[closed] RACK YOUR BRAIN

[lumelume]

WHO: Bastien, Edgard, Mado, Nikos
WHAT: a seminar on torture devices, given by people who know nothing
WHEN: early Cloudreach
WHERE: the countryside around Hasmal
NOTES: we're shaving Bastien's mustache. also cw for incompetent torture I guess

This had been a perfectly standard scouting mission, a small party sent some days north of Kirkwall to investigate alleged Venatori activity in the region. What they find is just that, but not in the way they might have imagined: it's a fallen caravan, the colors and heraldry surrounding the wagons identifiable as Tevinter if not Venatori, the occupants and their horses long gone.

Upon further inspection, it seems that there was a small contingent of Venatori on their way to a salon at the home of Ailbert Chins-Ranton, a wealthy Marcher who has been, up till now, otherwise unremarkable. Amidst their belongings is a letter addressed from Messere Chins-Ranton to a Hortensia Bambalio and her husband, Marcus, inviting them to attend a salon where they can showcase their 'marvelous discoveries'.
The marvelous discoveries in question are a case full of what appears to be torture paraphernalia, devised by (if the nameplate is any indication) one Titus Pasilias, an artificer local to Vyrantium, who was commissioned for this purpose and, as it would seem in the letter, is quite enthusiastic about demonstrating his creations on an unfortunate slave named Manius.

These four were to attend a salon at Chins-Ranton's country manor this very day, and the party has just enough time to rifle through the caravan's supplies to determine who among them will be whom.

Comments

showtime

[lumelume]

[The party was received with unexpected ease, considering how quickly they had to throw themselves together for this event. They've been shown in, offered drinks, chatted up and directed to the open parlor space allotted for their use, where they were encouraged to set up and alert the lord of the house when they're ready.

Enough time has passed since then that it would be unwise not to move things along. Mado is tasked with choosing instruments from their carrying box; Bastien, with showing them off and describing their purpose; Nikos, with 'demonstrating' them, and Edgard, with... screaming appropriately.

The first apparatus is this.]

[cozen]

This—

[ Bastien-as-Hortensia says it as portentously as a woman with a cold can manage.

The feigned cold is to compensate for his accent, which is just a not-quite-perfect Marcher accent with some snobbier inflection. The best he can do to approximate Tevinter on such short notice.

His gender presentation, on the other hand, is perfectly counterfeit, mostly because he doesn’t oversell it. He carries himself like a woman with broad shoulders and big feet and a deep voice, who’s learned to be what she is instead of to make a fool of herself feigning daintiness. A little self-conscious, but stubbornly assertive despite it.

And currently brandishing the contraption she’s been handed for their little audience. ]

—is a Bulb of Anguish.

[ The Bulb of Anguish is passed to Nikos straight away, in hopes he’ll know what to do with it and can be narrated instead of instructed. ]

[muckspout]

NO! NOT AGAIN! [Edgard stage whispers and falls to his knees.] I WILL TELL YOU ALL OF MY SECRETS IF ONLY YOU WILL NOT---BULB ME AGAIN.

[Light theatrical weeping.]

[exsecutus]

[For fuck's sake, Nikos thinks, but does not say it. At least it's a stage whisper. Better than a shout, which would absolutely feel like a screw driven in to Nikos' ear, torture in of itself.

He takes the Bulb from Lady Wife Bastien and brandishes it imperiously. The good thing about acting as a knowledgeable rich prick is, no one questions you when you act short with them.]

Used but once, the mere sight of it causes mental distress. As you can see. If that distress is too loud for you, [he flips it over, displaying its end,] insert the bulb into the mouth, turn the screw, and silence the prisoner.

[To Edgard,] Do you want to be silenced?

[lumelume]

No need to get blood all over the lovely hardwood!

[Lady Hortensia's esteemed husband has been standing at her side, enjoying the show (and, of course, watching the crowd). He beams as he steps forward, withdrawing another apparatus from the case.]

My dear, I have always wondered about this one!

[cozen]

Ah. The Wishbone—for how it makes one wish for death.

[ Bastien takes the device, pauses to give his head a practiced little shake to get his wig out of his eye, and holds it up in display. ]

While your guest is getting to know the bulb, you may permit them to lay their heads here, within the bars.

[ Also passed to Nikos—though Bastien does hold a hand out to offer to take the bulb of pain back, if it isn't going into Edgard's mouth. ]

i'll put myself in jail for this joke don't worry

[muckspout]

[Edgard grimaces grotesquely in horror with his hands on his face at Nikos' offer and watches as the bulb passes back to Bastien. He falls backward with a thunk when the wishbone is shook.]

NO! [He cries.] New and stranger tortures? [He crouches on his knees.] I, a mere slave, never heard of a Wishbone! What's the story?