closed || nothing sacred, all things wild

[exsecutus]

WHO: Nikos, Caspar, Nell, Carla, Max, Kitty, Marisol, and the letters of Ilias Fabria
WHAT: the assassination of Grand Cleric Agathe of Cumberland
WHEN: mid Cloudreach
WHERE: Kirkwall, Antiva, and the long and lonely road to Val Royeaux
NOTES: part of the mod plot

Comments

bonobo oh no

[rathercommon]

This -

This is almost too ridiculous to understand. Under normal circumstances, if a breeze took the papers, or if she'd been spotted from the street because she'd strayed too close to the open window, she'd be utterly furious with herself. It isn't good security practice, after all, keeping the window open, and it was probably a mistake. But the fact that the open window didn't invite in a stray wind or curious eyes, but a bloody monkey - her brain can't even fathom it. She can't even be angry. It's too much.

"Hey now," she says, and then takes time to wonder how one speaks soothingly to a monkey, because she has to speak soothingly to a monkey. "Here. Give that here. And I'll - give you sweets. Or something." Do they understand human speech? The little ones in the hats that dance for organ-grinders in London seem to. So this one must, too, right? "D'you eat sweets?"

god that's such a better title why didn't i hire you

[exsecutus]

The page rustles as the monkey presents it again, with a cheerful but still curious chatter. He tips his head the other way. Is he listening? Does he understand? Is he proposing a trade?

Or maybe he's a monkey, holding a precious piece of paper, by an open window. The breeze rustles the pages he's not holding, teasing at the corners.

Decisively, the monkey settles back and rests his ass on the stack, effectively holding them in place. He flips the page around, upside down, like a man settling in to read a newspaper. Upside down.

why DIDN'T you

[rathercommon]

All right. That's good. It looks like it's settling in.

Kitty eases a little closer, holding out a hand. "Don't be scared," she says as soothingly as she can, even though the monkey appears to not give a solitary shit about her. "Come on, give that back." She takes another step - two more, and she'll be close enough to grab those pamphlets back.

because i'm a fool

[exsecutus]

The monkey is not scared. Also, he does not give a shit about Kitty. Like anyone with a good juicy bit of reading to do, he's quite settled in. His little hands crumple at the page as he turns it around--sideways this time--and consults what is written there from the new angle. And then around again, to another new angle.

The wind ruffles at the corners of the pages trapped beneath his slight weight. Outside in the street, a woman's voice rises in anger. Someone has run their wheelbarrow over her foot, and she is letting the owner of the wheelbarrow (by her account, a bastard son of a pig too ugly to eat, rude and unmannered, couldn't get paid to suck cock) and the entire street know how she feels about it.

The monkey is as captivated as the crowd that is starting to gather outside. He turns his attention out the window once more. The paper is still clutched in his hands, tantalizingly grabbable.

[rathercommon]

It's as good an opportunity as any. Carefully, carefully - Kitty approaches - trying her best to make not a sound (and her best is, if she does say so herself, quite good). The first step, the second -

And then she reaches out and, gently, grasps at that paper.

[exsecutus]

The paper rustles, and the monkey's ears prick, and it swings its head around to look--first at Kitty's hand, and then up into her face.

And then it screams.

It's really more of a scream than a screech, which helps to make it off-putting. A screech might be expected. A scream, almost human, and it pulls back sharply on the page, ripping it out of Kitty's grasp. Angry, it screams again, shaking the page at her, giving her a good scolding. The shaking does put it back in her range again, though she'll need to be quick to get at it.

[rathercommon]

Kitty gives a little yelp of her own. That noise sounds so - human - and for a moment, she's reminded of that green monkey, coming after her and Jakob - which is a stupid thing to think and a stupid thing to be afraid of because that thing was a demon the size of a man and this is just a stupid little animal. But it still throws her off enough that her reflexes are just a little too slow. She just misses her chance to grab at it.

"Wait - " she cries as the monkey starts moving, like it's going to listen to her pleas.

[exsecutus]

There's no waiting.

The monkey, spooked and possessive, screams again and darts past Kitty. Not out the window, which might, perhaps, come as some surprise. That was the easiest escape route, after all. The monkey takes the dash at a lope, because the page is still clutched close to its chest, which leaves it with just one hand and two feet, and the tail for balance.

As it leaps off of the window ledge, the force of its kick-off jostles the stack that is the rest of the letters. In almost a solid block, they begin to tip over the window ledge.

The monkey, meanwhile, is on the carved back of the sofa, chattering angrily like Kitty needs scolding.