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WHO: Kain Ventfort and OPEN
WHAT: The return from a month's captivity in Tevinter's 0/5 star accomodations
WHEN: This month, now-ish
WHERE: Inquisition areas and around Kirkwall
NOTES: References to captivity, nightmares, and associated dark things

I. Infirmary

They had made sure to keep the captives well enough to stay alive, so they might retain their usefulness… but that was about it. There was little regard for their mental states, particularly, or looking too closely after their overall statuses beyond the basics. Once the adrenaline of the escape had worn off, Kain had crashed pretty hard. He'd gotten quite weak while lingering in a cell, and feverish and sickly in those last couple of weeks, all of it aggravated by his worsening insomnia.

So on returning, it was off to the infirmary with him to start his initial recovery.

He's being given all kinds of herbs and tinctures, along with the healers tending to him as well. They've been adjusting and adapting what they're giving him, not about to let him leave until he's got the right mix that'll work. Some of those things should be helping him sleep, and for the most part, they do… Mostly.

The nightmares still keep coming back, like they are right now. Kain wakes up with a sudden jolt, screaming as he flails his arms around against an unseen enemy.

II. Chapel

Kain hasn't always been the most devout, even if he considers himself Andrastian in theory. But he feels compelled to pray, though he's unsure if he's there to thank her for being freed, or simply to ask the Maker… why. It's an excuse to leave his room, anyway, and the healers have allowed that much, since it's not too strenuous to walk there.

At least it's blissfully quiet here, something he's sorely needed after the month of whispers in his head. Perhaps even a little too quiet.

Although he starts out kneeling, deep in prayer, he soon enough finds himself nodding off… eyes getting heavier and heavier… Until Kain ends up curled up on the bench, fast asleep. After the month he's had, and the mix of various herbs he's been taking to help him sleep, it's no wonder he can't keep awake.

His snores are hard to miss, loudly echoing throughout the chapel.

III. Kirkwall Merchants

Amid all the chaos, he's lost his favorite pair of gloves. It's a small thing relative to what he'd been through, but to him it matters. They'd been perfect for covering up his shard and nothing else he owns entirely does the trick. At the moment, he's still not in the best state of mind, so he's become a little obsessed with finding something new to cover up that shard, especially after all that he's been through recently.

So Kain is at a glove merchant. He's trying on pair after pair, one by one, all different colors and fabrics. One by one, he's also tossing them aside when he still sees that glow emanating through them. There's a black leather pair which seems almost promising… but no, they don't quite fit. A soft velvet purple pair, no. A silky deep maroon, also no. A plaidweave pair… yeah, definite no.

Kain sighs in frustration as he holds his hand up to observe that faint glow through the plaidweave.

"How annoying. I guess I really will have to return all the way home to get something…"

IV. Griffon Roost

It feels like forever. Kain still isn't in the best of shape, but he's desperately missing Potato, and the griffons in general. So at some point he heads off for the roost. He's oddly nervous as he approaches. What if she's moved on from him? Does that ever happen, after a long enough span of time apart?

Of course, he had nothing to worry about. As soon as he enters, cheerful squawks greet him. The griffons all know and like the Warden, since he always comes bearing plentiful treats.

Potato is the most enthused of all. She bounds toward him, knocking him flat over. He's a bit too weak to get up just yet, but he doesn't care at the moment. As for Potato, she's nuzzling him like a fiend and making very elated noises. She's clearly missed him.

"I'm... glad... to... ahh, to see you, too, Potato…"

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"I guess I really should know better... Sorry, Garahel. You're a good friend, even if... a much too stubborn one. A little walk won't have killed me." He's at least content enough to keep his arms around the mabari, comforted by his presence, still overwhelmed with too many emotions for his own good.

He squeezes Inessa's hand back in turn, looking over at her, then downward for a moment. "I keep forgetting where I am."

Garahel lets out a skeptical grunt, provoking a small smile from his mistress. "You're safe and cared for, and that's what matters. I know how restless you can get, but allow yourself to heal. We'll take a walk when you're ready, I promise."

She reaches into her bag and produces a griffon feather of a familiar hue. "Potato says hello. I just checked on her, she's doing well though I'm sure she'll enjoy flying with us when we all have the time and energy."

Kain nods, needing that reminder. Of course, logically he knows he's perfectly safe, but... it still isn't quite clicking right in his head. "If I offer you treats, boy, will you let me go out, then?" Well, it's worth asking, isn't it? But he knows well enough how he'll respond, how they'll both respond. It's frustrating. There's not much else he can do about it at the moment, though. The healers are being all too strict about this, and both Inessa and Garahel are too good at following their orders.

He at least does perk up on seeing that feather, reaching for it with a hopeful expression. "I'd give anything to return to the sky. More than anything, I want that... How is she doing? Are the griffons all faring well overall?"

"She is fine, just restless and eager to show off. The attention these days is mostly on the hatchlings; they're not flying yet, not exactly, but that's definitely not for lack of trying." She smiles fondly, the images of the corgi-sized babies gracelessly flapping firmly affixed in her mind.

Nodding to Garahel, she gestures for him to move back and give Kain a little breathing room. "He's had enough treats for today, trust me. But I can support a brief walk...after you've rested a little more. Those dark circles under your eyes tell me you need it."

"I can't wait to see them with my own eyes. That's quite a sight to behold... but I certainly don't want to make the older group jealous... they're due their share of treats from me as well. And if I can... just go spend some time with Potato, I'll be satisfied for now." He's sure she'll be happy for that much, even if he's not quite up to flying yet.

He pets Garahel a bit, then sighs heavily. He's still got a bit of that haggard look, even if there are some improvements from when they'd first arrived. But he looks away, downward, not too eager to discuss this. "...it's still difficult. Sleeping, I mean. The dreams are still..." He trails off, then shrugs, trying to push it away entirely. "But I shouldn't be letting this get to me like this. It's pathetic."

Inessa listens quietly, then shakes her head. "Don't continue the work of our captors and further torment yourself. It's not pathetic for the mind to need time to recover, as much as the body. Unless you're calling me pathetic, as well?"

She's loathe to ever talk about her own issues, not wanting to be a burden when he has enough to deal with, but if that will get Kain to realize he's being too hard on himself, so be it.

"No, never." His answer is pretty much instant. He could never view Inessa as pathetic, no matter what she was going through, no matter how this was affecting her. So could it be the same for him? It's a lot harder to see it that way, of course, since he's always been more harsh toward himself than others.

He looks down again, toward the shard, frowning as he touches it with a finger from the other hand. If only he hadn't gotten this stupid thing... He looks up at her, still appearing overall shaken and haunted. "I'm sorry you're dealing with it as well..."

Aw, Kain. While she was trying not to focus on herself and her own needs, it's still reassuring to hear that reply. There are few people whose opinion genuinely matters to her, and of course he's one of them. A frown tugs at her lips as her gaze lingers on the anchor he's touching.

"Has that changed at all, while we were away? What does it feel like now?"

He continues to trace his finger along that glowing mark, sighing heavily after a moment. Kain is definitely also trying to distract them both from him and his own current messed-up state, though at the same time he hates to think she's facing similar feelings to what he's enduring.

"Nothing has changed. It's..." He hasn't talked about this or been asked to, yet, and he's afraid of when the time will come when someone may need that information from him. "It's... It hurt sometimes. It occasionally felt like I'd been using it too much. Sometimes, it would look raw and red, as if... Whatever they were doing, they were clearly experimenting with it. It's... I don't think there's any damage or anything, just... it's still there." His expression gets pained and he closes his eyes to hide the watering up. No, that is so not happening. "If I could be rid of this thing here and now, I would."

Ironically, having the shard probably kept him alive, though. After all, they'd have little reason to take him prisoner otherwise. Upon his capture, he might well have been simply executed instead.

Silently bristling at the thought of his captors experimenting on Kain like that, she fights to keep her voice calm but it's harder than usual and she doesn't quite succeed. Her tone is more emphatic than she intends upon replying.

"What they did was horrible, and they deserve a painful death for all they've done. But that anchor is the reason you're still alive, I'm certain of it. Otherwise, you would have been more trouble than you're worth to them, just as they placed little value on those they didn't need. So in that sense, I'm grateful. Call it selfish, but I'm not prepared to lose you yet." Moving his finger away from that mark, she brushes her lips against it.

Kain watches, gasping in surprise as she lightly kisses that glowing mark, the thing that's been the bane of his existence. The thing which he's seen for so long as an invasion upon his body, something that doesn't belong.

They'd had at least one or two prisoners who weren't shardbearers, who were used for other purposes, such as keeping everyone in line by threatening them. But that was exactly it. They'd only needed a couple of those. Anyone else would have been expendable. He'd only lived because of the shard, but he'd only been captured and endured that past month because of it as well. It's a maddening predicament.

"Or it was the only reason I was captured. Perhaps I could have escaped, they wouldn't have been as fixated on me specifically were it not for this thing... but..." He sighs. "Who knows, truly."

He lowers his voice. "I promise, I'm planning to stay alive." Or die trying, some dark thought goes in his mind, but he really is more determined now, with someone worth living for in his live.

"Good. I won't allow you to forget that." Inessa smiles slightly, but her eyes and tone are entirely serious. Kain has a habit of undervaluing his own life entirely too much, in her opinion. That their lives will be short is no reason to devalue them, but rather the opposite.

"I know it's tempting to get caught up in what-ifs, but...don't. You need to heal, and that won't help."

"I'll count on you for that, then."

There are many ways in which having Inessa in his life improves it considerably. Her ability to make him see a point in living is certainly one of them. Not that he's actively eager to throw it all away, but... sometimes he just needs to step back and be reminded that even his life matters.

"I... I know. I'll try not to. Not to let myself get too caught up in such things. It's hard, though. It keeps going around in my mind, and..." He sighs heavily, his expression very lost and more vulnerable than usual. "I'm sorry. I'll be stronger. I'll get stronger. I will, I promise you."

"As long as you help yourself, too." Inessa will do what she can, of course, but she can't do everything for Kain. He needs to be responsible for himself, too, for the sake of their cause and in general. But there's no lack of faith in her voice, merely calm assurance. He can do this.

Leaning in against him, she nods and gives him a light squeeze. "You'll get there, a little at a time. I know you will."

"I will. I promise. I want more than anything to be... to feel normal again." He feels far from it right at the moment, despite being back in Kirkwall, far away from the awfulness of that past month. He's recovering, but it's a slow process, and even slower for the mind than the body.

"I'm so glad I have you. I don't know what I'd do otherwise."

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