[closed] if you're here and I'm here then who's flying the plane

[katabasis]

WHO: Flint & Yseult
WHAT: Trust exercises
WHEN: Immediately pre-hasmal invasion
WHERE: Near Hasmal
NOTES: will include content warning in subject lines if applicable

It's almost guaranteed that their contact has utilized the flow of refugees across the border and toward Hasmal as a cover to pass into the South, though they aren't meant to meet them in that. Doubtless every breed of intelligencier currently peddles their trade there, for if an agent of one secret network might slip in that direction then why not agents of all?

Rather, after crossing the broad width of the Minanter on one of the point-nosed ferries (in the company of a pilot with a near supernatural skill for weaseling extra coin out of pocket, but who tactfully neglects to intervene in the debate his passengers are engaged in), they hire a pair of horses and turn west toward what is allegedly an all but forgotten trading post by the name of Drake's Landing which is said to boast such luxuries as a nearly empty inn and the cheapest drink in the political tri-corner.

At some point—perhaps after the fourth or fifth narrow bridge that they have to coax the horses across, for the landscape is threaded through with twisting offshoots of the Minanter—Flint remarks, "If we come this way again, it would be faster to row in."

Maybe that's how the Venatori beat them to the Landing. Or maybe the ferry pilot had a raven in the little cabin at the back of his boat who had carried word of a certain notable captain of Riftwatch swiftly North.

Regardless—

Comments

[hassaran]

Yseult measures the space of that silence in heartbeats, uncommonly aware of each pulse, the resulting thrum of blood through her body. She tries to set that aside and focus on Flint's explanation, carry the threads of those thoughts forward to some conclusion. It's painful to breathe deeply, a struggle to stay both shallow and slow.

"If Starkhaven alone is enough, it must be wrong." She's less sure than she sounds, the line of logic slippery in her grasp. "She'd have asked what we'd planned." Wouldn't she? "The wait to confirm we're not holding back. Or the magic wasn't urgency, just changing the game."

[katabasis]

For an untethered beat, he nearly follows that lead—the tempting impulse to interrogate some unknowable motivation, to take some wild speculative shot in the dark after some target they have fully imagined the dimensions of.

Then, clipped— "We'll know for certain if she doesn't return in the hour. Tell me if the bleeding continues."

Maker only fucking knows the fully effects of that ugly knife. Or how to measure the passage of an hour in the pitch darkness with nothing but suspicion, the thud of his pulse heavy in his knee, and the uneven shape of Yseult's breathing. But it can't have been that long by the time that Flint raises his voice to call for the guard. It's a bark to carry over gales and regardless of whether it sounds hoarse and compressed in this little storeroom, there can be little doubt that someone will have heard if they're listening. That someone will come if they are required to.

Instead, silence is the answer both in this hour and in reply to any successive attempt to draw attention down to this little storeroom. There is no lamp to keep lit. There is no water in a well turned wooden cup. True to Fidan's word, no one at all attends to them in the long stretch that follows.

[hassaran]

The bleeding gradually slows to a stop over what passes as an hour. Not for good, as over the following however-many the wounds prove themselves easily reopened with even careful movement, edges tugged on with every breath or shift, the singed fibers in her shirt catching in the scab. Aside from another conversation about what they intend to say should anyone ever answer Flint's shouting, a revisiting of what it might mean that they have not yet done so, Yseult is silent.

That long stretch drags on, until broken finally by a soft slide of cloth against wood followed by a loose thump of flesh deadweight against dirt, the clank of shackles. There's a muffled sound of pain, and then a scramble of limbs and chain moving away from him followed by retching and ragged breath. She spits, and says, hoarse, "There's the infection."

[katabasis]

There it is.

In the dark, wrists raw from the shift of chain and iron and throat raw from the attempt to hail some answer from the beyond the storeroom door, it's easy to imagine some sour tang lingering in the air on behalf of it. It's the memory shape of the scent—putrifaction and poultices in combination—which comes to permeate every lower deck surgeon's ward and for'ard bulkhead space in the aftermath of bloody fighting. If it isn't real here yet, then it lies in wait alongside fever and disorientation—more ravenous, he thinks, given the lack of either water or fresh air.

"Someone will come before it's run it's course."

He has decided to be confident on this point. What use is there in contemplating the alternative (though in the back of his head, he does compulsively make to turn it over; if they were to leave her here—)? Meanwhile, so long as someone comes then there are options yet available to them.

"I don't believe I ever thanked you for that book."

[hassaran]

It takes Yseult a moment to respond--the too-quick huff of her breath intermittently held in silence is explanation enough. By the time she's regulated it to no longer fill the space between them, she's worked out what he means. "For Satinalia?" Mostly. "I can't remember what it was."

[katabasis]

He makes himself wait, to be patient though that dark and the quiet from beyond the door is designed to induce the opposite. There is a natural instinct to be repelled by the possibility of being discarded and forgotten; he refuses still to think overlong about that hole Valeriantus had been cast down.

(If they die in some stuffy Hasmal cellar as a product of all that, he will have a few complaints.)

"And here I thought it might be some pointed character assessment. It was the account of a Rivaini sea captain," he says. "He disappears across the Amaranthine."

[hassaran]

"Oh. The Alrazin." She laughs, very briefly, as it comes back, and swallows whatever pain that must cause. "Did you enjoy it? I thought it seemed doubly appropriate."

[katabasis]

(On a ship, canvas is rigged to funnel fresh air through open port hatches down to the surgeon's orlop, is a stray thought and inconsequential to the extreme under their present conditions. Though is it surprising that any impulse honed over thirty years should stick?)

The sound he makes hums low in the dark, reservation and affirmation both.

"Irritatingly, yes."

[hassaran]

She makes a sound like a smile, like that's precisely the reaction she'd intended. (It was.) "Are you wishing you had followed his example?"

Once, in a momentary fit of impracticality, Yseult proposed to Darras that they give up their careers and sale off across the Amaranthine themselves to explore something other than the depths of Thedas's shadowy underworld or the yawning gap between their moral codes. As all good partners should he took up her slack, took on the temporarily abandoned role of realist to raise doubts sufficient to sink that idea in its berth. It wasn't Riftwatch then that drove her to suggest it, but Yseult thinks of it now. Did Alrazin meet a better end than this? Maybe, maybe not. If nothing else he was certain of his priorities.

[katabasis]

"Right in this moment? Possibly."

Although there are plenty of ways to be miserable on a ship, particularly one which has fallen off the edge of the world. Certainly they're all more romantically imagined than sitting on a floor in a dark room with a shattered knee, but what practical difference does that make?

"But ordinarily, no. Not really."

Bold words from the man who'd all but told her and Byerly that he'd given defecting from Riftwatch serious consideration.

[hassaran]

Who hasn't? They didn't have all those dreams for nothing.

Yseult is both generally uninterested in philosophizing and ill-equipped for the sort of abstraction it requires. And impending death isn't about to increase her patience. But the sound she makes--the second one, after a little hum of agreement that being elsewhere might be preferable--is sort of musing, both on what he's said and on what she might say next, which ends up being:

"Are you sure you're not already? The double meaning of the gift was intended more as warning than suggestion."

[katabasis]

"I'm not sure the Viscount would be entirely pleased to hear that you consider Kirkwall the equivalent of disappearing from the map."

No, her intended meaning hadn't gone entirely over his head then any more than it does now. But he's had his proverbial knuckles slapped for pontificating once already. Why press some broad point when she's plenty miserable all without his assistance?

[hassaran]

"He might be relieved if it did," might not quite make sense grammatically, but anyone who's seen Bran knows he was already tired when he took over the job ten? fifteen? years ago.

"I don't know how long I'll remain lucid," she says after a moment or two, with some of that deliberate matter-of-factness that is so often irritating in meetings. "If you should escape, I would appreciate it if you told Darras that I said I'm sorry."

[katabasis]

There are men who would, given the extent of their current circumstances, take this as license to reassure. Tell him yourself, he might say. Or that he isn't leaving without her. Or some nonsense about how ridiculously overdramatic she will feel when, in a few hours' time, she has been seen and tended to. It's a natural impulse, isn't it? To dismiss the sort of concern she's speaking to when there's so little that can actually be done to alleviate the cause.

More dismally, equally unspoken: if she dies, it seems highly unlikely that he would return to Riftwatch any time soon to make those apologies for her.

But if either thought occurs to Flint in the dark (and they must; this isn't the first time he has sat in a cage, and he has argued similar points to himself before), neither shows. His ready answer, without preamble—

"I will. I'll see that he hears it."

[hassaran]

"Thank you." Yseult can at least be relied on not to make it any more dramatic than anything so near to death inevitably, inherently is. If it can't be done, it can't; if it can, it will. That's as much certainty as anyone can reasonably ask for.

"I've been nearly killed a number of times," she says, in the same tone in which someone might comment on a town they've visited before, "Several in ways that felt quite stupid. I confess I'd rather thought if I survived all that, it would be for something. Not storybook heroics," to head off mockery, "but this is a bit of a waste, isn't it."

[katabasis]

In the dark, it's difficult to say whether he looks at her or not. But maybe he does, fetching out the vague outlines of her shape from the gloom and measuring them. After she falls silent, he's quiet for a beat after which must indicate the turning over and examining of a thought, not that he doesn't have one or twelve. It's the shadow of a checked impulse. Then—

"In this room, yes. It is." Has he ever seen a death that wasn't a waste? That wasn't both more and less brutal or consequential than it was meant to be?

"But if we're right and Tevinter goes in the direction we imagine, then Riftwatch will need to be moved to be effective. You and I may not be particularly popular members of that company"—has the brittle curve of dry humor to it, though it lands less effectively than it might without a look to punctuate it—"But it's a good story. And someone will find a way of turning it to their advantage."

[hassaran]

Yseult's thinking less of deaths she's seen than those she hasn't, deaths avoided or imagined. Blades she's stepped in front of, people she would not have minded dying to shield or dying beside, some it might even have been worth dying to kill. If she'd met her end on the field at Ghislain, or in Taviano's cabin, or on the side of a road twenty-five years ago, would that have been better somehow? Maybe it's just pride that's soured this, sucked any sense of purpose out of it. They could at least be killing her for who she is. That's too stupid a thought to say aloud.

"Silver and Bastien will manage it, I'm sure. Between them they might even convince the others they liked us after all. Perhaps that's best for everyone. Riftwatch gets a unifying tragedy and more pleasant leaders, and we don't have to bother with it anymore."

[katabasis]

He has some sense of it—the indignity of the thing. Not just here in this room, but in what he's posed. There is a certain lack of satisfaction in seeing some post by the roadway to which some burden must be carried and then being made to set it down before passing it. Fine. Someone else will be as capable of carrying it. That's true. But it's a long fucking way to have come for no discernable—What? Reward? Had that been the point in picking the thing up to begin with?

(No. But yes.)

"Who said anything about being unpleasant?"

[hassaran]

"You said unpopular." Close enough. "Do you know, before I joined I thought about putting on a charming act, but decided it would be better to simply be professional, treat the Inquisition as I had my previous employer. The honest approach full time, for a change. A very foolish mistake, in hindsight."

[katabasis]

He doesn't laugh, but there's something to the timbre of his breath in the dark which suggests the impulse.

"I'd considered the same."

And reached a similar conclusion, clearly.

[hassaran]

"It's not even that much less tiring this way," she says, with a similar tinge to her voice, like she might laugh if it weren't for the gut wound. "Perhaps if we survive, we could claim a change of heart. Or head wounds so severe they've altered our personalities."

starts chess clock (but also no pressure sad lmf @ my own damn self)

[katabasis]

"Byerly would accuse us of being brainwashed by blood mages before we'd gotten halfway up the tower. Luckily, he'd keep it between us for a year. So it might still work with the general company."

Is it reassuring that even in a dark room leagues removed from the Kirkwall's war table and every possible ulterior motive that Flint will still opt to take the cheap shot at the Ambassador? Probably not. But—

"Your being honest wasn't a mistake. I might have benefitted from a similar tack."

[hassaran]

"You might. Or at least from more convincing dishonesty. This middle path you've chosen was the worst of both worlds."

She still sounds more dryly amused than anything, like his secret agenda--its existence an open secret since the Nevarran Papers even if its details remain obscure--is a sort of almost-charming eccentricity. It's difficult to be too concerned with its potential for future complications just at the moment.

"I can live with mismatched priorities." A beat. Even drier: "I very literally do. It's knowing there's something I might trip over in the dark but not what or where that I can't abide. Blood magic might at least provide some refreshing certainty."

[katabasis]

In a different place, it might rankle against the suspicious instinct that he has been honest enough. That half certainties must be adequate, and that anything more is a dangerous luxury, and fuck whoever demands a debt of him.

Here in the dark, Flint snorts.

"Is that all? I'll see if I can't conjure any if by some miracle we do leave here."

Of their own volition. If it's under the power of the Venatori and she isn't just left as a corpse on the floor of this store room, he expects they'll have little choice on becoming better acquainted with the practice.

[hassaran]

"After twenty years a spy," is a verbal shrug of explanation, "Dangers don't trouble me half as much as unknowns."

Several months from now when Byerly demands the identity of her (former-ish) employer and laments the lack of trust her refusal inspires, perhaps she ought to feel some pang of hypocrisy. Perhaps the effect of fever on the memory can be blamed for the fact that she doesn't.

"You might tell me now. There's little to lose with the chance I'll remember slimming by the moment."