faderift | OPEN | I'll search for what's in front of me

There may be no perversion in his gaze, but being so seen is still just... a lot. It leaves Allumin a bit rattled, on edge.

"Well, you've done that, and now that you are here you should probably take the time to wash yourself," he says, hoping that perhaps the young man has some clean clothes to change into at least.

He himself needs to finish washing up now that his hair is clean, and he can't let the discomfort of being perceived deter him from that. He moves over to where a modest little pile of his things sit with a towel and stands so he can carefully wring out the water from his hair before tying it up and out of the way.

Cole's gaze slides back over to Allumin, lips curled into a little frown at the suggestion. When it comes to matters of being human, he...still has some blind spots, unfortunately. The concept of bathing is one of those, or washing his clothes - when one goes so long without being seen, it just doesn't seem to make sense to scrub off.

An owlish blink.

"Why? I am only going to get dirty again."

If Allumin could be surrounded by a cloud of question marks, he would be right now. Really? Has this person never bathed? Never? Now he has to do something about it.

"Have you ever smelled something so awful that you had to cover your face or walk away?"

He stares down Cole as he says this.

"Because if you do not bathe, you will become that thing."

More staring. More blinking. Cole can feel him getting upset from where he's crouched, and he just tilts his head like a confused puppy. What does his bathing have to do with anything? It's only dirt.

Right?

No one had ever told him he had to before, after all. They were busy staring, or questioning what he said.

"I can't just become a corpse from not bathing," he slowly replies. "At least, I don't think I can."

Allumin's alarm only continues to grow. Cole only looks to be a few years younger than himself so there's no way that he's lived twenty-some-odd years without ever having washed himself. There couldn't be.

"Oh I can think of a few ways you could actually. Poor hygiene can lead to illness, infection and then eventually - yes - death," he explains, tone a bit agitated. This is just so upsetting to him! Never bathed? Ever? Ever???

He is really getting upset about this, isn't he? For a moment, the strange boy thinks hard - and now, he hasn't really ever thought to take a bath beyond standing in the rain or wading in shallows. At the very least, it hasn't been quite so long as it looks from his appearance...the real Cole must have bathed at some point - but the Spirit who had taken on the mantle just didn't see a point.

"Oh." The tone doesn't make it sound like he understands. "I don't know if I can get sick. I suppose I can get poisoned. I think I can die. I'm not sure, certain, secure."

"If you can be poisoned then surely you can get sick. And what do you mean, you think you can die? Everyone dies here as far as I know."

One thing that he'd found particularly strange here was what he'd learned, however vaguely, about elves and their loss of immortality long ago. Cole looks human - so it shouldn't even be a question that he will die one day.

Right? Right?

He's so baffled by this, he doesn't understand at all how someone could live like this. Why someone would CHOOSE to live like this...

Oh.

This man is getting very upset, isn't he? Over such a little thing. Spiraling, scared, scrambled. It's a rising sort of panic, and while Cole can feel that he isn't the root of it, he has definitely caused some sort of...upset.

What the elf needs right now is a win.

So, wordlessly, Cole reaches up to take off his hat, setting it aside - his hair is caked in sweat and grime - and starts to undo his leathers.

At first, he just stares in shock. And then, he realizes that it is terribly rude to stare at someone while they're undressing outside of certain consented upon situations, and his face goes red as he turns to look away.

He doubts that Cole has any sort of soap, so he is fully prepared to share his with him once he's in the bath - and then he realizes something he should probably ask.

"You have clean clothes to change into... right?" Please say yes.

Cole doesn't really have a concept of self-consciousness about his body - it simply is what it is, and he thinks little of it. So the staring is barely even noticed, barely registered. He's pale, and so, so thin...like he's just barely there, a slip of a thing ready at any time to shuffle off this mortal coil and into the next.

He is also, unfortunately, pretty caked with dirt, grime, and...is that dried blood?

At the question, he looks up, brows furrowing in confusion.

"...No?"

"Wh--y--I--how--j--hmMMMMMmm--" He shouldn't be surprised by this, if Cole has never really bathed before, but.

He crosses one arm in front of him, the elbow of the other resting on the back of the hand held close to his chest, and he holds a closed fist to his mouth, looking at Cole in disbelief again. His lips are pressed into a tight line behind that fist, eyebrows tightly wound together as he tries to figure out how he's going to deal with Cole's clothing situation aside from simply giving him a set of his own. He could, certainly, but he also has a bit of a worry of one of three things happening: 1) Cole puts his dirty clothes back on and then follows him to the group quarters, 2) Cole attempts to follow him unclothed to the group quarters, or 3) Allumin tells him to stay in the baths while he fetches the clothes and he does, presumably, but is gone by the time Allumin returns with clean clothes.

He could try cleaning the younger man's clothes here and now with prestidigitation, but that... will take a bit.

He hates the feeling that he should take responsibility for Cole and his poor hygiene, but there doesn't seem to be anyone else that has taken the time and he can't keep living like this, so... Great. More stress he didn't ask for.

Calm as can be, Cole finally finishes stripping down, setting his things down in a pile before stepping over to wade into the water. There is a distressing ripple of mud that comes off of him, and he just sort of...sits there, unsure what to do.

He does feel the anxiety radiating off of Allumin, even if his voice hadn't been so pinched, and he attempts to fix him with a reassuring look. Maybe not the most reassuring, given what he has to say.

"It's okay. I'm okay. Spirits aren't like most people."

Edited 2021-09-14 06:39 (UTC)

At that, his mouth flaps open and shut uselessly some more as he struggles to figure out what you even say to that - to all of this. His mind is just nonstop screams right now, and if he's going to be of any help to Cole then he needs to not have a complete breakdown in the baths.

"W-well, spirit or not, if you're going to be a person part-time then you need to take care of yourself better, and washing up and wearing clean clothes is a part of that," he finally manages to say, then waves Cole over to him.

"Come over here - I'll wash your back for you and then you should be able to figure it out and wash up from there."

"Oh."

Again, Cole is confused - but at least this time the reason the elf gives him makes some kind of sense. It's also, strangely, one of the more even tempered reactions he has been given to the admission that he is a spirit. Sort of.

Nodding, he scoots closer to Allumin, turning away from him and awkwardly waiting. He's silent for a minute or two before finding words. "...What is...your name? You are not from here."

He takes in a breath, accepting the reality that is him helping a spirit bathe (how does he even have a body?) and carries on, cupping water in his hands and pouring it over Cole's back first. He does his best to do this at a slow, gentle pour instead of just splashing water on him - it feels like that would only startle Cole or something.

"It's Allumin," he says, moving on to wet down his bar of soap. He places a hand lightly on his shoulder first, more to let him know that the touch of the soap would be coming than for any actual assurance of any kind. Allumin does his best to be careful as he rubs the soap up to a lather, considering how fragile Cole looks and feels physically.

In spite of his confusion over this whole thing, it does feel nice as the water trickles over him. The soap is nice too, smelling delicate. Delicate feels like a feature of this fellow, and it carries across in his gentle touch. Cole sits still, allowing Allumin to work on him. Figuring he should help, he starts to try and work the dirt out from under his fingernails.

"Cole," he offers in return. A beat of quiet. "...You're afraid of forgetting. I won't make you, then."

Having finished soaping up Cole's back, Allumin dips the bar of soap in the water a couple of times and cleans off any dirt now on the bar. As he sets it aside, there's the comment about forgetting and he freezes for a moment before letting it go.

"You can make people forget things?" he asks, a very clear undercurrent of fear now in his voice.

Unfortunately, saying that he wouldn't make Allumin forget him is not a great comfort. He doesn't ask how he knows this, as it's not unusual for a spirit to know things even in his home world - but also as he's come to understand things here, it is especially typical since spirits can become demons.

Oh, no. That must have been the wrong thing to say.

But he just promised a moment ago not to make Allumin forget. He has to try to fix this without starting over, and he tenses up a little, looking over his shoulder.

"I can make people forget me, seeing me, talking to me," he tries to clarify, his voice a quiet quiver. "Sometimes I just don't stick anyway. But I don't want to do it to you. I can't make you forget anything that isn't me."

He shifts in the bath, turning a little bit so he can fix the elf with a look of worry.

"Please don't be afraid."

There is a part of him that wants to ignore all signs of worry within Cole's face, form, and voice. To ignore them in favor of prioritizing his own insecurity. But he also knows that wouldn't be right to do, and he's trying to explain and pleading for Allumin to feel different than how he does.

He swallows, thinking over Cole's words. His eyes lock on the gaze cast over his shoulder, and he nods.

"Alright. But you have to promise. I want a written oath from you on that. If you break it, there will be consequences."

At first, Cole doesn't know if Allumin will calm, and he worries that he has broken this conversation beyond repair...so it's a relief when he concedes, even with conditions attached. The Spirit nods a couple of times, though his brow furrows -

"I...I can promise. But I can't write very well."

He wonders what kinds of consequences this man wants to apply to him, but does not ask. It seems fair.

The nodding and Cole's words are enough to console him, at least enough that he isn't afraid to reach out and continue the act of helping Cole wash up. There is the tentative presence of his fingertips first, affirming that his touch is there before using the whole of his hands to rub the soap in and work the grime off from his skin.

"That's fine. We can have someone write down a dictation of your word for you to sign, and then there's also a witness to your promise should you break it."

Somehow, treating this with the lens of professionalism makes his anxieties lessen.

The scrubbing feels...nice, actually. Lightly, the spirit shuts his eyes, listening both to what Allumin is saying and what he is feeling. Making deals, but written. Proving them in case something goes wrong. No more tenuous deals with beings...or books. Trying to stay afloat. Something inside remembers.

It's easy to understand. Why he doesn't want to forget anymore.

"Okay. I don't mind. But I don't know who to ask to assist."

Edited 2021-09-20 23:22 (UTC)

"We could ask anyone, really," he says, continuing to work the lathering soap around to work free caked on dirt and grime. This may be a rinse and repeat situation, he's coming to realize...

"As long as they are willing and can write on your behalf, although I suppose the most official way to go about it might be asking someone from the Diplomacy division to handle it? But it doesn't need to be that official, I think. A witness taking down your oath and your signature is fine."

He dips his hands into the pool of water and swishes them around to get the soap and dirt off of his hands before cupping them and pouring water over Cole's back to rinse what's been loosened at least. As he does this, he thinks about how even though this is a formality on both sides, it needn't actually be that formal of a document.

Cole really doesn't much know what to say to all of this. He understands and doesn't understand all at once, unsure why this man is willing to trust that he will keep his word only if he puts those words on a piece of paper first.

But, like him getting in this bath, Allumin seems to need this. Making deals on his terms. "Okay," he answers simply, scrubbing silently at his skin and his scalp and watching the dirt fall free.

"...You have so much hair," he suddenly spouts, glancing back over his shoulder. "This must take you a long time."

OPEN | I'll search for what's in front of me

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