faderift | OPEN - Follow me home, if you dare to

Entry tags:

OPEN - Follow me home, if you dare to

WHO: Cole and YOU!
WHAT: Catch-all for Cole's first month!
WHEN: September
WHERE: Various - the Gallows, Kirkwall, possibly TBD
NOTES: Astarion thread: CW - Mentions of abuse, torture, murder, and starving

If you want something special, let me know and I will write us a starter! And a reminder, you can fill out Cole's permissions HERE if you would like him to read your character's pain/past!

Starters in comments.

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Why isn't he? Mado thinks on it a moment, but doesn't have a good answer-- not because he doesn't know, necessarily, but because it never occurred to him to fear Cole in the first place.

"There are far more frightening people out there than you, amico," he says amiably, "people who ignore the world, or worse, take pleasure in cruelty. You have an odd smell, I'll give you that, but it's not an evil one."

Right then, Cole does something that he seldom if ever does.

He smiles. It's small, and it's flimsy, but it's there. Mado is saying such kind things to him, about him. It's new, novel...nice. He's quiet for a moment, letting this sink in, before finally:

"...What is...'amico'?"

Mado beams.

"It's Antivan for 'friend'," he replies cheerfully, "have you not met many Antivans?"

Oh.

Oh.

"I have met a few," he rasps, slowly. "But they fear me, and I make them forget, so they can be free. I've never heard the word for friend before."

It's been a really long time since someone has used the word friend for him at all. It makes him feel a little more...placed. Placid. Solid. Seen.

Feeling seen is half the battle, really.

"Here's to hearing it more!" Mado chirps, raising his fist in lieu of a glass, since neither of them are drinking anything.
"Are you hiding from someone?" It's a sudden pivot in the conversation, but it makes sense to him.

Cole can definitely attest to that.

He doesn't quite understand the motion - but he mirrors it, awkwardly, looking from his fist to Mado's and back again before lowering it. The sentiment, at least, is nice. He still feels a little skittish, but Mado's hurt reminds him of his own, of the real Cole's.

The question comes out of nowhere, but it also doesn't catch him by surprise. Conversation hardly makes sense to him in the first place. "Not exactly. People just usually can't...see me. I stay hidden, hardly there. Sometimes people still slip though if they need me."

"Then how lucky I saw you!" Mado's smile directs out toward the courtyard, easy and pleasant.

"Though I wouldn't say I need you, not like that! I'm glad you're here, if that counts."

"You...are?"

In his memory, Cole doesn't believe he has ever been told that before. Even with Rhys, it had been complicated...Rhys had cared, but he wasn't really sure he was ever exactly GLAD to see Cole, not this simply. There were always reasons attached. That never made Cole sad, it was just how it had been.

He's quiet for a long moment, mulling over the statement...and then, reaching out gingerly, he rests his hand on Mado's arm. It's shaking, and a little cold. But it's there.

"You needed a new friend. I think. That's why."

At Cole's light touch, something breaks through before Mado can stop it-- no one has ever wanted you, you've had to invent a ghost to be your friend-- and for a moment, a deep and lightless well of something cracks through the sunny veneer.

But just like that, it's gone again. It's swallowed, pushed back down where it belongs, untouched and undiscussed.

"Probably," he says lightly, with a smile just as easy as before, "we probably both did." That much is clear, anyway.
"Have you been to Kirkwall before?"

And naturally, Cole feels it. He knows. He hears it, the hurt, hurtling out from deep inside. He knows, but he also recognizes it. This certain type of hurt. He nearly looks like he might cry, but he doesn't.

Mado is hurting because he's doubting that Cole is real, that he could be making the new friend that he needs.

Cole himself doubted that he was real, once. But he knows now. And so, without saying anything about it, he relaxes his powers completely, letting the other people bustling past see him. Some of them glare, some of them murmur, but they see him, sitting right there next to Mado.

"Yes. I think so."

He tries not to look at them, mouth going dry. His voice is a croak as he answers the question.

"I have been. Yes. I've traveled, traipsed, traversed all over."

With the unseen and unspoken difference, Mado's tension relaxes, but only slightly. The boy is bringing something out of him that he prefers to keep hidden, and his manner has begun to resemble that of an uncertain dog with the whites of his eyes showing.
Something is strange, and new, but he's certain only that Cole means him no harm and is no reason to be scared away.

"What's your favorite place you've ever been?"
It's mindless conversation, but he's got nothing else to give.

Cole would never begrudge Mado his anxiety. He understands. He knows it's hard.

He also doesn't begrudge the light conversation. That's just what Mado needs right now. It's alien to him, but he tries to keep with it anyway, stretching out one leg in front of him so his posture is just a little less closed.

"...I don't know. I liked Skyhold," he muses. "When I was there. Lots of people to help, and who wanted to help. I hope here will be the same." A beat. "What...kinds of music do you do? Play?"

"All kinds!" Mado replies, naturally effusive once more-- it's clearly a topic he enjoys, warmth filling his entire bearing at the mention of it.

"Most things, I can sing or play them after I've heard them."

Oh. That warmth is nice, it's better. Cole stares at Mado in wonder at the answer, eyes going wide.

"You can? Just like that?"

The Spirit enjoys music, when he thinks about it. But he doesn't know how to play anything, and isn't sure where he would begin if he tried.

"Just like that!" The good humor of his smile dispels any actual bravado-- no doubt, if he were to try and mimic a piece but make a mistake, he would laugh about it.

"Do you know any songs?"

"That must be wonderful," Cole muses, mesmerized by the thought.

The question, on the other hand, is met with a confused furrow of the brow.

"...I...I don't know. Not enough to sing, I don't think. The Fade has a different sort of song, and my voice is...." He stops, all-too-conscious of his own rasping, dusty tone.

"It does?"

Immediately Cole has Mado's attention, and he's gazing at him wide-eyed.

"What sort? Will you tell me?"

It's not that he's unfamiliar with the Fade, being a mage and having dreams and all that, but he's never known there to be a proper song tied to it.

The interest surprises him - as so many things seem to - but the earnestness makes him feel a little warm inside, and a tiny smile tugs at his lips as he tries to find the words.

"It's hard to describe. I hear it all the time, and it sounds a little different around everyone. It carries what they need to me. I...."

He pauses, reddening just a little.

"I could try to hum it, a little, if you...if you like."

"Please!"

Watching him, Mado gives the impression of a dog gazing raptly at some desired object in a window, utterly transfixed.

"O-oh. Okay, I...ah...."

Nervousness washes over him as he tries to pull himself together, to listen to the Song, to find it...and then, swallowing hard, dipping his head so that the brim of his hat hides his blushing, Cole starts to sing.

There are no words, and at first, the notes seem atonal, crude, hoarse...but after a few seconds, something starts to happen. The tune starts to assert itself, the rasping boy's voice turning into Something Else, something ethereal, something...inhuman. His shoulders loosen from where nerves had drawn them taut, and, for this moment?

Compassion lets himself be heard, lilting and flute-like as he vocalizes the Fade.

Mado simply listens all the while, his attention fixed and his eyes wide, his hands now clasped tightly and resting atop his folded legs.

More than one person stops to observe this in alarm, the activity around them gradually slowing to a halt as the sound carries across the courtyard.

It's a minute or two more of this before Compassion realizes just how much he has lost himself - and all the sudden, Cole snaps back to reality, face deeply reddening as he realizes that people are staring.

On the one hand, it ought to be clear to Mado now that he is real.

On the other, he had just drawn a bunch of attention, singing a song that may well have scared some people.

"...Ah," he stammers, hands moving up to tug the brim of his hat down around his ears, "I d-didn't mean for that to get so...so loud...."

"No!" Mado gasps, the trance broken as he hurries to press a reassuring hand to Cole's shoulder.

"It is a beautiful thing, and we are all the luckier that you shared it with us!" The passersby might disagree, but he's not concerned with their opinions; at any rate, they continue on their way, the spectacle ended.

"The world can be so unkind," Mado persists, in a lower voice, "and perhaps all a person has at times, is his voice. Don't let anything stop you singing, amico."

There is just a moment, a flash where Cole flinches as Mado moves to place the hand - but when it only rests, when it doesn't hit, he relaxes a little, letting out a shuddering breath and releasing the brim of his hat so his eyes can be seen again, shimmering as they are.

He's still red, but the words do a lot to reassure him - and he does his best to focus on his new friend, instead of on the acidic whispers of the passersby carrying on with their day.

At first, all he can manage in response is a nod, the ghost of a smile.

But eventually,

"...So you...you liked it, Mado?"

"I loved it," Mado insists, his smile gentle, "bellissimo. I would gladly hear it again any time you like."

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helpinghidinghaunting - 2021-10-18 19:57 (UTC) - Expand

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OPEN - Follow me home, if you dare to

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I lived I died I live again

\o/

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