Oh, you're acting your thin disguise

[arlathvhen]

WHO: Beleth and YOU.
WHAT: Beleth is back from the Fallow Mire, trying to deal with some things, trying to ignore other things.
WHEN: Before people go off on their war table missions
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Nothing so far, will edit if necessary.

Tavern

Beleth has made the decision that she needs to have copious amounts of alcohol before attempting to take on the confrontation that she has planned. Liquid courage, right? So, she takes a seat in the tavern, keeping her eyes glued to the bar, and works her way through a pint. It occurs to her, as she orders another one, that she has been doing an incredible amount of drinking lately. Far more than she had before she'd made her way to Skyhold with her clan.

Well, they were her clan, for now. Would they still call her clanmate, when those who would leave the clan finally admitted it? Would she call them clanmate? She knew it was a risk--one of the reasons she had come to Skyhold, after all, was hoping that she'd be able to persuade them otherwise. But she saw some of them, intermingling with the humans, so quick to adapt to the humans and their culture that they should just remove their vallaslin and nock their ears already.

Shit. She'd been trying to avoid thinking about what she was drinking for. And now she just wanted to drink more. She starts on the second pint with relish.

Stables

"I think you're my favorite living creature in this place."

The wild hart took this declaration in stride, chewing on the grass in its trough. Beleth followed up her statement with a laugh, shifting in her position on the side of his stall. The hart doesn't seem worried, even as Beleth reaches up and pets his neck.

"Do you have a name? I'm going to name you. How do you feel about Da'Assan? Little Arrow. For someone quick, and fleet of foot."

The hart snorts in reply, chewing contently.

"I'm taking that as agreement."

Library

Anyone who had been in the kitchen in the last few days might have heard grumbling from the cook about loaves of bread going mysteriously missing, with no one around to blame it on. A possible bread-obsessed ghost haunting Skyhold? Spooky.

Meanwhile, in the library, Beleth is enjoying a warm loaf of bread, and appreciating the fruits of having set up a little camp right above the rear entrance of the kitchen. Curled up in a chair in little alcove, she chews on the bread, while flipping through a book by some guy named Genitivi, documenting various parts of the world she'd never even heard of.

If she was going to learn how to sweet talk people, she had to expand her knowledge of the world in general. Especially if she met anyone from these particular places. Zevran would be pretty pleased, she thinks.

One thing she'd already discovered--There had been an Inquisition before this one. And quite frankly...she found what Genitivi had to say about them pretty sketchy. It made her worry--the Inquisition was supposed to be saving the world from Corypheus. Not leading another exalted march. Just what were the Inquisiton's intentions, after Corypheus?

Comments

[kremdelacreme]

When Beleth approached him, he was immediately wary. Surely nothing good could come from the look on her face. He wanted to ask what was wrong, but before he could get the words out, she was looking away from him and words were spilling out and he almost wanted to put a hand over her mouth to stem the flow. He glanced up when she did though, and he didn't know whether he should be worried or not that she wanted to speak with him alone.

Still, he couldn't just say no, and he stood, gesturing toward the stairs. "After you then," he said quietly, letting her lead the way. He had a feeling that the upper floor would be vacant when they got there.

[arlathvhen]

He agreed. He didn't look thrilled, but he agreed. She could hardly blame him--It's not like she was looking forward to it, either. But life was a series of doing things you didn't want to because they were necessary, and Krem deserved an apology. So she nodded, and led him up to the third floor.

She liked it up here. It was quiet, peaceful. Skyhold and the clan were similar in their business, people always around, talking and carrying on work. But in the clan, if you needed a few moments of peace and quiet, you could take a friend (or a twin) and wander off into the forest. It was hard to find any place that wasn't occupied in Skyhold, unless you felt like wandering out into the mountain.

She didn't speak right away, staring down at the people mulling about under their feet, trying to gather her thoughts. Apologizing wasn't that hard to do--she'd spent her life apologizing, often for things she knew weren't her fault, because it made things easier. But this was her fault.

"...I was wrong to avoid you like I did. I thought that I'd...make things easier for you. But I just made it harder. I'm sorry."

[kremdelacreme]

It was hard to be thrilled when things had already been so damn strained. But he wouldn't deny the chance to actually sit and talk, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be.

Without the thin shape in the corner, it was easy enough to settle in, and Krem leaned back against the railing with his arms crossed over his chestplate, eyes down on the junction between the wall and floor.

After a couple of silent moments, he shook his head. "Honestly, I don't blame you. None of us handled this very well at all. Thought maybe giving you time to...I don't know. Cool off. Might help when we did try and talk again. Are you alright?"

[arlathvhen]

"I'm fine," She says it as automatically as people breath and blink. After a moment, she realizes how hollow it sounds. Said too fast, without time to at least pretend she was thinking about it. A small sigh follows, and her fingers move to the railing, running along the wood, then gripping it, staring down at the people mulling about below them.

"I know that I was wrong. You're--you don't have any...obligations to me. You owe me nothing. And you deserve to be happy." It comes easily enough, because she's been repeating it to herself, throwing it around in her head over and over. If she kept doing it, maybe it'd sink in. Maybe it'd stop bothering her so much. "Sam is a good man. He'll make you happy." It's selfish to want anything besides what would make him happiest. And she would not have made Krem as happy.

"What I'm saying is that you didn't do anything wrong. But I did."

[kremdelacreme]

"Nugshit," Krem said automatically at Beleth claiming that she was alright. He knew that tone, that attempting not to be a burden, to take all the blame onto herself. It wasn't something that he was willing to deal with, not when it came to this. He'd been a shit without thinking about her being there, and he hadn't thought about how any of it had affected her until it was far to late to do a damn thing about it.

Then he'd just let it go.

"If you were alright you wouldn't have been avoiding me or Sam, right?" He turned to face her, keeping his tone even and even offering her a hand. "Bel, you do deserve to be selfish once in a while. You know that, right?"

[arlathvhen]

Well, it was true that she wouldn't have avoided either of them if she was fine with the situation. That was just another thing to rankle at herself about. Failure on her part to be able to pass herself off as fine with it. She pressed her fingers into the wood, rubbing against the grain as she stared down at the people below drinking.

But he was wrong about the second part. She didn't deserve to be selfish. What had she done to deserve that? Maybe if she was doing something important--if she was someone important. But she wasn't. Not that she was useless. She was just. There. Nothing special. Just her.

But he's trying to be nice, and make her feel better, and if she refuses, he'll shoulder the guilt. So she reaches out and accepts his hand. The rough, calloused hand of a soldier, though it's warm to her touch.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

It's suddenly hard to think of any reply, puzzle out the effort of an answer, and she just wants to stand there, holding his hand, maybe for the next week or two? That, unfortunately, is impossible, so instead Beleth just gives him a small smile. "I'm not upset with you, I promise. You're--You're really sweet, you know that? You think so highly of me."