faderift | OPEN: Like the High Tide Takes the Sand.

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OPEN: Like the High Tide Takes the Sand.

WHO: Nerva and OPEN
WHAT: After swearing an oath to Cassandra, Nerva has foresaken her title as Templar, and sworn to serve the Inquisition only.
WHEN: Over the next couple weeks so that whoever is wherever can still come bother her.
WHERE: Either Emprise, directly after her oath, or in Skyhold after they return
NOTES:The Oath, also warning for Nerva and her Opinions....

There is something uncharacteristically quiet about Nerva, these days. A solemn silence where the passion should be, a held tongue instead of the lash. After returning from Nevarra, after trudging through the snow of the Emprise, she retreated further and further into herself.

That didn't mean the passion was gone. Rather it was turned inward - almost self-flagellating in its intensity, ripping through everything she believed, and the things she thought she believed, until her soul was left at it's most raw, most pure state.

She needed a purpose. She needed a path.

And so she made one.

Any doubts she had, she did not voice. Any doubts she had, were gone, after she made her oath.

She did not have room in her heart for doubt. She did not have room in her heart for the wretchedness that had been there, for months. No. She only had room for commitment, for the cause. And if she could not fully live one, she would live the other.

If she could no longer be Templar in word and deed, then she would be no Templar at all.

She would turn herself into a sword for the Right Hand.

Over the next few weeks, her downtime was used to carefully and painstakingly remove all symbols of the Templar Order from her armour, her clothing, her weapons. Everything she had owned, had come from the templars, and she had no funds with which to simply replace them, so she worked. Mostly on her own, removed from others. She had no desire to make a big display. Her faith - her purpose - was her own, no one else's. There would be no announcement.

Just the careful and purposeful continuation of Duty.

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"Sweet of you to say, but I already have a path set out for me when all is said and done." That, in fact, is the truth. It's not a pretty path, but he figures whenever the Inquisition is done... Inquisiting, then he's back to being on the run. Such is the life, but little to be done about it.

There's a low chuckle. "Don't get too sentimental. Wanted to stuff me in a Circle and keep an eye on me, hm? I didn't think you got so fond of me, Nerva."

"That sounds like something I dare not ask about," She muttered lowly. Twisted Fate very well may have a path that lives up to his name, and it was probably for the best if she didn't know it.

She didn't blush, at his teasing, but she did raise her eyes to his and look at him solemnly.

"Regardless of my personal feelings," - which, the way she was speaking, could have either been fondness or disgust, it was impossible to tell - "I would want what is best for you. The circles are not the Hell that the other mages would have you believe."

"That depends on how you ask, and what you will ask." That's truthful enough; there are some things he could tell her, but others will remain secrets.

Twisted Fate shrugs. "And apostates aren't all on the verge of becoming blood mages or abominations," he says dryly. "I know the Circles aren't all awful, but I'm a man who enjoys traveling the world and seeing what new pleasures await. Circles are a bit too binding for me in the regard."

"Perhaps if we both survive, I will ask." Until then, the future was just a vague, grey shape that might never come to pass.

"You would not necessarily have to stay in the circle," She said, and there's almost a hopeful note to her voice, turning her eyes up to him as if she finally found that tiny crack that she might be able to wedge open. "We had many mages that would primarily work out of the circle - who had trained and proven themselves capable. You could keep travelling, if you wished."

But then she remembers where she is, and what has happened, and the hope that lit her eyes for the barest moment fades.

"Or, you could have."

"Ah, well. We'll see." Even if they both survive, he doesn't know that she'll have the opportunity. Still, perhaps that's for the best.

Twisted Fate shrugs and leans back a little. "Well, more than that. I'm not really someone who would work well in that sort of situation. Suffice it to say, my lifestyle -- mageliness aside -- is not going to be something you would greatly approve of.

"Regardless, thank you for saying that."

"Regardless of your 'lifestyle', you are here," She pointed out, but the firm and slightly far-away look to her eyes was back, as if for half a second he had seen someone much younger but that had slipped away again.

"You have somehow managed not to burn down the entirety of Skyhold, yet. What are you so convinced I would disapprove of?"

Beyond the mage-ness. And the ridiculous flirting. And well. Most of him.

For a moment, he looks at her, his blue eyes calm but distant. Twisted Fate dwells on her statement, then snorts and looks away.

"The part where I steal from nobles, the part where I con men out of their money, or the part where I cheat at card games?" he asks dryly. "Not that I have any shame on any of that, mind you."

Because those aren't things to be ashamed of. Not to him.

"No, why would you have shame in something that you know is wrong?" Nerva made a bit of a face. She shouldn't have asked. (Nerva slightly disapproves.)

"But you can't mean it. You would go from saving all of Thedas, back to being a card shark?" Her tone, while mostly one of annoyance and disgust, has something else in it - just a touch - and it is perhaps the most telling part of her expression. Just the barest thread of disappointment.

And one can only be disappointed if they were beginning to hope for more.

Twisted Fate just shrugs, grinning. He has no shame at all in it; it's fun to take the prideful down a few pegs. And immensely satisfying.

There's a moment of hesitation, then he looks away as he considers his words carefully. Eventually, he exhales out of his nose and says, "It's not exactly as simple as you make it sound, Nerva. I'm not here just to help Thedas, and when the Inquisition is over I'm back to what I was doing before the Inquisition."

That is not a lie, but is a vague summary of the truth as well.

"Whatever your other intentions are, Fate, the goal here is the same for all of us." Or so she hopes. She can't help that twinge of doubt, though, and that same weaving thread of disappointment that surprises her.

"And if you really think you will come through this ordeal unchanged --" She hesitates, frowning, looking down at the half erased Sword of Mercy that she had been working on, and both her heart and her spirit sink.

She had managed, for the most part, not to feel ashamed of her choice, but she can't ignore it.

Life will not be the same, after this.

"-- then you have a stronger will than I."

"That's part of the issue, I suppose. Is that I know for a fact, unfortunately, that I am changed or being changed in some way. Through no one's fault but my own. I don't doubt the strength of my will, but..."

Fate trails off, frowning to himself. No, never his will, but the crippling weakness of his heart. He's in too deep. He's been in too deep. He thought joining the Inquisition would protect him. Sometimes, he isn't sure that's been the case.

"When everything is over with, it's not a matter if I've gone unchanged, Nerva. It's a matter of how much more there will be to lose."

And there's already too much.

She looks up at that. It's the first time he's ever said anything that made her think that he had anything to lose in the first place, and she narrows her eyes, as if trying to see into him with mere will power alone. She doesn't answer, or blink, for far longer than is polite, gauging him with a firm and silent stare.

It isn't that she is over protective. (She is.) And it isn't that she takes the security and safety of the mages as he own personal responsibility (she does, despite everything).

It's just that it bothers her, on a level that she is not about to try to dissect.

"Are you in danger?" She asks flatly, and bluntly, right to the point. "Do you require assistance?"

Because even if he is a card shark, and a con man, and smiles and flirts too much, and is a bit of an ass, he's still there. For whatever reason, he still seems to sometimes actively appreciate her presence, and she- Well. She doesn't exactly mind.

She's definitely not being over protective.

Definitely not.

"How sweet of you to ask," Fate muses. He wants to tease her for it, but instead his tone sounds quiet and insightful.

"I'm always in danger," he remarks, his voice sounding more dry now, more typical to his usual behavior. "When am I not? But whatever it is I've to deal with during and after the Inquisition, I'm not really sure anyone could help me with. As with everything, it's a bit complicated."

Hell, he's told most of it to Korrin, and it's not as if he doesn't trust Nerva, oddly enough. They aren't much alike, but he does admire her conviction and determination. Frankly, he thinks she has a strong will herself.

"But thank you, Nerva. For asking." He almost wishes she hadn't, but he does appreciate it.

She keeps staring at him for a long moment, obviously distrustful, but finally breathes out her nose, her brows furrowing tightly as she lets her eyes slide away from his.

She doesn't know what to do with the thanks, so she ignores it - tucking it away later to be examined. She isn't used to being thanked for something that she considers second nature.

"Perhaps if you stop conning people and cheating at cards, you would find yourself in less constant danger," She replies, as if she's trying to make light of the situation, too. She would ask more questions, but his thank you seemed to close the conversation. At least down that road. So she tries to make a joke, instead, but like always it falls flat - the humour completely invisible in her tone.

"You always could simply give dancing lessons."

It does take him a moment, but this time he picks up on it. There's no real indication of it, but he recognizes her intent easier than he has before. A smile is formed, faint and curious.

"Yes, maybe that would help," Twisted Fate says wryly. "And speaking of dancing, don't suppose you're in need of any further lessons? Always happy to."

"I--"

She wasn't. She had absolutely no reason that she needed further dancing instruction.

"I am, yes." The lie felt weird and thick on her tongue, but her tone was still flat and even. "If you find the time."

"Well, now that we're both back at Skyhold, I think I can find the time. Just let me know when."

The smile he wears now is a bit more genuine. "Just let me know when. I think I'm easy to find, hm?"

"Generally, yes."

It wasn't quite a smile - just the barest upturn of her lip on one side, just the slightest crinkle at the edge of her eyes.

"And I will."

It's a small change in her expression, but Twisted Fate notices it. He grins, and pushes himself back to his feet.

"Well. Until then, Nerva." He tips his hat faintly. "I'll see you later."

With that, he takes his exit.

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OPEN: Like the High Tide Takes the Sand.

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