Weekend at Ferdie's

[notathreat]

WHO: Ellie, Astarion, Nikos, Kostos
WHAT: Family road trip and also Astarion is there + oops their contact is dead, what now? WELL-
WHEN: Auguftempber
WHERE: Hasmal, Ferdinand's most unfortunate living room
NOTES: Murder aftermath, corpse misappropriation, misuse of magic, various hijinks

Comments

it's alive!!! (we swear)

[exequy]

This was a mistake.

Ferdinand's corpse shuffles, more than it walks. It requires assistance to keep upright. The tiny-minded wisp occupying the body has successfully learned how to turn the head this way and that, to open the mouth and flutter the eyelids, but it's so enamored with its success that it won't stop doing all of those things, over and over, with a discernibly steady rhythm.

Somehow, it is the smartest wisp Kostos was able to find. He sent three back before having to accept this one as good enough.

Escorting the body through the streets was successful enough, with the corpse dragging between their supportive shoulders and occasionally moaning like a drunk. But now the body is in a room with decent lighting, about to be face to face with someone who will want it to speak. Evergreen is due any moment.

"Shit," Kostos says. "Shit. We need another plan, this is. Shit."

[notathreat]

"No, it's... it's not that bad."

It totally is that bad, Ellie.

"Fuck," she mutters, and leans in to wipe away a dribble of drool leaking out of the corpse's mouth.

"... has any of you ever done... like puppets," she says desperately. A beat. She puts a hand in the air like a sock puppet, making a mouth.

"Be his voice. Like- my name's Ferdinand."

She affects a super low voice, but unfortunately she makes a stupid face while she does it. She would not be the best candidate.

[exsecutus]

Nikos laughs. Not loudly--he doesn't want to draw any additional attention to them. Two streets back, Ferdinand's corpse had moaned very loudly, and a woman in an elaborate hat had looked around with mild alarm. That was more disturbing than a laugh, but a laugh would still garner attention. He's moving a little ahead of the group, clearing their path with his presence, but he takes this moment to shoot a glance over his shoulder.

Met with the sight of the shambling reanimated corpse--not yet graying, but on the verge of doing so, its jaw hanging open so low it looks grotesque--he pulls a grimace of a smile. They're so fucked.

"Kostos," he suggests. "He's great at voices. Used to put on these brilliant little puppet shows. Mostly about one puppet murdering the others--or slaughtering a dragon--but they were good. Always thought he's missed his calling. Go on and show her, Kos."

They're so fucked.