You've got some nerve to come back here

[justice_is_blond]

WHO: Anders, Nathaniel, Kallian
WHAT: Introductions!
WHEN: End of Drakonis
WHERE: Camp Shady Fucker
NOTES: References to/trauma from the alienage slaughter in Denerim.

He's sitting near the fire, keeping a watchful eye on the kitten trying to figure out snow for the thousandth time. She's being entertaining enough, batting at it, taking a couple of steps off the rock next to him, dashing back, that he misses Kalli's entrance to the Warden camp. When he notices her a few moments later, Anders smiles and waves her over, glancing back at Nate who is sitting nearby.

"Have the two of you met?"

Comments

[kallian_endris]

That makes Kallian laugh.

"Well, actually, no. No one told me I had talent until I came to Skyhold. My mother was far better." Her smile turns wistful. "I wish you could have heard her. Such a beautiful voice. But I haven't seen her in years. Not since the slavers took her."

[pinprick]

Nathaniel's demeanor shifts noticeably. He coughs and turns toward Anders, though he doesn't look either of them in the eye.

"I have to...erm. I have an errand I have to run. I'll speak with you later."

Numbly, he turns and starts trotting toward Skyhold.

[justice_is_blond]

It's not the teasing. Anders knows that. Which means it only takes him a handful of seconds to realize what it has to be - Kalli's mother. Whether it's guilt or something else, however, Anders doesn't know, and he can't go chase after Nate because a reaction like that likely is going to sting Kalli. Nate gets a glance after, a mental promise to talk with later, and then Anders is turning back to Kalli.

"It's all right. He's... There's no Grey Warden without baggage, and it's not something you did or said wrong. He'll take care of what it is he needs to attend to and be all right." And Anders will help if he can.

[kallian_endris]

Kallian was already biting her lip, rocking back and forth on her heels.

"Are you sure? I... I didn't mean to upset him. Should.... should I go apologize to him? Is there something I can do to help?

[justice_is_blond]

Anders reaches over and rests a hand on her arm, trying to find a way to explain this.

"You did nothing wrong. I'm very certain. As far as helping... I'm not sure. I'll speak with him later, tonight, when he comes back to the tent to sleep." He takes a breath. "Do you blame people for a parent's actions? It's relevant. I'm not trying to distract you or go off on a tangent."

[kallian_endris]

She hesitates, considering the question carefully.

"I... I don't think it's as simple as yes or no. There are other factors, depending on the child's age, if they knew anything, if they helped or were complicit... If they were part of the actions, then, yes, they would share some blame. But if not, they'd be innocent. Why?"

[justice_is_blond]

"He had a cruel father whom he had nothing to do with. Whose actions he did not partake in. And Nathaniel has a very kind heart, so hearing of your mother..."

He takes a breath and meets her eyes. "Mind. I don't know all of the details. I was in captivity at the time." Solitary confinement, even. "But his father was Rendon Howe, and he holds himself to blame even though there was nothing he could have done. Nate knew nothing, could not have helped, and yet what was done in Denerim and elsewhere weighs him down."

[kallian_endris]

Kalli's blood runs cold and she covers her mouth with a hand for a moment.

"...Arl Howe? He wasn't the only one, but..." She shakes her head.

"...do you want to know what happened?"

[justice_is_blond]

"Only if you don't mind talking about it. I'd not like to push you through memories you don't want to deal with. I simply wanted to explain what was bothering him. But if you'd like, yes." She's been through a lot and he knows it, but sometimes it's helpful to talk.

[kallian_endris]

"Our alienage has long had close ties with the one in Highever. We've had a lot of trade of both goods and people. There was this double wedding the year of the Blight, and at least one of the matches was from Highever, and brought strange news, that Arl Howe had betrayed the teyrn, attacked and killed virtually all of the Couslands. We didn't know what to make of it. And, then, of course, we were all sidetracked when Vaughn, the arl of Denerim's son made a complete mess of the wedding ceremony. Weddings are special--especially group ones like that. The whole alienage celebrates together. And Vaughn was taking women, including members of the wedding party. I remember hiding with my mother, hoping he would ignore us. We were lucky. Others weren't. There were a few who tried to help the women, fight back against the arl's son, but it didn't end well. And with the arl and the king both gone... we had no one to protect us.

I... don't know if Arl Howe had any contact with Denerim's arl or his son or what... I think he and Teyrn Mac Tir maybe.... I don't know details. But not long after that, people started getting sick. My mother was one. These... shems, strangers, were brought in offering spells and taking the infected into their hospice. But... no one who went in ever came back out. And it wasn't like the families were being told they had died. They just... vanished. And soon, they weren't just taking the sick--they were taking people who seemed healthy, not even so much as a sniffle, including one of our elders. I was so scared... I didn't know what would happen to my mother. I prayed for help, anything that could help, and that's... that's when... Well. You know. I asked for help, and I guess I got it, but they still ended up taking her away.

Around the same time, we had templars showing up, trying to find an enclave of maleficar. I don't know if it was maleficar or what, but someone did bring a rage demon into an orphanage. It killed everyone inside, just about, including my best friend at the time.

Later, we found out that the foreign shems weren't healers at all. The whole thing was a ruse. They were slavers from Tevinter, and Arl Howe was the one who had given them permission to take slaves from the alienage, and Teyrn Mac Tir authorized it. And then, of course, the darkspawn attacked... The Hero saved us all, but..."

She sighs.
"Nothing was ever entirely the same after that."

[justice_is_blond]

Anders reaches out to gently take her hands.

"I'm sorry. He is too, more sorry than he or I can say. Please give him time. I'd not... I'd known he felt guilt over his father's actions, but I didn't know it ran so strong and deep still. I thought only to introduce the two of you because of your importance to me."

Not surprisingly, he hadn't thought it through enough.

[kallian_endris]

She shakes her head a little.

"You couldn't have known. Nobody really knew outside the alienage how hard a year it was for us. And... if you say Nathaniel didn't know about it, I believe you. I won't blame him. He shouldn't have to blame himself either. Feeling sorry won't fix anything."

[justice_is_blond]

He sighs.

"Sometimes, the only thing one can do is feel sorrow and regret. It's heavy. But this isn't your fault in the least."

[kallian_endris]

"I was just a little girl, then. But I'm glad for the Hero and his companions. I just... I just wish I could pay them back for what they did for us. The lives they helped and saved."

[justice_is_blond]

"Remember. Thank them if you'd like, some of them are here. But remember what the Grey Wardens do, and that group as well, and that's better than most do." So many have been defended by Grey Wardens, but few care to remember that.