WHO: Thor, Loki, and open WHAT: Funeral proceedings WHEN: Backdated to shortly after returning to Kirkwall WHERE: House Asgard, Wounded Coast NOTES: Grief and loss
He nods in return and drops his hand back down, turning to view the small gathering. Even at times like this it costs little to be encouraging. Or maybe it is that in times like this it's more important to reach out.
"There is a place, I am certain of it. Our country needs those who can bring it to a better place." To a place free of Corypheus and the Venatori, able to stand strong as other nations crumbled from within. Like Nevarra. And he would not deny that he wants something to come from her death, a legacy so that she'd be remembered by more than simply his family.
It's a difficult situation to be sure. Hanzo is stuck here in the Inquistion until he finds a way to get back to whatever it is he wants to do, and it is what he has chosen to do to try and earn his redemption, to earn his place, to try and feel as though he is making amends. It is not good enough, he thinks, and he can feel the weight of that uncertainty like something heavy on his chest, something coiled ready to burst from him.
At least this is familiar enough that it gives him some comfort. He feels more at ease with it, admittedly, than he might like to admit otherwise.
"I am not sure I am one who would bring that." His regrets cloud him. Few know about the truth of Genji Shimada's death slash disappearance and he would prefer to keep it that way, but it is a ghost that haunts him even now. He frowns, staring out at the crowd. "But there are others. People who will make our home strong again."
He has motivated men before, but they were warriors under his command, not his equals. It was also when he was not quite so tired. As Hanzo looks at the crowd, Thor looks back at the body of his mother. What would she have done here? Probably smiled, laughed, and then brought up something from Hanzo's past that painted him in a good light. Thor can't do that.
"We can fight for it from here for now," he offers. It's not an alliance offer, the 'we,' but he can test the waters. His house is weakened, but it still stands and the people can see from their loss that they are not bending knee to Corypheus. House Shimada, if it survives after Corypheus is defeated, may need House Asgard.
Or maybe it won't. He needs to speak with Loki and see what his brother thinks of all of this. His insight could help.
What does he want? That's a difficult question for him to answer because the truth is that he doesn't really know. He doesn't know what his place here truly is, despite his recent promotion, and he doesn't know what the future is going to hold for him. He is constantly trying to find his place, trying to earn his redemption, and being mixed up with more and more people from Tevinter who know who he truly is... It's discomforting.
He appreciates the fact that Thor has been trying, and he's a far kinder ally than Hanzo had imagined he should be. He has kept his secrets better than Hanzo had anticipated, too, and he feels more comfortable with him than he had thought. It makes some of the tension bleed out of him, the uncertainty of the situation settling a little before he breathes out softly, just enough.
If there is a home for him to return to... Perhaps it would be worth having a friend.
"Perhaps we can," he admits quietly. "But I do not know what I want. For now... I wish to earn a place."
He nods. Birth is not earning on its own. There are plenty of firstborn who have... vanished... when it was clear they could not handle the responsibility of the Magisterum. Likely it is much the same story in other lands. And perhaps that is what came to place in the Shimada clan - Hanzo departed, the younger was found unsatisfactory, and there is guilt there that makes Hanzo feel unworthy.
"If there was ever an opportunity to earn a place, it seems to be the Inquisition." There's enough ambition in this place to create five Magisterums. "And perhaps to find a direction on one's life."
Selfishly, if Hanzo proves as solid a man as he's appearing to be, Thor hopes the Shimada's direction parallels his own. Tevinter will need it.
Hanzo is glad, at least, that the truth of what happened in the Shimada family is something that has been kept secret. If anyone in the Inquisition found out the truth of what had happened to Genji, what had happened when Sojiro had died and left the seat of Magister to his eldest son... He is sure his welcome here would be thin, that it would not take long for him to find his welcome wearing thin. They might accept an assassin, but a man who murdered his brother seeking power?
He breathes out, sharp and unsure, staring forward in front of him as he tries to think of what to do, what to say. Perhaps the Shimada family would be better with him, but he cannot imagine that they would not get worse with him back at the helm.
"That is all that can be hoped for," he admits. Hanzo seeks, more than anything else, his own redemption. He seeks to find a means to prove himself, to earn the right to say that he has been forgiven for his misdeeds.
He only hopes that, somewhere, in whatever afterlife there is waiting for them, Genji can see that he is trying.
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"There is a place, I am certain of it. Our country needs those who can bring it to a better place." To a place free of Corypheus and the Venatori, able to stand strong as other nations crumbled from within. Like Nevarra. And he would not deny that he wants something to come from her death, a legacy so that she'd be remembered by more than simply his family.
It is the greatest comfort he can have right now.
no subject
At least this is familiar enough that it gives him some comfort. He feels more at ease with it, admittedly, than he might like to admit otherwise.
"I am not sure I am one who would bring that." His regrets cloud him. Few know about the truth of Genji Shimada's death slash disappearance and he would prefer to keep it that way, but it is a ghost that haunts him even now. He frowns, staring out at the crowd. "But there are others. People who will make our home strong again."
no subject
"We can fight for it from here for now," he offers. It's not an alliance offer, the 'we,' but he can test the waters. His house is weakened, but it still stands and the people can see from their loss that they are not bending knee to Corypheus. House Shimada, if it survives after Corypheus is defeated, may need House Asgard.
Or maybe it won't. He needs to speak with Loki and see what his brother thinks of all of this. His insight could help.
"What is it you want, Hanzo Shimada?"
no subject
He appreciates the fact that Thor has been trying, and he's a far kinder ally than Hanzo had imagined he should be. He has kept his secrets better than Hanzo had anticipated, too, and he feels more comfortable with him than he had thought. It makes some of the tension bleed out of him, the uncertainty of the situation settling a little before he breathes out softly, just enough.
If there is a home for him to return to... Perhaps it would be worth having a friend.
"Perhaps we can," he admits quietly. "But I do not know what I want. For now... I wish to earn a place."
no subject
"If there was ever an opportunity to earn a place, it seems to be the Inquisition." There's enough ambition in this place to create five Magisterums. "And perhaps to find a direction on one's life."
Selfishly, if Hanzo proves as solid a man as he's appearing to be, Thor hopes the Shimada's direction parallels his own. Tevinter will need it.
no subject
He breathes out, sharp and unsure, staring forward in front of him as he tries to think of what to do, what to say. Perhaps the Shimada family would be better with him, but he cannot imagine that they would not get worse with him back at the helm.
"That is all that can be hoped for," he admits. Hanzo seeks, more than anything else, his own redemption. He seeks to find a means to prove himself, to earn the right to say that he has been forgiven for his misdeeds.
He only hopes that, somewhere, in whatever afterlife there is waiting for them, Genji can see that he is trying.