Truth or Dare: Side Party for Servants and Scoundrels

[faderifting]

WHO: Anyone!
WHAT: A party for people who might scare the nobility, are deathly afraid of chandeliers, or fled the soiree with cheeses hidden in their clothes and need to make a clean getaway.
WHEN: During (and after) the soiree.
WHERE: The valley beyond Skyhold.
NOTES: Drinking, revelry. People might make out or something. We're not responsible for your actions.

The soiree might be fun, if you're into that sort of thing, but that isn't what it's for. It's for impressing the powerful and opening their pockets—and, necessarily, some people aren't invited. In some cases that's personal. In others, it's just understood. When they're done helping to set up, most of the servants and workers who aren't needed to serve make themselves scarce. The usual trickle of refugees to and from the fortress slows. Some people used to sleeping in the stables may find their "beds" occupied by nobles' horses or the rooms they had been squatting in cleaned and prepared for someone else to stay in.

There's no resentment. (Or at least very little.) That's how these things go. And in the valley outside the fortress' walls, there are foot soldiers and refugees and a number of miscellaneous exiles who welcome the company with large fires, cheap but freely flowing alcohol, and whatever music can be wrung out of instruments exposed to such low temperatures. The crowd thins and dwindles as the night wears on, but even after the last person has left the Great Hall in Skyhold, there's still a sizable gathering near the river with no intention of going to sleep before sunrise.

No masks allowed.

Comments

[bookish_lioness]

There is definitely death during wartime, and Hermione can attest to that. It's just a matter of the sort of circumstances under which it happens, and who finds such things acceptable. From what Hermione's seen, no decent person has ever found wanton loss of life to be an acceptable side effect of war, even if they'd been forced to resort to all sorts of atrocities in the name of the greater good.

At first, Hermione doesn't see the hidden meaning in the word used, assuming that Anders simply means that mages had been taken advantage of in terms of their magic being used towards ill-gotten gains, or something similar. But then he mentions something about consent, and she looks as though she'd just been struck as the implication makes itself obvious. Oh... oh.

Does that excuse killing, though? At what point is one simply crossing a line rather than attempting to right a wrong? It's clear that Anders doesn't relish what he'd done, but he's still trying to make her see the value in it, despite the fact that they clearly come from very different points of view.

Seeing him cross his arms over his chest, Hermione shakes her head, trying not to get frustrated by how understandable defensive he's been. "I'm not-... not assuming anything. I'm trying not to, at least. Like I said, I've been hearing all sorts of things, and I wanted to hear your side of it, because-...."

And she has to pause there, because really, that's the main part of all of this that has been most upsetting for her.

Eventually, she takes a long, shaky breath before explaining, "I've just come out of a war. If our opposition had won, people like me - non-magical people and those who come from non-magical families - would have been exterminated. At best. At worst... at worst, someone like me would have ended up wishing for something as simple as death. I've been tortured, I've been-.... I might have ended up not much different than you. I would have felt caged, resentful, desperate. And that scares me, that my worst-case scenario is your every day."

Oh hell, there are tears in her eyes. She's too stubborn to let them fall, because this isn't about her, and she's not trying to make this about her. She's just trying to prove that, even though she doesn't understand, she's willing to try. Because if circumstances had been different, who's to say that she wouldn't have ended up being grateful to someone like Anders... or becoming someone not too different from him?

"I'm not just judging you over circumstances I can't begin to understand, Anders. I can understand. And I'd... I'd really rather not. Because killing does things to people, destroys our souls, and just leads us down darker and darker paths. Maybe it's different when we have good intentions, I don't know; I've never been good when it comes to metaphysical studies. I just... wish things could have been different. For everyone."

Though she's the one who has to subtly wipe a stray tear from her face as she turns away, she still shakes her head and tells him, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

[justice_is_blond]

And now he feels like shit, because he's making a young woman cry who entirely understandably doesn't want to feel like that much death is ever needed. Who would? He never had.

Anders drops his arms and holds a hand out without any real idea of what he's doing with it, whether just offering a hand or reaching for her shoulder. "No. No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you either. I... I'm used to a lot of people who have been here, who know how badly things can and do get, who have chosen to ignore it because it's easier that way."

He shakes his head. She apparently has confronted things like death and torture, she's not unfamiliar with them. And that she's faced the latter and still doesn't want to kill is impressive, actually.

"I hear so many call me monster, but I'm as much a person as them. They seek to deny me that the way they've denied all mages it for so long, because it's convenient. If someone is a thing, you don't have to worry about them suffering, you don't have to worry about ever being like them. I..." Anders exhales. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I don't really know how to, to bring the intensity down a notch, anymore."

[bookish_lioness]

In all fairness, Hermione would have probably broken down in tears if she'd ever had occasion to leave Skyhold and see just what Thedas is really like. The callous way with which so many people regard death and murder just... it makes no sense to her whatsoever.

She doesn't know what he means to do when he reaches out his hand, but she only shakes her head, gently brushing it aside. "It can't be easier to accept the world as it is. Not when it's as broken as people keep telling me." Her world isn't perfect, no. But at least the average person is aware that rounding a group of people up into Circles and allowing them to be killed simply because someone thought it would be for the greater good is nothing short of genocide.

"You were intense the last time we'd talked, too," she notes quietly. After a moment, she manages to look him in the eye again. She isn't quite smiling, but maybe it would look like she is if not for how sad her eyes look. "But you were never a monster. You did what you thought was right, and many people disagreed with it. And I'm sure some people agreed with it. But you're right, in a way. Worrying about ending up like you, ending up with few options because the state of the world has limited your choices and being forced to compromise your morals.... It's not something I'd like to think about."

Taking a deep breath, she shakes her head and concludes, "I don't envy you, Anders. But I also don't hate you. I wanted to, honestly, but... I can't."

[justice_is_blond]

"Hate is easy." It's another unfortunate truth of this world. "Thinking, realizing that situations are complex, is not."

That's not to say that everyone who hates him is entirely wrong. A few have the right. A majority have chosen the easy way, however, and they always will. There's nothing he can do about that simply fight for what is right.

His hand drops to his side and he nods. There's sadness, but it's not so much as if he'd hurt her. It's more like she's realizing that this world isn't a great place. "People choose to believe that if they have faith and follow the rules, the worst will never befall them. They're wrong, but they don't realize it until too late, until it has cost those around them everything, and then claims them as well. You'll find a great deal of denial and fear here. Rise above it, if you are able. I think you may be."

[bookish_lioness]

"Hate is the hardest thing in the world sometimes," Hermione counters lowly. "At least, that's how it is for most of the decent people I've met."

She's one of those people who'd always followed the rules, who had faith in the government and in being safe in Hogwarts and of having her parents there to always watch out for her. All of those things had proven faulty the past few years, and he's right, she had realized it too late, but even if he's rational and gives off all appearances of being sane, it can't really excuse the fact that he'd killed people. While some might have deserved whatever happened to them, surely not all of them could have.

But then, she's just categorizing him as a murderer again, and she knows enough about the world - her own and, now, Thedas - to know that things aren't that simple. Maybe he's right. Maybe hating is easier. Given the way it knots her stomach up whenever she thinks about it, though, it's hard to see it that way.

"You think a great deal of someone you've only recently met," she notes softly. "Besides, denial is easy, since it can be refuted with evidence. Fear is what's illogical, so it's not always so easy to bypass. Especially not in a place where danger can come in from any side at any moment." Even from people who don't seem quite so dangerous.