[open] so what did I miss

[altusimperius]

WHO: Benedict and you
WHAT: he's been [redacted] as the ambassador to Antiva
WHEN: mid-Drakonis
WHERE: the Gallows
NOTES: (alan cumming voice) moarder

I. The Docks, the day of the Revered Mother's arrival (just one thread please)

When Benedict steps off the ferry, it's clear that something is happening. People are scurrying about, there's an edge of tension across the plaza; he'd heard, obviously, of Riftwatch's doings in Starkhaven, but whatever this is seems more immediate and quieter in its bluster.
Waving down the nearest passerby, he asks: "what's going on?"

II. Eating

If only there were more tools to keep one awake through the day. Benedict hadn't even noticed that his dreams had stopped when he went off to Antiva, but now that he's back in Kirkwall, they've returned en force. He sits in the staffed dining hall with whatever the day's meal option is, stirring it idly with a tired, dead-eyed stare at either the far wall, the middle distance, or someone at whom he'd normally have no intention of staring.
If the latter should occur, and they should meet his gaze, he gives a little start and averts his eyes-- but it might be too late.

III. At Work

For the last couple months, Byerly's office has been relatively unguarded; this is no longer the case. Anyone coming in to see the Ambassador will have to get through his secretary first-- or, should they like, they're welcome to visit the secretary himself. The Maker doesn't judge.


IV. Wildcard

for Byerly

The day he returns, Benedict saunters into the office and promptly leans against the doorframe, initially to scan for Byerly and then, upon seeing him, to offer a wave of greeting. He doesn't say anything, not yet, but his expression conveys everything: What A Trip.

Comments

[altusimperius]

Benedict nods, silent for a long moment before speaking again.

"I mean-- people have tried to kill me before," he admits (well just look at him), "but it's the first time, um."
He traces a scratch in the table with his fingertip. "Killing them back."

[armd]

Abby nods.

"First time is weird."

She isn't thinking about the first time she killed an infected, because that isn't a decision. You're not deciding to take the life of somebody, it's... killing a monster to save somebody else, to save yourself. Humans are different.

"You okay?"

[altusimperius]

"Yeah," he says uncertainly, and stops his fidgeting to fold his hands instead, as if there were somebody just out of sight who snapped at him to be still.

"I wish it hadn't happened, I guess."

[armd]

"Mmnh," says Abby, understanding, but, "I don't."

To clarify, "I'm glad he died, and not you."

[altusimperius]

A little smile, despite everything. He doesn't look at her, not right away-- something about this hurts, plucks at a pain he isn't canny enough to identify in its totality.

One thing does spring to mind, however, and he confesses it in a low and abashed manner: "I don't... like getting close to Rifters, anymore." It's an apology as much as an acknowledgment of Abby's kindness, shame radiating from him for so openly baring a weakness.

[armd]

She hadn't been expecting this kind of response from him, and it makes her look up suddenly, affronted. Jaws on nothing, while she tries to figure out how to reply to that.

"... Do you have a limit on how many you make friends with or something?"

Her ears are red.

[altusimperius]

Immediately looking up to meet her gaze, Benedict winces.

"No--" he stammers, and has to make himself pause to collect a sensible answer. "It's just," and only now he realizes how this might sound, "...they tend to vanish."

Tapping his index fingers together, he furrows his brow. "Sorry."

[armd]

Yeah. They do. Abby frowns at him for a while longer and then sighs and looks down into her bowl instead. Hey, why is this so difficult? Maybe because it actually matters to her.

She says, "Before I came here, all of my friends died."

Same boat. Not that she's trying to one-up him, just let him know that, "I get it." It's hard to reach out.

[altusimperius]

He braces himself for some form of derision that never comes, moved instead by what Abby says. It's not so different, really. He saw her version of the world, can imagine how people might go away without saying goodbye. Might even stick around, as a shell of themselves with none of their actual personality left. Maybe that's worse.

He nods. "After enough times, you..."

He hesitates, not sure where he's going with it. But given the chance to continue, he does: "...you start to think it's not worth it." Glancing furtively up at her, he offers a shrug and a helpless smirk-- it is worth it, as they both clearly know, even if that's hard to admit.

[armd]

Abby looks up too, and catches the edge of that smirk. It soothes her rising hackles, makes her snort, shrug. Now, she's smirking too.

"But, y'know. If you don't buy in, you die alone."

It's a scam!

[altusimperius]

The smirk grows into a full smile at that, and Benedict laughs, quiet and relieved and sad all at once.

"Maybe you do anyway," he concedes, "but I suppose that's part of the risk assessment."