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Once the Council votes on the resolution and it passes, Ellana has work to do. Gathering the mages together for training may not be an easy task, but she'll leave that to the other Councilors. Her concern is seeing that Sina is trained too. Being so timid and obviously weakened from her shard, Ellana decided that it would be best to train Sina separately from the other mages. The girl didn't need that kind of stress with eyes on her, but she seemed fine around Ellana.
Of course, this is all dependent on Sina accepting Ellana's offer, so she now goes to find her to ask.
Of course, this is all dependent on Sina accepting Ellana's offer, so she now goes to find her to ask.
It's been hard to know where she stands now with Merrick, after she accidentally invaded his privacy like she did. It was only done to help save his life and not for any malicious reason, but he's hardly spoken to her since, and when he has, his words have been like ice. She wants to be like they were before, only she doesn't know how to approach him. Giving him time hasn't resulted in him coming to her, and in fact, he probably never will. It's finally dawned on her that the little presents she'd find among her belongings were from him, because they've stopped coming since the Mire. And there finally comes a point where she doesn't want to sit back and not try to make things right. Whether he comes around or ends up hating her more, at least she can say she tried.
Merrick isn't easy to find, especially alone. She spotted him at the First Day celebration surrounded by people he was swindling for money, so she had to wait. But today she manages to find him alone, and steels herself for a fight, or being ignored.
"Hello. Did you make a lot of money arm wrestling?"
Merrick isn't easy to find, especially alone. She spotted him at the First Day celebration surrounded by people he was swindling for money, so she had to wait. But today she manages to find him alone, and steels herself for a fight, or being ignored.
"Hello. Did you make a lot of money arm wrestling?"
Her distance from Merrick makes Ellana realize how distant she's felt from the other Asharas lately, and that results in her searching Skyhold for Gavin. There was a time she could consider him to be an older brother, and she doesn't want to lose that feeling completely. She has no family, and despite making new friends, she doesn't want to lose the old. In order for a friendship to work, both people have to meet in the middle, and she hasn't exactly been reaching out to him lately. But she'll remedy that now.
"Gavin," she calls once she finds him. "Are you busy?"
"Gavin," she calls once she finds him. "Are you busy?"
Despite the fact that they are now into winter and are stationed in the mountains, Skyhold continues to be mostly temperate due to the hot springs underneath. That leads Ellana to take a book from the library outside in order to read in the natural light. The library is so dim and cramped; it's a wonder anyone accomplishes anything inside there. Today she sits on the grass by the barn, her back against a tree as she flips pages in her book. She looks rather absorbed, but after a minute she looks up to clear her head and spots Galadriel nearby. Pleased to see her, Ellana waves.
"Aneth ara," she greets warmly. "How are you today?"
"Aneth ara," she greets warmly. "How are you today?"
Back in the clan, Ellana was hearthmistress. It was a fancy title that simply meant "light the fires and gather wood to keep them going." It was a task for her to do where she could use her magic to help make the work go faster. Her Keeper hoped it would give her purpose, because Ellana hadn't been allowed to learn Keeper magic, nor was she taught how to lead a clan or protect them. But it really hadn't been enough to stop Ellana's heart from wanting to roam.
Now she sits cross-legged on a table in from of the fireplace in the great hall, staring into the flames and remembering the clan. It may be that she's a little homesick, but not near enough to want to pack up and leave the Inquisition. In fact, now that she's away from the clan, she's pretty sure she doesn't want to return on a permanent basis. She'll visit, if they'll allow it, and the Keeper always lets Gavin come back, doesn't she?
She turns when she sees movement, and it's Varric coming to stand beside the fireplace. She offers him a smile, then asks, "Do you miss Kirkwall, Varric?"
Now she sits cross-legged on a table in from of the fireplace in the great hall, staring into the flames and remembering the clan. It may be that she's a little homesick, but not near enough to want to pack up and leave the Inquisition. In fact, now that she's away from the clan, she's pretty sure she doesn't want to return on a permanent basis. She'll visit, if they'll allow it, and the Keeper always lets Gavin come back, doesn't she?
She turns when she sees movement, and it's Varric coming to stand beside the fireplace. She offers him a smile, then asks, "Do you miss Kirkwall, Varric?"
"Oh sure," Varric ceded, because that was definitely the sort of statement that contained some inherent level of surrender. "Probably as much as anyone can miss Kirkwall."
Out of habit (A terrible habit, but that was hardly surprising. Varric wasn't really the sort of dwarf who threw in with good habits.), Varric cracked his knuckles and stretched his hands toward the fire. Ellana was on the table and Varric came to an ambling stop, halfway between the cross-legged elf and the actual fire.
"It's a terrible place but it's home." He shrugged and cast a sidelong look at Ellana. She had a very pensive look about her, the sort of look that wanted conversation but wasn't quite 100% on what that conversation ought to be. Whatever had her staring at his (excessively stoked) fireplace, she was still mulling it over. "You planning a trip, Lilac? Because you should really choose a better destination than Kirkwall."
Out of habit (A terrible habit, but that was hardly surprising. Varric wasn't really the sort of dwarf who threw in with good habits.), Varric cracked his knuckles and stretched his hands toward the fire. Ellana was on the table and Varric came to an ambling stop, halfway between the cross-legged elf and the actual fire.
"It's a terrible place but it's home." He shrugged and cast a sidelong look at Ellana. She had a very pensive look about her, the sort of look that wanted conversation but wasn't quite 100% on what that conversation ought to be. Whatever had her staring at his (excessively stoked) fireplace, she was still mulling it over. "You planning a trip, Lilac? Because you should really choose a better destination than Kirkwall."
Ellana exhaled a soft laugh, shaking her head no.
"Not Kirkwall, no. I was just thinking about the places we've all left behind, whether we left to join the Inquisition, or had to leave for other reasons. For me, this is such a change. I've been with my clan my whole life." And there's nothing wrong with that; she's just always wanted more.
"I get letters from a few people back there, but I just found myself thinking of them, and what I would be doing right now if I was still there. Probably this." Ellana waves a hand towards the fire. "I kept the fires lit."
"Not Kirkwall, no. I was just thinking about the places we've all left behind, whether we left to join the Inquisition, or had to leave for other reasons. For me, this is such a change. I've been with my clan my whole life." And there's nothing wrong with that; she's just always wanted more.
"I get letters from a few people back there, but I just found myself thinking of them, and what I would be doing right now if I was still there. Probably this." Ellana waves a hand towards the fire. "I kept the fires lit."
Sina is on poultice duty near the healing tents, encouraged not to stray too far in case something happens. She'll return to the garden soon enough, but for now she's just trying to make herself useful.
When she sees Ellana approaching, she smiles at her over her mortar and pestle.
When she sees Ellana approaching, she smiles at her over her mortar and pestle.
"It is, actually," Ellana replies, pleased that she isn't catching Sina off guard. She wouldn't want her to be startled, especially since she resembles a skittish animal in her manner sometimes. "I thought you might benefit more from having one-on-one lessons instead of being grouped together with everyone else. It's different for Dalish mages. We aren't cooped up in Circles and learning in big groups." It should be noted that Ellana actually has no idea what lessons in a Circle are like, and is just making assumptions.
"So would you like that? I thought that as someone on the Council, I could give the lessons."
"So would you like that? I thought that as someone on the Council, I could give the lessons."
Although Sina remained gentle in tone, she quickly cut through what she assumed to be pleasantries. "It's because of the shard," she guessed, and though her smile remained-- she wasn't angry, nor did she want Ellana to think she wasn't appreciative-- she wanted to make sure she understood every angle.
"That would be fine," she said, for added reassurance.
"That would be fine," she said, for added reassurance.
"Your shard is the reason you need the lessons more than others," Ellana explains. "But not the reason I want to teach you one-on-one. That's because I know... you can get a little apprehensive around crowds. And with all these mages from different backgrounds coming together to learn from one another, there may be misfired spells, arguments, and pretty much organized chaos. I wanted to spare you from that, and from the possibility of your shard acting up."
It's good to know she has Sina's approval, but Ellana wants to be clear that she is thinking of her friend's needs and not just looking at her as a strange shard with a person attached.
It's good to know she has Sina's approval, but Ellana wants to be clear that she is thinking of her friend's needs and not just looking at her as a strange shard with a person attached.
Again, Sina hesitated, and appeared on the verge of disagreeing. She pursed her lips and looked aside, considering.
"Crowds do make me nervous," she conceded, "but I... seem to have given the impression of being a wilting flower." She smiled, but it was turned inward, self-effacing. "My duty to my clan is to learn what I can, however I must, and salvage their First for the future. That includes acquiring knowledge I wouldn't have necessarily considered useful back at home. ...and interacting with people that Clan Dahlasanor would have spurned or killed on sight." Her eyes went distant as she mulled it over, and after several long moments, measuredly met Ellana's again.
"I will defer to your and Pel's judgment on how this is to be done, because you're of the People and I trust you both to have my best interests at heart. But I am not afraid."
"Crowds do make me nervous," she conceded, "but I... seem to have given the impression of being a wilting flower." She smiled, but it was turned inward, self-effacing. "My duty to my clan is to learn what I can, however I must, and salvage their First for the future. That includes acquiring knowledge I wouldn't have necessarily considered useful back at home. ...and interacting with people that Clan Dahlasanor would have spurned or killed on sight." Her eyes went distant as she mulled it over, and after several long moments, measuredly met Ellana's again.
"I will defer to your and Pel's judgment on how this is to be done, because you're of the People and I trust you both to have my best interests at heart. But I am not afraid."
It's probably the most Sina has said at one time than Ellana has ever heard before, and it helps her see a new side to Sina too. She does give the impression of a wilting flower; of one who needs protecting. But to hear that Sina both recognizes it and rejects it is something Ellana can respect and admire about her.
"All right. We can start with just the two of us and see how your shard reacts. If you want to join up with the others later, then you can let me know." Because it would be Sina's decision to make; not Ellana's.
"All right. We can start with just the two of us and see how your shard reacts. If you want to join up with the others later, then you can let me know." Because it would be Sina's decision to make; not Ellana's.
It's been a few days since the party. Merrick has since...recovered, and is now spending a few moments alone, perched on one of the walls above the training area. It's fun to watch the soldiers bash each other, and he lurks a while, pipe smoldering between his lips.
He isn't doing all that much to stay hidden, so Ellana can spot him easily enough. He glances up at her, expression hard to read, and shrugs.
"It was a good enough haul." Enough to get himself some new armor and a pair of blades, which he plans on shopping for soon.
He isn't doing all that much to stay hidden, so Ellana can spot him easily enough. He glances up at her, expression hard to read, and shrugs.
"It was a good enough haul." Enough to get himself some new armor and a pair of blades, which he plans on shopping for soon.
"That's good," she replies with a nod, feeling relieved that he's at least acknowledging her. She hasn't planned out what she wants to say, thinking it'd be better to see the situation first. How Merrick responds to her will determine what she says.
"It's strange earning money, after so long in the clan." But she likes earning it, and is still saving up for a lute of her own. After a moment's thought, she moves to sit on the wall with a person's width of space between them. Watching the soldiers train is a near-daily activity for her, so she doesn't pay them much attention right now.
"I've missed spending time with you," she admits quietly.
"It's strange earning money, after so long in the clan." But she likes earning it, and is still saving up for a lute of her own. After a moment's thought, she moves to sit on the wall with a person's width of space between them. Watching the soldiers train is a near-daily activity for her, so she doesn't pay them much attention right now.
"I've missed spending time with you," she admits quietly.
'Earning', she says. Merrick almost lets out a snort of laughter, but instead keeps the same level expression as he looks down below again. The hollowness in his chest he feels at the sight of her hasn't gone away, and his apprehension is visible in the slight downturn of his ears.
He can't think of anything to say.
He can't think of anything to say.
Oh, well this isn't good. She bites her lip, waiting a moment, but the silence stretches on. Her eyes stay on the ground below, unable to meet his eyes. But she draws in a breath, wanting to at least try and salvage this.
"Merrick," she begins, "I'm so sorry. I know it was an invasion of your privacy, but I didn't want you to freeze. I would have listened to you if you weren't in danger of dying, I swear."
"Merrick," she begins, "I'm so sorry. I know it was an invasion of your privacy, but I didn't want you to freeze. I would have listened to you if you weren't in danger of dying, I swear."
"A noble profession," Varric said with such sagely sincerity even he was shocked that he'd managed it with a straight face. Then again, while he would joke about most things, he didn't joke about being warm and, between Skyhold and Haven, he had developed a distinct appreciation for a well kept fire.
"But, then again, if you were there, you'd be missing out on all of the end-of-the-world excitement and charming dwarven company," Varric added a moment later and rubbed his hands together in front of the fire.
In a more serious and less flippant tone, Varric continued: "It's not unusual to miss home, to miss the people left behind, even if your home is less exciting or, in my case, a cesspit with excellent architecture."
"But, then again, if you were there, you'd be missing out on all of the end-of-the-world excitement and charming dwarven company," Varric added a moment later and rubbed his hands together in front of the fire.
In a more serious and less flippant tone, Varric continued: "It's not unusual to miss home, to miss the people left behind, even if your home is less exciting or, in my case, a cesspit with excellent architecture."
Merrick's grip on the wall tightens. The way her voice sounds just then-- If this were just a few weeks earlier, he'd have wanted to turn and tug her into his arms, bury his fingers in her hair and sing any note to chase those sorrows away. Now, he just feels like the hollowness in his chest has spread to his arms and legs, and that the wind will cast him away if he releases his grip on the wall.
His silence drags on even after she's finished speaking, stretching until the point of snapping before he finally responds.
"I'm not angry with you."
His silence drags on even after she's finished speaking, stretching until the point of snapping before he finally responds.
"I'm not angry with you."
Edited 2016-01-12 06:18 (UTC)
Ellana could only give him a look. It hardly felt noble at the time. It was easy for her to do it with her magic, but it was something that anyone could do with ease and hardly anything that set her apart.
"That's what I figured. Even if I don't want to go back, I miss them." Realizing what she's said, her head lowers a little. "I mean, I do want to go back eventually. To visit. I don't think I could go back and live there permanently again." Which probably isn't a surprise to the others in the clan. After Gavin, Ellana is the one most likely to run and not look back.
Only maybe she'll look back a little.
"Will you return to Kirkwall, after all this is over? And don't say anything like 'provided I survive.' Think positively."
"That's what I figured. Even if I don't want to go back, I miss them." Realizing what she's said, her head lowers a little. "I mean, I do want to go back eventually. To visit. I don't think I could go back and live there permanently again." Which probably isn't a surprise to the others in the clan. After Gavin, Ellana is the one most likely to run and not look back.
Only maybe she'll look back a little.
"Will you return to Kirkwall, after all this is over? And don't say anything like 'provided I survive.' Think positively."
The words don't sound real to her ears. How could they be? The two of them aren't anything like they used to be.
"But you've been ignoring me. We don't talk anymore. The gifts-- I didn't know they were from you, but now that they've stopped, I know." And it's too much. Her eyes squeeze shut and she tells herself firmly not to cry. That won't do any good. She waits, not willing to speak and have her voice waver. When she's ready, she asks, "If you're not angry, then why?"
"But you've been ignoring me. We don't talk anymore. The gifts-- I didn't know they were from you, but now that they've stopped, I know." And it's too much. Her eyes squeeze shut and she tells herself firmly not to cry. That won't do any good. She waits, not willing to speak and have her voice waver. When she's ready, she asks, "If you're not angry, then why?"
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