open

[inkindled]

WHO: Matthias, Nikos, Salvio (tbd if Doki, Val, and Darras will get open stuff. how did I get all of these characters) + YOU
WHAT: just open stuff, man
WHEN: NOW
WHERE: various
NOTES: tiny bit of self-harm but it's so small and it gets fixed so fast

Comments

[inkindled]

[Matthias stops twisting at the bracelet when she begins to speak. He keeps his eyes fixed on it at first, tracing the shape of the beads without touching them.

What she says--her story, brief though it is--begins to take shape, and between the words there's the rest, lines and details that fill in without being said. Quiet hallways with closed doors, facades that hide what's horrible. He's not stupid. He knows what the world is, the shapes that move under the surface and pull you under. And so does Athessa. Which he knew, sort of, not in any conscious way or with any real thought. Just a knowing.

He remembers Ciara, when she says the name--only talked about her the once, but it pulls pieces of that conversation back to him, fits in these new pieces and horribly sets the scenes that he had constructed only vaguely.

There isn't anything to say. This is one of those times where you only listen. Even Matthias, who never shuts up, knows that. He's heard confessions enough to know that. He looks at Athessa, not at the bracelet. Just her.]

I'm glad you did. I'm glad you weren't alone. That I was there as well. [It's not his, the house and everything in it, a thousand shades that Athessa can only see, but she gave him this little piece. She is his friend.] I'm glad you told me. And that it's--that part, I mean, it's over. It isn't. But it is.

I'm glad he's dead and you're not.

[sulahnan]

Me too. About all of it. [ Her smile is back, not sad or strained or in any way false. It feels good to have him understand and not pity her, and to be able to think about that place as just a house that bad things happened in, rather than some grim spectre looming over her. ]

I think it is, though. Over. I didn't get to kill him myself, [ though she really, really wanted to, ] but I finally got to put my foot down. One final fuck you to him and his stupid house, and that fucking wine. I didn't think I was gonna be able to drink it, actually, but I did, and I mean it didn't taste good but it didn't take me back there.

[ Surprising even herself, she laughs. Disbelieving, full of relief. And when she takes a breath, it feels...clear. ]

He doesn't get to take up space in my mind anymore.

[inkindled]

Yeah.

[Softly, and with finality. Not good, precisely. Her laugh is what's good. The rest of it comes after things that happened, even if they shouldn't have--if the world was better, like, if people didn't hurt you because they could, because of a right or because someone said it was right or any other reason--so it's not good, even if it is, a little. There's not a word for it.

He looks back at the bracelet. Gives his wrist a little shake.]

Derrica, she's the one what made the first one of these for me. 'Cause I told her I was-- I don't, you know, think always. Go too quickly. And she said the bracelet would help, that I could look at it and I'd remember, or touch it, and I'd remember.

I reckon you ought to have one. Not-- to remember any of that. To remember that--you know, what you said. That he doesn't get space with you any longer. That sort of remembering. For when it comes back.

[sulahnan]

[ Athessa hadn't known where the bracelets came from, just that he wore them all the time and that they'd been lost. Hearing that they were important, and that Derrica was the one to give them to him...feels weird.

Mostly, she's happy to know that Derrica cares so much about Matthias, to give him something that mattered to him. Not that she'd expect any less, because Derrica's wonderful, but ya know.

Athessa smiles and tips her head in a considering nod. ]

Maybe. I'm terrible at keeping track of things like that, though. Maybe I should get a tattoo of one instead. A permanent reminder.

[inkindled]

They'd just be tied on, you couldn't loose 'em if you tied tightly enough.

[All the same, he brightens at her idea.]

A tattoo'd be brilliant, though. It'd need to be somewhere you could see it, whenever you looked. Around your wrist.

[sulahnan]

Around my wrist, huh. [ It's silly, repeating him and looking at her wrist like she doesn't already know what she'd get there to ground her. ]

Well alright, then. I guess I'll start looking for a tattooist.

[ She fetches up the pencil again, spinning it around her thumb and catching it in writing position. Show off. ]

So what's next on the list?

[inkindled]

[He rolls his eyes a little at the display, but he's got a grin on his face, too, appreciative.]

Right. Erm-- well, more. I want to learn more. Diversity of spells, like?

[sulahnan]

[ She nods and starts writing, still smiling, happy to help. Together they can come up with a list that sounds right, looks perfect, and that Matthias can defend with his reasons without floundering too much.

And when they're done, as promised, Athessa will return the pencil she pilfered to Flint's desk. ]