Most of those are questions he's been actively avoiding. Granted, the original idea was Nathaniel's, but whether it had been Justice or Anders who lingered on it more he doesn't know. And he doesn't like knowing. The humor in the situation fades and he looks down, fully aware of how cracked he likely seems, laughing one moment, looking exhausted the next, numb five second later.

"There's no going back, because I've already told someone who will likely pursue matters if I don't follow through." Which... could also have been manipulation by the spirit, and that's another thought he very much doesn't like. No. The best thing he can do is act like he's in control and knows what he's doing. "The heart of it that I want to help. If I'm caught instead of this, I'll set back the movement for mage freedom too much. They might not recover. They might splinter further. After all this has cost, I can't afford that. And the favor..."

If she provides, he won't be around for her to collect on that debt. But there's a high chance she already knows that.

"If Nate comes to you, Nathaniel Howe, seeking passage, a way to get me out..." Anders struggles to continue, but continue he does. "Don't. Don't help him. I've given him that idea while he's been talking about protecting me, but I can't... I can't let him ruin his life for me. He'll think he has a solution, and by the time he realizes he doesn't, it will be too late."