Seriously?

[el_tybs]

WHO: Samouel Gareth and Gavin Ashara
WHAT: Sam confronts Gavin about a certain someone
WHEN: After this (after the ball)
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: WTF GAVIN and stuff. Maybe swearing.

As if there was not enough on his mind, it's been extra difficult to concentrate on things after having talked to Maxwell that one night; drinking his heart out to the stars on the battlements and sadly looking at the gift he had yet to give. Having heard what had put his friend in such a state still surprised him.

So he did what any friend would do. Go find the other friend who had done it.

It might have been easier for Sam to have found Gavin by perhaps calling him on the stones, but, honestly, marching around Skyhold had helped him think about what he was going to say and get rid of some of the pent up frustration. Once he finds the elf he sighs and tries not to frown too much before approaching him.

"Gavin."

Comments

[slipshot]

He was pacing the courtyard, frowning far more deeply than was usual, and watching only his feet. So he didn't see Sam when he approached, and only became aware of him when he spoke his name.

The ears twitched up first, as quick as a startled rabbit, before the rest of his face followed. When he recognized who the voice belonged to, however, he relaxed. "Oh. Hi Sam."

[el_tybs]

The reaction startles him a little, slowing down his stride at how Gavin suddenly looks at him, but doesn't stop. It isn't until he's just a bit out of arms reach that he stops, taking in how the elf looks, and considering for a moment what he had been doing not too long ago.

"Hi," he says easily, falling silent for a moment. "We need to talk."

[slipshot]

"Oh, okay."

People saying 'we need to talk' never meant anything good, he had learned. Even when it was him that was the one doing it. And from Sam?

He had absolutely no idea what it could be about, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't like it.

"What do you need?"

[el_tybs]

It's clear that he's about to say something, but just as he opens his mouth he stops and closes it. Glancing around he motions Gavin to follow him, not leaving the courtyard, but to a spot that was a bit more secluded and out of the wind.

He had thought he knew how he wanted to start this, but now he's not as sure. "I want to know why you and Maxwell aren't talking." Well he did know, but Gavin didn't know that. He wanted to hear what this side of the story was.

[slipshot]

He followed Sam mutely, which was strange enough on its own, but when Sam makes his demand, Gavin's ears droop and he looks purely miserable.

"... He doesn't want to talk to me," He said, his voice quiet, and somewhat detached. "He made that pretty clear."

[el_tybs]

Sam sighs seeing how Gavin's ears droop, and listening to how he talks. He had been expecting Gavin to be mad, steeled himself for it really, but now that he was here?

"I'm under the impression that's how he thinks you feel."

[slipshot]

"So you already spoke to him," Gavin said, his eyes sliding away, unwilling or unable to meet Sam's gaze.

"I don't really want to go through that again, no, surprisingly enough," he admitted, his voice incredibly quiet.

[el_tybs]

"Yes. I didn't quite trust him with that nearly finished bottle of alcohol while overlooking the battlements." Well that wasn't a lie, but that had come after they had started talking.

At the volume Gavin is talking he actually has to lean in some. "So you want to talk to him but aren't because you think he doesn't want to?" And Maxwell thinks the same?

[slipshot]

Gavin's ears drooped further, at the idea. If Maxwell hurt himself....

"... Sam, I know you're trying to help," He said quietly, even if he wasn't entirely sure that was true. He still thought it was. "But there's nothing to help. I know he doesn't want to. He made that very, very clear. I went to him for help, and he threw it back in my face, and told me to go to my other friends." It was mostly sad, but he couldn't help the bitterness in there.

"I thought he was different, and I was wrong. I thought he cared about us, and I was wrong."

"I don't need or want another opportunity to be reminded of what I am. I can get that everywhere."

[el_tybs]

As Gavin talks, Sam can feel his lips thinning out more and more, but he lets him talk. Once he's done though? Reaching over he lightly bops him on the head with a fist. It's not enough to hurt him, but Sam makes sure he does feel it.

"Stop that." He can already see where Gavin is spiraling with this. "Look I don't know exactly what happened, but you hurt him just as much as you're saying he hurt you. He does care otherwise he wouldn't be staring at that locket like he does."

[slipshot]

His hand goes up reflexively, but it's not a good motion - it's a motion of someone who assumes he is about to be hit, and hard. He tenses up, and doesn't relax even after Sam pulls his hand away.

"He probably just wants to throw it away," Gavin said, miserably, drawing back out of Sam's reach. "Realising what a stupid mistake he made."

[el_tybs]

At seeing the motion and how Gavin tenses up, Sam frowns. That had been no different than other times he's done it, or given Gavin a punch in the arm. To see that the elf is now reacting like he was suddenly going to be assaulted?

Sam gives a heavy sigh and folds his arms over his chest and flops down on the bench next to him. He's taking away his arms and his height at the moment, hoping to see that Gavin isn't taking him as a threat.

"If that's what he's thinking he would've done it already." Trying to come up with any excuse he can, and not even reasonable ones. "Why do you think Maxwell doesn't care about you, or what you had?"

[slipshot]

"I'm sure he cared about me," Gavin said, looking off in the distance, relaxing slightly now that there was space between them. "Or at least thought he did. But the moment I asked him for help - he accused me of using him for his name, as if I have ever cared or--" He cut off, the anger bubbling up again, glaring off to the horizon.

"He's never treated me like I was stupid, before. Like I didn't know what I was talking about, like I didn't know what was going on. And I didn't - I thought he could see it, the way people treat us, the way things are different. But he just scoffed. And then told me to piss off. What am I supposed to do? Everyone kept warning me that nobles treat people differently - especially elves. I just hadn't... I hadn't seen it before, so I didn't believe them."

[el_tybs]

Sam sighs a bit at hearing all this. Some things were adding up, but obviously the two of them saw this fight differently. Had this really turned into and elf versus human thing?

"Alright, let's slow down, and start from the beginning so I can understand this better. Why did you ask Maxwell for help? What kind of help were you looking for him to give?" He wasn't about to comment on anything else until he had a better understanding of it all.

[slipshot]

Gavin, however, shut down at the question, his eyes sliding away and his lips thinning.

All his conversations about this had led to one conclusion: Humans were going to argue with him. Period. And he didn't want to lose any more friends.

"It isn't important any more," He said a little tightly. "I'll figure it out on my own."

[el_tybs]

Sam frowns at that, knowing he's being shut out, but not knowing exactly why or hoping it isn't because of certain things.

"I do think it's important. You're both my friends and seeing both of you clearly hurting doesn't sit well with me. Both of you think the other doesn't want to talk so clearly neither one of you is going to figure this out on your own." He sighs a bit, shoulders sagging a bit, voice quieting a bit. "You came running to me a while back, asking about having someone killed for Maxwell. I don't think this should be something you give up so easily. We both know asking for help can and is complicated at times."

[slipshot]

His ears drooped in shame, eyes falling to the ground.

"I don't want him hurt, or anyone to hurt him," he admitted quietly. "But I don't know what to do. If I - He's going to get hurt, if he keeps being around me. It's probably for the best if he hates me anyway."

[el_tybs]

"I don't think he hates you, Gavin. He's upset, just like you're upset. You keep saying he doesn't care, that you thought you both were more. He feels you just see him as a friend, which I'm guessing is why he lashed out, thinking the same as you."

Sam sighs again, arms uncurling so he can lean on his knees and rest his chin in his hands. "You're in a relationship right? There are going to be things you don't agree on. You need to talk the important things out because you're different."

[slipshot]

"He is my friend," Gavin said miserably. "I don't understand what's just about it. My parents were best friends. Back - back before, when Pel and I -" he cut off there, sighing. "We were lovers, but we weren't friends. Not really. I didn't understand which was more important..."

And neither did Maxwell, apparently.

His ears and his head drooped, kicking his heels.

"I know I'm not the best friend in the world, but I'm a worse lover, Sam. I don't want to hurt anyone else that badly ever again."

[el_tybs]

Sam sighs. "That's why you need to talk to him, Gavin. Being friends isn't bad but he doesn't just want to be your friend. To him suddenly being the friend and not your lover probably didn't sit well. I get that isn't what you meant but you explained that to me. Calmly."

He would reach out to pat Gavin on the shoulder in a comforting manner but it certainly seems Gavin doesn't even trust him. "You can be a better one if you actually go and talk to him rather than trying to stay mad. You're both going to keep being hurt if you leave it like this."

[slipshot]

'I'm not mad, I just -" He cut off, taking a deep breath.

"There's some things I have to do. That's all. And I couldn't bear to fight with him again. I'll try talking to him later, after I've - after all that is done."

[el_tybs]

He's not mad? That has Sam raising a brow. Really? Because it looked like he was starting to seethe a bit before, glaring off at the horizon.

"Leaving it as it is and waiting... isn't going to make it better, Gavin. You're both going to stew on it, and you never know when we'll be called off on a mission." It was an ugly truth that something could happen during this war. Leaving things unsaid while knowing that-?

"If that's how you want to do it though, I can't do anything about it. Course I'm going to hold you to your word." If Gavin didn't he was going to be rather cross.

[slipshot]

Gavin didn't say anything for a long moment. The fact was, it could very well be impossible to speak with Maxwell, after.

Sam was right. Who knew how long they had.

"I'll speak to him," he said quietly. There were just going to be some things he couldn't say.

[el_tybs]

Well good, Gavin was going to talk with Maxwell. Course now he's worried that the two of them are just going to be stupid and start a fight again.

"Are you going to be alright talking to him on your own?" It's a silent offer to go along, and just being there in case it does get out of hand.

[slipshot]

"I'll manage." He heard the silent offer, but the last thing he wanted was Maxwell thinking he was too cowardly to even speak to him.

[el_tybs]

He highly doubted Maxwell would think that, but he'll let Gavin do it on his own. Don't make him sit you both down in a locked room to talk it out.

"I'm sure some things are going to be said. Try not to lose your head too quickly though - it's going to happen until there is some understanding. I'm hoping he'll keep his head, too, but I'm talking to you right now, so..."

[slipshot]

"I don't want to fight with him, Sam," He said, a nervous edge to his voice. "I'll speak with him, but I don't want to fight with him again."

[el_tybs]

Well they couldn't just not fight about anything - pretending things were fine wouldn't help - but there was a way to do that right? Not that he's going to bring that up. One step at a time.

"I'm just saying, Gavin. I've had my fair share, and sometimes you just have to let things get said before you can get past them. People can say hurtful things when they're mad."

[slipshot]

"I'm not mad," He said again. "I'm disappointed. And afraid that - that the disappointment is true."

He rubbed his arm with a hand and stood up.

"I'm not trying to hurt him, Sam. That's what you came to check, right?"

[el_tybs]

"I came to check because you both hurt each other." Gavin was not the only one at fault here, he wanted him to know that. He also wanted to know that they weren't giving up so easily after trying so hard.

"And I didn't say you were mad. I'm just pointing it out for when you do talk to Max. It's a lot easier to get mad when you're hurt and in turn say hurtful things." He just didn't want Gavin to just up and leave if Maxwell did say something and giving up on trying to talk.

[slipshot]

"Alright. I'll try to keep it in mind."

It was entirely against his nature, but Sam was trying to help, and that meant a lot.

"Thanks, Sam. Sorry."

[el_tybs]

He knows that is in Gavin's nature to do so, which is why he's stressing it. Didn't Gavin know that some things you had to fight for? Also he's a helper, and maybe a little selfish - seeing someone making it work because they were different? He's seen too many break apart because of it.

"I'm not the one you need to be sorry to," he says simply, standing up from the bench. Well he should be 'sorry', but not for that. He's still feeling like he's some bad guy by how Gavin is still keeping his distance, but that isn't something he's about to bring up at this moment.

Course it does make saying 'good-bye' a bit awkward since he's used to giving a pat on the back or something. Instead he just glances at Gavin for a moment with a sigh before looking down at his feet with raised brows. "Guess I'll see you around then." He stands there for a moment, trying to think of anything, but eventually just turns and walks away.