[Closed] This isn't even my final form

[justice_is_blond]

WHO: Anders and close CR
WHAT: Detlef makes his last appearance for some goodbyes in case, Anders gives some warnings, and basically he tries to prepare.
WHEN: Around this time, a little backdated for the ride, but generally 24th-ish
WHERE: Ride back from EDL and in Skyhold
NOTES: Anders.

[ooc: This is various starters for Detlef's end and Anders warning some friends and admitting things to another. If you'd like a starter, ping me at Nadat on plurk and I'll put one together!]

Comments

For HERC

[justice_is_blond]

He's scared.

Resigned, guilty, accepting... and terrified. Bringing Nate along to look with him for Hercules or Kaidan is a cowardly move, but he's doing it anyway because it means there's no way to run now. Things are in motion. At least this time, as he sets off what may be a chain of events, it's likely no one else will die.

Up ahead is a man fitting the description he's been given, and after a confirmation glance at Nathaniel, Anders approaches.

"Warden Hercules, I believe?"

[twelvelabours]

Herc straightens up at the sound of his name. There's a mabari asleep nearby, undignified as possible, sprawled on its back and tongue lolling out, and Herc shakes his head at the dog as he sets down the sword he was polishing and steps forward. "That'd be me. Just 'Herc' is fine."

A nod at Nate, and even if he's not smiling, there's an openness and a warmth to his expression and the way he moves. He's an old soldier, worn down, but he's not been turned harsh by it, and that's something.

"How can I help you?"

For SAM

[justice_is_blond]

He's been fairly quiet on the ride out of Emprise du Lion, keeping his head down, lost in his thoughts. What is there left to say or do, really? But a shift in the riding order winds up with him next to Sam, and Anders looks over with some regret. It would be nice to watch a spirit healer develop outside of the cage of the Circles, find out what all he could become without those shackles, but he's not likely to get that chance. At least they can talk, though.

"Emprise seemed to go... well enough." It's not the greatest start to a conversation ever, but considering how heavy Anders is feeling right now, he's pretty pleased by it.

[el_tybs]

Sam is very much lost in his own thoughts as well, eyes a bit distant as he stares forward at nothing in particular, keeping the minimum amount of awareness to at least not fall off his horse. It's only hearing a voice speak up to his side that has him blinking and turning to regard the other person.

For a moment he doesn't say anything, mind repeating the words so that he can catch up, but eventually he does smile, albeit a bit sheepishly at being so slow to respond. "I suppose it could have been a lot worse," he says in agreement. "Kind of hoping there is going to be a bit of a reprieve when we get back."

For ALAYRE

[justice_is_blond]

Knowing what he's going to do hasn't exactly made things easier, just more straightforward in some ways. Unfortunately, he has no clue how to approach the people he's come to like and has lied to. That Alayre is a Templar makes it all the more complicated. Anders can't tell him everything, or really much at all.

His life would be so much simpler if every Templar was a mage-murdering, heartless bastard, really.

"You're feeling well again?" At least he can operate under the guise of checking up on the man's health before departing.

[equanimiti]

The unannounced visit caught Alayre offguard but the mage isn't unwelcomed. "Detlef." He greeted the healer with a slight grin. While he's certainly feeling much better now, Alayre still looked quite fatigued. He placed himself in a rather precarious position as of late by unjustly accusing the Inquisition of "ungodliness". So imagine the stress.

"Much better thanks to you." He said with a smile. "What brings you here? Thought I ran off to find more trouble?" Alayre wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. He's been sticking to the camp as of late after getting yanked off the battlefield. Alayre needed time to settle "greviances" before doing anything else. He made one too many enemies as of late, some within the Order itself.

"What's a matter?" Alayre's expression changed a bit. "You seem...unhappy."

For BRUCE

[justice_is_blond]

He's been holding on to these herbs almost as if they were a lifeline. The thought of actually having one more task to complete has helped get him back to Skyhold instead of revert back to the older instincts that suggested he run. Delivering them, setting the basket on the table next to Bruce, feels extremely final.

"These are some of what we collected in Emprise. They... Well. I'm certain you know their uses." He doesn't need to instruct. Bruce is very competent. Anders just doesn't want to leave the tent quite yet.

/rolls in belatedly

[amygdalae]

Bruce glanced up from his work when he felt Detlef approach. Things, in a way, had been a bit more wary ever since he was forced to reveal his mage status to Detlef - but nobody had come after his head so far so Bruce assumed that the other hadn't spoken about it to anybody else. Which was... well, good. Hopefully. Cole and River knowing was one thing, but to have another person with those two--

It was a bit hard to not start thinking about exit plans.

"I think I can figure it out," he manages with a small smile. There seemed to be something off with Detlef, and while Bruce didn't want to pry, he also wanted to be sure it wasn't... well. That it wasn't anything related to what Detlef knew about him now. "Thank you."

Trying to bring it up was another thing entirely, though.

For MERRILL

[justice_is_blond]

There isn't any finding Merrill. One either runs into her, or they don't. ...Or they trip over her twine and wind up with scraped hands and annoyance. Thankfully, this isn't one of those days. He comes across Merrill among the tents.

"So do you know where you are? Because I'm going to assume you're lost. It seems like a safe way to save time." For once there's no barb in his voice. He's never minded her habit of getting lost. With anyone who wasn't a blood mage it might even be endearing, but he'll deny that thought forever.

[chainlightning]

"In the Emprise," Merrill responds cheerfully, as she would even if there was a barb in his voice. It's the absence of it, however, that has her turning to look at him, a little furrow in her brow that points toward concern.

And, well- she may still technically be lost, but that doesn't matter as much. "How are you?"

For NATE

[justice_is_blond]

By the time he's back in their room, he's exhausted. Almost all of his few things are taken care of, just in case, but there's still a pillow and an earring in his pack, a bedroll on the floor that he's sitting on, and his cat and her sandbox and toys. Nate will take the cat, he knows this. The bedroll doesn't matter. The other two things... He's tried giving one away once. It hadn't worked then, and he doesn't think it will work now.

The pack's set on the corner and he takes a deep breath, wondering if he has the strength to find and speak with anyone else, when the door opens. Nate walks in, and Anders gives him a small, tight smile.

"You're still, still good with taking Purrelden, right?"

[pinprick]

"Of course." Nathaniel approaches him and wraps his arms around him tightly, tucking his head beneath his chin.

"But I won't be. You're going to be fine."

For ADELAIDE

[justice_is_blond]

Everything's packed, but he still has plenty of time and more than a little nervous energy. And one obligation. Anders heads for Adelaide's tent with some trepidation. He owes her more than he's told anyone else here, but he's not sure he has the courage for this.

Once outside her tent, Anders clears his throat. "Adelaide? Are you busy?"

[fleurdesel]

"Detlef?" She flips the tent flap open, peering out into the chill. He's never simply waited unless the lantern showing she had a patient was up; and sometimes not even then. "Get in before we lose all the heat, yes?"

Busy, she is always busy as of late; Council concerns, student concerns, Inquisition concerns, her notes on the Shards and those that wear them, her private research about spirits that has borne some absurd fruit, and her latest bout of hammering away at something old and new; the notes and now empty vial of her blood scattered on her makeshift desk.

For ZEVRAN

[justice_is_blond]

This might be the simplest talk he needs to have today. It also might not be. He's not sure how well it will go, but he does know the Elf needs a head's up.

With a little regret that this won't be a visit for more pleasant things, and a little more for the fact that there might not be any more pleasant things at all, Anders knocks on Zevran's door. His head is down and he's not calling out - if Fenris is nearby (entirely possible,) this would be some of the worst timing possible to run into him.

[ombranera]

It is one of the better days- he is having them more often than not as of late and is enjoying the good humor. As such he's up, he's reading and poking at Doghren with a strip of jerky, spoiling the little beast in Alistair's stead. The knock has him hopping up and opening it, blinking at Anders for a moment before hooking an arm around his shoulders and hauling him inside.

Before Morrigan saw.

Before Fenris saw.

"If you had need of me you should have called-" The patch is off, here. The scars shining and still pink, the eye capped in white, but he is as much himself as he has ever been.

For KAISA

[justice_is_blond]

"Are you busy?" It's a gentle sort of question as he joins Kaisa near the tents. It's been a greater comfort than he can ever express to have had friends here who knew him and were fine with that, and if somehow this doesn't all go wrong... Except he can't really think about that. Hope never pays off. He needs to be patient and simply see what happens, rather than plan for the future.

"I'm headed back to Skyhold, and I wanted to speak with you."

[unbrokenoath]

Kaisa turned at the sound of his voice, and grinned, propping her hands on her waist. "Nah, I don't have fuckall going on right now. I was sneaking about sneaking into my tent for a nap, but me and my roomie don't exactly see eye to eye. She called me a servant of darkness, did you know that? I was like lady, that is ice cold, I want to be the queen of darkness." She paused in her chatter, then blinked at Anders slowly.

"Oh shit, this is serious, isn't it? Okay, I'm here. What do you need?"

For BETHANY

[justice_is_blond]

There are moments he wonders if he shouldn't do this, simply for the sake of not messing up the lives of those he cares about who have made places for themselves here. Unfortunately, there aren't really any other options. The ball was set in motion when he arrived and stayed. If he leaves, people will wonder and ask more questions, and there will be even more issues brought up for staying silent.

He finds her in the courtyard, hard at work, and isn't surprised. That's one thing the Hawke siblings had always had in common. Once it looks like she's far enough from other people that his approach won't truly be noted, Anders heads over.

"Do you have a moment to take a short walk?"

Re: For BETHANY

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Well yes, best way to make a good impression is take on work that no one else wanted to. Besides, there was something almost relaxing about making bandages for the healers. The sisters appreciate the help, appreciate talking to a Grey Warden, even if she is a mage.

Or maybe because she was a mage. There is a lot of mixed signals around here.

At the sight of Anders - no, Detlef, Detlef - she looks up to where she is rolling the last bandage into a basket.

"I do! We're waiting for the next load of cloth, so feel free to steal me away." She waved at the sisters, standing up and dusting off her hands. Brown eyes searched his, and her lips press together.

"Is something wrong?"

For ISABELA

[justice_is_blond]

It's really not that hard to locate the pirate, all things considered. Everyone knows Isabela. A few careful questions later and he's found her. For several minutes, though, he doesn't approach. He simply stands off to the side and watches people interact with her, feeling a little jealous but mostly at peace. She'll be fine. Whatever comes of this, she'll be well, and it's a comfort.

Once he's caught her eye, he nods to the side and heads off, trusting that she'll follow. Yes, she'll hit the ground running, but she still deserves a warning.

"About the ships that might be standing by," he begins when she joins him. The expression on his face is an attempt at a smile, as if he's joking, but he's never been good at bluffing and it's transparent.

[easternseaqueen]

She raises an eyebrow at him. The pulling her aside, the asking about a ship... If she knows Anders, that probably means one thing...

"Damn it. All right, what trouble are you into this time and how much is it going to cost me to get you out of it?"

For LELIANA, BETHANY, and ZEVRAN

[justice_is_blond]

Much of the discussion seems to have reached a point of, if not being fully settled, some sort of rough consensus. Which means he's returning to the healing tents with another Warden alongside him, the friendliest guard he's ever had. It's an odd feeling. Not just being under guard by someone who trusts him for a change, he's also returning to work in a place he hadn't expected to see again.

Anders is fairly quiet as he works, glancing around sometimes just to see Bethany still there. He'll get used to this. She's not wanting him to slip up so she can kill him, which makes her a complete improvement over every single other watcher he's ever had.

"So during the conversation I gathered a few... hints. That you might be looking into the other side of my situation?" He's likely lost the assistance of Adelaide when it comes to finding if there's a way to heal Justice. If Bethany is looking, there might still be hope.

[fightingale]

Leliana would be at a loss, if she were not so angry. That this has happened, that such a man as this was able to infiltrate their numbers. All the worse, that it might have been impossible, if not for the presence of his friends. Varric, Isabela, Bethany, all three of them people she would have considered kindred spirits, of a sort, in years past. They might not have been close friends, they may never even have had that chance, but Leliana would certainly not have expected to find their knife slipping between her ribs.

It began with the cat. It kept bothering her, a detail that caught her attention until her mind would not rest, and all slowly unravelled from there. Blond spirit healer, with a curious link to the Hero of Ferelden, and a fondness for cats. She casts the final shred of confirmation down, the last piece delivered by a scout and cutting through the flimsy (pathetically flimsy) identity that was Detlef. Her chair scrapes back, and Leliana is moving in long, quick strides. Something in her is ablaze, a painful scorching his heat started in her gut and fans up through her chest, embers seeming set to burn through her very ribs and her skin, forcing her to told herself together.

She is fast, she is used to being akin to a shadow - in place, invisible for all her belonging. It is the Nightingale that stalks towards the tent, now, and not Leliana. There is one lingering moment, where she hangs at the entrance to the medical tent.

One inhale, one exhale, and a knife is in her hand.

Another breath - and she is moving, hand at Anders' throat, fingers curling holding him there as the cold edge of her knife caresses his throat.

"I know who you are," Leliana breathes, a quiet snarl. "I know you."

For KALLI

[justice_is_blond]

There's something absolutely crushing when seeing the expression on a friend's face when they find out you've betrayed their trust. He'd seen it in Kirkwall, in Emprise du Lion, and he's headed to see it again in Skyhold. He hadn't wanted to hurt anyone. As usual, though, his intentions and his results didn't quite match up.

When he finds Kallian, Anders clears his throat and joins her where she stands, wishing he had any other news.

"Are you busy?" Likely she can tell from his voice alone that something is wrong, but his facial expression is weighed-down as well.

[kallian_endris]

She looks up from where she's preoccupied, a smile relieving some of the stress from her expression when she sees him.

"Detlef! No, uh, not really. Just making a few extra poultices to keep around the healing tent. I'm... I'm glad you're here, actually..."

Then she notices his face, and she goes a little pale.
"...is something the matter?"