faderift | and there's a glass on the table, they say it's gonna ease all my pain

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and there's a glass on the table, they say it's gonna ease all my pain

WHO: Mia Rutherford and OPEN
WHAT: She spends a lot of time taking care of everyone else. She needs a drink or five to unwind before getting back to it.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Herald's Rest
NOTES: Alcohol? Bad decisions?

She's not proud of herself for this. But there are breaking points, and she's nearing one, and it's better to deal with them pre-emptively than not, and have a fuss be made later. There are things that are completely out of her control, Maker knows, and she needs to make her peace with them.

Wine helps. So does the ambiance of the tavern, even if she sits alone. There's a homesickness that claws at her, though she refuses to let it take root too deeply. There's work to be done here, after all--

No. No work tonight. Just...relax. Listen to the music and the noise and the banter and try to let it go.

Easier said than done, but she'll muddle through it. Stubbornness is a Rutherford family trait, apparently.

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And at that she hesitates. It does not good to propagate the rumor, damning as it is. It's not as though she doesn't trust Katniss. She absolutely does, but...

Think of how the girl's heart would be broken. She'd always been so transparent in her feelings about Cullen. How much easier all of this would have been. Mia's expression turns a little crestfallen before she reaches for Katniss's hand, patting it gently.

"Disappointing, I'd say. More than anything else."

Edited 2015-12-30 19:44 (UTC)

Concern flashed through Katniss's eyes, and she leaned forward, folding one hand over Mia's. "Mia, you've gone absolutely white ... I've never seen you look so sad. What's happened?"

Fear rested there, "Did something happen with Cullen? Was there another abomination?"

Of a sort. The pointy-eared kind. No, no, that wasn't kind at all. Mia shook her head with a breath.

"I cannot say. But I fear so. Perhaps I simply worry too much about his prospects here, but considering what people are like, I don't think it's undue," she replied, vague as she could make it. Still. It felt good to speak of it, even if they weren't necessarily speaking about it.

"He rarely tells me the whole of what he's going through, you know. Always had to be the strong one, bearing it on his own, not bothering anyone else. Even when it was little more than a skinned knee he was too embarrassed to show anyone."

"His prospects? For what, after the Inquisition is done?" One eyebrow raised, and she looked around before leaning in to whisper, "Marriage prospects?"

Had someone poached him while she was gone - no, no. Her friends would have told her. Mia would have told her. So whatever, or whoever it was, Mia was worried but she didn't feel it was a full level of threat yet.

One corner of her mouth lifted, before she gave Mia a wry look. "Hm. I wonder where he learned that from." Her grey eyes became more serious, "Do you think he's in trouble?"

Marriage? Maker forbid. She almost feels sick at the thought. When she imagined him settling down this was not the way she would have hoped he'd go about things.

"When is he not?" she sighed, giving Katniss a look. "He's the Commander of a rising power in Thedas. He can hardly sneeze without someone somewhere making something of it. That's the way politics work, and why I abhor them." Her lips tighten, eyes falling back to her drink.

"And if something should come of it, there's little I can do. It seems of all the people I could help here in Skyhold, the most important still seems so far out of my reach. It is...frustrating, I will admit."

Not -- marriage prospects but something close to it. Oh Maker, who has Cullen gotten himself tangled up with?

She sighed, rubbing her face a little, "Politics are ridiculous at a time like this, and they honestly shouldn't have anything to do with what people do with their personal lives -- but you're right. They do. His do."

Which was why she was attempting to, well, clean herself up. Stand on her own. If she was going to court Mia's brother? Then she herself had to be above as much reproach as a common girl from the Hinterlands could be.

She looked at Mia, her gaze searching, "Have you talked to him about it, whatever it is? He's your brother, and yes, he's strong. Maybe one of the strongest people I have ever known. But even strong people have people they can depend on, when things get ... complicated. I believe that if you are one of those people he depends on, and if you asked, he'd tell you."

"I don't think I am."

And that perhaps hurt worse than all the rest. "When trouble's come to him in the past, he'd sooner hide it from me than confide in me, or trust me to help. I can't imagine it's different now." She swallowed thickly, and took another deep drink from her glass in the effort to still that shaky feeling in her chest. Hold it together, Mia.

"Perhaps I've missed my opportunity altogether. We've not seen each other in so long...I thought being here would make a difference. Foolish of me."

"Mia." Katniss sat up a little, her gaze firm, "That is ridiculous. You are still here, are you not? He hasn't shipped you back home, or where he thinks you'll be safe. He's the Commander of the Armed Forces of the Inquistion - if he didn't want you here, you wouldn't be here."

She took the glass from the other woman's hand, and then offered up her own. "Come on. I'm taking you to your brother's office so he can sort this nonsense out."

"I'm certain he doesn't want to be troubled by me."

Because she isn't certain she can bite her tongue and pretend to be happy for him. They're a straightforward bunch, and she doesn't know how not to speak her mind. But wouldn't that be selfish, if this is what he wants? If he's truly happy?

Her lips press together in an unhappy line. "If I thought going up there to give him a piece of my mind would help, I'd have done it already. Believe me."

Katniss rolled her eyes, before she hopped off the stool and now, still holding Mia's hand, tugged her off the stool completely.

"I am certain he would be troubled that you are troubled, and want to see it made right. That's the kind of man you've been talking up to me for over a month." She stated firmly, meeting Mia's gaze, "It's the kind of man I have known him to be. He would never do anything to hurt someone else maliciously."

She tugged again, "This isn't about you giving him a piece of your mind - because I know you would have. Twice over by now. But he's done something that makes you worry, and I know he'll explain himself, but you have to give him a chance. Like he is giving you a chance." She arched an eyebrow, "You know this is the most sensible option, too."

She let out a disgruntled noise as she was pulled from her seat, eyes a little wider. The girl meant well, but honestly.

"Katniss." And she tugged her hand loose again. "I appreciate you wanting to help. Truly, I do. But there's no sense in drawing attention to this. It's a private matter, and that I don't approve of it doesn't mean he owes me any explanation. It's a decision, and he's clearly capable of making those without any say on my part."

Katniss narrowed her eyes thoughtfully at that. Oh, well, this was bad. If Mia wouldn't confront Cullen directly, it had to be very, very bad.

She frowned, because if it was a private affair that Mia didn't approve of ... she breathed out. Slowly. "Hm. A decision that you're going to pretend that you are fine with, while it slowly eats you alive. Maker ... Mia, I adore you, and ... well, yes, we both know how I feel about your brother, but you are both Fereldan to the core." Stubborn as a mabari, refusing to help or to ask if someone needed help, or tell someone when something was wrong. "...But you have to remember. I'm also Fereldan."

She put one hand to her chest, "So, if you won't tell him that you're upset, I am going to go up to his office, bang on his door and tell him myself."

"And what would that accomplish?"

She reached for the younger woman, hands at her shoulders. Ferelden, indeed. She almost reminded her of Rosalie in the moment, impulsive and every bit as stubborn as the rest of them.

"What would that truly gain anyone, if you did so? Please, think this through. I need at least one person in the keep to do so," she added with a wry knot of her brow. "I might dare to hope that it would be you."

"Well, for one, you wouldn't be scaring the Maker's blessings out of me." Katniss muttered, giving Mia a searching look.

She sighed, rubbing her face, "I am not entirely sure what it's not gaining anyone now. For once, Mia, you're not making any sense." She looked around, before looking at the older woman. "Listen, I am willing to be sensible if you tell me what you're asking me to be sensible about - in private. Where prying ears cannot pry."

"I would. But I was asked not to speak of it. And I do not ask that others give their trust to me lightly, any more than I would give mine."

Her hand gestured futilely. "You see the position this puts me in. I cannot involve anyone else. And I don't wish to cause more trouble where there is already enough to be had."

She nods her head at that - because she agrees. Trust is the most important thing you can give anyone in this world. "No, I see that this is hard on you."

She put her own hands on Mia's arms, looking at her, before wrapping her into a hug, "Just ... if you need me to do anything, you let me know. And, I know you think it won't make a difference to talk to him, but I disagree."

She leaned back, "I know that if I told you I was upset over your actions, you would explain yourself. I might not like it, I might not even respect it as hard as that is to believe -- but I know you would be truthful."

With a quiet sigh, Mia squeezes Katniss back in that hug. Truthfully, there are few she would trust in the keep more than her, but even so. Pel had been very clear that discussing the matter would only make things worse.

"You are a dear girl and a treasure." More the fool her brother, she thought, before releasing her hold. "If it will put your mind at ease, then I will speak with him. Privately. But not right now. I...don't think I would be properly composed for such a discussion, at the moment.'

Katniss quirked up one corner of her mouth. "Well, I'll take the dear girl -- a treasure might be something of a stretch." She exhaled, slowly and with great relief, "Yes, it would. I don't like seeing you upset, and frankly I think it would be better if you have all the facts before you ... I don't know, make a dramatic exit, with your hand to your forehead."

Her smirk deepened, before she offered Mia her elbow, "And now, I am starving. I need to eat before I sleep." If she could sleep ... "Do you want something on your stomach?"

"If I feel the need for dramatics, believe me. You'll know."

There was a pause before she shook her head. "Perhaps another time. I'm afraid I'd be poor company at the moment, and I wouldn't want to impose. Now," she added, lifting a hand. "I realize you wouldn't have asked if it was an imposition. But I'm not sure how much more I'll feel up to tonight, to be frank."

"Good grief, I really hope I am not about to hit the situation where I need to see them."

Katniss stated simply, before she gave the other woman a long look, before she nodded, "As you like, Mia. I'll gather my food, and leave you to your own devices. Will you be all right, getting back to your room on your own? Or shall I perch outside to make sure you get safely back?"

"I think I'll manage. It's only wine. I'd worry more for the safety of any who crossed me on my way back," she replied with a dry chuckle, before taking her seat once more. "But thank you, dear. It's good to know I have a friend here, if nothing else."

"Well, remember, you're a lot meaner then they are. Try not to make them cry." Katniss waved her hand to the bartender, so she could have her food put in a basket. "And you most definitely have a friend in me."

She paused, looking back at Mia. "I mean that."

Katniss's loyalty was not easy to win -- but Mia had won it. She gave the older woman a nod of respect, before gathering her food and heading out the door.

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