[OPEN] I can't get by pretending it's okay

[amygdalae]

WHO: Bruce Banner and Anybody Else
WHAT: Everything Is Fine And Nothing Is Wrong: a premier by Bruce
WHEN: Haring 16 onwards
WHERE: All over Skyhold
NOTES: Mostly open post through the rest of December - prompts and such are under the cut. I'm starting in brackets, but feel free to switch to prose and I will follow accordingly! Also warning for angst and Bruce being Bruce.

one. making the rounds. (courtyards, most of skyhold)

[Almost one week later, Bruce still can't quite shake off the entire incident from his mind. Or rather, he can't shake off the image of the dead mage in his head when he finally made it out of the garden, the poor soul gone for good after what Adelaide and the others had done.

He couldn't blame them, of course - they were only doing what was necessary, what was right - but all the same it still reminded Bruce of the reality of what he was and how people would perceive him if they ever knew the truth. The moment they knew... nothing would ever be quite the same, that he was certain of.

He tries not to dwell on it too much, but it continues to haunt him through the day as he does his daily rounds. Having denied himself the use of his magic save for that one time with Cole, Bruce is still healing from the injuries he suffered from the abomination. There're bandages around his head and arms and chest (although the last is hidden underneath his clothing) but Bruce doesn't let those get in his way, just as he doesn't let the occasional throb or ache of pain from his still healing ribs stop him from doing his work. Some of his more familiar patients do ask him about it, but Bruce is quick to brush them off and turn the attention back to themselves. They are all far more important than he will ever be, after all.]

two. fixing the garden. (the garden)

[With how things had been that night the abomination had more or less left a good part of the garden damaged. That, of course, included the herbs that had been growing, which was most likely going to cause some issues in the near future.

Still, at least its not like they're gone forever. Bruce drops by the garden whenever he can, helping to get the earth ready once more so that a new batch of herbs can be planted with the hope that they'll grow properly and without interruption this time around. It hard labor, yes, but at least the work helps Bruce to temporarily keep his mind off the more dangerous lines of thoughts that he knows he shouldn't dwell on. How long that works, though, is another thing entirely.]

three. midnight wanderings. (battlements and library)

[The thoughts never leave him, not really, and Bruce knows full well that he's going to have to deal with a good while of not being able to sleep properly. Sleepless nights are practically an old friend to him now.

That doesn't mean he will let himself waste his time - since he is awake he might as well make full use of what he has. On some nights he can be found on the battlements, brewing potions up there in the quiet that's only broken by the footsteps of the night patrol. On other nights he might in the library instead, perusing several books and if one manages to catch him at the right time, will see that it pertains to abominations and other such things related to them.]

wildcard.

[Feel free to throw in your own prompt or PM/contact me to plot out stuff!]

Comments

[amygdalae]

"I'm still walking and talking. That's already pretty good." Especially when compared to many others who were still bedridden and still suffering from their injuries. Bruce knew he already got off light considering what happened, so he wasn't about to complain.

He let Gavin check his bandages for a while though, mostly to assure him, and then after that Bruce gently eases his hand away and gives the elf a smile. "I happened to be in the area. But don't worry about me - like I said, I'm walking and talking."

[slipshot]

Gavin didn't normally give people looks - preferring to laugh off anything serious - but he certainly gave Bruce a look now.

"Walking and talking isn't pretty good, Bruce, that's the minimum of functional." His voice was oddly clipped. He didn't like being worried, but he was, and he frowned even when Bruce smiled at him. "I wasn't there... What actually - happened?"

[amygdalae]

"Being functional is a pretty good bench mark." It certainly was better than being dead, for one. Bruce wasn't exactly picky when it came to things like that.

He continued to smile in spite of Gavin's obvious worry, hoping that would somehow reassure him. "I'm not too sure myself. One moment I was making my way through the gardens and the next--" Screams and cries and an abomination causing havoc everywhere. It had been a pretty messy affair.

[slipshot]

Bruce the smile is not helping it's just making Gavin suspicious that you're worse off than you look.

"I would think that it is literally the first benchmark," he said wryly, bot lowly, as if it was more to himself than to Bruce. The frown deepened.

"... It sounds like insanity, to me," He admitted. "I've never actually seen an abomination. I didn't really know they could wreak that much havoc. I sort of thought it was just like, a normal demon fight, sort of thing."

[amygdalae]

Bruce does hear the mutter from Gavin but he doesn't reply to that, knowing that whatever he could say probably won't help in any way. So he just lets it drop and responds to the other half of his words.

"It's always harder when it's an abomination," he says as he turns his gaze of to the distance, in the direction of where the gardens are. "They weren't always demons." They were... human, or elven, or any other race that possessed magic. It wasn't their choice to become a monster like that, and it wasn't fair that they had to die because of it.