faderift | SATINALIA

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SATINALIA

WHO: Everybody!!
WHAT: SATINALIA!!
WHEN: Backdated to the first day of Firstfall
WHERE: Gallows courtyard
NOTES: Drunkenness and shenanigans. HALLOWEENMAS!!

This Satinalia is, perhaps, less grand than in years past. Blockades are still limiting access to luxury goods, after all, so the fine liquors and dainty foods that have been featured before are nowhere to be found. And Tertia, the temporary Morale Officer, doesn't have the connections or deft touch of organizers past, so things are rougher than they've been before - the musicians are less polished, the ale a little more watered-down, the decorations somewhat haphazard.

But you know what? It's still Satinalia. Nothing can really screw up Satinalia. Especially because there are some rather lovely touches, the best of which might well be the ice skating rink. A section of the Gallows Courtyard has been roped off and frozen over with magic, leaving a (largely) smooth sheet of ice covering it. Skates are available to borrow if you don't have a pair. Of course, some injuries are definitely going to result (if you skate off the edge, you're smacking into stone instead of a soft snowbank, which can be disastrous), but hey, it's fun.

Other perks are the bonfires, with mulled wine and cider being served out of cauldrons around them, where people might sit and reflect while watching the flame. There's also dancing, of course, with the musicians basically being any band that's been recommended by members of Riftwatch - so there are lots of half-competent cousins-of-friends playing here. What they lack in skill they make up for in enthusiasm; this is the first gig for a lot of them, and they're thrilled to be here.

One thing that's missing is the Satinalia fool being named ruler. Tertia wasn't familiar with this tradition and didn't arrange it - so there's a last-minute campaign being held, in which people can either nominate others or self-nominate to be named Riftwatch's greatest fool to be celebrated.

Enjoy yourself. Exchange presents. Get drunk. Have a blast. Don't lose any teeth.

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It's nice, to simply... Relax. To settle down. There are some people that are aware of her losses - be they human or upon her hand, given their latest venture as an organised group - but she is well practiced in holding her head high and pretending as though there is nothing wrong with her. She can mourn, and she will, but it will be an intensely private affair.

Perhaps Byerly or Bastien may witness it, but they are uniquely positioned to offer her a support that no one else might.

Offering Ellie a small smile, her lip curving just so - on the edge of flirtatious, a touch coy - she shakes her head, warming herself with good company.

"Then why not play the one you've enjoyed the most since you have been here?"

Ellie's never been a creature of subtlety, so she discounts it, doubts it, and sets it smoothly aside. Her smile back is thoughtful as she taps her fingertips on the polished wood.

"Okay, I've got one."

It proves to be a tavern song, a funny one about a nug who becomes a hero in various battles by tripping various foes. He becomes a knight, a captain, a warden, and finally dinner when he trips up a viscount.

(He is, of course, delicious.)

It's not a song Sidony knows particularly - she does not spend much time in taverns, no more than she does anywhere that might have drunkards save her marital rooms - but the tune is a nice enough one, and the words work for their purpose, and so she smiles and nods along.

It's a nice way of allowing herself a moment to enjoy a simple pleasure, and that is remarkable in itself.

"I enjoyed that," she nods, expression brighter than it had been before. "I've never learned to play an instrument, so you may consider me suitably impressed by your skills. Have you played for a long time?"

"If you wanted to learn I bet you could," Ellie answers, but she's smiling again, feels confident again. It took her a while with the dulcimer, but it's become a good friend.

"I started when I was about fifteen. I learned to play on a guitar, it's like a lute but a little bigger. My um- my mentor, I guess? He taught me."

"A bigger lute. I am sure all the bards in Tevinter would be terribly jealous."

It's best, perhaps, to not mention why she might now fail with a musical instrument, and she instead tilts her head to offer Ellie a small smile. Sidony has not interacted with Rifters as much as perhaps she should have, especially when they seem to have more medical knowledge than she could ever consume, but it is hard when it seems as though their worlds are so much bigger, broader.

It makes her ache a little.

"It is a skill you have honed well. You should be very pleased."

"Are you flattering me, Sidony?" Ellie asks with a light laugh. She knows she means it, but it's high praise, and she can feel her cheeks flushing.

"If you need me to play somewhere, I will. It's not a big deal."

It's been time enough that she doesn't feel made a spectacle of anymore. That was another life, another reality.

"I have never flattered anyone unintentionally, no. I am being deliberately complimentary."

Which is true enough. She played games at court once upon a time, had been the pawn her mother had chosen, but she doesn't give flattery idly without purpose. She is genuine in her pleasure at the music Ellie makes, and there is no denying it.

Shaking her head, she simply watches Ellie, a smile settling on her face and staying there.

"Perhaps if Byerly and I ever celebrate our wedding again. That might be rather novel."

"All right," Ellie says with a grin, holding her hand up in surrender, but she leans back, giving her an assessing look.

"Do people really do that? Just have their wedding again?"

"It is common in the nobility, I suppose, if couples come to genuinely care for each other."

Sidony waves her hand idly, showing off her lost fingers without remembering she's lost them.

"Renewing vows, or making new promises. Romantic nonsense of that sort."

Ellie's just about to ask what those new promises might be, or if wedding vows expire, when Sidony lifts her maimed hand, and the shock of it hits her like trying to place her foot on a missing stair.

She probably pales for a couple of seconds, making her freckles stand out. Which is stupid. She's missing a couple of fingers herself, it shouldn't be shocking. But seeing it on Sidony is.

"What the hell happened?"

The immediate change catches Sidony off guard and her eyes widen - before they go to her hand. Of course. She had been trying to hide it, if not disguise it, but she’d almost forgotten in how she had been enjoying her conversation with Ellie.

Well. Here they are then.

“It was my sacrifice. Rather pointless, in the end, but here we are.”

"... sorry," Ellie adds, catching herself, realizing how strongly she'd reacted. Plenty of people came back maimed, some in visible ways, some not.

But Sidony...

Ellie shifts self-consciously, nodding.

"I didn't go," she says softly. "I stayed behind and kept watch. Everyone who went in..."

"It wasn't necessarily what we expected, no," Sidony agrees, frowning as she glances away.

In a way, she had been lucky. Bastien and Byerly had been there with her and that had been a great support when they had all given up something; theirs had been less... Visible than her own, but they had all chosen to do a sacrifice.

There's no denying that she is still struggling with it, however.

"It is done now, however, and I cannot do much else other than adapt."

Ellie glances down at her own fingers, biting her lip, the nods. She puts her fingers on the strings of her dulcimer, strums out a bar, then stops.

It's plain when she does this; it's an instrument chosen to work around her own missing fingers, so they won't handicap her playing too much.

"My guitar needed all my fingers," she explains, perhaps referencing her own for the first time. "So when I lost them, I stopped being able to play. But... Astarion found me this dulcimer."

She'd made it work.

Sidony will, too.

It’s not something that Sidony is entirely comfortable with at the moment, the idea that her fingers will be gone for good. She knows her husband and Bastien lost a great deal more - fingers are somewhat replaceable, after all - but it still hurts. It still aches. It makes her feel as though her grasp on her dreams is fleeting once again.

But she hasn’t given up this far, and she doesn’t intend to simply stop. Not if she can help it.

“I needed both hands for surgery, but that does not mean I will need both now. I have another hand and I will simply learn to use that. I’ve fought for years for this and I have no intention of stopping now.”

It's not an easy thing to come to terms with, and goodness knows Ellie's had her share of grief over her own. But it's a pain she does understand, and when she nods, there's a sense of acknowledgement, of respect.

"Good," she says simply.

"It doesn't seem like you to give up on anything."

That, at least, brings a smile to her face, and she laughs softly.

"I am glad someone seems to think so. It is a slow thing, but I am making it work. I fear I would not be myself if I did otherwise."

"Don't beat yourself up if it takes a little bit." Ellie shrugs one shoulder.

"And if you... y'know, hurts sometimes in bad weather. That's normal."

Sidony nods, turning her head down to look at her fingers for a moment, before she breathes out.

"I know of the pain of phantom limbs and difficult wounds. But I wonder, for the magical nature of this, will there be more? Or will it act as I know it should? That is the worrying aspect. Will there be more?"

Ellie tips her head. It kinda sounds like this is something that's been knocking around in Sidony's skull for a while, driving her crazy.

"What do you think might happen?"

"I don't know," Sidony frowns. "It was a magical injury, so there are any number of possible side effects. And who is to say that whatever did this isn't going to come back and ask for more?"

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SATINALIA

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