( open ) which will refresh my broken mind

[eruit]

WHO: Hanzo Shimada and open
WHAT: New specialization and Angst
WHEN: End of the month
WHERE: All over Kirkwall
NOTES: N/A

I. GALLOWS TRAINING

Training with his spirits has become second nature to him now and he feels it as he steps forward into the Gallows; they've been growing stronger, especially since the intense dangers of the Deep Roads. His desperation to protect them, to not let Storm Bow out of his hands, had resulted in a level of fear he had never allowed himself to consider before; he had not wanted to run the risk of them suffering any more pollution because of his uncertainties and his pains. He had come so close to losing them already -

he grits his teeth. He cannot let them be harmed.

As he works with his bow, standing with his eye on the target before him, critical, his arm moves a touch faster. Three arrows are shot in quick succession, the shape of Hanzo's arm almost a light blue blur as he aims. He doesn't seem to notice, particularly, that anything is different with his arrows, his eyes sharp as some of the tension bleeds out of him, some of the tightness of his shoulders relaxing just so. He doesn't look happy, necessarily, but... Better, perhaps, for the shooting.

GARDENS

When he's not training, Hanzo spends a great deal of his time sitting in the gardens in the Gallows, legs tucked under him in something that seems like it must be uncomfortable for extended periods of times. He seems to be quite happy with it, however, more comfortable like this than he might be otherwise - with something familiar, something almost like 'home' - than he is in any other way. Being back from Tevinter for a few weeks now has him tense, a little on edge, not sure how best to handle the culture shift of 'home to 'Kirkwall'.

Can he even call Tevinter home now, when he has given up so much?

Other hours of the day are spent with him sitting with bits of paper and ink at his side, writing letters that will never be sent. He writes and he writes, almost as if he is dictating his life in a diary entry, pieces of parchment building a pile at his side. When he's done, or it seems as though he's done, he puts the paper to one side and bows his head, overcome by something, his hands shaking a little before he begins to fold them all, meticulous and careful. When he is done folding them he turns, creating a small circle of rocks before he starts a small fire.

Then, one by one, he burns all the parchments until nothing remains.

The fire burns out as Hanzo sits, watching it. He lifts a feather and places it on the burning pile, watching the shape of it curl into embers and ashes, watching as it falls apart, as it becomes nothing, just like all the words he had written down. He bares his heart where no one can see it then burns it away to hide the shame.

III. ROOMS / LIBRARY

When he isn't training or meditating Hanzo can normally be found in his room, settling down, tidying, folding and stitching his clothes. He sits with his formal gear on his lap, a needle in hand, repairing what was damaged during his expedition into the Deep Roads. He'd had to wash them first, deeply and with as much soap as he could muster, just in case the taint had been carried in the dirt and the blood, but he doesn't have coin enough to waste clothes.

When the door is more shut than open there is, at times, a faint, blue glow, just enough that it might attract attention.

Otherwise, Hanzo can easily be discovered in the library, books about Tevinter and the language open in front of him. He's an assistant project leader now and with it comes certain expectations, a certain level of understanding that means that he should at least be making some kind of an effort. He wants Corypheus to be defeated, he wants the Venatori to fall to pieces, for his family - well. The less said about them the better, he thinks, scowling at the parchments in front of him.

IV. WILDCARD

( Feel free to wildcard your own prompt or message me at aziraphale for a prompt of your own! )

Comments

[aceso]

"Mmm." It's space to think on what to say to that. She's certainly never sung Tevinter's praises before. Being a mage there wouldn't have necessarily meant freedom for her.

"Did you know that we 'rebel' mages—" Said with an inflection to show what she thinks of that title, "—were going to be indentured to Magister Alexius? I had never looked on Tevinter as a paradise for mages. Indeed, I assume it contains much of the same backstabbing as Orlais. But being indentured holds certain connotations with it. To pay back a debt is only right, but seeing how the Magister was insane, there is no telling what he would have used us for."

She shakes her head. "I have never been there, but I will admit I have a hard time imagining the good when all I have heard is the bad."

[eruit]

"I knew very little of Magister Alexius. I knew my family and our business and little else, but I imagine indenture to any master would not have been a welcome experience." Hanzo would know, but from the other end. He had slaves and servants at his beck and call when he had been younger, when he had been a Magister, and he's not sure what to do with the knowledge of that now.

It's not worth letting anyone find out about, he thinks. Better to keep his secrets.

Fingers brushing over his bow, Hanzo tries not to think about it, even when the faint blue glow comes back and begins to crawl up his arm.

"There is some good to be found, but... There is much to hate, too. I know that and so do many of the Inquisition." There's a reason he hasn't gone back home, more than just his own self-given exile.

[aceso]

Christine is, of course, drawn to the blue glow, and Faith's response only makes her suspicions all the stronger. The fact that he made no mention of spirits when she told him she was a Spirit Healer leads her to the assumption that he doesn't wish for it to be known. Though if that's the case, he should tell his spirit friend to not be so noticeable.

"I am sure there is good too. Definitely a land that can produce skilled archers, for one." Her eyes take in the area around them before she lowers her voice slightly. Not because the place is busy, but just in case someone happens upon them from behind her.

"Forgive me for being forward, but I can tell you have a spirit with you, bound to your bow." Faith is buzzing between her ears again, and through her way of communicating, Christine amends that. "Two spirits. It's all right. The Spirit of Faith that works with me tells me they are not unwilling."

[eruit]

There's a moment where it seems as though Hanzo wants nothing more than to shift and adjust himself, to draw his bow and let the arrow fly, but he doesn't. He does not kill entirely needlessly - for money or for his own gain, they are two different things - but he has no reason to hurt or kill here. He is simply tense, on edge, something prickling at his senses, and he breathes in and out a few times before he lifts his head to look at her properly.

The faint blue fades and Hanzo draws the bow closer, tight, not risking the chance of anyone else seeing it and catching any kind of knowledge about what they might be. Not when one person has already learned, even if that person might be someone who has the same intimate connection with a spirit as he does.

"... Two. Spirits of Honour." His throat feels thick and heavy and he breathes out gently. "I have had them since I was very, very young."

[aceso]

"Faith has been with me around two years, and I feel as though we learn something new from each other all the time. You three must be extremely close."

Honor isn't a spirit form about which Christine knows much, but the basic concept explains enough. And it's easy enough to get a read on him to see he isn't comfortable speaking of this. Her expression is gentle.

"The glow was noticeable to me, so it may be to others as well. The very observant may connect it to the blue glow spirit healers have in our eyes while we heal. I only wished to make you aware; not put you in an awkward position."

[eruit]

"We are close." He nods his head, fingers stroking down over the wood of the bow, feeling the familiar feeling of their warmth wrapping around him and soothing the weight of his heartbeat rushing through him. He had been panicked, unsure, but he swallows, gripping his bow tighter.

He cannot risk anything happening to them. He has done so much to them already, put them through so much, that the idea of more risk coming to them is one that is completely intolerable to him. With one so close to becoming an abomination, so close to being lost to him forever... He is lucky they chose to forgive him in the first place.

Breathing out, he relaxes his guard, just a little.

"It is... New. We have not worked together like this since I - since I left home." Since I stopped using magic. "I am... Relearning."

[aceso]

"Ah, so it would not be insulting to say that they assist you with your archery, would it?" After all, she's been praising him on his skill, and there is nothing wrong with the aid spirits can provide. She simply hopes he doesn't take her to mean that it's all the spirits and not his own hard work. Perhaps they provide a push.

[eruit]

"They do not, usually. This," and by that he means the glow, the speed, the ability to use more than one arrow in a shot and have true aim, "is a newer development. They did not interfere with my archery until after Tevinter." Perhaps because they are realising the change in his heart, he thinks, and want to support it as best they can.

[aceso]

"It is the same with me. Faith does not need to assist me in all my healing, but is there when I need her." Mainly because some patients get twitchy when her eyes start glowing blue.

"You are very blessed they took such interest in you." But she doesn't pry any further. The reason Faith found her in the Fade was not because Christine was a faithful Andrastian. It was because she had doubts, and a spirit of Faith has nothing to teach someone who already embodies what they are. Therefore, it's possible — in Christine's mind, at least — that things aren't as cut and dry as Hanzo being a perfectly honorable man. She does wonder if he's a mage, but that also seems like prying. Either he's not, or he's not owning to it.

[eruit]

"They are not used to aiding me like this. It has been an experience for us both." That he can admit to, at least. Before, when he had been in Tevinter, when he had been younger, the spirits might have strengthened his magic. Now... Now they are learning how to aid his archery, too, and he's not sure how to handle it properly.

Christine continues, though, and Hanzo's frown deepens. It is not as simple as that and he's aware; his family's nature of binding spirits to items is not always as voluntary as might be the case for a spirit healer or warrior, but he declines to comment. There's no need to make an awkward situation worse.

"I am glad to have them," he agrees, easily enough. "I care for them, and they me." And, unsaid, they are his only friends.

[aceso]

"Well, there is always room to improve and learn new things." She's trying to keep the conversation light and share a bit of her own experiences, but from the way he grips his bow and frowns at her, it appears he has no wish to be too open. One can hardly blame a person with all the dangers in the world.

"That is something so few of us learn in the South. We are taught only fear and caution. It is why I am glad to have learned more of spirits from the Avvar. Their views are quite different. A little too extreme for me in some cases, but they have broadened my horizons."

[eruit]

"There is," he agrees. He had abandoned magic and learned how to use a bow and arrow - that had been difficult enough. Bring at range was one thing, but learning the upper body strength necessary to wield the Storm Bow had been a process in itself. The fact that there were spirits attached to it had made him want to do it more, not less.

"I have not spoken to the Avvar much. I am not inclined to share this knowledge with anyone." Why would he want to go around spouting about the fact that he has spirits bound to his bow, the fact that they were put there by his father? "I... Perhaps I will speak with them, in the future."

[aceso]

"As you see fit," Christine says with a slight incline of her head. "But if you choose to, know that their augur will surely know on your arrival, because the hold spirits will tell them." And the Avvar are a straightforward people, not inclined to hold back for politeness's sake like Christine. "There are several friendly holds in the Frostbacks. The one I am most familiar with is Falcon-Reach hold, but I know people at Honey-badger hold as well."

She thinks anyone should experience time in an Avvar hold if they're granted guest welcome. It's quite the experience when one is only used to the uniformity of Andrastian lands.

"For now, I should let you three get back to your archery."