reaches into her pouch again, producing a polished blue crystal that's wrapped on one end in silver wire that seems to vaguely evoke a lightsaber hilt and hung on a chain. On the crystal in aurebesh the word 'hope' is inscribed. "I got the pendant from a jeweler in Orlais, I did the writing myself. I have one that matches it." She reaches into the collar of her shirt, pulling out a pendant that's only similar in color and make, the cut of the rock a little different but no less evocative of a lightsaber. "I know it's not your color, but the jeweler made these because he saw me fighting, once. He didn't have anything in red."

For a moment he's at a loss for words, his fingers lifting up the small crystal up from her hands. He takes the chain, turning the crystal over in his fingers to examine it, thumb tracing the etched in text done carefully by her hand. It was a small thing, but it lifted his spirits farther than they'd been before she had come to see him. His gaze drops to her necklace and he reaches out to inspect that too, running his fingers over the smoothly carved pendant.

"I didn't- I didn't think to get anything for you when we went to Amaranthine to help close the rift." And now he could feel anxiety rise up in him, ever so slightly, that he had only caused trouble while there - for her and Obi-Wan and probably for others too. He'd been so caught up in his old fears and prejudices that he'd missed an opportunity to do something to show her he'd thought of her while she was away.

"Thank you." His brows knit together as he tries to think of how to convey his feelings to her. Instead he decides to just put on the necklace. She was right that it wasn't quite his color, but it still gave him something of her to hold onto.

She watches him carefully, drinking in his reaction to the present. She'd been worried he wouldn't like it, or it would seem like something ridiculous and over-the-top. But finding something for him had been a complicated matter, because she had so many memories of him tied up in their shared loneliness, she didn't want to draw on that. When she had run into the jeweler who had created the pendants it had seemed like something that could be safe. Simple, but she'd liked them.

Shaking her head when she feels the anxiety in him at the thought that he hadn't gotten her anything she reaches to touch his face again, her smile soft.

"You didn't need to get me anything. I just... I wanted to get you something, and I had the money. Do you like it?"

"I do. I haven't received a gift in a long time." All of his possessions before had been granted to him by his own hands and the privilege his rank within the First Order provided. His custom TIE fighter, what little possessions he'd somehow brought over through the rift... he'd gotten those things himself. He couldn't even remember the last gift someone had given him.

"I'll have to see Orlais with you sometime. What's it like?" He wanted to see more than just the places he was granted to go by the Inquisition. He wanted to see so many things with her. Whatever made her happy, really. He'd follow her to any number of places if it made her happy.

Before Thedas, the first gift Rey had ever received in her life had been from Han Solo, a blaster that she still cherishes, even if it no longer works. She's received occasional gifts since coming to Thedas from people she has become friends with, to the point that the practice of picking up gifts no longer seems strange to her. She hopes with time Ben will feel as welcome as she does, in this respect.

"It's... ostentatious," Rey responds after a moment of consideration to his question, her fingers reaching out to touch the pendant she'd given him where it now rests against his chest. "Parts of it are beautiful, but it's a country that's built itself up at the expense of others. Not all the people are bad, but I like it here, better."

It's on the tip of his tongue to argue that some places built up at the expense of other people could form solid and lasting governments and happy people in the end, but he knows that would sound far too like the First Order for her liking. It wasn't as if the Republic or the Resistance were immune to such things. Sacrifices were at times necessary. He keeps it to himself, though he knows his thoughts don't always stay his own with how strong their connection through the Force is.

"I like this place better when you're here." He'd felt restless with her gone and then with their kiss the night before - he'd become more anxious to see her. His larger hand moves to cover hers, capturing it against his chest where she could still the steady beat of his heart in his rib cage. His other hand remains at her waist, drawing lazy circles with his thumb on her hip.

"So... what do we do about this?" Them. Clearly unified in their belief that they were becoming more than enemies or friends. They had become somewhat a couple and he didn't know really what to do about it. It changed a few things just as much as it had created that understanding between them.

She lets him have her hand, smiling a little at the unfamiliar sensation of his thumb drawing circles on her hip. Things seemed to have settled around them, a calmness washing over her as she stands here with him in his room, having affirmed that yes, there is something here, something more than just friendship.

His question draws a quiet laugh from her, and she shakes her head, shrugging her shoulders at the same time.

"I don't know. Do you want to go to the library and look up Thedosian courting customs?" She's teasing, a corner of her mouth curled as she shifts her stance a little, leaning closer to him. She'd created some distance when she'd pulled away to give him his gift, she wants it gone, now.

He lets out an amused huff, his smile returning around the same time hers does. Looking at her now, a hunger for the closeness she was offering lingered in his thoughts just as much as his gaze. He worries lightly at his bottom lip before pressing onward with a light kiss against her lips. If she had any intention of going back to her room to sleep alone, well she would have to put those plans on hold. He wanted her to stay.

"I think we can come up with a few creative ideas. I don't think we need to study books just yet." He mumbles against her lips, barely restraining himself from kissing her harder than he is now. If there was one thing he often lacked it was self control. His hand on her hip slides up her back again, pressing her close to him while his other hand still trapped hers against his chest, unless she chose to move it away.

She feels a tingle rush up her spine as he kisses her. It remains when he pulls her closer, their hands trapped between his chest and hers, her other sliding up into his hair. She likes his hair, the texture, the way it feels as she rakes her fingers through it.

His words make her laugh a little, partly because he's talking against her lips, partly the content of the sentence. They were nothing if not capable of coming up with things on their own. She kisses him again, lips pressing into his, before responding.

"Do you have any ideas right now?"

"Stay?" He kisses her again, stepping back towards his bed and bringing her with him with each step. "Tell me about the places you've seen."

He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, holding her hands in his as he looks up at her. Perhaps for someone else an invitation to stay the night might have other meanings, but for the two of them it meant relief from ghosts that haunted their sleep. It was late, after all.

"Or we can get some rest. You've had a busy day." He rubs his thumbs over the backs of her hands, marveling at how small they were yet strong. She'd been able to nearly split him in half without hardly any training at all. These hands of hers were also capable of kindness just as much as cruelty. It spoke of who she was as a person and the choices she'd made - she chose to do good things and believe in the good of others while he still struggled.

Edited 2018-04-17 00:08 (UTC)

He didn't even need to ask, she'd locked her door half with the intent that once she stepped into his room she wasn't leaving again until the morning. She smiles down at him as he sits, holding her hands. She knows there's a few steps missing here, that ordinarily people in couples didn't share a bed until after they engaged in less innocent activities, but. She also knows there's nothing ordinary between them.

She leans down to kiss him lightly before freeing her hands, unbelting her satchel and kicking off her shoes, crawling onto the bed next to him.

"It is late. But it's... been a good day. I almost don't want it to end."

He makes himself comfortable first, immediately pulling her into his arms with a contented groan. He'd been so anxious for the day to be over with so he wouldn't have to think about his lightsaber or what Rey would think of him and now that he's able to relax it's a relief.

"Me either." He kisses her cheek, burying his face into the curve where her neck and shoulder meet. Reaching blindly for the blankets, he tucks them over the both of them and moves in to press another kiss to her lips. It seems the more he did it the more he couldn't stop doing it.

"I just want us to be together. Just like this." Nothing was stopping them, either. Luke wasn't here to tell her what a mistake it was and Snoke wasn't here to use her to hurt him. It was just the two of them.

She lets out a surprised gasp as he pulls her into his arms, not expecting him to wrap himself around her so quickly. She wouldn't have pegged him as someone who would enjoy cuddling, at least not from what she'd known of him before they'd gotten to know one-another. She likely wouldn't have pegged herself as someone who enjoyed it, either. But she loves the feeling of his arms around her, his face pressed into her neck, the warmth of his body soaking into hers.

Smiling she traces her fingers over his cheekbone, letting herself just exist in this moment.

"I want that too. I think we can have that, here."

He was typically a solitary person by nature. The fact that she was in his room at all was out of the norm for him. He didn't get close to people. If he did, he risked being hurt. It was better to be alone. These were things he'd tried telling himself for so long and yet he had already broken so many of his own rules with her.

She was right, though. They could have a different life here - one where they could be together. It wasn't what was waiting for them back home. The thought only makes him want to hold onto her more. He hadn't asked her to join him on a whim. He had a specific image in mind of what he saw the galaxy to be under their rule and she'd turned him away. He wonders why now was so different - what about him had changed? Just the smallest bit of insecurity had dark thoughts swirling in his head but he pushes it back as far as he can. She was here with him. That was what was important. The rest could wait.

"Mm. We can have anything we want here." He settles with her in his arms, pressing lazy kisses to her skin. He might not be a perfect person but he knew he made her less lonely. That was enough, he thinks. She had come here to see him, to stay with him. What other reason did he need as proof?

This close and this relaxed it's hard to mask thoughts, and even though he tries she catches some of that insecurity and she presses her lips together, her hold on him shifting a little so her arm is wrapped around his head, fingers stroking through his hair gently. She thinks about letting it go, pushing it down like he had, but she knows it will come back eventually. Maybe she can ease some of that anxiety now, in the moment.

"I didn't leave because of you," she murmurs, pressing her lips to his ear. It had broken her heart to leave him, breaks it still to think of the look on his face as he'd begged her to join him. "I need you to know that."

It was soothing, feeling her fingers comb through his hair while he held onto her like she was a lifeline. He could remember with perfect clarity, prying into her thoughts when they met and speaking of how lonely and afraid she'd been to leave her home. In a sense he'd been lonely and afraid of her leaving him after everything that had passed between them.

He nods in answer, nose brushing against her throat when he does. He was comforted by how warm she was, how steady her heart beat in time with his own. He wanted to believe her, to believe that if they were still back home that she might be with him like this now - someday.

"I overplayed my hand a bit." He pulls away from the warmth of her, where he'd been content to keep burying his face into like a child, trying to articulate his thoughts. "I thought that because I understood what you went through that you wouldn't have to go through it again if you'd just stayed with me."

And not even begging her to stay had helped. He knew the reasons of course. He was content to watch the Resistance she had come to love so much burn because he knew without it and the First Order left standing, there would be no one left to fight. He wanted to take the ashes of both and bend them to his will as he'd done his lightsaber. But not her. He'd wanted her to be beside him through all of it.

Rey shifted as he pulled away, propping her head up with an arm, her lips pressed together as she listens to him. His admitting he'd overplayed his hand helps ease some of the frustration she still feels over that moment.

"I couldn't have stayed with the First Order," she says quietly, her hand running down along his shoulder as she talks. "I expected too much of you, too. I thought that... just because I saw a vision of one possible future that I could force it to come true. That all you needed was for me to show up and that you'd turn." She feels foolish, saying it now. She'd been reckless, flying right into the First Order flagship with a hope and no plan.

But she'd absolutely do it again in a heartbeat.

"I don't know that I could have gone back with you either, even if I had wanted to." The people who ruled now were weak, but they still had power. He would have been condemned for a war criminal, a murderer. His mother might still love him but that didn't change that it could very well have been his ship blasting her people into the sky. He also hadn't stopped Hux from using that damned weapon of his to obliterate planets.

It was better that both sides burn for neither was terribly innocent. It had been the Republic that had opened the door to corruption, after all. Without their squabbling the First Order would have never come to be in the first place. But those were long winded politics that he didn't want to think about. They weren't home, they were in a strange land with no way to go back and with no reason to truly dwell on all these things.

"I guess it doesn't matter. We won't be going anywhere for a long time." She had been here a year already. Who knew when they might see home again. He wasn't in any rush to be her enemy any time soon.

The look he gives her was full of sadness and regret. He would regret losing her compassion for him if she ever did realize just how deep this darkness, this hurt that grew like a cancer, ran. It had scared his family. One day it might even scare her too.

He reaches out, running his fingers through the ends of her hair. They had finally come together and already he was worrying about the day when they might come apart all over again. He'd probably never stop worrying about when that day might come.

She knows that it might not have gone smoothly if she'd shown up with Kylo Ren in tow after the Resistance had been chased for two days by the bulk of the First Order. But she also had confidence that they would have been able to reach an understanding, and that the Resistance would see the value he would have as an ally rather than an enemy.

Maybe she had been naive, but she still has some small hope that that could one day be the future they face together. Them, together here, just stoked that flame.

She doesn't voice that however, exhaling and nodding her head at his observation. She knows that's not true, on some level it matters, because they don't know when things could change. But for now, here, everything that happened between them before could be less important than the now.

"We can let go of the past. Live here, in the moment."

"I'm sorry. We could be thinking about nicer things and I'm the one making you worry." He wasn't exactly good at thinking on things that made him happy. Even the smallest bit of happiness was too good to be true for him, after years of having to fight down any sentiment he felt out of fear of failing as his grandfather had failed. That sentiment hadn't saved him from his uncle and it hadn't helped him when he'd been faced with killing his own father. It had only left him in despair.

Yet Rey was a promise that things could be good. Rey was his only hope that he could move past his mistakes and his demons. Sighing, after he'd had enough of these thoughts swirling in his head, he leans into her to kiss her. He wanted to apologize for being how he is now. She deserved someone who could be happy and not worry about so many of the things he worried about. She deserved someone who hadn't made the mistakes he'd made.

"Being in the moment with you sounds nice. Better than how I usually spend my time." He reaches out for her again to bring them both close to one another. His thoughts had been heavy enough to make him weary and he would much prefer being able to think about how warm she was pressed up against him in bed.

Rey is used to worrying, the feeling of uncertainty gnawing in the pit of her stomach from one day to the next. With Ben that worry seems less severe, because while yes, she is worried, she doesn't know where this will go or how it may end, she also feels an odd sense of peace. She's experienced very little peace in her life, and being with him filled her with warmth.

She kisses him again after he pulls her close, her hands sliding up to gently cup his face.

"I'm glad you're here with me." She doesn't know what it means for their galaxy if they're both here, it might not matter at all. But it could also change everything. Perhaps the galaxy would be better off, if they were both out of it.

"Me too. And this time I get to wake up to you actually here." The last time they'd done that he'd tried to crush her into the bed out of fear that he was being attacked in his sleep. It had been instinctive and now he knows he is perfectly safe with her.

His hands rest to her cheeks as well, marveling that he'd somehow managed to tie this woman to him so deeply that the thought of being without her caused him physical pain. She was beautiful and ferocious while also still being capable of showing him great kindness he often didn't deserve. She'd left her mark on him physically and emotionally without him meaning to let her.

Mindful about crushing her beneath him, he shifts to lay his head to her chest. Hearing her heartbeat was a soothing rhythm that he never got tired of. It meant this was real - that she was real. His arms wrap around her possessively as he relaxes, letting his eyes close.

"I derailed us a bit - if you want to tell me about other places you've been to." His words are hushed, muffled somewhat by him laying his face against her breast. He liked hearing about her adventures, knowing that she could see so much of this world without being afraid as she'd been afraid to leave Jakku. They could see this world together and neither of them would ever be alone again.

"Try not to attack me, this time," she replies with a sly smile. She knew that had been an accident, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to tease him about it. That had bothered her less than waking up in the morning in her tent without him there, after falling asleep with his warmth surrounding her. Like now.

His weight on her chest is oddly soothing, her hand shifting to both gently comb through his hair, sometimes drifting down to his back and up again. The motions feel right, if a little alien. She hums as she considers what to tell him, almost content to just sit here with her fingers playing in his hair.

"Before the Inquisition moved us here, we lived at Skyhold, which was an old castle in the middle of the mountains. It was beautiful there, but cold. On a clear day you could stand on the ramparts and see for miles." She misses Skyhold, sometimes, although she has grown to like Kirkwall a great deal. It had felt peaceful there, almost like Ahch-To. The history of the Gallows meant that sometimes she picked up dark things, just walking around.

"You're welcome to scar up the rest of my face if I ever do." He can feel the humor drifting through their connection and it leaves him feeling lighter as her emotions affect his. Everything about her was warm and light and left him feeling hope that had been so far out of his reach for so long.

Her hands combing through his hair and roaming his upper back also left him feeling content and maybe a little flush with desire for her to never stop touching him. He adjusts his arms, trying to get comfortable, and settles for leaving one of his hands flat on her stomach, within reach of hers should either want to lace their fingers together as they'd done so many times already.

"Mm." He hums in answer, listening but also feeling himself lulled into a restfulness by her touch, before asking, "I wonder - where do they come up with half of these names for places? Skyhold... Kirkwall... Amaranthine. I guess they might say the same about our home."

She doesn't feel entirely guilty for the scar marring his face, but when he tells her she could scar up the rest of his face there's an odd little bubble of guilt that settles in her stomach. It doesn't last long, though, so distracted by the feeling of him relaxing with her.

"They would. I've had a few people ask about Jakku. I have no idea why it's called Jakku. It's like a made up word. It just makes sense, once you assign it to something." She'd wondered about it, when she had been younger and felt her mind wandering in the dark of the cold nights. She spoke several languages, but most of the ones she spoke didn't have words that Jakku could have been rooted in. The ones that did, didn't exactly make sense. She'd given up, eventually. The first of many things that she gave up as her hard life began to chip away at her soul.

That's the past, now. Her stomach flutters a little at the feel of his hand pressed there, and after a moment of anxious flipping she reaches down to thread her fingers through his, her other hand remaining in his hair.

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