AFTERMATHEMATICS

[sulahnan]

WHO: Athessa, Madi, and YOU
WHAT: post-Dream catch-all
WHEN: after part 2 of dream time
WHERE: The Gallows/Kirkwall
NOTES: tags will be slow, brain still bad

[ starters in the comments ]

Comments

[sulahnan]

"All the more reason to share the load." Many hands make light the burden, or something like that. Athessa shrugs and lets her hands fall to her sides, tired of holding them out.

"Unless you want me to leave."

[bouchonne]

"No," he answers, even though in his heart the feelings are more conflicted. "Not at all. I'd quite welcome the help."

[sulahnan]

She looks at him, regards him, and tucks the corner of her mouth into one cheek.

"Do you wanna talk about it? Or do you wanna pretend that nothing happened?" It's not goading, or condescending. It's an offer. He may not be wearing his heart on his sleeve, but he's not exactly acting himself, either.

[bouchonne]

He looks off to the side and gives a small shrug.

"A feeling is a feeling," he says, his voice quiet. "I shall not attempt to dissuade you from having it. It would be an insult, and futile besides."

[sulahnan]

"Me?" she frowns. Who said anything about Athessa's feelings?

"I'm fine, I was trying to give you an out from talking about your feelings."

[bouchonne]

He looks back at her, brows slightly furrowed. "Why would I ever talk about my feelings?" he asks. "They're hardly worthy of attention or discussion."

[sulahnan]

Athessa shrugs and the corners of her mouth tug down to make a C shape.

"I'unno, why would we talk about mine? They're not even interesting!"

[bouchonne]

A one-shouldered shrug. "Because they affect you," he replies. "Though I'm perfectly well pleased never to chat about feelings at all, if that suits you."

[sulahnan]

"By the same token, yours affect you, too."

This is some kind of weird impasse, neither one of them intending to talk about their own feelings but acknowledging the mere presence of the other's. Though if anything, Athessa thinks Byerly's are the ones at risk of making things awkward.

"But sure, we can just...only ever talk about unimportant things. Like work." She holds her hands out again to see if maybe this time he actually puts something in them.

[bouchonne]

But Byerly looks at her like she's half-mad. "Work is important," he says. "Far more important than anything that happens in my petty life."

[sulahnan]

"Not nearly as interesting though," she counters. Hands: still empty.

[bouchonne]

Doubly incredulous - "And far more interesting." Then, finally, he picks up a scroll and hands it to her, saying - "Here. Nothing too sensitive. So if you feel tempted to countermand me in it, it'll have little enough impact."

[sulahnan]

There it is.

"Last I checked, I don't have that authority."

But she'll take the scroll and look at it, anyway.

[bouchonne]

"Last I checked, you were not terribly concerned with what you did or didn't have the authority for," he replies dryly.

"Just draft up a reply. Polite regrets, et cetera." It's an invitation to a party from a merchant too low in status to take notice of.

[sulahnan]

"In reality, or in the dream?"

It isn't as though she's gone over the division heads' heads much at all in the waking world, except perhaps where her curation of informants within the city guard is concerned. She sits down and fetches up a piece of fresh parchment and a pen for this response.

Esteemed so-and-so, thank you for honoring us with your invitation, blah blah blah.

[bouchonne]

A half-shrug.

"Is the actions in the one one not a reflection of the intents in the other?"

[sulahnan]

"Nope," is an easy disagreement, for which she pauses in her writing. She doesn't need to try and talk while writing and accidentally write what she's saying instead of what actually belongs in this letter.

"You can't put reliable intention on actions carried out under contrived circumstances."

[bouchonne]

"A lack of faith is a lack of faith," he says, and signs his name to the document he's working on. No trouble here with simultaneous writing and speaking. "And it's understandable. You have no real reason to trust me."

[sulahnan]

"So you keep telling me," she finishes the letter and hands it over for his approval. Maybe it's fine, maybe it's not, she's not the most familiar with this sort of missive.

"So are you trying to tell me that you acted completely yourself in that mess?"

[bouchonne]

He takes a moment to read it over.

"It's a bit too deferential," he says, then hands her back both the letter and a new sheet of paper. "Don't be sassy, but don't be quite so respectful."

Then, with a small sigh - "Everything I did in that dream grew out of my feelings about people in some way or another."

[sulahnan]

"Hardly complimentary," she mutters quietly. To think that Byerly's feelings for her grew into such condescension and disregard, enough so that were it not for the reveal that it was in fact a dream, she would have left the company altogether.

She clicks her tongue against the back of her teeth, looking the letter over again and starting a new reply: So-and-so, While we appreciate the invitation to attend, blah blah blah, Regards, etc.

[bouchonne]

His lips tighten. And he says, clipped, "I'm trying my best, Athessa."

Another signature on the page.

[sulahnan]

"To do what?"

Seems a fair question, even asked somewhat absently. She passes the new letter back.

[bouchonne]

"To not ruin everything." His voice roughens. "To - pull this organization together. To stand against Corypheus."

[sulahnan]

Athessa studies Byerly's face, hearing the vocal shift and trying to determine its provenance. Anger? Sadness? She's never been able to tell one way or another with any accuracy.

Except when he's worried, she knows what that looks like, now.

"That's not something you can do alone."