(open) I said "doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take?" I said "doctor, to relieve this belly ache"

[sangsues]

WHO: Étienne Guerinet Beaumanoir & the blessed souls who speak with him.
WHAT: an open post & introduction for Dr. Beaumanoir
WHEN: through April
WHERE: Kirkwall
NOTES: some gentle nsfw, also he is generally low-key terrible in generic Thedas ways (esp re: elves and mages) and is a tool for playing out hideous historical medicine.

OPEN PROMPTS.

1.

"Behold!" He takes a step back from a man whose cheeks look a little puffy, and whose eyes could be considered a little glazed over. "He may yet be reeling from his treatment, but before you stands a man cured of the worms that invested his jaw! He has been gifted with the virility of the templars, the soldiers who give up their lives to protect our lands from powers that would overwhelm so many of us. He stands before you yet a man, but tomorrow, and in the days that follow, he will be a hero!"

He grabs the man's hand, and holds his hand over his head, in a show of victory. The crowd cheers—

Doctor Beaumanoir's Dashing Dentures is written on a nearby poster.


2.
Healing wonders! Potions galore!
DR. BEAUMANOIR'S MEDICINAL ALMANAC.
HELP HIM HEAL YOU! Inquire within.

A handsome man stands; a doctor, a hero - and so much more.

"Can I help you?"

He smiles. It's extremely Dashing™.

Comments

COSIMA NIEHAUS - low-key terrible.

[sangsues]

He's just finished with a patient when he spots her. The client is high brow, encrusted with jewels not usually seen in lowtown, and accompanied by a considerable bodyguard. "Now, my Lord, I insist. When next you desire a consultation you need only send a message to me, and I will attend with all due haste."

There is a general exchange of words, reassurances, and both of them seem satisfied by the exchange. His smile turns a shade lascivious, and he leans against the table she's looking over, hand sliding down her back - settling just low enough to be distinctly improper.

"Back so soon?"

[youwonscience]

Cosima isn't a jumpy person, exactly, but she was not expecting to be touched by a random stranger, and she jerks away from him. "Wow, what the fuck, dude?" she asks, more flustered than angry (yet). At this close range, it's not only her hair and accent, but her whole demeanor that is unlike her sister's.

(In her defense, Sarah's only been in Thedas a few weeks, and Cosima's gotten out of the habit of thinking about potential clone mix-ups. She'll probably get there in a moment.)

[sangsues]

At least his hand had not strayed entirely southward. His brows raise, though it’s shcoked so much as amused surprise. His accent, Orlesian, plays over his words, gives them a certain emphasis. “My dear, there is no need to be coy.”

Although he takes in the accent, the hair— “unless this is some... role play, hm?”

Dude, indeed.

[youwonscience]

"Nope, no, definitely not that." She steps away, putting some healthy space between him and her, but then:

"Oh, shit, the person you're thinking of... looks like me, but sounds kind of like she's from Ferelden?"

She is almost positive he's not mistaking her for Helena. She is initially torn between Sarah, why and Sarah you can do better.

[sangsues]

His eyes narrow very briefly. The way she moves has changed.

“Yes,” he replies, rather slowly. “And rather more friendly.”

[youwonscience]

"Yeah, that's my sister. You and I haven't met." And what a memorable first meeting this is turning out to be. She is aggressively not thinking about the context in which he and Sarah might or might not have discussed roleplay.

"I'm Cosima." Her manner is guarded but neutral -- of course he's going to apologize, obviously.

[sangsues]

"Cosima, a pleasure," he says, as if this were not at all awkward, and inclines his head in a bow. "I am Doctor Beaumanoir."

Is an apology forthcoming?

Eventually, probably. Maybe. "What brings you here today?"

[youwonscience]

O...kay.

"Uh, shopping. The thing you usually do in a marketplace. You?" Knowing Sarah, it probably doesn't matter if Cosima is outright rude or not, but on the off-chance she actually cares about Beaumanoir's good opinion, Cosima will stop short of casting aspersions on his medical skills or entirely disengaging.

On the other hand, is it any of his business what she's buying? She remains unconvinced.

[sangsues]

He smiles, the smile of someone not easily put off, and who is very aware his smile is quite charming. Smiling in the face of her manners seems the better tack.

"A momentary break from providing my own services," and he nods to the stall not so very far away, being supervised by a couple of staff while he's away.

Helpfully, he has a business card of sorts to hand, one of the posters advertising DOCTOR BEAUMANOIR'S MEDICINAL ALMANAC, with information on some of the offered medicines. Dentures! Healing Potions! Bezoars! Tonics for skin and hair and stoutness of heart! And so on.

[youwonscience]

Her eyebrows climb a bit as she peruses the poster. "I see." She doesn't sound especially charmed. "I hope the tonics for skin, hair and 'stoutness of heart' are at least different tonics."

It's only halfway a joke.

[sangsues]

"The tonic that best suits and the ailments it best suits vary patient to patient. If they should happen to aid with more than one trouble or inadvertently assist the patient with another matter that is troubling them..."

He spreads his hands - so be it, but in a self-congratulatory way. Suffice to say, at least some of them totally aren't different tonics.

"I wonder, have you consulted with anyone concerning your eyesight?" Perhaps if she had better eyesight she would be charmed. But also girl, glasses? Gauche af. This is the Dragon Age, not the Glory Age, dang.

[youwonscience]

"Uhuh. What's in these tonics?" She doesn't bother replying to the question about her eyesight; if standard healing could have fixed it, she assumes she'd know it by now, and this guy doesn't really radiate serious medical expert.

[sangsues]

"Madam, please," gurl, "you cannot expect me to give up the secrets of my medicines. The formulas are ones of my own crafting."

Make up your own freaky tonics.

[youwonscience]

"Yeah, that's totally how medicine works." You'd love big pharma, Etienne. "Hard pass on ingesting anything where the ingredient list is secret."

If Thedas wants to invent the fantasy FDA, call her.

"So I guess I don't have to ask how you met Sarah."

[sangsues]

"Isn't that how everything works?"

Way to be a square and a buzzkill, Cosmo.

Ah, but he grins. It's a terrible grin. "It was a meeting of minds."

[youwonscience]

She doesn't say gross, but her face sort of does.

"I see." Cosima doesn't entirely want to continue talking to this dude who is certainly not a doctor at all, but for Sarah's sake, she adds, "It's nice having family here. You know, someone to watch your back."

[sangsues]

"I'm an only child," he replies, with a lackadaisical shrug, "but I had a wonderful time watching Sarah's back."

[youwonscience]

cool cool cool

"Alright, so, you probably want to get back to your stall, but I'll tell Sarah we ran into each other when I see her."

It was nice to meet you is a little more than she can manage.

[sangsues]

“As you say,” he says, but before he departs, the good doctor takes her hand and kisses her knuckles. Then he sweeps away.

“Adieu, Cosima.”