faderift | Down On Skid Row [Closed-ish]

WHO: Athessa, Byerly
WHAT: Repairing friendship maybe??
WHEN: a few days after By's backfired apology (pre-Ghislain)
WHERE: Lowtown
NOTES: Drinking and drug use and probably violence, threadjacking negotiable

Lowtown taverns haven't been Athessa's regular haunts for a long while, probably because she tacitly conceded them to Derrica in favor of drifting along the battlements in clouds of smoke and visiting Hightown apartments where the food is arguably much better. But she's here now, leaning against the bar and trying valiantly to get the barkeep's attention. This isn't the one who passes her information for Riftwatch, just an unaffiliated one who has something against elves, or women, or short-arses, or all of the above.

So while she waits, she produces a blunt and lights it on someone else's match just after they light their own cigarette. It's surprising enough for the man that he stares, confused, until the flame burns down to his fingers and he drops the match and stomps it out when it hits the floor.

"Cheers," Athessa says, though he's already ignoring her again, just like the barkeep. She turns and leans her elbows on the bar, scanning the crowd for anyone pretty, handsome, pretty handsome, or pretty interesting.

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Another glance. "Because you asked why I lie all the time. That's the answer." A shrug. "Or at least part of it."

"What's the other part, then? Why trust me with something like that?"

Maybe he was hoping she'd fail to keep it secret, to prove a point. Was he telling the truth when he said he didn't enjoy teaching people things?

A long sigh. "The other part is that I am a liar. I have been all my life."

She shakes her head, clearly confused. "No, the other part of why you told me. Were you hoping I'd rush off to tell someone, or...?"

It's like they're speaking different languages.

A deeper sigh still. "I told you," he says, rather more emphatically, "because you asked why I am a liar, and that is the answer."

This time she sighs. That's going nowhere.

"Maybe you should sign at me when you're telling the truth," No matter that when he'd said so, it had been via crystal. She wouldn't have been able to see it anyway.

"That's not precisely how being a liar works," he says, and takes another drag off his cigarette.

"You're so fucking frustrating."

Another shrug, and another flat, tired, "You are right."

If he says he's a liar again, or that she's right again, she very well might just haul back and sock him in the jaw.

"Why aren't you friends with Colin anymore? He seems to think he's lost your good opinion forever."

That is unexpected enough to break through Byerly's control. The look he flashes over at Athessa is openly miserable. Which he wouldn't have allowed, to be fair, if it were less dark out; he's counting on that look being invisible.

Well. "That isn't my place to discuss. If he wants to tell you the reason, he will."

It's plenty visible to someone who can see in the dark.

"He said it's because of what he tried to do to himself. But I wanna know your reason."

Ah. She knows, then.

He's quiet a long moment. Then, finally, he asks - "Do you know anything of what happened in Ferelden? Regarding his old tormentor?"

"Some of it. His name. That he was a Templar and the son of a Bann. That he groomed and assaulted Colin in the Circle. That you helped bring him to justice and he was expelled from the Order. That he's probably still alive."

She shrugs. She knows more than that, but this is hardly the place for a play-by-play.

"And the Speaker's announcement, of course."

A small tilt of his head. His voice is quiet.

"Whenever I look upon Colin, it is a reminder that no one stays saved. That I cannot keep anyone truly safe. And I am not in a position - do not have strength - to deal with the terror that brings me." A shrug. "I cannot even keep him safe from himself."

Athessa thinks about that, continuing to study his countenance. She can imagine how that feels, in some way, but she also knows how Colin feels about it.

"Is it your job to keep him safe? I know you care about him, but is that all he is to you? Someone you can't permanently save?"

"Ah, dear Athessa," he replies, his voice faux-airy, "that's all anyone is to me. A string of hurts I was too feeble to prevent." A laugh - "Oppressively self-important, isn't it? Somehow both pathetic and pretentious."

"Do you imagine Colin likes being seen that way?"

"Not a bit."

"Maybe you should try seeing him as a friend, instead of your own personal failure. He thinks highly of you, and you abandoning him when he needs friends to be on his side really hurts him."

A look in her direction. "He thinks I am a coward, and rightly so." A shrug. "As I said: everything you said about me is correct."

"So change it," she says, rolling her eyes and uncrossing her arms to gesture while she speaks. "And don't dear girl or dear Athessa me. You could choose to put his happiness above your self-pity and misery. You could choose to try."

She turns and starts walking again.

He doesn't respond. What would the point be? She is correct: he is too low and pathetic a thing, too self-centered, to be worth spending time on. The only time she seems to be satisfied in her relationship with him is when she's storming away from him.

So he just tips his head back, and blows smoke at the sky, and wishes that he could vanish.

She calls to him over her shoulder. "You could come with me, ya know."

"Come with you where?"

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