{ OPEN } i'll do what it takes

[serannas]

WHO: Ellana Ashara + OPEN + closed starters for some
WHAT: Catching friends up on recent events/important meetings/random day in the life stuff
WHEN: The latter part of Drakonis, and spanning the entirety of Cloudreach; for the open section, please let me know what day or week so I can keep my time lines straight?
WHERE: around Skyhold

{ open throughout cloudreach; please specify date or week in the subject header }
The new month will hopefully be a reprieve from all the chaos of the last month. Every issue has been a learning experience for her, and that is really the only positive thing she can take from most of what's happened. She's never wished to walk around with eyes closed, and yet now she realizes she must have been, because some of what's happened has certainly opened her eyes. And that's starting to change her. In order to become more worldly, she needs to be less ignorant of the world. To be the type of person who abandons hope for cynicism has no appeal to her, but moving forward she definitely will keep a closer eye on things, and allow herself a cynical thought every now and again. To survive this world, she doesn't need to completely shed who she is, but she needs to be more aware.

On the surface, she appears to be the same. She can be found in varied locations sitting with her lute and an open songbook. Her brow is often furrowed in concentration as she places her fingers on the strings and strums a few chords. Other times she sets the book aside and plays the songs she now has memorized, only tripping up once or twice. If not out with her lute, she's usually spotted with a book, and the subject could be anything: what little is known about elven ruins, books on politics and debate, and even a volume of an encyclopedia on animals, as she reads through their traits to see what would suit her needs.

If she's simply out walking, there's an inexplicable smile gracing her lips that she doesn't realize is there. It makes her look like she's daydreaming, though she's in no danger of walking into a pole. It's just the smile of someone in the throes of a new romance, and very little can erase it when she's thinking of that special someone.

{ drakonis 16th: kallian }
The two had spoken at the soiree about meeting up to perform together the next day, and Ellana sends Kallian a crystal message once she's made sure the tower she's picked is abandoned. It's not that they can't perform in front of others, as Kallian showed last night, but it would be nice to have the privacy to perfect a song and just to talk as well. Ellana's still brimming with excitement over the confession of feelings she and Felix both gave the other, and as Ellana waits for her friend with her lute sat in her lap, there's a bright smile on her face, remembering that kiss.

{ drakonis 18th: sina, beleth }
Ellana doesn't want certain people to hear about her and Felix from third parties because of how they might react. The last thing she wants is for them to think she intentionally kept this from them. However, it takes her several days after the soiree to both work up the courage and find the time. So much seems to be happening at once in Skyhold, and she needs to get into the right head space for talking about a very sensitive topic. The first she goes to find is Sina, because Ellana knows she can be more easily found. She's usually in the gardens or her tent in the gardens, so she makes her way there to look.

Once things have been discussed with Sina, Ellana needs a little break, but then goes to find Beleth. She's the one person in Clan Ashara that Ellana feels might really be against this, but it's hard to know for sure since their interests have taken them in different directions since arriving at Skyhold and they don't speak much. And that makes her harder for Ellana to track down. Finally, she pulls out her crystal and contacts her.

"Beleth? Are you busy?"

{ late drakonis: benevenuta }
Ellana's goal at the soiree had been to not allow the nobles to get away with talking down to her, and in that area, she succeeded as much as she'd been able. Her refusal to either act demure or angry had confused the lot of them, because in their narrow-minded views, an elf could only be a timid servant or an angry savage, not someone who treated nobles as average: neither as someone superior or as a threat to be eliminated.

It had satisfied Ellana, but she knows moving forward that having confidence and being able to bat away derogatory remarks is only part of what she should be doing. At the last meeting of the Mage Council, she'd been lost, and had sat in silence for the latter part of the discussion. She needs to understand how to better navigate politics, and who better than a noble to whom politics comes as second nature? She asks to meet with Benevenuta in private, and like with their mage meetings, she arranges a tea set and some snacks. It's not as well done as one of the Circle mages would have prepared it, but she's done her best.

{ early cloudreach: sam }
They had discussed metalworking over the crystals while Sam was off in Emprise and Ellana was admiring the ring he'd crafted for her back at Skyhold. He'd said he'd teach her how to make designs in metal and she'd figured why not? There are so many things she has yet to try, and he'd said they would just use scrap metal, so she isn't too concerned about being wasteful. One day she goes to look for him at the forge, the air heavy with heat and the light dim inside the armory. But there he is, and thankfully there isn't a crowd of people around either. She doesn't want to get in anyone's way while they're crafting important things.

"Hello, Sam," she greets, already fanning her face in the heat. "What are you making?"

{ late cloudreach: morrigan }
A few days after the soiree, Ellana had sat down with Morrigan and discussed if the latter would teach the former shapeshifting. Ellana had explained her reasons for wanting to learn this specialization and Morrigan agreed to it. She'd been sent off to do plenty of research on the subject, and throughout the rest of Drakonis and into the next month, Ellana had slowly made her way through the readings to get herself into the right mindset.

Now the time has finally come for the practical part of the lesson. Ellana and Morrigan venture outside of Skyhold and down into the valley below, past the refugee camps and into the solitude of the mountains so Ellana can observe the wildlife and learn to copy an animal's soul. She is pretty set on a bird being her first form. To become a bird means she'll be able to see the world from above and can scout out areas on missions. It also means a quick escape if she finds herself in trouble. Here in the mountains, she expects to find brown or gray birds -- perfect for not attracting unwanted attention. As the pair enter under the eaves of the trees, Ellana can hear the songs of plenty of birds, so it shouldn't be hard to study one.

{ late cloudreach: korrin }
Once Ellana unlocks the way to shapeshift, it's an amazing thing. At first she sticks to the ground, learning how to hop along as a bird, but a stray cat coming towards her forces her to spread her wings and take flight. It's awkward at first, but she keeps at it, fluttering between several trees near the stables. Then she grows more brave and lands on the barn roof. Soon she's sailing around Skyhold to land on parapets and banner poles. When she spots Korrin, she figures she ought to let her know she's chosen shapeshifting as a specialization over rift magic, but she doesn't want to give her the shock of her life by shifting back in front of her. She flies into the barn, up to the hayloft, where she turns back into an elf, clothes and all. Then she climbs down and jogs after her friend.

"Korrin! I have some exciting news."

Comments

[serannas]

Ellana's Dalish pride manifests itself in a quiet way, unlike Beleth's or Pel's. She looks at the past, and feels sorrow for all they've lost, but bitterness and anger don't guide her heart. She looks to the future, and sees it as a path she'll walk alone, because it will take a great deal of time for the Dalish as a whole to move forward too. And if Ellana finding ancient ruins can settle the anger in their hearts a little... if they can simply rejoice in having more of their culture instead of lash out that it was lost in the first place, then there is hope for them.

Her thumb rubs against the tree bark, and the rough texture seems to be a focusing point, so no other stray thoughts enter her mind at this crucial time. She doesn't acknowledge Morrigan's words with any outward sign, but she does absorb them, probing deeper as she sorts through all this bird is. An early riser, who feasts on insects and worms at dawn, who hops along the ground where they can be found, sleepy and unaware. The bird then takes flight, surveying the land and steering itself away from danger. Large, predator birds are given the slip, and creatures on the ground can blink and the bird is gone. But beyond that, it is not afraid to let out its trilling call, bright and high-pitched. It's a sound of happiness, of triumph, of finding friends when it feels lonely. The sparrow's little neck stretches as it looks here and there, almost as if it realizes it's under close watch. The bird is observant; alert of danger, but not flying off at the possibility of it. It's brave and confident in itself. For such a little bird, it is more than it appears.

With a smile, Ellana straightens up, pushing off the tree. She draws in a breath, takes two steps forward, and in a cloud of dark purple smoke and tendrils of electricity, her body transforms down into a copy of the little sparrow with a brown body and gray head. Her wings flap, and it's an awkward thing. She dips down and adjusts, but still comes down to the ground. It isn't a harsh landing, however, and she hops along the forest floor for a moment before lifting off once more, wings flapping to achieve flight. The sparrow up in the tree has lifted off itself, moving up to an even higher branch to watch this display from a place of safety.

Ellana practices flying up to a branch, and when she makes it, she turns to address Morrigan with a bird call.

[arcaneadvisor]

Watching carefully, Morrigan allows for a proud smile when Ellana manages because flight is never easy, in fact it is one of the most difficult feats to master because no one experiences it. A person might fall but that will only make them remember fear and pain, hardly what is needed for this and the only things harder still are things like the stinging swarm when you must divide yourself so many times yet still remain as one, harder than growing or shedding limbs, or becoming the blighted forms that she doubts she could truly teach now for she wouldn't know where to find them now without a Blight. She might introduce Darkspawn blood to dragon's blood should she procure the former (if Alistair should prove willing) but she is not about to try to forcefully inflict the Blight upon a wild beast simply to allow someone to become something more powerful.

They might be able to mimic by watching her but even then, she is selective about whom she shows those forms to.

It was never like this with Flemeth. Flemeth was only proud because she viewed her daughter as an extension of herself, her teaching, her blood, her power, her vessel in the future, all her effort bearing fruit but she will smile for Ellana and not allow any of the sharpness that might have entered her mother's voice at her first efforts and she calls up as a person first, offering rare praise, and rarer still her smile, like those fleeting days of summer sun in Ferelden.

"You do well, tis not easy to spread your wings, think how long a bird must be encouraged." As she speaks she approaches with care, following the progress until she has to crane her neck up because it's easier for a person who has studied unlike a fledgling and she's quick to shed her form herself. Flight she knows well and she flies up to land, cocking her head to the side and flapping her wings as she croaks throatily, not so sweet as a sparrow. No time like the present, a short flight to boost her confidence, so she will never forget that yes, she did this, that she took not only her first step but felt the wind beneath her as the very world itself melted away.

[serannas]

If asked how she managed to get up on the branch, Ellana would have no answer. She just... did it. Maybe it's because she's spent so long feeling like she had wings lifted in flight, ready to soar, but she was always trapped on the ground. Trapped in the clan, having to stay close to the aravels and the fires, and only pushing the limits as far as she dared into the woods. She's been ready to fly for years, and somehow that translated into a practical application. But it's just one branch. She hasn't yet tried to glide on the winds, or lift up, up, up high into the sky.

She watches as Morrigan lifts off and lands beside her. She hops on the branch, feeling the change to her center of balance, and flaps her wings to adjust for it. She chirps happily, as close to an excited squeal as a little bird can get. And with Morrigan beside her, she feels she can better study the proper way to fly, so she takes off again, doing a short burst before coming back down. It will be easier once they get out from under the trees, because right now, she has to dodge them. She takes off again, doing short bursts of flight as she aims to leave the trees behind and get out into the open air.

[arcaneadvisor]

That is so often the way of it. The itch beneath the skin, the prickle like burrs or stray feathers caught somehow under the clothes and between them and the skin; hearthmistresses, not First, not Second, needed of course but fire can be kindled without the touch of magic after all, without the secret lore passed down a long line of Keepers from Arlathan to the Dales to wherever they have wandered since. The Wilds had always called to Morrigan before she had been ready but perhaps it had been because she had not had a plan to keep herself safe after, she hadn't seen what there was within herself, what she could truly accomplish and she hasn't been back even once though she doesn't trust that Flemeth is dead.

She does trust that he did fight her but such things as a legend cannot stay slain for long, not if they're not entirely human.

Flapping her wings again, she takes flight, beating them hard, up and up until she hits the higher air where it's easier, croaking encouragement; this is always the worst part, she would say if she could speak like this, but she circles instead, to show that no effort is involved, only the odd flap to keep her level as she soars. For a small bird, getting up won't be as much of a problem, and well there are plenty of leaves when she has to remember how to land when the time comes.

[serannas]

It's both thrilling and frightening, being so high up in the air, but Ellana finds herself growing more comfortable the more she tries, and gliding on the winds high up isn't hard once she realizes she's not going to fall out of the sky. She has wings, and she can catch herself that way. Following Morrigan's example, she circles through the air, sometimes dropping down as she loses the glide she's put herself in. But overall, she's doing well enough. She's not crash landing, in any case.

[arcaneadvisor]

Morrigan is the first to come down, claws turning to her long black boots, the only feathers to be found those on her robes as she gives herself a shake and smooths her hair though it never looks out of place no matter how many times she does this. She can talk like this though and she cups a hand to her mouth, the other shielding her eyes from the sun shining through the gaps in the branches as she smiles up at her.

"Well done," she calls. "Well done indeed to take to the wing so well - it shows how ready you have been for some time then, and that you have been listening to far more than just the lessons of today."

[serannas]

When Ellana descends, it's much less smooth, and she waits until she's safely back on the ground before starting to transform back. Thankfully, it goes as well as her shifting into a bird, and all her bits are in the right places.

"That was incredible!" she says, green eyes wide. "It feel so freeing, and like I-- I don't know. Like I could do anything!"

[arcaneadvisor]

There's nothing quite like watching someone master something new, and with this then well how does one describe truly tasting freedom for the first time? Walking around in your own skin freely is all well and good but to burst through the branches and feel the wind through feathers as you trill out a song is something so very few will ever know beyond their dreams. A rare thing, precious and nearly forgotten, something of value and she smiles indulgently, retrieving her staff and strapping it to her back again as she joins Ellana, giving her a quick inspection just to be sure.

Easier to be something else in a dream where you bend reality to fit you where you can go back, but for all that this world can be moved more easily than people think, it would be disaster to be stuck.

"That has always sat within you," she replies. "With time and effort you will find other forms to suit for different reasons but you chose well for your purpose, shall I expect to find a sparrow in my study if I should leave the door open a crack?"

[serannas]

Even now back in elf form, Ellana feels changed. The bird is still within her, now a part of her own soul. She understands Morrigan's words completely, because that restless feeling was always the potential she had to take flight, only it had no outlet. Until now.

"That sounds like an invitation, so yes. I would use it as practice to get in tight spaces." Ellana isn't really the type to force herself in where she isn't wanted, so while another student might try to impress Morrigan by attempting a break-in to sit proudly on her desk as an animal (probably impossible, if Morrigan wards things well), Ellana waits until she's welcomed.

[arcaneadvisor]

"I will trust you then to close it behind you and to take nothing if I am not there though I leave it locked when I leave." Warded too because she isn't a naive fool, because nowhere is safe, not even Skyhold because they can't be sure of anyone when they've already revealed such huge secrets can be kept right under the noses of those who should know them, when those in charge don't even talk to one another. "Whenever you wish to discuss other forms or to ask questions, or simply to talk then you are welcome, Kieran may ask you questions if he is there, he enjoys meeting new people."

[serannas]

"I understand," she replies. Ellana is no thief, and even if she was, she'd be a fool to try and steal from Morrigan. There are some people that you just don't cross, and Ellana can tell that Morrigan is one of them.

The extended invitation makes her smile, and she feels this is actually a rather important thing. From what she knows of Morrigan so far, she knows the woman is practical, and cuts through nonsense to get to what she needs. But allowing Ellana to just come to talk? That means a lot to her. Especially since Morrigan is also giving her permission to talk to her son.

"I would enjoy meeting him too. Does he share his mother's interest in elven history?"

[arcaneadvisor]

"Kieran is a boy of ten." That is and isn't an answer. She doesn't always know what sort of answer to give when it comes to Kieran, what gives too much or too little away when she was more used to people not being able to make the connection in the court simply because she did not (could not) allow it. "Tis but the two of us so I suppose what I work on has had an influence upon him too. He enjoys any sort of story he might hear."

If there is guilt in that, she is good enough to keep it buried when speaking to those who weren't part of her life before Kieran ever came into the picture.

[serannas]

"He and I have that in common," Ellana answers. "I love stories. I used to run to find Gavin whenever he returned to the clan after one of his adventures to hear all about it." But now that they've finished out here, she turns back towards Skyhold.

"Should we fly back, until we get too close to the refugees?"