Entry tags:
[ CLOSED ]
WHO: Iorveth, Thranduil and Gwen
WHAT: Arguing, naked people
WHEN: Directly after this.
WHERE: The Gallows, Thranduil's office
NOTES: Bad words and life choices, also Gwen's boobs.
WHAT: Arguing, naked people
WHEN: Directly after this.
WHERE: The Gallows, Thranduil's office
NOTES: Bad words and life choices, also Gwen's boobs.
[ Thankfully, no Templars get in Iorveth's face on the way to Thranduil's office, and he makes it to the door with no blood on his hands. However, he's no less enraged, paranoid, and ready to bolt from this shithole of a city, possibly without a left hand, thanks, Casimir.
Or possibly with all the left hands of all the Rifters. He really shouldn't have mentioned that part.
Shoving the door open, Iorveth marches in looking entirely like the officer that carved vengeance out of men's bodies, claimed trophies from human officers, and burned men alive. There hasn't yet really been cause for him to get so up in arms, until another set of foreign negotiations made rules over his will. It compounds - the thoughts he'd had in wondering what the consequences to telling the Inquisition 'no' would be, how long the Inquisition's insignia will keep him from being cornered into an alienage as well, all the people standing still while things something disgusting occurs and calling it civility, or politics.
It makes his skin crawl. So here he is, because Thranduil called, and somehow he has the respect to obey that when very few else would win it, but today that's been pushed too. ]
What?

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[ Spoken distracted, with the same wry humor he tends to carry in most of his words. There's not much telling when Thranduil will be back, and Iorveth would rather have what he needs and be gone before he makes it back. And promptly walks in on him snooping around with his half naked... whatever she is to him. Fellow rifter, at least, if the shard in her hand is enough to go by.
He pauses halfway through rummaging in a drawer, casting a considering look back to the girl. She seemed angry enough when the door opened and she thought her lover had returned. Welp, he's always been a terrible liar so why not. ]
Notes on negotiations made on my behalf by nuns and crusaders of a god I do not follow.
[ the chantry part is really a good piece of what pisses him off, but absolutely not the only one. ]
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she fears for thranduil. and she's not stupid: one shard may be very like another. perhaps rifters who might pass among them would try to. perhaps all those who bear shards ought to be so bound. she doesn't know iorveth thinks her a rifter, now, but why shouldn't he?
to those who don't know her face, her name...there are more rifters bearing anchor-shards than thedosians. )
Which it does not. In the way that it once did. And if he weren't out here trying to prove a fucking point for the sake of his fucking pride, then he would see that there are other ways to slow this down that don't involve rolling up a damned sleeve—
( gwenaëlle counts backwards from ten in her head. don't yell all the things at iorveth you want to yell at thranduil, you'll run out of steam before you've even got to the good stuff. she flutters her hands at him away from the drawer, searching herself, though she's somewhat resigned to the fact he is much larger than she is and clearly indifferent to privacy, and it's entirely possible he will just start looking in a different cabinet.
(the longer he's in the room, the more it's apparent that it's shared—even if she isn't here on a permanent basis yet, enough of her time and belongings are here to leave a mark, to speak to intimacy and comforts.) )
Frankly, the only shocking part is that none of you were ever killed on sight when the arrivals began, violent strangers falling out of rifts alongside demons. They handled it clumsily. This is an attempt to regain some semblance of control—the appearance of it.
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You say hard, but aren't Chantry clergy mainly women? [ mothers and divines and whatever whatever, he's not from here, okay, he doesn't know this shit. okay, but logistics of religious wanking aside - ] Who was it, then? Templars lubing up to plough the rest of us into submission? If they had to let their mages run free, they assumed shiny Rifters were the next best thing to subjugate?
[ it's be nice to know which group exactly is wanting his bodily fluids so bad they're trying to turn it into divine law. and, yes, when she flutters him away from one drawer, he absolutely goes to the next cabinet to continue digging. ]
Prove what point, that we're harmless? Would he like us to move all rifter quarters to the alienage while we're at it?
[ and let's not even start talking about his feelings on the alienage, because we will be 80% to a riot by the time Thranduil wanders himself back to find his nearly naked wife and new adopted extremist else cussing about dumb cunts. ]
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marriage doesn't have to be unromantic. it turns out. )
No, Thranduil can't be one moment castigating mages for their selfishness and then turn around and behave in precisely the same fucking fashion, that's what it is, and which could have been avoided as a problem entirely by taking their part in the first place, you know, but no—
( that gwenaëlle didn't lift a finger on their behalf either is a pretty bit of hypocrisy that she ignores, because it suits her to ignore it, like most things on which she's a hypocrite. she didn't act against them, either, and is less sure her husband can say the same. )
But it's more than that. Templars, mages, the Chantry—we're not just talking about that. Kirkwall isn't just Templars, mages, and the Chantry. Neither is the rest of Thedas. And rifters might as well be demons to most of Thedas, for all they know you. An independent military answerable to all and none, harboring literally every kind of criminal, and probably demons besides, this is about the Inquisition's credibility.
And if they weren't so fucking incompetent, they might have more, and have been strong enough not to need the concessions. The only bloody people in the world trying to do something about the end of it, and that's the best that can be managed. They kept that frigid cunt on the Orlesian throne and does she make herself useful, no.
( hashtag still mad celene's not dead. then, circling back, because it's important that her multilayered crude digs are properly appreciated: )
And all the women who'd have been relevant are dead, it's grasping bureaucrats now. ( men fill the least important roles in the chantry; she did not misspeak, merely means to insinuate everything left is the least of it. a charming young woman by any measure. )
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Gwen is rattling off information near faster than Iorveth can take note of it, and while he might have originally thought what the absolute fuck brought this girl and Thranduil together, he's starting to see the appeal. She's honest, painfully so, with no shy bone in her about it. Perhaps he found something useful in the room after all.
It's the part about why Thranduil is making such a fuss, however, that had iorveth's eyes snapping back to her across the room. Which means he also spots her shaking the paper at him, Iorveth commenting as he paces over to read the page over her shoulder. ]
Selfish. Really? Over the phylacteries? [ he snorts, shaking his head before reaching out to turn the page she has over, inspecting the opposite side. ] Only one who's never been hunted would say as much.
[ conveniently, just then, Thranduil's bellowing voice from the hallway beyond his room filters through, with something about seven thousand years and king of elves. Iorveth pauses, long enough to glance up at Gwen pointedly, brow raised. ] Or royalty.
[ not cool, super elf, not cool. But that's neither here nor there, according to Gwen's telling of it. It's the Inquisition and their struggle to remain autonomous among bickering fools, unconcerned about the apocalypse creeping up on them. ]
Perhaps the mages had the right of it. Take the entire Inquisition on strike. Let the Lords and bureaucrates see how they fair again the demon horde on their own.
[ maybe that's cruel. Maybe he doesn't care. ] Worst case scenario, our enemy frees us of some annoyances, and we get a short vacation.
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The mages, ( instead of commenting on billowy cloak king of yell, ) had a goal, a plan, and negotiators.
( her left hand, bearing the shard, clenches briefly on the pages clutched in it—she releases that, makes herself do it, doesn't think on the things she is acutely aware of, like that the fact of rifters are almost certainly why the issue of rift closures and inquisition membership has never been forced with her. it's precisely what makes all of this so pertinent—
rifters that come and go like shifting wind, useful but mistrusted. quick to assume, she's seen, and slower to understand. that will not serve if they mean to bargain; they will lose if they don't take the time to be wise about it, and in more than two years, gwenaëlle has seen little to make her optimistic about rifters acting in concert. some few are bright enough, driven enough, goal-oriented enough; not enough.
she must speak with araceli, she thinks. )
I wonder if there's a head-count of how many shard-bearers within the Inquisition are Thedosian, ( is not an unrelated thought. dangerously easy to undermine, if it's a high number. )
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And should we get negotiators, what minority left is there to pass the shackles onto next? [ Iorveth says flatly, ] Perhaps we should wrangle in some Dalish for it. Native heretics make excellent sacrifices.
[ That is a Joke, they are absolutely not scape-goating the dalish, let alone anyone else, and Iorveth doesn't honestly believe that was the sole intention in passing this on to the Rifters. Perhaps some didn't find much objection to it when it was proposed, though. But such is the way of things. People are gross. Sighing, Iorveth reaches to dig in one of the leather pouches at his hip, pulling out a small notebook as he starts to jot down some scribbles in a foreign language, glancing from the notes Gwen holds, and back to his writing, idly running commentary. ] In a hundred years, I've yet to see a diplomatic meeting of humans meant for negotiation resolved without at least one set of unfortunates ruined for it.
[ He'd been within that group of unfortunates several times. enough that everything about this situation makes his skin crawl and gives volume to the voice in the back of his mind saying run. ]
Inessa had mentioned the shards embedded in natives are often unstable. Sometimes fatal. [ It takes leverage away from Rifters if the Inquisition is able to make their own rifters, but if it were so reliable a thing, wouldn't it have already been tried often enough? A beat, and he watches her a moment, running back through the conversation thus far. ] Is that what you are?
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( the time delay on that was not what it would be, for the rest. it is what it is. and it's better than gwenaëlle taking breath to speak on the fucking dalish, because—
because she had the chance to do something monstrous and she knew better, even if blood screaming for retribution didn't want to. and she needs to remember she knew better. she is not exempt from all of this, from knowing better than to tear themselves apart from the inside out when the outside is plenty ready to take advantage of the chaos. she understands thranduil's reticence on these matters, but
but. iorveth isn't wrong about the limitations and risks of negotiating. nor is anyone else wrong that no matter what they do, negotiating is where they'll end up, and their position is stronger if they're smarter before they get there.
after a moment, )
Yes, that's what I am. It's rare, I think. Accidental—a fade rift derailed the carriage I was traveling in, there weren't a great many survivors. And I had a anchor-shard, at the end of it.
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[ Iorveth voices, after a time of silence, thinking on the odds of that happening just so. A rift at the exact moment a carriage passes, holding the exact woman of a rare few capable of holding a shard, and she ends up one of the few to live. He isn't so religious in the ways the Chantry followers, but there's a spirituality in Aen Seidhe culture, in all of them. The take away, otherwise, is that the Inquisition cannot make their own Rifters. He takes note of that too.
And once the two of them are done pouring over the notes Thranduil did not do a splendid job of hiding, all that's left is to wait, Gwen quietly fuming at the edge of the bed, Iorveth leaned against a dresser with his arms crossed, staring at a far well. Also fuming. You know what really makes times like these such a little less? ] Want to smoke?
[ about forty or so minutes later, they're still in the same room, Gwen still in Thranduil's robe, and Iorveth with his typical headscarf replaced with a silken, silver pillow case instead, half of it flopped back, oddly reminiscent of a certain elf lord's hair. his weapons have been discarded somewhere to the side, along with the heavy chainmail and leather armor worn over top of his typical garb.
Walking into the room, the first thing that hits the sense is the overwhelming scent of weed. Iorveth can be seen on the floor, flopped on a bunch of pillows, snickering like a school girl, with Gwen standing up, straight backed and imperial looking. ]
Do the twirl again! Do the twirl!
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if they attempt to take blood from galadriel, there will be a massacre. if they hang it over the head of iorveth, there will be a massacre. if bronach is afraid, she will flee from kirkwall and die in some bower before allowing herself to be enslaved. they are his, all of them, and he will do what he must to keep them safe.
(you can take the king out of elvenking but what you have left over is still ancient and dangerous.)
he hears them before he sees them, sees gwenaëlle finish her spin with his circlet upon her head and makes sure the door to his office is closed and barred before he lingers in the doorway.
that is the smell of pipeweed.
somehow, this crisis seems far more manageable than the one he just left. ]
I was gone but an hour, [ he complains, ] and I return to you, and you up to-- this.
[ where is leviathan. where is hardie. why is this his life. ]
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but when Thranduil speaks up, its like being caught by dad with your hand in the liquor cabinet, and iorveth jumps some, before dissolving into another bought of laughter. hanging his head backwards over the pile of pillows he's made his throne, he offers a gift: ]
Only an hour, meaning there's still time to catch up.
[ the gift is the weed pipe. with pipeweed in it. just for you, booboo. ]
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she tucks the robe conscientiously. possibly she has been obliged to do so several times already, that it's so thoughtless a gesture to tug it closed again. )
Hello, darling,
( blithely, )
Is anything on fire?
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he offers it back to iorveth. ]
Not yet, my love, [ two can play at this game. at least kylo ren didn't also come up here and stumble upon gwen and gwen's breasts. only iorveth.
which is its own set of problems. he holds his hands out for leviathan, who is definitely having the time of his little nug life, but all good things must end. ]
What are your thoughts on revolution?
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Commander Nugithan will be leading the charge on chicken-back. [ Iorveth helpfully answers for the critter that he probably spent ten minutes trying to have a conversation with not terribly long ago. ]
We're going to need you to acquire the Commander some Templar flags to heretically burn, if you please.
[ 'heretically' is not a word, shut up, Iorveth. ]
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You know, the bird is bigger than Hardie, and he manages Hardie's back, it's perfect.
( so their feelings are 'enthusiastic', if hazy from iorveth's pipe. the circlet comes askew as she follows the nug forward into thranduil's arms, looping hers around his waist. )
Are we revolting? I'm prepared to reconsider how vexed I am with you.
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[ gwenaëlle, then. he uses the toe of his slipper to gently prod at iorveth, somewhere around his ribcage, rather than say 'move you great big high lump, I too wish to sit'. no. only prodding.
leviathan he sets down onto the bed very gently, and he cups gwenaëlle's face in his hands, looking down at her. ]
Possibly. I am ever prepared to graciously accept surrender.
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the circlet very slowly sliding down the back of her head. )
I don't want anyone to have your blood, Thranduil.
( judiciously, ) Except me.
( she has no need of or purpose for his blood. that she has thought writing her name on him with a knife is irrelevant, and only fantasy. even so, the pedant's impulse is ever-present. and then, )
I think I like Iorveth exactly the right amount for someone I wasn't warned would be there in anything like time enough—
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Had I known, I'd have knocked.
[ said like it's been announced several times already. he'd have knocked, but he'd have also still broken in, that part was not up for negotiation. thranduil may also find his notes from the negotiations spread out on one of the dressers not far away, as the two of them have already thoroughly gone through them, sober and high. ]
You ought to know, [ thranduil ] I had several offers of assistance in revolution and denied all of them in favor of appeasing your demands for my presence. It was extremely difficult for me.
[ because he loves revolution, it's his favorite. given he's broke into this office twice now, it's entirely feasible he could've broke himself out before thranduil's return, so appreciate him, okay? ]
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This, [ he says, and it too gets placed on the bed. leviathan noses at it. ] is irreparable and you will need it in one piece if you intend to perform your twirling again. And- you like him very much, given that he is still here.
[ the room is a mess. there was very obviously snooping and he will need to check his real hiding places later to make sure they did not stumble upon anything by accident-- not that there's much to hide, what kind of fool hides seditious documents in their own bedroom?
he leaves one hand to stroke through gwenaëlle's hair and uses the other to cup iorveth's face, thumb brushing his jaw through the bandanna. and the pillowcase. both of them are very very good at innovating, but did it really need to be at his expense? ]
You would not refuse me. I knew that. [ he leans forward, his forehead pressing against iorveth, the briefest of elven embraces before he draws back. ] You have my thanks.
[ thranduil scoffs, and shifts his shoulders to compensate for sitting on a robe he cannot remove while seated, determined to give himself a bit more freedom of movement. ]
It is my blood.
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Everything that's yours is mine, ( is instead muttered obstinately, of thranduil's blood, tangling her fingers loose enough in his hair at his back to suggest the spectre of her fist, pulling, without quite following through.
they do still have company. interesting company. )
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Made all the more odd when there's suddenly a hand on his face (the bandanna doesn't cover his jaw), thranduil's hand, it seems, as it came from his right/blind side, and that's where he let Thranduil plop down, assuming the man wouldn't take advantage and stab him in the side. well, it wasn't that he did, at least, and Iorveth isn't taking nearly the kind of offense to it that he would a knife in his ribs, but he is deeply, deeply confused. the first reaction is a short jolt of surprise, completely forgetting what was said directly before the contact, and once the man leans in to press his forehead to him, Iorveth freezes up, still as stone.
most people do not end up this close to his face, unless they're either fucking him or fighting him, and neither of those things are occurring right now, nor does he expect them to. because, again, the naked woman sitting in his lap and touching all up on his hair and — he's not sure if this feels strange because he's high, or if it's just, actually, strange. ]
The two of you, you're...? [ Lovers? Really handsy friends? Married? That's a question, please answer. And a follow up — ] And why the need for secrecy with it?
[ Even intoxicated, he remembers that well enough, that Gwen had mentioned not many people know, and it seemed easy enough to piece together that that is the intention. ]
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[ as far as the importance goes, that one is the very last. after a moment, and as an addendum, this directly to iorveth, with accompanying hand gestures: ] The Dalish would loathe me for it, too, as the children of the elves and the Men of my world are as yours—mostly. None of this elfblooded stupidity.
[ another really good sign that something is very very wrong with thedas. he waves this off as well. ]
The elves here are… children, though I think many would prefer that I had taken a wife of that kind. [ more suitable to being parented then partnered, though he loves them dearly. ] And I am not so mercenary as to arrange a match for the sake of breeding back long-life alone.
[ the idea is… deplorable. like unto the creation of the orcs, but he will not speak of that in the safety of his rooms.
to gwenaëlle, and as solemnly as he can manage through the haze of smoke and drink and the after-affects of adrenaline. ] I do not think I will be attending Arlathven, my love. Better to beat them over the head with us to show how well assimilated and unlike a criminal I am.
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it is exhausting being her. she leans her cheek against his temple, her robe fallen open again but exposing little when she's tucked so close; hidden by the bulk of her husband. )
If you aren't going, we don't need to keep any more secrets, ( after a moment's more thought, asiding to iorveth, ) My lord wanted me a duchess or something stupid. Well, now everyone knows he got me on his housekeeper, I won't even be the Comtesse, so what it all fucking matters I'm sure I don't know.
( she doesn't think thranduil's serious, but he oughtn't test his impulsive bride. )
And what business it is of the Dalish who you're fucking, either, for that matter.
( no, she knows. )
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there's some vague nodding besides, as he looks very pensive taking another puff of the weed pipe, and tries not to think about gwen's naked thigh being half on his chest now for how snuggly they're all sitting, or, in his case, lounging, together. ]
Has it been actually requested of you to breed back long-life? [ something Iorveth catches on, squinting, because that sounds creepy as all fuck, let alone the Dalish having any say on who a Rifter should wed, even if they're an important and well-respected Rifter. the trappings of nobility and political marriages have never meant anything to Iorveth, a child born in a slum, raised underfoot and hungry most days.
that said, he's struggling to keep up with all that Gwen goes into, eventually puzzling out that it has something to do with her father wanting to breed her to his advantage as well, and didn't appreciate the fact she's wed to the king of an ancient nation. welp. ]
You seem to have done much better than a duke or wealthy merchant. [ He tells Gwen, voice earnest and frank, because he's a horrible liar, and has never been good at giving filtered opinions besides. ] Your father should be groveling for the forgiveness of you both.
As for the Dalish, [ Thranduil, ] you aren't their whore, and they make themselves no different from the human nobles they despise by trying to shame you into being one. Announce your wife, and go to Arlathven, if for nothing more than my own amusement to see them turn away a seven-thousand year old elven king.
[ that sentence ended with some snickering, because it's hilariously likely to happen and people are so fucking stupid he can't handle it most days. by the way, you are not a quiet arguer. ]
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[ he keeps gwenaëlle close, and rubs apologetic circles into the dip of her spine. the other hand—he rests it on iorveth’s arm. just because it’s there. ]
The Dalish are not asking it of me. It was only an errant comment from one or two, but my credibility will be much injured if I present myself with my Mannish wife and no children to prove the claims I will make. [ he is not, under any circumstances, going to bring up the breed them out of existence problem. ] No, [ and he shakes his head. ] I will not burn that bridge by pretending I am—worth their time by virtue of my claims. What proof have I of my age? What does the crown I held in Arda matter to the Dalish? Can they eat it? Can they use it to raise and command an army? Will it keep their children safe? No.
Arlathven does not matter. What matters now is preventing a slaughter of the Rifters, which will occur if they attempt to make phylacteries from those unwilling to allow it.
[ he gestures for the pipe and takes another drag. after giving it back— ]
Coupe heard through her door. I assume you did as well.
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