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(closed) I want to be the one to walk in the sun
WHO: Clone Club
WHAT: sisters' night in
WHEN: nowish?
WHERE: Sarah & Helena's room
NOTES: language, potentially weird science and Helena standard warnings
WHAT: sisters' night in
WHEN: nowish?
WHERE: Sarah & Helena's room
NOTES: language, potentially weird science and Helena standard warnings
( It was good idea. True, they were not having nail polishes yet - she and Cosima had not had success with this project.
The room is carefully laid out. She and Sarah's beds are on opposite sides, and on the wall with the window, a giant teddy bear is propped, with a blanket strewn across its legs. Helena has been sleeping on the bear rather than on her bed, because it is special and Sarah got it for her, and it smells good. Her bed, by contrast, is currently the resting place for many snacks, and the broken crate they had been in when they fell through the rift is more broken, now, some of it on the floor at the end of her bed, other parts shoved haphazardly under her bed.
(She has tried to tidy it up, partly for Sarah's sake, but something about her space still radiates nest rather than human residence.)
On the floor there are some cushions, lots of food (every type of peanut candy snack imaginable, almost, along with the weird and alarming combinations Helena thinks are delicious), candles are lit around the room (some precariously dripping wax) and a couple of wine and whiskey bottles. Alongside her, as well, is a sack. She has been protecting it fiercely. )
Come in, sestras. Have seats.
( She is trying really hard, guys. Like, so so hard. Look what a good normal sister event this is.
Helena, herself, is sitting cross legged on a cushion on the floor, hair as wildly messy as always, though she self-consciously smoothes down her shirt. This is good. They will discuss good things and feelings and eat much sugar. )
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Do I look good?
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Oh wow. It's. Um. Summer now? But it was really nice of you to get us gifts.
[The season is not exactly the problem, but she really is trying.]
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You look most beautiful, Sarah.
( She shoves another couple of peanut butter cups in her mouth as she looks over to Cosima, and smiles again, albeit now with a bit of chocolate at the corner of her mouth. )
Good to be ready for winters. I hear Kirkwall weather sometimes strange.
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[ Sarah says it without any real feeling in any direction. She tugs the hat down on her head so the bear's nose and eyes cover her own forehead, looks over at Cosima, and waggles her eyebrows. ]
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I mean, it's fair, it is strange sometimes.
[She exhales, then says gently to Helena,] It was really thoughtful for you to get us gifts. Thank you. I generally don't eat or wear animals, but if it's okay I'll keep it in my room, to remind me of how kind you were to bring them for Sarah and me.
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Very very warily, ) Is okay.
( The concept of vegetarianism isn't totally foreign to her, but it is bewildering. Why turn down any source of food, when bellies can so easily be left hungry? That isn't the thought she gives voice to, at least not immediately, as she leans closer and squeezes Cosima's upper arm, feeling for muscle. )
You are not strong enough to wear metal plates. If you are not wearing leather, then you will never have armours.
( A look to Sarah, for confirmation, for support in this reasonable statement. ) Yes?
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[ Sarah is not sure how to answer that, and she takes the time to carefully unwrap a peanut butter cup while she tries to come up with an answer that's going to satisfy Helena and not insult anybody. Then, instead of eating it, she puts it onto the floor next to her. ]
I don't think Cosima's going to need to wear armor, but you can be strong and a vegetarian at the same time. You just need to get your protein from nuts and quinoa and shit.
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[Probably not the audience for a Star Trek joke.]
1/2
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( Slowly, suspiciously, and not without the concern that this is going to just get dismissed by her strange, noodle-armed science sister and her defensive less-noodly-but-still-useless-fighter twin. )
Most things, they do not care if you are not fighter. They come, they attack.
( And, to Sarah: ) You are flimsy, too. ( HONESTLY. )
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Hey, I do alright for myself.
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I'd like that, if you wanted. I'm not... I don't want to kill anyone. But I wouldn't mind getting better at defending myself.
[She still occasionally thinks of that guard, with Jaime and Lexa. Cosima didn't hold the knife herself, but it was close enough.
After a moment:]
I'm already learning to get better at escaping. Climbing, jumping, that kind of stuff.
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( A nod to Cosima, determined, and it looks like she's about to continue speaking, when instead
she tosses a peanut butter cup at Sarah, and swings around a knife in her hand to press against Sarah's abdomen. She's careful, though, is holding the blade in her hand so that the handle is harmlessly digging into Sarah's skin, if she succeeds.
Doing alright, sestra? )
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She trusts Helena—of course she does. Except she's seen Helena be unpredictable and scary so many times by now, and after all, Helena did leave her in the Castor camp, didn't she? The two of them have always had a rather violent, volatile relationship, and even if she trusts Helena not to hurt her (really hurt her, anyway) it's not like she hasn't had guns and knives pulled on her before, and she has to take a deep, collecting breath before she speaks. ]
Don't do that again.
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...holy shit, [she breathes out after a moment, hearing her heart thudding in her ears.
Sarah frightened is not helping Cosima be less so, especially when the fragile relationship Cosima is building with Helena is built on a foundation of Sarah's assurances.]
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Easing back, lesson executed rather than immediately grasping Sarah and Cosima's concern, Helena registers the expression on both their faces. They are familiar faces, scared, like Sarah when she was pretending to be Beth and Helena held the knife over her, or the girl in the Church from when she was so many years younger. Fourteen, fifteen, she barely remembers, when the copies were devils to be destroyed, and not family. )
It was lesson. ( Stilted, uncomfortable as she takes in the way they are both looking at her, a horror that has echoes of how the Gracie girl looked at her, fear and disgust and maybe anger, also. )
You are both slow. ( They needed to see they are slow. Slow to protect and defend, whether themselves or others. )
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It's alright. [ This is offered to Cosima rather than Helena. She won't murder us here surrounded by peanut butter cups instead of Fantastic prank, Helena, and it's clear in her tone. Then, to Helena: ] Yeah, sorry for assuming this would be a knife-free event. Christ.
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I already know I'm not much use in a fight. Thedas is a bit more, um. High-impact than home.
[After a moment, she takes off her half-gloves and lightly taps her anchor shard.]
Some people can tap into these. To fight, or to shield. We haven't figured out how to jump-start that on purpose yet, but I've been studying it.
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The knife, if they take a moment to look, might be familiar. The flying fish blade, that came with her through the rift, along with her wedding dress and parka. She twists the knife in her hand, and sets it awkwardly on the floor, as she looks at the glowing shard in Cosima's hand, holding up her own hand. The skin is rougher and more callused than Cosima's, the nails bitten down to nothing.
So much is the same and so much is different. Cosima doesn't seem to have the ragged edges that she and Sarah share. Those ragged edges are what help them knit together, but they are the result of many turns, and being torn apart when they should have been together. )
I study, also. Watchings.
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So have you done it? Used yours?
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[Cosima almost reaches for the gloves again, habit, but then decides to leave them off.]
I haven't been encouraged to do a lot of field work recently. The last time went kind of bad, which totally was not my fault, but as Helena said, I'm not much use when actual fighting breaks out. Keep the geek in the lab, I think is the idea.
[She's sure she could volunteer for more field missions, if she wanted. But she hasn't done that.]
And no progress with trying to trigger the shard under lab conditions, so far. We'll see. People who've been here less time than me have done it, so it's not purely duration.
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I do study.
( So quiet as to be barely audible, as she doesn't look at Sarah, and not at Cosima either. Sarah's favourite sister, the one who does not try to teach her about knives and defence, who froze up just like Sarah did.
But it is fine. She will keep Sarah safe, and she will keep the soft favourite safe. And she is not jealous! She is not.
(She is, extremely, and unreasonably. And that is why she is now being silent, and shoving peanut butter candies into her face.) )
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Maybe it's got to do with emotion. Channeling it, or something. That'd be hard to do in a lab, yeah?
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[A pause, then to Helena:]
You may do better than me, observing, if you're out in the field more. Sometimes you need good fieldwork to point the experiments in the lab the right way.
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( Ah, yes. Observe, outside her natural habitat, the Sulky Twin, an unpredictable creature.
She makes a quiet grunt. )
Maybes.
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She doesn't mean farming, she means doing work outside a lab, meathead. [ Then, to Cosima, ] Well, til someone figures it out, seems pretty pointless to try. I mean, we've got swords and arrows and shit like that, anyway. [ Who needs weird magic!!! ]
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So as long as I'm here, I thought, might as well try to help.
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Helena perks up a little at that and, after considering for a long moment, fishes out a box of peanut butter cookies, and gently nudges them towards Cosima. )
Is good thought.
( Quietly, perhaps bordering on the realms of sheepish. Maybe. )
What if all three of us are trying to work out? More minds thinking could be good. I can try this... fieldworks.