Yup, what's goodie

[clawings]

WHO: Erik Stevens & Y'ALL
WHAT: Checking things out, buying some stuff, reading books, &c
WHEN: ooc: December | ic: Cassus
WHERE: Exploring Kirkwall and the Gallows, &c
NOTES: Erik curses but that's probably gonna be it

→ I got all the sounds, got plenty; open

[ Here are a few places one can find Erik within the Gallows on a regular basis:

The Library: Reading a little bit of everything, actually but focusing on recent history reports, whatever passes for science fiction, books about the Fade, and books about religion. Oh and a book or two on elven culture. Shh.

He's here at all sorts of hours but mostly between 11pm and 5am, apparently not sleeping very well otherwise. Why else be in a library at prime sleeping time?

The Smithy: Erik is fascinated by this area and mostly writes notes about whatever process he's allowed to observe here. Leave his little engineering heart alone about it! (Or don't, actually. Bothering him is preferable to the narration.)

The Herb Garden: Because he's curious if he recognizes any plants from home. Spoilers: he doesn't, but he keeps coming back anyway, usually in the early afternoon.

Training Area: Sparring with swords and spears, because there's no excuse not to stay in shape. Also there's a war on? So. Come gawk at the man. It'll be fun.

Anywhere else: He explores the entire Gallows during his quarantine and then does it again afterward, so consider this an open invitation to wildcard me.
]

→ You should ask around, my city; open

[ Erik discovers the market district in Lowtown and spends an inordinate amount of time there, mostly browsing, but occasionally buying small items. A scarf at one point. Close to the middle of the month he is clearly looking for something specific - jewelry, it would seem. He picks up bracelets, necklaces, earrings, but doesn't seem to settle on anything for a while.

You can also find him in the occasional tavern. He hates drinking alone; join him? ]

→ You should get to work, get busy; closed to athessa & vanadi

[ Erik left a note at Athessa's. Now he just has to wait for them to show up. So he's chilling in the herb garden, again, this time at sunset. ]

Comments

[sulahnan]

She's just being ornery, [ She steps up to the horse's side and gives her a nudge with her elbow, just hard enough for the mare to exhale so N'Jadaka can fasten the cinch properly. ] But yeah if you ride out with a loose cinch the saddle will slip sideways and you'll land on your head before too long.

[ The horse tosses her head and nickers, but otherwise doesn't seem too put out that her attempt to foil their tacking efforts is thwarted. Athessa fetches up the bit and bridle next. ]

My clan had a couple horses, halla, chickens, and one of the hunters had a falcon, but I never really learned to handle birds.

[clawings]

[ Ain't trying to die again so soon, he chastizes the horse, but he smiles his thanks at Athessa. ]

I tried to do some reading in the library about, [ he makes a gesture, here, in Athessa's direction, ] elves who don't live in alienages, so I wouldn't have to ask you a question every five minutes about your folks and your life before, but I gotta say the books sound like bullshit.

One of these goes in her mouth, right? [ Pointing at the bit and bridle. ]

[sulahnan]

[ She has to laugh about that. Reading about the Dalish in the library. Anything he's bound to find in there would be bullshit. ]

Yeah, it'll put a bit of pressure on her gums to make her easier to steer. Not all the horses we've got need 'em, actually, but this one— [ She gives the horse an affectionate scratch down her blaze, and shrugs to N'Jadaka like well. You know.

She offers him the headstall and points out what part goes over the mare's ears and where it fastens. ]

You're not likely to find any books about Dalish elves that aren't written by humans. It's partly because it's tradition for clan Keepers and Hahrens to pass down the knowledge we've worked to preserve, and because...hm. [ She has to choose, here, whether she wants to say they or we. How Dalish do you feel today, Athessa? ] Historically, our relations with humans haven't been great, so most Dalish prefer not to be known.

[clawings]

A troublemaker, huh?

[ He's careful about the placement of the headstall, mostly being aware of teeth and his fingers and the closeness of one to the other.

He listens to her explanation of the situation with the books he'd read, nodding along. It makes sense. Humans are nosy fuckers, but also just fuckers in general. ]

What's a Hahren?

[sulahnan]

[ Now there's a word that's been used to describe both the horse and the elf. Troublemaker. ]

It's a really important old person.

[clawings]

Ah. [ More words for the word learner. ] Do you miss your folks a lot? Your family, I mean, your clan?

[ He presumes most of them are related to one another, or at least close enough that it doesn't matter.

He can't imagine it isn't hard. ]

[sulahnan]

I do, yeah. [ It's the kind of admission she wouldn't have made a year prior, when she was caught up in ignoring that she had a past at all. ] Even though at this point I've been without 'em longer than I had 'em.

[ All that's left to do after fitting the headstall on the horse is to clip on the reins and go riding. Athessa drapes the reins back over the pommel of the saddle once they're in place, and pats the mare's neck. ]

A Hahren is like an elder. And a teacher. Keepers are spiritual leaders and mages, with a responsibility to train any of us who show magical skill.

[clawings]

That sucks.

When my father died I spent almost ten years in foster homes. I dunno if they do that here, but they're these places where people raise kids who are wards of the state because they've got no family or their family was seen as unfit to care for them. It's bullshit. I got emancipated as soon as my ass could, which was sixteen.

[ And, hey. He's successfully prepared a horse for riding, with Athessa's more than necessary help; now he just has to actually get up on the creature. Easier said than done, he's sure. ]

Hand here, foot there, swing up and over?

[sulahnan]

Yep, you should be plenty tall enough that you won't need a leg up.

[ Rather than tack up Stief the great red elk, her usual steed, Athessa makes short work of getting one of the other horses ready to ride so that she can hop into the saddle without stepping into the stirrup first. It's a bit like climbing out of a pool without a ladder. ]

Around here, if you're orphaned and have no other family, you're more likely to end up on the streets or in a workhouse somewhere. Between those two options I figure the chance of dying is about the same. [ With a click of her tongue she guides her horse over to stand in the aisle between the rows of stalls, waiting to make sure N'Jadaka is able to get the mare to walk on his own. ] I know the word emancipation, but what does it mean that you got emancipated?

[clawings]

[ He manages to get in the saddle just fine and takes a moment to a) settle in this strange position atop another living creature and b) watch Athessa get on her horse through sheer (what he presumes to be) leg and core strength. It's impressive. ]

Some places are still like that, with workhouses. [ He thinks he knows how to do this; dig his heels into the side of the horse (but not too hard) and making a clicking sound with his tongue, right?

It gets the mare going which is startling all on its own, despite knowing he'd have to move with the animal eventually. ] It meant that I was seen as a legal adult at sixteen. Could make my own decisions and whatever, live on my own. I went to a military school almost as soon as the ink was dry, though.

[sulahnan]

[ She's listening as actively as she can while still watching his form to see where he needs direction and where instinct has him covered, nodding understanding of the information given, but still focused enough to instruct: ]

Try not to grip the reins too tight; you don't gotta pull very hard to get her to go where you want. If you feel unsteady, best to hold on here — [ Athessa pats the pommel of her own saddle. It sits up off the horse's shoulder just far enough to get a hand in between hide and leather. ]

Would asking you what military school is like be a boring question for you to answer? [ There, back to listening and participating in two conversations at once.

She has to wonder what it was like for N'Jadaka to escape from familiar circumstances, and the urge is there to share her own past — orphaned at thirteen, deposited drugged and bleeding on a brothel's doorstep at sixteen, on a ship to Rivain at seventeen — but telling him feels far different than telling Vanadi or Bastien. ]

I left Kirkwall to go to Rivain when I was sixteen. I don't think I would've survived this long if I hadn't.

[clawings]

[ He adjusts his grip and lets the reins settle in one hand while the other rests against the pommel. There's still something unsettling about moving while riding another animal, but he's pretty sure the first people to ride in an automobile probably felt the same way. It's all a matter of what you're used to, he guesses.

The new normal. ]

It was hell. I was small. I was younger than most of the other boys, I had a chip on my shoulder. I wasn't from a military family, I was singled out a lot. But I had something to prove, too. I wanted to do well. I didn't think I had any other options.

[ He considers what he knows about Rivain. It isn't much. Still: ]

That's a long boat ride.

[sulahnan]

Mm. [ A nod in the affirmative, and when Athessa"s horse starts walking toward the stable doors, N'Jadaka's mare follows. One of the stable hands opens the doors and shuts them behind the pair, leaving them to blaze their trail. ] Long time to spend seasick, that's for damn sure.

But I also didn't think I had any options. Would you do anything different, if you had the chance?

[clawings]

Not at that point. I could've gotten into so much else, so much worse. I think I did the best with the information and skills I had at the time.

Later though... [ He shakes his head as the horses continue on. Swallows and glances at the horizon in front of them. ] I made a lot of calculated choices that got me nothing but a trail of bodies in my wake.

[ And if he's here, when he's supposed to be dead, well. He can and does like to imagine it's a second chance, to make better choices. Maybe live a better, longer life.

Maybe. He is aware there's a war on. ]

[sulahnan]

[ Athessa watches him, rather than where they're going. He's nervous enough to be hypervigilant, so she can afford the distraction of trying to read his expression, his body language. She already has one note of criticism, but it can wait. ]

Did they deserve it? [ She's no saint herself; there are a few people who would be alive now if it weren't for her, people who didn't deserve the fallout from choices she's made, but N'Jadaka's guilt feels more...direct. Pointed. First-hand. ]

[clawings]

[ It's not that he has to think about whether or not it was deserved, it's... more thinking about how best to put it. Either way, there's a thoughtful pause on his end before he answers. ]

It could be argued that some definitely didn't, [ he says, pulling a bit of a face where all his mouth goes into one corner. He's sure someone would say that about the museum curator, for instance, but he wouldn't necessarily agree. ] or at least, didn't deserve to die by my hands specifically.

[ Like his ex. ]

[sulahnan]

Well, you're in good company. I don't think there's a single person here who hasn't got a death like that—or many deaths like that—hanging over them.

[ For all the deaths she's had a hand in, she can hardly judge. Maybe it was different for him, because there's a war on here and there might not have been in his world, but...well. ]

Do you regret it?

[clawings]

[ He agrees that he's in good company but that has a lot more to do with being in her company than anything. ]

I dunno, [ he admits, ] 'cuz, on the one side, shit was fucked up. On the other I probably wouldn't have ended up here otherwise, I figure.

[sulahnan]

[ That has to sink in for a beat. ]

Is being here really enough of a positive to cancel out the fucked up-ness of the other shite?

[clawings]

It could be.

It's different as hell but it's a chance to start the fuck over. To do better. Wouldn'ta gotten that chance, back home.

[sulahnan]

Huh.

[ Athessa Approves, +10. She doesn't know too many people who would react to being ripped from their own reality with such grace; she certainly wouldn't. If she died and woke up in Kirkwall, she'd be pretty thoroughly convinced she'd done something to offend some deity that chose to punish her for eternity. ]

You ready to go a bit faster? [ Their horses have carried them at a respectful pace to the drawbridge out of the city, and there's still more for N'Jadaka to learn about riding. Like how to stay in the saddle at speed. ]

[clawings]

[ Erik has considered that this is punishment; he deserves it, he knows that much. But he isn't always sure when there are things he likes about it, on how the suffering evens out in the end.

He can't spend all his time frozen in fear, thinking about how it could all go sideways. He has to move forward, or at least move. With that in mind he tries to engage his core and nods at Athessa. ] Hopefully I don't fall the fuck over.

[sulahnan]

[ She grins at him and laughs, not at him. ]

Do you dance, N'Jadaka?

[ The clip-clop of horse hooves on cobblestones takes on the richer, more hollow sound of hooves on wood as they start to traverse the drawbridge. ]

Or sing? Play an instrument?

[clawings]

I dance, sometimes. [ He puts the reigns in one hand and waves the other in a so-so motion. ] Prolly don't look nothin' like dancin' 'round here, though.

Can't sing for shit. Never learned an instrument.

What about you?

[sulahnan]

Sure, all three. [ But enough about her. ]

You just gotta feel the rhythm of the hoofbeats, and stand up in the stirrups in time with it. Otherwise your butt will just bounce on the seat and you're more likely to fall off.

[ With a click of her tongue, Athessa urges her horse into a trot and demonstrates for a few beats before looking over her shoulder to watch him follow suit. ]