[Closed] This isn't even my final form

[justice_is_blond]

WHO: Anders and close CR
WHAT: Detlef makes his last appearance for some goodbyes in case, Anders gives some warnings, and basically he tries to prepare.
WHEN: Around this time, a little backdated for the ride, but generally 24th-ish
WHERE: Ride back from EDL and in Skyhold
NOTES: Anders.

[ooc: This is various starters for Detlef's end and Anders warning some friends and admitting things to another. If you'd like a starter, ping me at Nadat on plurk and I'll put one together!]

Comments

[justice_is_blond]

He doesn't have an answer for that, so he simply nods, looking down. Rather, he doesn't want to have an answer for that. Most of his life has been situations that weren't his choice. Turning himself in to the Grey Wardens is one that is a blend, his choice and Justice's, but it's still closer to his own decision than so many of the things he's dealt with.

Anders lifts a hand to rest it on hers for a moment. He's going to have to set some contingency plan up for her, too, just as he had for Nate. Somehow he'll figure it out.

"What else is there to do in the Deep Roads except try not to die and make fun of everything? Oh, and step into things I don't ever want to know what they were. That as well." Which she is now familiar with. Anders sighs. "And I'm... I'm sorry, Bethany."

She'd had no choice in becoming a Grey Warden, less than even he'd had. Normally it was better than death, but the way the distant song suffused everything anymore he wasn't quite so sure.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

"Well there's the not pissing off the dwarves part. That's usually helpful. They also tell you where the mucky stuff is, so you don't step in it." Bethany looked over at him, her brown eyes warm for a moment, before they went serious at his statement.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. Neither does my sister. You did the best that you could in a bad situation -- and between the two of you you saved my life. Whatever life I lead now in the Grey Wardens ... I'm grateful. I've helped so many people, and I'll be able to help so many more. I'll be a good example to mages who never went into a Circle. That Warden mages are valued and not abused, so perhaps Circles can become like Warden camps instead. I got to know about the Templar who saved Father's life, that Father never resented me but just wanted me to be a better mage. Would I have been able to do that, if I had died from the Blight?"

She shook her head, "No. You saved me. And in saving me you saved countless others. Don't ever apologize for that. Not ever."

[justice_is_blond]

Sometimes he managed to do the right thing, apparently. It's hard to see the positive ripple effects from time to time, but just the facts that mages can walk around right now, that she's alive and helping save lives, that there isn't fear surrounding here, stand as proof that he has helped.

Anders squeezes her hand for a brief moment. His perspective is rarely healthy. It helps to have people put it back in check, but saying something like that is not about to happen. Instead, he takes a shaky breath and nods.

"Then I'll not apologize for it again. And in the meantime there are... There are a few more people I should see to. If..." He frowns for a moment. She wants to believe that he'll be safe, but he can't risk that. "If things do not go well, don't take this as an obligation, but there's a young woman, Kallian, who could use something of an older sister. Or at the very least a friendly face."

Just in case, he can't make it a question. He doesn't want anyone to feel obligated to carry out some Last Request. Except for Bela sidelining Nate. That he feels no guilt about.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Bethany looked at Anders for a long moment, taking in what he's saying to her. He's talking as if he is not going to make it through this -- and she knows that he's afraid that they aren't right, that what they've tried to put in place won't be enough.

She's not that sunshine girl through and through. She's seen too much to blindly promise him that he shouldn't say such things. Instead, she takes his hands again, looking at him seriously, "If something happens to you, I will find Kallian again, and I'll make sure she's taken care of. I was an awfully good little sister, so I think I can manage an older one."

See, she'll just make the promise without being asked.

[justice_is_blond]

He nods, gratitude in his eyes. One person he's saved, helping another. And maybe things will turn out all right. He doesn't believe it, but he can't definitively say it won't happen.

"Thank you." It needs to be spoken too. He gives her a weak, tight smile, and then looks off to the side before back at her. "I've... I've a few more people to speak with." To say farewells to. It's probably obvious enough without him saying it.

"I'll..." see you around? See you later? Both could be entirely wrong. Anders nods again for lack of other words and will part when she's said anything else she wants to.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

"You are very welcome." She squeezed his hand, before nodding and letting him go. She paused, then stated simply, "I'll be by your tent later. They'll probably want someone to watch over you. But for now ... go. Say goodbye. I hope it won't be forever."

She'd pray for it, even, although she knows how little Anders believes in prayer.