faderift | SATINALIA

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SATINALIA

WHO: Everybody!!
WHAT: SATINALIA!!
WHEN: Backdated to the first day of Firstfall
WHERE: Gallows courtyard
NOTES: Drunkenness and shenanigans. HALLOWEENMAS!!

This Satinalia is, perhaps, less grand than in years past. Blockades are still limiting access to luxury goods, after all, so the fine liquors and dainty foods that have been featured before are nowhere to be found. And Tertia, the temporary Morale Officer, doesn't have the connections or deft touch of organizers past, so things are rougher than they've been before - the musicians are less polished, the ale a little more watered-down, the decorations somewhat haphazard.

But you know what? It's still Satinalia. Nothing can really screw up Satinalia. Especially because there are some rather lovely touches, the best of which might well be the ice skating rink. A section of the Gallows Courtyard has been roped off and frozen over with magic, leaving a (largely) smooth sheet of ice covering it. Skates are available to borrow if you don't have a pair. Of course, some injuries are definitely going to result (if you skate off the edge, you're smacking into stone instead of a soft snowbank, which can be disastrous), but hey, it's fun.

Other perks are the bonfires, with mulled wine and cider being served out of cauldrons around them, where people might sit and reflect while watching the flame. There's also dancing, of course, with the musicians basically being any band that's been recommended by members of Riftwatch - so there are lots of half-competent cousins-of-friends playing here. What they lack in skill they make up for in enthusiasm; this is the first gig for a lot of them, and they're thrilled to be here.

One thing that's missing is the Satinalia fool being named ruler. Tertia wasn't familiar with this tradition and didn't arrange it - so there's a last-minute campaign being held, in which people can either nominate others or self-nominate to be named Riftwatch's greatest fool to be celebrated.

Enjoy yourself. Exchange presents. Get drunk. Have a blast. Don't lose any teeth.

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"Never really done it before," Clarisse admits. "So no, I wasn't planning on it."

Skating feels different. Nobody gives a shit if you suck at skating, but dancing is so, like... public. There are steps and shit that you need to know how to do.

"Uh huh," Abby says, uncaring, "You're dancing with me."

They can be shit at it at the same time, it'll be fun. Also she's gripping Clarisse's hand hard now just in case Clarisse gets any funny ideas about whipping her around a corner in retaliation.

She doesn't mind how hard Abby's holding her hand, and she doesn't whip her around any corners, either. It's dorky, the two of them just skating around like this, but she's also having fun just hanging out.

"Fair's fair, I guess." Clarisse pretends to think it over. Then, "If I dance with you, will you forgive me for making you eat shit a few minutes ago?"

Yeah, they've got the rhythm of it now. It's pretty fun, skating along and talking, and Abby has her balance more or less but it feels more sturdy to keep their hands clasped, so.

"Hmmm." She's already forgiven Clarisse for making her smack into a wall. It was funny, and she probably would have done the same thing if the shoe had been on the other foot. The skate. Ha

Abby sighs long sufferingly. "I suppose I could."

"Then you have a deal." She would've done it anyway, but shh.

They skate in silence for a minute. Abby's not so wobbly anymore, and Clarisse has lost some of the frenetic energy that had her challenging people to races and swinging them into walls. She's content to go slow, for a little while at least.

"This place isn't so bad," she offers up, finally, in a voice that's soft and almost embarrassed. She knows she was kind of a dick about it... for a while, with the dirty clothes and shitty attitude.

Fine by her. She's not staring at her feet as much while they move now, just flicking her attention back down as they're turning. She's loosened up her death grip on Clarisse again, so now they're just. Holding hands? Abby is making sure they stay together, obviously.

She nods, looking out across the rink. The vast majority of Riftwatch are dancing and hanging out around the bonfires. Abby cranes her neck and watches, fascinated, as Byerly turns in a circle in front of the band as they play. The motion causes his cat tail to spin outward from his body, and it whips somebody else who passed by too closely. This fucking place.

"Yeah." She's been completely entrenched in her own bullshit of late, but Clarisse is right, and Abby enjoys being here. "I've been here for a year," she adds suddenly, as if she just realised it. "It went by so fast."

Even though she's just said she doesn't think being here's that bad, anymore, Clarisse wrinkles her nose. She's been here, what, a few months? Time doesn't seem to be dragging the way it did when she first arrived and she was under quarantine and, to be honest, freaking out, but... a year?

A year is a long fucking time to be stuck anywhere.

"You want to go back home, though. Right?"

"Um," Abby says, thinking, "Not really.

I sorta came here from an apocalypse situation. Living here has been a lot safer." Even though there's a megalomaniac on a massive fuck-off dragon out there determined to kill all of them. Yeah.

There's stuff that Abby misses from home, obviously. Things, and people. But living in Thedas without the threat of the infected breathing down her neck at all times has been... kind of incredible? She makes a face. "I wish the people I left behind could come here, more than I could go back."

Huh.

Clarisse is realizing that they haven't talked about where Abby's from until now. She'd assumed it was some place similar to her own world, since Abby knows what movies are, and the Greek gods. Maybe even the same one.

"An apocalypse situation?"

"Yeah."

She knows her already, so may as well. "Same one that Ellie is from." She's actually kinda surprised Clarisse doesn't already know that?

"Oh."

Clarisse had no idea, but that explains Abby's cryptic comment about the two of them having "history".

She shrugs almost apologetically as she takes in the look on Abby's face. "It hasn't come up." She's been doing her best not to mention Ellie in front of Abby, and vice versa, whenever possible. So that's why, probably.

That's fair. She assumed Ellie would fill that gap, but here they are.

Abby shrugs, suddenly feeling awkward. She says, "Sorry," but she doesn't know what she's apologising for, it's just a filler word while she thinks of what she actually wants to say.

"She got here first. I think I was a couple months later." She doesn't seem bothered, talking about it. It is what it is. "We knew each other from before we got here."

Clarisse shrugs again, fixing her face so she's not gaping at Abby like a dumbass.

"It's fine. Not my business."

It really isn't. She can't deny she's been curious, and figuring this out is only making it worse, but... it's not like Abby owes her anything.

"You are hanging out with both of us," Abby points out, "It's gonna come up at some point." She's trying to say that it's fine if Clarisse is curious about it, that's all. Back when they saw each other outside of the baths she didn't want to talk about any of it but she's feeling more relaxed about it now.

Enough to have begun wondering if she overreacted, when she told Ellie she wanted her to leave her alone, anyway.

"I hang out with Ellie a lot. For the record," Clarisse admits. "And she knows we live together. But that's the only time I ever brought you up to her."

Clarisse might be a dick, but she's not the type of dick who goes around stirring shit just to marinate in the drama of it. Having this conversation with Abby, finally, is nothing but a relief to her, because maybe now it means she's not going to have to be all evasive whenever she leaves to spend with Ellie, which is what she's been doing up til now.

"So..." She trails off for a bit, looking up at the sky while she skates. "What's the deal with you two?"

A lot, huh. Ooookayyyy. Considering what they were supposedly doing in the baths together that could mean just about anything, but Abby's face scrunches up at the thought cuz it's not something that she wants to think about, like, at all.

And now she has to be the one to explain all the crap between them, huh. Well played Ellie.

Abby puffs out her cheeks and then exhales all the air out. She says, "It's- a lot."

Not kidding. So serious. "I don't want to put you off." Whether she's talking about herself or Ellie is unclear. Clarisse isn't looking at her, she's staring up at the sky so she adds, "I'll tell you, I don't really give a shit. But you should talk to her about it too."

"'Put me off'?" she echoes.

Like, if it's that bad, maybe they shouldn't be talking about it right here and now. Part of her is tempted, in fact, to suggest that they talk about it later instead, when they're alone in their room or something. But they're already in it, so what's the point?

It's Abby's claim that she doesn't give a shit that gets Clarisse to look over at her again. Yeah. Okay, sure she doesn't.

That's the problem. When do you say it? Abby has long since arrived to the conclusion that she doesn't mind telling people anything, it's having them know that's the hard part. Once they know about the past, they get to judge her by it; a bruised-peach part of her remembers a disastrous conversation with Gwenaëlle about this very subject.

"It's-" fuck, she's making it weird. Abby exhales, short and sharp. They are still skating together, and when she falls silent the only sound is the shhk shhk of the ice underneath the blades of their skates.

Finally: "I killed somebody close to her, and she got caught in the crossfire. Saw me end it. So she came after me to get even." And she really did. But that's enough for now!

Clarisse waits, but that's all Abby has to say about it, apparently.

She's left wondering why Abby assumed she'd be ready to drop them both once she heard the story. She gets why that would make the two of them not want to be around each other, sure, but it's not like she's disgusted by what Abby's just told her. It sounds... not great, but not like the worst thing ever, either, considering their situation back home. Understandable, even.

"Okay," she says finally, and clearly Not Getting It. "That makes sense."

Abby decides she's not gonna look at Clarisse while she's hearing this just in case she glimpses a hint of shock, or disgust. And then she has to look, because the silence is killing her, and Clarisse looks the same as she did sixty seconds ago, before Abby told her anything.

Okay, she says. It makes sense.

"... Does it?"

That's... good...

"Yeah. What you said makes sense to me."

She says it deliberately—to me. Maybe other people wouldn't agree. Maybe Abby was waiting for some other reaction. But in the very broad strokes Abby's outlined for her, it does make sense.

Also, Clarisse's extended family is fucking bonkers, so maybe her perspective isn't the most normal when it comes to the concepts of revenge and justice.

Oh.

Abby nods, and some of the tension goes out of her shoulders. She explains, "The reactions have kind of been a mixed bag." Byerly, for example, asked her: how old are you? like he couldn't believe somebody Abby's age could be capable of violence like that.

"She was here for a couple of months before I showed up. Scared the shit out of us when we ran into each other in Kirkwall, but we ended up calling a truce. That- time at the baths, that was a day or two after we broke it."

“I bet they have,” Clarisse says, with a sharp little grin. There are always people who are into thinking things over, or talking things out, who don’t fall to action first. Research, diplomacy, those types. She’s sure they gave Abby and Ellie a hard time about it.

“Well, you know. Peace is a joke.” She says it lightly enough that the line could be a joke itself; she’s not as wholeheartedly into the idea of destruction as she used to be. Still, she’s not totally kidding.

"Yeah."

Hang on, actually, Abby doesn't want to talk about this at all. Because she tried really hard to keep the peace with Ellie, but then she hit her down in the cellars, hard enough to break, and she wishes she hadn't. She can't look at Clarisse's little grin either. She feels briefly nauseous, and exhales tightly. "Can we talk about something else?"

It's kinda crazy how many times she's had to ask people to stop talking to her about Ellie, but there you go.

The sudden shift in Abby takes her by surprise. It’s like one second they’re having a normal conversation… okay, not normal, but shit, this is the first time Abby’s talked to her about anything real and hasn’t gotten annoyed or wanted to leave. And then she gets that look on her face and she won’t look at Clarisse and she wants to talk about something else.

“Okay. Whatever.” Is she offended? Maybe a little. Abby basically told her to ask about the thing with Ellie, but now she feels like she’s in trouble for doing just that.

“What do you want to talk about then?”

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