[Closed] This isn't even my final form

[justice_is_blond]

WHO: Anders and close CR
WHAT: Detlef makes his last appearance for some goodbyes in case, Anders gives some warnings, and basically he tries to prepare.
WHEN: Around this time, a little backdated for the ride, but generally 24th-ish
WHERE: Ride back from EDL and in Skyhold
NOTES: Anders.

[ooc: This is various starters for Detlef's end and Anders warning some friends and admitting things to another. If you'd like a starter, ping me at Nadat on plurk and I'll put one together!]

Comments

[justice_is_blond]

"Leblanc has."

He's quiet for a moment, idly picking at one of the herbs he'd brought. This isn't the place or time to speak, to admit anything, because he needs to reach the Wardens if he's to not cost the mages too much. But he's tempted.

"I've a past, Bruce. No one wise will look to me as any sort of example. But there are others who will do better." They've got the opportunity and the motivation. Now they just need to take them and run with it. It's all he can ask for.

Anders shakes his head and exhales, almost chuckling.

"I'm feeling optimistic today, clearly. My apologies."

[amygdalae]

Detlef may not wish to say anything, but in a way Bruce can understand. He has a past of his own too, one that he'd rather not talk about himself, but its why he is what he is now. Why he dislikes using his magic even though he knows it can do good, why he distances himself from being a mage, why he tries so hard to prove that he can do anything without relying on his magic. They all have their own pasts - and if Detlef didn't want to share it, then Bruce would respect that.

"There's nothing wrong with bring optimistic," he assures the other, still doing his best keep the encouragement going. He doesn't know what is bothering Detlef, but he does want to help however he can - it was the least he could do, right now. "There's enough negativity going on right now as it is. Perhaps what we do need is some optimism."

[justice_is_blond]

Apparently his sarcasm is lost on Bruce, but that's fine by Anders. He doesn't want to drag people down. That's why he's moving forward, despite feeling absolutely terrified, numb, and sick at alternating moments.

"It would be nice to find some. It's been... some time. But perhaps I'm not looking in the right place."

He shakes his head and exhales, trying to end his moodiness before it truly spiraled downward. Justice was satisfied with this. He was at peace, even. Shouldn't that make it easier? Except Justice had never wanted to live in this world the way Anders had. All Anders had ever wanted, all he'd gotten, he'd also had taken away. He just... it doesn't matter. Not anymore.

"Maybe I'll find it while I attend to matters. But if you discover a source of optimism, let me know. Maybe I'll be able to share in it."

[amygdalae]

Bruce gives a nod. "I'll be certain to do that."

He doesn't know how well that would help with whatever Detlef had in mind, but if it could aid him in anyway, then Bruce would do his best. Again, it was the least he could do in return for the favour that the other was doing for him. He owed Detlef a lot.

"Whatever it is, I wish the best for you."

[justice_is_blond]

Would he if he knew the truth? Anders doesn't know, but he'll take the man at his word. Bruce deserves that respect.

"Thank you." He'd add something about continuing to do well, or... something along those lines, but anything like that would sound too final, rouse too many suspicions, so instead Anders nods.

"Until next time, Bruce." There might not be one. But at least he'd met the man, and that had been nice.