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WHO: Venatori captives (Adalia, Gareth, Kain, Max)
WHAT: The four captives deal with being held by the Venatori for a month
WHEN: The month of August
WHERE: The palace in Minrathous
NOTES: cw for generally unpleasant things. more specific cws to come as necessary

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Early/not not long after capture

Coming to Tevinter at all had been a disastrous choice. It was probably inevitable that it would end up this way, with everything going horribly wrong... but Kain wouldn't have guessed it would go quite like this. He hadn't gone quietly or without a fight, of course, but they'd used strength in numbers to overwhelm him. Now, tossed into a cell, he's awaiting what's to come next... whatever that will entail. For now... It seems there's not much else he can do but wait, bide his time, and find out what they really want. He's not in the best shape for putting up a fight if they come back, but at this point he half wonders if he should even bother. Survival may be more important for now than trying to fight.

He's definitely on edge at the moment, though he hasn't yet fully grasped why. It's just a slight thing, in the back of his head...

"Is someone else there?" After all, some of the other cells had been occupied when he was brought here... he thinks. That or others may have been dragged in while he slept at some point. It's hard to say.

Later in the month

Time has seriously gotten away from him. It's been a disorienting few... days? Weeks? Months? Kain isn't sure. Everything is so foggy in his head, and starting to blur. He doesn't really think it's been months, exactly, though his sense of time is very off for more reasons than just the darkness of the cells down here. Maybe it has been months.

As it is, he's withdrawn a lot as of late, retreating into himself and overcome with a debilitating fear. He's doing all he can to hold it together... but with every moment that passes, he's terrified of what may happen, terrified that the whisper in his head, the sound of another will fully take over. He's getting feverish with the effort of trying to fight, and he's lost a great deal of sleep lately too. Every time he does drift off, he's greeted with the image of him, an eerie figure watching and waiting...

The ordeal has been awful for all of them, though. It's terrible thinking what might happen to any of the others, which is a lot of why Kain has been less outwardly resistant more recently. His anger over the situation isn't any lessened, though he's becoming increasingly more hopeless about the situation.

He hasn't spoken in a while, several days' time although he wouldn't know that for sure. He listens to the others, of course, sometimes only half-hearing them as he's too preoccupied with keeping himself somehow mentally intact. For now, he just... sits, clutching his head. No, nothing has happened from all of that whispering... yet. But he's a Warden, and he knows that hearing things is absolutely never a good sign for a Warden. Or probably anyone.

Gareth is a ghost.

It's not that they haven't treated him decently--he may be the one receiving the best treatment out of all the captives--but no amount of swaying and pretty words and promises can fix whatever has broken in him since he's been captured. He's obliging to them, in the manner of a person who obliges out of memory of pain at disobedience. Convenient for the Venatori, that the mage they captured came from the Gallows. They didn't need to inflict pain, when he already has memory of enough of it for him to be called to heel.

When he's in his cell, he sits and waits, silently, staring with intensity at the floor. When he's being taken to different places, he moves like a man in a dream, not quite there, not quite aware. They usually have to repeat their requests a few times, though he can usually be relied upon to acquiesce before patience runs out.

In this manner, his captivity is probably easier than the others, but you wouldn't know it, if you saw the hollow look in his eyes, or the way he flinches whenever a voice is raised. Meredith was, if nothing else in this life, effective in leaving a lasting impression, in leaving scars that time can't entirely heal.

It's been a dismal time for certain, languishing in this cell, only being brought out for vague reasons which he doesn't remember. Kain is staring at the faint glow from the shard in his hand, at the moment becoming desperate for any form of distraction he can get. The silence for him isn't so silent, and while withdrawing has worked for a long while, he's really close to losing it. The incessant whisper never stops.

"How long?" he asks when he hears one of the others being brought back. His voice is dull and low, with a weary sort of tone to it, "How long can this possibly last?"

Gareth doesn't answer right away. He takes his time, letting the silence in those horrid cells settle between them, before he stirs.

"It could be the rest of our lives, however long that lasts." His voice is soft, but still echoes in the oppressiveness of their surroundings. If Kain was hoping for some optimism, he did not pick the correct person to ask. "Until we stop being useful. Until they find a new use for us. What else is there? This is it."

Would the Inquisition bother with a rescue mission for a few idiots who couldn't escape in time? He doubts it. If there's a lesson that his short life has taught him, it's that he's expendable. First by Meredith, seeing abominations around every corner, then Anders, more concerned with the mages' cause as a whole than the unlucky few who would feel Meredith's rage at his actions. Even Kostos and Nell, independently leaving him behind when they had other goals to pursue.

This is just the next Maker-forsaken stop in the course of his glamorous life.

"I'd feared as much as well. I can't imagine them bargaining somehow to get us out, not after... Well. Everything that happened, back there." The guards aren't exactly forthcoming about the full extent of the situation, but it's painfully obvious that diplomatic solutions are now out of the question. Using force just for the sake of a few trapped agents is also laughable, for so few, and why would they spare any spies to this work? No, it definitely doesn't look too good.

Kain isn't too sure what he was after, either... Just to hear a voice that he can be absolutely certain really exists? Someone who's not a guard, at that. Nothing he's done so far can push out those dreadful whispers, though, and he doesn't have many hopes now, either.

However long that lasts. Not too long, he sincerely hopes, and definitely not any longer than it has to last. He hasn't yet fully reached that point of desperation, but he's been on and off wondering when it'll come. Especially lately. Will he be able to act, if his mind is compromised somehow? Would it be better to prevent it reaching that point, and if so, when should he do something about it?

"We may have to act on our own. If..." As he trails off for a moment, he looks down, once more at the shard, his tone darkening. "If it comes down to it." He clenches a fist around the shard, darkening its glow. "Sorry. I probably shouldn't be bringing this up."

“We could kill ourselves.”

The suggestion is given with a calmness unfit for the subject, but there’s too much surety to write it off as a joke. “The surest way would be to simply stop eating, but that would be long and painful. You could attack the guards and hope they manage it while defending against you. Or just try to get a hold of something sharp.” He regards his cell, and the dampness that pools in it from the frequent flooding. “Or figure out how to keep yourself underwater during high tide long enough to drown.” So many options!

“I can’t see how we could get ourselves out. And even if we did, we’d have to escape a hostile prison, then a hostile city and country. With—what? The clothes on our back? And three of us with anchors to hide.” It wasn’t impossible, but—yeah, it was impossible.

"That was more or less what I meant by 'acting on our own'." Although he wasn't sure if he was quite ready to suggest it, aloud. There's also the fact of not knowing when and if the right time would come to make such a move. How will they know when it's gone too far, when they're really so hopeless it's the only way out? Isn't it... kind of already at that point? The hard part is that he has to act while he's still in his right mind. If the whispers worsen, or any such thing, it'll be too late. Kain sighs, watching the glow faintly illuminate the damp cell.

"You're right, though, I think... killing ourselves may be the only way. I wouldn't mind risking a more true escape, but... no, they'd simply catch and punish us. And attacking the guards would probably lead to the same. We're... Those of us with anchors, they surely want alive at all costs." Alive, yes, but sane or in good physical shape? That's all probably a bit optional. There's always getting rid of the anchors, somehow, and becoming expendable. Though that means chopping off a hand, and that'd just likely mean bleeding out anyway. "We'd have to take one of those other options you mention, at a time when... when no one can stop us. And I especially need to, before..." He pauses, listens, but of course, yes, that whisper is still there. "Before a time comes when I can't."

“I’ve done so many things to survive until now.” It’s more to himself than it is to Kain, though he doesn’t bother lowering his voice. “Terrible things, some of them. Things that plenty of people would think were unjustifiable, but I justified them, anyway. Whatever I had to do to stay alive.” Killing, of course, being in a war, turning to forbidden magic that could get him executed, if only they could catch him. But all of it was okay, because it kept him alive.

And now he was discussing killing himself. Giving up, like plenty of mages had given up before.

“I wonder if this is how Orsino felt, at the end. Like it was so hopeless, that he might as well go out with a bang.” Of course, he also took others with him, mages that might not have been quite as ready to turn into some Maker-cursed abomination. And Gareth wasn’t quite ready to go that far, which is why he adds:

“We’ll have to talk to the others. Even if they don’t agree with the...method. The Venatori might come down on anyone who’s alive, if some of us succeed. They should at least know what might be down the line.” Of all the captives, the option to bow out made the most sense for Kain, who was in the most danger—and would become the most dangerous, if he gave in. Adalia also presented an issue, though Gareth wasn’t sure if she would agree to it. And Max—Gareth barely knew her from Andraste, and she had the least on the line—but was also the most expendable. It made sense to at least inform them of the option.

"All living creatures want to survive. It's only natural, for all of us. To go against that... it doesn't feel right. It grates on the senses in some way. But in a situation like this... this... It may be the one time that making such a decision is the only rational choice."

He thinks about the stories of what Orsino had done, all that he'd heard about it. "Who knows what runs through one's head when finally about to act upon that decision. Who... knows... But, I for one wouldn't advocate taking out anyone else at the same time. That part was going too far."

Kain sighs, closing his eyes, rubbing at his forehead for a moment as he listens to the whispers. Are they getting louder? Worse? Or is that just his imagination? Might that be a good way to make the judgment? The whispers have been a low, constant thing, but the moment they worsen or change... Maybe that's the time to act.

"You're right, everyone must know. They must have enough knowledge to make their own decisions on the matter. The revenge the Venatori take might be terrible... they must be aware of what consequences could befall them if they choose to remain alive." Kain has definitely been taking care to... more or less be compliant, for the sake of the others, especially Max, who seems to be their leverage for keeping them in line. With others' lives and well-being at stake, it's harder to act out. But eventually, something's got to give. "Of course, it can always... be worse, if we don't take this action. I might be turned against you, and there's no telling when that could happen. It could be sudden, without warning. I want to remain in my right mind at the end... that's all I want."

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