[OPEN] Interview With A Mage

[sulahnan]

WHO: Athessa and you!
WHAT: Talking to Magefriends about Magic and Abominations
WHEN: August; Post-Abomination, Pre-Modplot
WHERE: Around the Gallows
NOTES: none yet

i. colin

It's one of the days that sees Athessa helping out in the apothecary, which means busy hands but a mind free to wander. She's separating the buds from dried, woody stems to place each into jars for their individual uses when she speaks:

"I've been thinking a lot about what happened..."

ii. kostos

This isn't a conversation that is going to happen organically. After reading through some esoteric writings on magic in the library, she gives up for a time and stalks off to find Kostos.

"Oi," she calls to him, jogging to catch up with him. "Got a minute?"

iii. isaac

[ Some late night crystal call when Athessa's eyes get tired of reading ]

Isaac, can I pick your brain a bit?

iv. derrica

[ They've had their fair share of difficult conversations of late, and this one bodes no different. The kicker, of course, is that it's far more personal to Derrica than it is to Athessa, so when the latter seeks out the former, she comes bearing gifts. Little spiced cookies and coffee over ice - does Derrica drink coffee? ]

It's not spice cake, but the flavor is pretty close.

v. wildcard/bring out your mage

[ either hmu on disco or plurk and i'll make a starter for you or wildcard me, whichever! ]

Comments

[sulahnan]

"I meant what you wanted to do now," She explains, gesturing with her coffee. They've got time. An hour, the rest of the day, the week... "But nothing is simple with elves, either."

[tender]

"You've never talked about that," Derrica says softly.

Because discussing the tangle that is elf rights is easier than trying to think what they do next. This conversation feels fraught to Derrica, as if she will say the wrong thing and hurt Athessa all over again. Veering from abominations to mages to elves is somehow easier territory than what might happen if they stray into other areas.

[sulahnan]

Athessa's shoulders lift in a shrug. "You've never asked."

That lightness, at least, she doesn't have to force. She doesn't care that Derrica never asked her about elf stuff, not really. It's a topic that doesn't really lead to happy endings.

[tender]

There's a lot of things they haven't asked each other about. Derrica's quiet for a moment, before gently releasing her grasp on Athessa's hand.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

It's a fair offer, isn't it? Athessa would have drawn out all the ugly parts of abominations, the worst parts of magic that even Derrica fears. She could hear this, if Athessa cared to talk about it.

[sulahnan]

Maybe it's just the heat of the day that makes the retraction of that touch feel like a brand against Athessa's skin. She holds her coffee with both hands, rolling the cup across her palm.

"I dunno. I feel like I've been talking about myself a lot lately," When all I really want is to understand you. "But I'll talk about it if you wanna hear it."

She dips another cookie into her coffee and eats it.

[tender]

Gently, "I do."

Derrica knows a little of it. She's sailed with elves, met them on the road alongside other mages and other travelers just trying to make their way from one point to the next. But not everyone related to the bigger concepts of what freedom and happiness looked like in the same way. Derrica knows that is true here, even in how she moves through Riftwatch's assembly of mages. It cannot be so different for elves, who have to all have their own ideas on what security would mean.

[sulahnan]

"Where should I start?"

A question both to Derrica, if she has a notion, and to herself. Her experience is hardly universal.

[tender]

"Wherever is easiest," Derrica says, then clarifies: "Wherever is least painful."

There must be pain. Derrica doesn't know how there could be anything else, and she doesn't want Athessa to delve into it on her account.

[sulahnan]

Athessa tips her head, thinking. "You know I'm Dalish, right?

Part joke, because elves and pain go hand in hand, no matter who's telling the story, and part honest question because Athessa doesn't remember being drunk last year and telling Derrica that the languages she speaks are Trade, Bad Trade, and Elven.

[tender]

"I know that not everything is painful," Derrica answers. It's a small, quiet belief that's kept her from losing parts of herself to grief and anger. Amidst every single painful aspect of the past, there are good things to hold fast to. There is more than just the pain.

And because the idea that Athessa has nothing at all in her past that she could refer to is too much for Derrica to assume right off the bat.

[sulahnan]

"Well, you're right about that," she admits. "Though memory is a funny thing. I had thirteen years with my clan, of which I remember maybe half on account of being so young, but when I think of them I have to remember the last time I saw them before I can think of anything else."

Which is what she has to do now. But she smiles.

"Mostly I remember being curious about other people. Using a hunt as an excuse to venture closer to Kirkwall, where the hahren would speak with merchants and trade with them. The songs that we'd sing to guide us back home if we got lost, or to lead us to Sulahn'An to pray to the gods and leave offerings."