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WHO: Fiona & you
WHAT: Fiona and all of her Skyhold haunts
WHEN: Late Guardian (Covering a span of time)
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Nothing presently

library;

Her most frequented retreat upon arriving at Skyhold, it is quite, the alcoves are relatively secluded, and she can easily lose herself in all of the books. It is where she can be found most often if one wishes to enjoy her company. Advice? Counsel? Favors? Idle chit-chat?

stables;

Rarely, she can be found near or around the stables, for reasons entirely her own. These days Fiona seemed somber, but fully determined to redeem herself from the mistakes she's made. Now and then, however, she can be seen with the animals, it wasn't often that she had contact with horses so stroking them was a treat.

She was also keen on the dogs roaming about, though the Grand Enchanter did not seem the type, she had quite the liking for a nice, sturdy hound as opposed to the sad toy dogs they had in Orlais. In the mud and grass she could be seen rubbing bellies and scratching behind ears.

More rare than seeing Fiona with the dogs was the occasional laugh at their doggish antics.

garden;

When not in the library or around the stables she can be located in the Garden, fresh air, exercise? Even she needs these things, but more importantly the atmosphere is excellent for meditating.

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Norrington worked on Dauntless's tail in silence, while the horse craned his neck so Fioan would be forced to pet him again. Norrington gave his horse a sheepish sort of glower, but internally sighed. This must be how Adelaide felt around Templars all the time - that mix of fear and aggravation and a touch of respect.

At least he hoped for the touch of respect.

"I came from Ostwick." Which should tell her just how broad his own leanings were. "I can honestly say I had not seen the full price of pride until I began to travel Thedas on the run, and not doing the Maker's work of hunting blood mages." He is silent for another moment, "Tolerance and understanding can be had -- but only when both sides acknowledge their mistakes. When they both find a way to live together, and to put the safety of others first."

He looked up at her, his green eyes grave. "It is easy to show affection. It is harder to be responsible about it."

Well alright, if Dauntless insisted, then Fiona would relent...she could not ignore the pleas of a horse in the same way she could not ignore the whimpering of a dog. Her hands were back on the beautiful creature, petting gently.

"I come from Orlais," if they were sharing stories, "I was a normal little girl in an alienage, not a single ounce of magic in me until I became a slave. Manifesting my gifts had saved me from that fate, but it also meant I had to be sent to the Circle. You might have thought that would have been a welcome reprieve, but it was all the same. I was the only elf and therefore subjected to much bigotry and so many rules, was it really necessary to try and teach me how to act like a lady, I ask you? When the Grey Wardens came I begged to become a member of their ranks."

It wasn't everything, Fiona left out many of the unsavory details.

"I suppose it depends on the situation...life has taught me that from one day to the next things can change," so Fiona took affection and anything good where it could be found, even in the most miserable of places. That was how she found Maric, though she did leave it open for her companion to elaborate.

Dauntless wickered in pleasure, bumping his nose against Fiona's palms.

Norrington kept working on the horse's mane until it shone like silk, soaking in Fiona's tale. He snorted softly, before he stated simply, "Did you never feel a calling in the Circle? Did you never feel as if you were given magic to do the Maker's work?" A pause, and a more honest question, "Is your magic a curse to you, or a blessing, First Enchanter? It seems all the mages who have rebelled hate their magic more than they claim the templars do."

Another pause, before he shook his head, "I ... almost loved a mage. She decided to end things before affections became too close. I don't blame her - I still miss her - but how could I have ever killed someone I loved if she wore the face of an abomination?" He's quiet for a moment, "I also have a good friend who is a mage. I know his wishes upon becoming an abomination. I have known many mages grateful to the templars, because we will stop them from becoming such creatures. To show affection ... means that there has to be an acceptance on both sides. That one friend, one lover, will kill the other in the compliant wishes of the other. Will the mages ever agree to that, First Enchanter?"

Fiona was genuinely pleased by the horse's response, her affinity for animals spurring her to pet more vigorously as Dauntless seemed to desire it.

At the questions, however, Fiona tipped her head curiously, expecting something like this at some point. She did not discourage it, in fact it was good, Mages and Templars were all part of the inquisition now so cooperation was necessary. The walls of suspicion and necessary distance should be broken down and so she approached each question as it was presented, "I should make it clear that... as I am an elf, my experiences are vastly different. I grew up in an Alienage in Orlais and the only time anyone from the Chantry came to us, it was not to help, and we were desperate for it, it was to tell us how wicked we were. I have a distinct disconnection from the Maker because of this... so to answer your question the only callings I have ever felt were as a Grey Warden and as someone who wanted to rectify problems within the Circle."

At the next question Fiona thought about it carefully, it was an honest question and it deserved an honest answer, "a blessing and a curse I suppose. On the one hand my magic saved my life and it has saved other lives, I can certainly help people with my abilities in a way that those without magic cannot. I have been able to heal and save those that I love and that? That is everything. If you could do it would you not see it as a gift, a blessing? I have not been able to save everyone, I cannot bring people back from the dead, no matter how much of myself I put into it, but the lives that I can save and the people that I can help? A blessing, a blessing that is useless behind walls. Of course I have been possessed by demons, on more than one occasion and I have come back from it as well. For many mages that is a curse. That is only part of it, being looked at in fear, dragged off in chains, scorned by loved ones and people you once knew when your magic manifests... like you've become a monster. It's something you come to believe...and for that many mages hate themselves more than Templar's ever will."

At this last question Fiona sighed, Mages becoming abominations was a complicated matter usually associated with fear, "I must first say that I disagree with Harrowings, should a mage be trained properly, certainly, should they be forced into this at any given time even if they are not ready with the alternative solution to make them Tranquil? I think it is too convenient. Abominations are a risk, but there are solutions as well, and I think Mages and Templar should both police the situation and come up with the answers. That, I believe, mages will agree to... having a voice, being given the chance to help, feeling as though we are part of the process instead of watching it without any control over it. If we feel like we have a stake in what happens, I certainly believe that would be better... Abominations are not beyond saving and exceptions should be handled on a case by case I feel."

Dauntless was quite content, all things considered. He was getting petted and brushed at the same time. Norrington would snort that his warhorse was getting spoiled -- but it did the old boy good to get some love.

"I see ... " A sober expression passed his face, and he shook his head, "Then I apologize for my rudeness, Grand Enchanter. I did not know the Chantry refused you aid. Orlais is ... well. Orlais is quite honestly the dregs of kindness, it seems, and the Chantry there seems ever more corrupt." He is silent for a moment, "With your gifts as a mage - you were invaluable to the Wardens, and even more so to the Circle. You rose as a real leader, to them. First Enchanter Lydia spoke of you with much fondness and respect."

He carefully teased out a burr from Dauntless's coat, as he continued to speak, "I am of a rare breed, Grand Enchanter. One who believes that a mage's powers are gifts -- a gift that is also a test. A test of who they are as a moral person, above all. They are granted a direct line to the Maker himself, and if they prove himself worthy of His love and respect by doing magical deeds in His favor? I have no issue with them. I have only ever hated magic that was used for self gain, or to hurt others. I ... know now that most of the Order does not feel that way. That they want to imprison what they can't control. That some want to abuse that power to their own ends. I have seen the ideals I have striven to live up to for over ten years twisted in ways that defy my imagination. I can understand hating, a little, what I am because of what others have made my title represent. But I will never understand how mages think they can rule themselves - without hurting everyone else around them? You want freedom, Grand Enchanter -- but at what cost? How many innocent people will have to die before the mages realize there must be stronger restrictions?"

He sighed again, his brush stilling. "I don't want to see mages looking at Circles as a prison. I want them to see it as a haven for learning and teaching. Where a responsible mage, in time, can go through some sort of test to make sure he can resist the temptations of demons and blood magic. If not a Harrowing, then something else." He gave Fiona a firm look, "I want the Templars and Mages to work together as well, but there has to be rules. There has to be safeties put in place, so the innocent do not suffer." He bowed his head, "...so that good people like Lydia are not murdered by their own apprentices."

"And yet the Divine was Orlesian..." Fiona pointed this out, because this was important to remember, that the leader, the one who represented the Chantry was of the same Orlesian cloth from which the dregs of kindness was wrung, "...I do not tar everyone with the same brush, terrible things happen in alienages everywhere, it is not only in Orlais where their voices are silenced, Orlais is simply more... cavalier. I would not mind seeing some interference in this on behalf of the Chantry, but alas. As a mage and an elf I stand on two fronts."

At the mention of First Enchanter Lydia, Fiona smiled, "there was not always agreement on the course of action to be undergone by mages, Wynne was my biggest objector, but there was always respect. First Enchanter Lydia has always had my respect."

All of the First and Senior Exchangers, Fiona held in high esteem, whether they agreed or did not.

"I believe in schools, and certainly learning how to control ones abilities is of vital importance. Power and responsibility go hand in hand... it is no different with leaders, I was a friend of King Marci for a time and his power brought him nothing but misery, but with it he was responsible and a good, invaluable leader," she certainly sung his praises, but she kept it reasonable, "I believe that using magic to hurt others is reprehensible and should be punished, I believe in pruning objectionable practices... but the important thing to keep in mind is that mages are people, just like you are. People are capable of doing good things and reprehensible things no matter what their creed, their background, and their abilities. I do believe that mages want to have autonomy, I believe mages want a say in how laws an rules concerning mages should be carried out, I believe that it should be possible, as an example, for someone like you to love someone like me without someone else saying it cannot be so."

Fiona hesitated a bit before making her next statement, but honesty it was, "I would have liked to have been able to have my child with me I the circle so that he could know who he was and that his mother loved him dearly and loves him still. Instead he became someone else's...property." Well not at first, but eventually he ended up in the Chantry, "why can I not have such things? Why can you not have such things? Yes I do want freedom, everyone wants freedom and I ask you how many innocents will die because of the stronger restrictions placed upon mages? I do not believe stronger restrictions are the answer to the problem, they are the start of a new problem, perhaps a worse problem, people fight against being smothered that is only logic."

Fiona was adept in keeping her voice calm and even though she sounded sad at times, there was no point in startling the horse over such a discussion. It was a conversation that needed to happen anyway, "Unfortunately all Circles are not created equal and that is part of the problem, just as all Templars are not created equal... there is no set standards for how to punish unruly Templars who terrify little mage children who are already scared enough. What of elves within the Circle? I was the only one as a young girl in an Orlesian Circle and I might as well have been a slave or servant for all they looked their noses down on me. It is insufficient. Circles should be a place of learning... where mages should not have to fear death and should be able to test their mettle in their own time. I fully agree with learning and safety, but the universal standards are simply not there," so while some Circles might be pleasant enough and mages might be okay with it, the rules and regulations were disturbingly uneven from place to place, "there has to be rules, I do not disagree, but mages need to be represented in the rules and they need to be held accountable for upholding them and punishing those who do not. They need to be allowed to breathe, to stop feeling as though they are being punished and contained for crimes they did not commit. Mages are often looked at as what could be instead of what is, that is a problem."

"The Divine is above countries." Was Norrington's firm response, "And if that wasn't clear to you - the fact that she decided to hold her meeting in Fereldan, of all places, should lead you to that conclusion. The Divine looked out for what was best for all of us - mage, templar, the common folk ... " He paused, and then sighed, "Which is why her death, and the death of Lydia, and Knight Commander Swann, are the true tragedies here. People who could rule through rationale and reason, who knew how to make the compromises necessary ... "

He sighed as he moved up Dauntless's coat, making sure to keep his strokes calm and even so the beast would not be startled by their tones or their discussion in any way. "Is such a world even possible, Grand Enchanter? Where we can love who we wish, keep and protect the children that we have from the ugliness that is our world? If mages are willing to live with some regulations, to work with templars if templars allowed them some say in their own lives and rules -- why have we not done so? Where are the rational men and women who should have made this happen centuries ago, before the first true abuses began?"

He looked sharply over at her, before he stated firmly. "There are such rules put into place, to keep my brothers and sisters in line. Clearly, they have not been used for some time." Much to his anger - and chagrin. "I do concur ... elves in the Circle should be treated no differently than the other mages and in many cases - mages should be allowed more autonomy. At least to have their own families, as Templars are allowed to if they choose not to take the vow of chastity." He pointed with the currying brush, "But not total autonomy, for either one of us. I may want to marry someone like you, and you may want to marry someone like me -- but I don't want a blood mage raising their children to more despicable acts. For you are right - mages are people, and people are easily corruptible." Another pause, "And ... yes, mages are feared of what they could do and not what they have done. I think it is perhaps because we see you all holding a torch that you do not seem to have a firm control over, and you are in the middle of a dry forest. If you are spooked, you could set the whole wood aflame. What promises could be made, if any promises at all, that you would show control - teach better control? If not a Harrowing, what test would you suggest?"

"One might attribute a number of factors to the Divine deciding to hold the conclave in Ferelden. Particularly the political upheaval, it would not be much of a conclave if Gaspard went around forcing mages into his ranks as they stepped into Orlesian borders," Fiona was merely thoughtful, she did not think that the Divine had the interest of all of the common folk at heart, Fiona had yet to know a Divine, a Templar, or a member of the chantry to go into an alienage and scoop up the children who'd lost so much. The only waiting arms those children had were the arms of slavers, so her thoughts on the Divine and the chantry were very mixed on the matter.

"Where are the rational men and women who should have stopped many atrocities before they happened? Where were they when elves were written off of these lands and pushed to the margins of the pages by humans? Where are they now? What does blaming people for things in the past do to help reconcile and change things for the future? Foresight into such matters is impossible, you simply need to have confidence in change, confidence that the way things have been traditionally are, perhaps, not the best way," Fiona lightly stroked the horse's nose with her finger tips, "once upon a time mages did exist without Circles, as we know them now, until some came along and ruined it for us all. As much as humans are besmirched as ravenous and destructive so are mages, because we continue to look into the past and at the way things are and see this as how it has to be. We've learned to ignore or contain things by building walls...we build walls around elves so that they can be ignored and contained, we build walls around mages so that they can be ignored and contained...nothing highlights how different we are than by building great big walls, with big fancy doors, and pretty little windows."

"Well ... that is probably true because Gaspard is an irrational lunatic from a land of irrational lunatics." Was Norrington's sarcastic reply, before he sighed. Heavily. He had no idea what happened outside of the Free Marches in the alienages -- he knew elves had it bad, wherever they were from. That he had learned from Pel, and it was not a lesson he would soon forget.

"Probably pushed to the side. Or murdered. Seems to be rather common occurrence, honestly." Seriously how did anyone get by being moral? Morality seemed to have a large target painted on one's back. He paused, then frowned a little, "...Mages formed the first Circle. It was their way to be protected, to be able to study what they wanted to study in peace and serenity." He worked another burr out of Dauntless's coat, continuing to speak softly, "And while it would be nice to have a tower with larger windows that let in more light and more freedoms for both templars and mages -- those big doors are there to keep the people of Thedas out as well. Do you honestly feel safe from all the people without magic, who hate you? Trust me when I say -- mages are not safe now on their own. Not among the common folk. Not until you've won some goodwill back by stopping Corypheus." He gently worked his way along Dauntless's back, "You say - look to the future. In the future, this will have to change or all of our lives work - mages and templars - will be for naught. I agree to that. But what I don't agree with, Grand Enchanter, is ignoring the consequences of today. To free hundreds, you endangered thousands, perhaps even hundreds of thousands. You released mages into Thedas, putting the common folk at the mercy of those mages who had gone mad from their imprisonment, and the templars who had done the same. At the same time, those mages who did not want to fight, who wanted to stay in the Circles, had no choice but to rebel or to go to the only safe havens left."

His jaw worked, as he stopped again, green eyes closing, "And even those safe havens were overrun by those who wanted to take their freedom by force instead of reason."

"I am well aware that mages formed the first Circle, but education and research was the intended purpose. That purpose was perverted, the Circles of today are not what those who originally created the circle had in mind, that I can assure you. Even then the Chantry had mages using their gifts to keep the Eternal Flames lit, detaining us to use us in the Chantry. That did not go over well either. Thus we have the Circles of today," those mages were not forced into being cloistered, "I feel no safer or protected inside of those walls than outside of those walls, as I have said before: not all Circles are created equal. I've had to deal with stories of mages locked away in prisons and conveniently forgotten, left to starve to death. How safe am I when left to someone else's whims and whether or not they feel like feeding me that day? What happens to us when men like Lambert are allowed to enter your ranks? Or when you have Knight Commanders stretching their hyper-technicality in order to enforce the Rite of Annulment? No, I do not feel safer in the Circles, I felt more security in the Deep Roads than in the Circle, because I knew when I was about to be attacked by Darkspawn."

And she could control how she reacted to that situation, within the Circle, control was limited, what one could do was limited.

"It was not a decision I made on my own, it was not a decision made lightly, we were backed into a corner by Lambert and what do you do when you are backed into a corner? Denied the conclave we were promised? Given the ultimatum to either march into prison cells where we would no doubt he left to starve or executed one by one? This probably could have been settled differently if we had been allowed our time, the time that we had been promised by the Divine herself. I know that constant warfare benefits no one and I want it to stop as much as anyone else, but at the time we had little choice. Thousands of lives are in danger every day, but I can honestly not take credit for all of it, not with humans burning alienages to the ground. We live in a world where no one can disagree with the systems set in place without someone crushing them under a boot. The elves in Halamshiral fought and killed and rebelled, that was not without reason. It is the sort of thing that happens when voices go unheard for so long."

"Why couldn't they be that again, though?" Was Norrington's response, as he arched an eyebrow at her, "And why is it that mages hate the Chantry so? There are corrupt individuals, as we have discussed, but there are many good ones as well. I know you did not have a good experience - but can you honestly tell me that you have never known a good brother or sister of the faith? That all you have ever seen of our Order was corruption? I find that hard to believe, Grand Enchanter. You paint a picture of your life - and then try to fit that picture to everything else around you." He shook his head a little, "I will admit there are changes that need to happen - I am sure there are others who would agree to some, if not all you say. Especially to elves - who have always been welcome in our ranks, by the by."

He frowned, faintly, "I will not argue the merits of what Seeker Lambert did, or did not do. My personal opinions right now of Seekers have never been high and right now they are at an all time low. That those who would guard the guardians would step so completely off their intended roles? Is what should truly disturb us all. Splitting us from the Divine's own wishes? How could that turn out any other way but rebellion?" He looked at Fiona then, green eyes serious over the back of his horse, "You keep bringing the argument back to the alienages, to the elves. There is a strong difference, Grand Enchanter. The elves are helpless souls who are being suppressed against their will with absolutely little to no recourse outside of rebellion. I admire their courage. Mages, on the other hand, have the entire scope of magic at their fingertips. Some Circles were truly abysmal, and those templar knight commanders should be hung about the neck until they are dead, but that is not the case for all. What was needed was reform, not rebellion. To fight for your freedom in the White Spire? Absolutely - the Seeker Lambert had stepped far out of line. But to force rebellion when there was no clear majority? How is that any different than the boot you claim to hate?"

His lips pressed together, "There is always a choice, Grand Enchanter. You could have fought free of the corrupt Seeker and those corrupt Templars -- then gone with the Divine to continue your discussions. Decisions made in the heat of the moment are rarely the most considered. And what did it gain you? Are you truly free?" He sighed, as he ran the brush along Dauntless's mane, relenting quietly, "Are any of us? Responsibility is as much a cage as anything else. Duty, above all, to the Maker who created us, and the people who depend on us. Absolute freedom is not a luxury either one of us can afford, Grand Enchanter."

"The only way the Circle could be that way again is if studying and researching were accompanied by breathing fresh air. It is something that is done now to pass the time spent languishing behind walls, because what else are we going to fill our day with? I suspect it is not the same kind of pleasure it once was." Fiona simply shrugged, continuing to pet the horse in a soothing manner all the while her attention was fixed on Norrington, "Why? Representation I expect is part of the reason why some mages might dislike the chantry. Hesitation to interfere in certain instances where they should, because goodness knows it is the Chantry who is responsible for the Circles and yet there is so much tiptoeing. I have my own opinions of the chantry of course, my disquiet runs deeper...such as soliciting money from the poor...and why does the Chantry need to be political? Why does the chantry need it's own armored forces? Why does the Chantry need to control the Lyrium? The implications that come with dressing the Chantry up in moral-dignity breeches runs deep."

Fiona smiled faintly as Norrington brought the conversation around to her experiences, "hmm...I suppose my experiences have colored my perspective, but I was the Grand Enchanter, if abuses were uncommon in the circle then you could attribute my way of thinking as simply a case of tunnel vision. Nothing got by me, however...Circles in Orlais, Kirkwall, Ferelden...all have dirty secrets that would rattle your cages. These cannot be corrected by simple reforms, it has everything to do with character, with dehumanizing, with separation."

Fiona closed her eyes for a moment as if she could block out some of the crimes against her people that still haunt her.

"I keep bringing the argument back to elves and alienages because--look at me and tell me what you see? There is no separating the elf from the mage, I have had both experiences and I have lived both lives and so I stand on two platforms that are very similar. Both are treated differently for being born in a way in which they cannot help, both are kept in by walls, and mages having an entire scope of magic at their fingertips? That is incidental to me when there are plenty of Tranquil out there who are helpless, who cannot even refuse," Fiona simply shook her head, shaking off those particular thoughts, "I think it would be prudent to clear up certain misconceptions about the rebellion. To suggest that I forced it without a clear majority? The rebellion began before I became officially involved, it started in Kirkwall, so there were several leaders. Leaders that included First Enchanter Orsino, First Enchater Edmonde and his predecessor Adrian, First Enchanter Rivella. There were thousands of mages that gathered at Andoral's Reach, hundreds more standing on the battlements to fend off an army ten times our size. As most of our First Enchanter representatives were killed in the White Spire rebellion we made our choices based on fraternities. The Liberitarians and the Aequitarians made up the larger fraternities and they voted for rebellion, there was a rather clear majority. The margin was slim, but we all decided that in taking this vote we would follow through with whatever was decided. We ended up in conflict with Loyalists, such as Madame Vivienne de Fer, while the Isolationists fled."

"Sitting back and waiting for reform, for changes to take place...these things take time. People talk about change, they ask for patience, they ask you to wait...and then you keep waiting. Keep hoping that maybe tomorrow...but some people do not have until tomorrow. Mages that committed suicide in the Gallows much to the glee of Templars...the horrors of that place. Mages that are made Tranquil for the enjoyment of Templars in the White Spire. Those who are forgotten about and left to starve. Mages who are murdered for escaping or kept in solitary for years in Ferelden...they cannot wait for tomorrow. I do not want war, war benefits no one, but I feel I have gained ground on which to give voice to things that have no voice," Fiona shook her head, her petting having momentarily stilled, "I am not talking about absolute freedom, I understand that there is a present danger in some mages, but perhaps we can find a way to subvert those dangers without tightening the chains for both of us. I am talking about what is fair, and I can tell you that making a Mage who says 'no' to a Templar's advances Tranquil so they cannot say 'no' is unfair and a corruption that is beyond my ability to tolerate. I understand that not all Templars are the same, but corruption spreads like the taint."

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