faderift | [OPEN] I can't get by pretending it's okay

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[OPEN] I can't get by pretending it's okay

WHO: Bruce ~~Banner~~ and Anybody Else
WHAT: Everything Is Fine And Nothing Is Wrong: a premier by Bruce
WHEN: Haring 16 onwards
WHERE: All over Skyhold
NOTES: Mostly open post through the rest of December - prompts and such are under the cut. I'm starting in brackets, but feel free to switch to prose and I will follow accordingly! Also warning for angst and Bruce being Bruce.

one. making the rounds. (courtyards, most of skyhold)

[Almost one week later, Bruce still can't quite shake off the entire incident from his mind. Or rather, he can't shake off the image of the dead mage in his head when he finally made it out of the garden, the poor soul gone for good after what Adelaide and the others had done.

He couldn't blame them, of course - they were only doing what was necessary, what was right - but all the same it still reminded Bruce of the reality of what he was and how people would perceive him if they ever knew the truth. The moment they knew... nothing would ever be quite the same, that he was certain of.

He tries not to dwell on it too much, but it continues to haunt him through the day as he does his daily rounds. Having denied himself the use of his magic save for that one time with Cole, Bruce is still healing from the injuries he suffered from the abomination. There're bandages around his head and arms and chest (although the last is hidden underneath his clothing) but Bruce doesn't let those get in his way, just as he doesn't let the occasional throb or ache of pain from his still healing ribs stop him from doing his work. Some of his more familiar patients do ask him about it, but Bruce is quick to brush them off and turn the attention back to themselves. They are all far more important than he will ever be, after all.]

two. fixing the garden. (the garden)

[With how things had been that night the abomination had more or less left a good part of the garden damaged. That, of course, included the herbs that had been growing, which was most likely going to cause some issues in the near future.

Still, at least its not like they're gone forever. Bruce drops by the garden whenever he can, helping to get the earth ready once more so that a new batch of herbs can be planted with the hope that they'll grow properly and without interruption this time around. It hard labor, yes, but at least the work helps Bruce to temporarily keep his mind off the more dangerous lines of thoughts that he knows he shouldn't dwell on. How long that works, though, is another thing entirely.]

three. midnight wanderings. (battlements and library)

[The thoughts never leave him, not really, and Bruce knows full well that he's going to have to deal with a good while of not being able to sleep properly. Sleepless nights are practically an old friend to him now.

That doesn't mean he will let himself waste his time - since he is awake he might as well make full use of what he has. On some nights he can be found on the battlements, brewing potions up there in the quiet that's only broken by the footsteps of the night patrol. On other nights he might in the library instead, perusing several books and if one manages to catch him at the right time, will see that it pertains to abominations and other such things related to them.]

wildcard.

[Feel free to throw in your own prompt or PM/contact me to plot out stuff!]

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That certainly made more sense, even though hearing about it--it certainly didn't seem pleasant at all. Hearing that also made him feel bad, knowing that she had something to do and a place to be and suddenly having all of that torn away from her without warning. It had to be hard to deal with.

"He sounds terribly cruel," Bruce managed, with as much solemnity as he could bring out within him. "And I'm sorry to hear that. It isn't fair for you to be suddenly brought here like this when your own place is in trouble too."

She ducked her head slightly, her braid slipping over her left shoulder. "From what I understand," she said, "the Rift isn't all that concerned with fair."

The apology was appreciated. But hardly necessary. Things happened in the world, probabilities collided. There was no point in taking responsibility for them, but sympathy was a rare and wonderful thing.

"We may have a way to stop him," she added, running her hand over the loosened soil. She didn't want to leave Bruce feeling as sad as she did about the situation. Sure, Aunt Lysia's plan was insane, but sometimes insane things had a surprisingly high probability of working. And if anyone could pull it off, it was the team Lysia had brought together.

True, the team was now missing a member. But really, it wasn't like they needed her.

Things may be beyond his control but that didn't mean that Bruce couldn't sympathize with her plight. It was still a terrible thing that happened to her, and she didn't deserve any of what happened one bit - especially being thrown here without warning or reason.

"I hope for your sake that it ends well, then." Bruce glances over to her and makes an attempt at an encouraging smile. Though he may not fully ever understand her plight, he can at least do his best to be as encouraging as possible - it was the least he could do for the trouble they have all caused because of the Breach and the rifts.

Ariadne paused to consider it a moment. "There is a perfect possible future where everything will turn out just fine and the odds of creating that future are only one million, six hundred and seventy-one thousand to one. More or less."

So, there was a chance.

"What do you use for fertilizer around here?"

That was... something he didn't expect her to say. It took a bit for him to process her words, but after that he did his best to be encouraging still, all the same. "It's still better than nothing at all." It was something to remember, for her as well for others. Even the tiniest silver of hope was better than knowing there was nothing.

A fact Bruce knew all too well.

"Ah--yes. I think we still have some of the clay we used last time. Let me go get it for you." Bruce stood up and went to grab the bucket of specially-prepared clay he had brought over just for this purpose, returning back with it and setting it down between them as he knelt back down. "We have this. It's about as good as using manure, but with none of the smell."

It had a scent, but decidedly a better one than manure. Ariadne studied it for a moment, trying to break it down to its individual parts. But then she decided that it was a task best left to when she was alone and could really, really sniff at it.

Using her hands, of course, she started glopping it down into the soil.

"Always put in the fertilizer first," she said. "So the soil is saturated before the seeds."

Unlike her Bruce decided to use his spade to bring out the clay from the bucket, plopping down chunks of it down into the soil just as she was doing.

"Alright," he said, just to show that he did hear her. Fertilizer first - that much was easy to understand. "Is there a specific way to put the fertilizer in?"

"No," Ariadne said. "But I like to mix it up with the topsoil." Even when it was manure. She had never learned to be demure like the girls in the Elvish court. She would watch them occasionally, though. Especially Lady Adriana with her pretty curls and cutting eyes. Occasionally, she would even try to imitate them.

It just never stuck.

Bruce gave yet another nod to show that he heard her once more, then using his spade got some of the topsoil to try and start attempting just that.

He paused before he did start though, glancing over to her and giving a curious look. "Perhaps you could show me, so that I don't mess this up." Wouldn't want that to happen, after all.

Not a lot of people turned to Ariadne for her expertise. When it happened, she wanted to giggle. She was just so used to no one taking her seriously. Which was, of course, always for the best.

She nodded slightly. Using her hands, she started to mix the clay in with the top soil. She had the precision of a baker kneading dough. Which was funny because Ariadne was a nightmare in the kitchen.

"I love plants," she told Bruce, like it was some big secret. "They make so much more sense than people, most days."

She started and Bruce kept a close watch on what she was doing, noting how she mixed the clay with the soil and trying his best to commit it to memory. His focus broke though when she spoke to him, and he glanced up to her and blinked at her words.

"Well, plants are easier to understand," he returned with a nod. "And they're not as complicated. As long as they have what they need, they won't give you any problems."

She nodded. Plants also didn't demonstrate prejudices. Or keep secrets. And more than that, they were like Alastrians. Green creatures that did what they needed to do to survive.

Sometimes, Ariadne thought it was no accident that her skin was the same color as a plant.

Or, well, had been. Her hands still felt like a stranger's.

"I think," she said, "if the Red Dragon hadn't come along, I would have liked to become a gardener."

Bruce liked plants as well, although for him it was for different reasons. Being able to grow life, to cultivate it... it made him feel better, just a little. The idea that he could enable life was important to him, especially after all the deaths he had caused, be it directly or indirectly. This did nothing to make up for that, of course, but--it helped. Just a bit.

"You can always be a gardener while you're here," he went with a smile, trying once again to be encouraging. "Seeing how you know so much, I'm sure you would be great at it."

"Maybe," she said.

But Cole had given her some other ideas. As talented as Ariadne was with plants, she felt her other skills might be more useful. Assuming, of course, that she was fighting for the right cause.

Which she still had to figure out.

"What do you do for the Inquisition?" she asked.

"Me?" he started, gesturing towards himself. "I'm a surgeon, first and foremost. I just like to help out here whenever I can."

Bruce was happy to keep himself busy - it helped him feel better, for one, and it took his mind off many other things that he'd rather not be occupied with. It was pretty much a win-win situation for him, really.

"I've always admired surgeons," Ariadne said. "You do for people what I do for plants."

Ariadne lacked the temperament to be a surgeon. Mostly because she understood that there were some people that they just couldn't save. She would never be able to live with that kind of knowledge. She'd hate herself too much for any failures on her part. No matter the odds.

There was a blink from Bruce, mostly out of surprise from the words. He hadn't really expected that, and admittedly it was kind of nice, even if he felt like he didn't deserve that sort of compliment. There was nothing admirable about it, really.

"Ah--thank you," he returned, smiling a little once the surprise had happened. "I just want to help people however I can, so it simply felt appropriate."

Ariadne just smiled in return, her hands steadily working.

There was something peculiar about Bruce. She couldn't put her finger on what, exactly, it was.

She decided that she would need to dedicate more time to examining him, to considering his scent and listening to the way his heart beat. It was, of course, entirely possible she was seeing phantoms where none were there. But it wouldn't do harm to pay more attention.

At Bruce's end, all he really did was to smile once more before resuming his focus on the garden.

In a way, this entire exchange was surprising to him - after all he didn't mix around with the Rifters so much, but they all did seem like good people. And now that he had talked with one of them for quite a length, perhaps in the future he could try to talk with the others too. For all their strangeness they were, in the end, very interesting individuals. And it would be a lie if Bruce said he wasn't intrigued by them.

[OOC: I figure we can end the thread here? Unless you wanna continue, which I am cool with too!]

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[OPEN] I can't get by pretending it's okay

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