The Ambassador is Out

[sulahnan]

WHO: Athessa and you and Byerly too
WHAT: Athessa wears Byerly's clothes and pretends to be him for a joke, ends up doing real work instead.
WHEN: Solace
WHERE: Diplomacy Office
NOTES:

Things have been quiet for a bit, and everyone's been back from the jungle for a bit, and Athessa's need to commit to the bit is strong. One early morning after a night of not much going on, she remembers that she has an outfit of Byerly's tucked away, and inspiration strikes.

I. Can I Take A Message? (open to everyone but Byerly)

[ Byerly has yet to appear in his own office, making this a waiting game for Athessa. She's dressed in Byerly's clothes, which fit her about as well as a tent might. She's had to roll the trouser legs up to not walk on them, and she's rolled the sleeves up to her elbows. There isn't a glass of wine on the desk, but rather a cup of tea that she managed to procure exactly one lump of sugar for, and by the time anyone of note (that's you) comes by, her fake mustache has long since been wiped away.

By the looks of things, Athessa has been taking notes any time someone with legitimate business passes through. ]

II. Reading Back The Minutes (closed to Byerly*)

[ Well it's about damn time. Athessa is still behind the desk, her tea and mustache long since polished off and her fingers smudged with ink and graphite from taking down notes and messages all day with whatever writing implements she's able to find. First, a pencil, but then it got worn down and she couldn't figure out how to sharpen it so she switched to a pen. There's undoubtedly a smudge on her face as well, as she's taken to leaning on her elbow, propping up head in hand as she writes.

When Byerly comes in, she only just remembers the reason she's here and sets down the pen, tenting her fingers the way Byerly does, and raising her eyebrows just so. For someone who looks nothing like Byerly Rutyer, it's an admirable impression of him. And to his face, no less! ]

Ambassador.

*threadjacking welcome

Comments

i.

[cozen]

[ When Bastien knocks and strides in with documents in one hand, he doesn't blink or miss a beat. ]

Ambassador.

[ His tone is brisk and professional and not at all how he would greet the real Byerly, if he were bothering him alone in his office. But for this mysterious imposter, he offers the letters in his hand with a wrist-snap worthy of a practiced servant. ]

The one from Eularia Cellier is particularly interesting. She would like to sell us onions. I put it on top.

[sulahnan]

[ Ambassador Sulahnan inclines her head slightly and looks at the letters he's offering the way one might assess a plate of cucumber sandwiches. Mild interest at best. She takes them and sits back in her chair. ]

Are you in a hurry, dear man? Please, have a seat. [ The seat that she usually sits in is indicated with a lazy, backhanded wave of her hand. ]

What's so interesting about an offer to sell us onions?

[cozen]

Well.

[ He takes the indicated chair, sitting in it straight with both feet on the floor, which is also something he would never do with Byerly. Or with Athessa. It looks natural enough, though. ]

She has reasonable prices and several varieties. Yellow, red. White.

[ Fascinating stuff. ]

And if you look at the second paragraph, she mentions a specialty stock of onions that grew beneath a rift. Apparently they caused her goats to riot. She thinks we might like them to feed to our rifters, or perhaps to shove up our asses.

[sulahnan]

[ Sitting like that doesn't look natural at all on such pansexual disasters such as these, but I'll allow it. ]

The goats, or the onions?

[ Athessa frowns at the letter, reading it as fast as she possibly can to get to the second paragraph, but still needing to take some time with it. She really oughta get back to those lessons she started before the jungle cruise.

She smooths the letter out flat on the desk, then folds her hands over it and looks at Bastien, quite seriously. Then, lifts her hands to check the letter again. Got it. Okay. Back to the serious pose. ]

Perhaps we should levy a counter-offer of shoving them up her ass. And get a team out to close that rift.

[cozen]

If that is what you think is best, Ambassador.

[ He crosses his leg over his knee, because he can't stand it anymore. But it's a very professional leg-cross. ]

Of course, some deference and apology might be better received, as long as we do not leave the impression that the rifts really are our doing.

[sulahnan]

Deference we can do, but an apology is a tad close to admitting fault, don't you think?

[ Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh about this silly game. Athessa nods to herself and taps her fingers on the flattened letter. ]

Leave this with me and I'll see that it's handled with the utmost diplomacy.

[cozen]

I have every faith.

[ He stands up, with finality. ]

Is there anything else you need from me?

[sulahnan]

Is it not I who is at your service, dear Bastien?

[cozen]

[ Bastien keeps his face straight for a few seconds, then—not because he couldn’t resist, but because he doesn’t care to—cracks into a smile. ]

All right. That was good.

[sulahnan]

[ Oh thank fuck he smiled first that means she can laugh finally. ]

My impression needs a lot of work.