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{ OPEN } i'll do what it takes
WHO: Ellana Ashara + OPEN + closed starters for some
WHAT: Catching friends up on recent events/important meetings/random day in the life stuff
WHEN: The latter part of Drakonis, and spanning the entirety of Cloudreach; for the open section, please let me know what day or week so I can keep my time lines straight?
WHERE: around Skyhold
WHAT: Catching friends up on recent events/important meetings/random day in the life stuff
WHEN: The latter part of Drakonis, and spanning the entirety of Cloudreach; for the open section, please let me know what day or week so I can keep my time lines straight?
WHERE: around Skyhold
{ open throughout cloudreach; please specify date or week in the subject header }
The new month will hopefully be a reprieve from all the chaos of the last month. Every issue has been a learning experience for her, and that is really the only positive thing she can take from most of what's happened. She's never wished to walk around with eyes closed, and yet now she realizes she must have been, because some of what's happened has certainly opened her eyes. And that's starting to change her. In order to become more worldly, she needs to be less ignorant of the world. To be the type of person who abandons hope for cynicism has no appeal to her, but moving forward she definitely will keep a closer eye on things, and allow herself a cynical thought every now and again. To survive this world, she doesn't need to completely shed who she is, but she needs to be more aware.
On the surface, she appears to be the same. She can be found in varied locations sitting with her lute and an open songbook. Her brow is often furrowed in concentration as she places her fingers on the strings and strums a few chords. Other times she sets the book aside and plays the songs she now has memorized, only tripping up once or twice. If not out with her lute, she's usually spotted with a book, and the subject could be anything: what little is known about elven ruins, books on politics and debate, and even a volume of an encyclopedia on animals, as she reads through their traits to see what would suit her needs.
If she's simply out walking, there's an inexplicable smile gracing her lips that she doesn't realize is there. It makes her look like she's daydreaming, though she's in no danger of walking into a pole. It's just the smile of someone in the throes of a new romance, and very little can erase it when she's thinking of that special someone.
The new month will hopefully be a reprieve from all the chaos of the last month. Every issue has been a learning experience for her, and that is really the only positive thing she can take from most of what's happened. She's never wished to walk around with eyes closed, and yet now she realizes she must have been, because some of what's happened has certainly opened her eyes. And that's starting to change her. In order to become more worldly, she needs to be less ignorant of the world. To be the type of person who abandons hope for cynicism has no appeal to her, but moving forward she definitely will keep a closer eye on things, and allow herself a cynical thought every now and again. To survive this world, she doesn't need to completely shed who she is, but she needs to be more aware.
On the surface, she appears to be the same. She can be found in varied locations sitting with her lute and an open songbook. Her brow is often furrowed in concentration as she places her fingers on the strings and strums a few chords. Other times she sets the book aside and plays the songs she now has memorized, only tripping up once or twice. If not out with her lute, she's usually spotted with a book, and the subject could be anything: what little is known about elven ruins, books on politics and debate, and even a volume of an encyclopedia on animals, as she reads through their traits to see what would suit her needs.
If she's simply out walking, there's an inexplicable smile gracing her lips that she doesn't realize is there. It makes her look like she's daydreaming, though she's in no danger of walking into a pole. It's just the smile of someone in the throes of a new romance, and very little can erase it when she's thinking of that special someone.
{ drakonis 16th: kallian }
The two had spoken at the soiree about meeting up to perform together the next day, and Ellana sends Kallian a crystal message once she's made sure the tower she's picked is abandoned. It's not that they can't perform in front of others, as Kallian showed last night, but it would be nice to have the privacy to perfect a song and just to talk as well. Ellana's still brimming with excitement over the confession of feelings she and Felix both gave the other, and as Ellana waits for her friend with her lute sat in her lap, there's a bright smile on her face, remembering that kiss.
The two had spoken at the soiree about meeting up to perform together the next day, and Ellana sends Kallian a crystal message once she's made sure the tower she's picked is abandoned. It's not that they can't perform in front of others, as Kallian showed last night, but it would be nice to have the privacy to perfect a song and just to talk as well. Ellana's still brimming with excitement over the confession of feelings she and Felix both gave the other, and as Ellana waits for her friend with her lute sat in her lap, there's a bright smile on her face, remembering that kiss.
{ drakonis 18th: sina, beleth }
Ellana doesn't want certain people to hear about her and Felix from third parties because of how they might react. The last thing she wants is for them to think she intentionally kept this from them. However, it takes her several days after the soiree to both work up the courage and find the time. So much seems to be happening at once in Skyhold, and she needs to get into the right head space for talking about a very sensitive topic. The first she goes to find is Sina, because Ellana knows she can be more easily found. She's usually in the gardens or her tent in the gardens, so she makes her way there to look.
Once things have been discussed with Sina, Ellana needs a little break, but then goes to find Beleth. She's the one person in Clan Ashara that Ellana feels might really be against this, but it's hard to know for sure since their interests have taken them in different directions since arriving at Skyhold and they don't speak much. And that makes her harder for Ellana to track down. Finally, she pulls out her crystal and contacts her.
"Beleth? Are you busy?"
Ellana doesn't want certain people to hear about her and Felix from third parties because of how they might react. The last thing she wants is for them to think she intentionally kept this from them. However, it takes her several days after the soiree to both work up the courage and find the time. So much seems to be happening at once in Skyhold, and she needs to get into the right head space for talking about a very sensitive topic. The first she goes to find is Sina, because Ellana knows she can be more easily found. She's usually in the gardens or her tent in the gardens, so she makes her way there to look.
Once things have been discussed with Sina, Ellana needs a little break, but then goes to find Beleth. She's the one person in Clan Ashara that Ellana feels might really be against this, but it's hard to know for sure since their interests have taken them in different directions since arriving at Skyhold and they don't speak much. And that makes her harder for Ellana to track down. Finally, she pulls out her crystal and contacts her.
"Beleth? Are you busy?"
{ late drakonis: benevenuta }
Ellana's goal at the soiree had been to not allow the nobles to get away with talking down to her, and in that area, she succeeded as much as she'd been able. Her refusal to either act demure or angry had confused the lot of them, because in their narrow-minded views, an elf could only be a timid servant or an angry savage, not someone who treated nobles as average: neither as someone superior or as a threat to be eliminated.
It had satisfied Ellana, but she knows moving forward that having confidence and being able to bat away derogatory remarks is only part of what she should be doing. At the last meeting of the Mage Council, she'd been lost, and had sat in silence for the latter part of the discussion. She needs to understand how to better navigate politics, and who better than a noble to whom politics comes as second nature? She asks to meet with Benevenuta in private, and like with their mage meetings, she arranges a tea set and some snacks. It's not as well done as one of the Circle mages would have prepared it, but she's done her best.
Ellana's goal at the soiree had been to not allow the nobles to get away with talking down to her, and in that area, she succeeded as much as she'd been able. Her refusal to either act demure or angry had confused the lot of them, because in their narrow-minded views, an elf could only be a timid servant or an angry savage, not someone who treated nobles as average: neither as someone superior or as a threat to be eliminated.
It had satisfied Ellana, but she knows moving forward that having confidence and being able to bat away derogatory remarks is only part of what she should be doing. At the last meeting of the Mage Council, she'd been lost, and had sat in silence for the latter part of the discussion. She needs to understand how to better navigate politics, and who better than a noble to whom politics comes as second nature? She asks to meet with Benevenuta in private, and like with their mage meetings, she arranges a tea set and some snacks. It's not as well done as one of the Circle mages would have prepared it, but she's done her best.
{ early cloudreach: sam }
They had discussed metalworking over the crystals while Sam was off in Emprise and Ellana was admiring the ring he'd crafted for her back at Skyhold. He'd said he'd teach her how to make designs in metal and she'd figured why not? There are so many things she has yet to try, and he'd said they would just use scrap metal, so she isn't too concerned about being wasteful. One day she goes to look for him at the forge, the air heavy with heat and the light dim inside the armory. But there he is, and thankfully there isn't a crowd of people around either. She doesn't want to get in anyone's way while they're crafting important things.
"Hello, Sam," she greets, already fanning her face in the heat. "What are you making?"
They had discussed metalworking over the crystals while Sam was off in Emprise and Ellana was admiring the ring he'd crafted for her back at Skyhold. He'd said he'd teach her how to make designs in metal and she'd figured why not? There are so many things she has yet to try, and he'd said they would just use scrap metal, so she isn't too concerned about being wasteful. One day she goes to look for him at the forge, the air heavy with heat and the light dim inside the armory. But there he is, and thankfully there isn't a crowd of people around either. She doesn't want to get in anyone's way while they're crafting important things.
"Hello, Sam," she greets, already fanning her face in the heat. "What are you making?"
{ late cloudreach: morrigan }
A few days after the soiree, Ellana had sat down with Morrigan and discussed if the latter would teach the former shapeshifting. Ellana had explained her reasons for wanting to learn this specialization and Morrigan agreed to it. She'd been sent off to do plenty of research on the subject, and throughout the rest of Drakonis and into the next month, Ellana had slowly made her way through the readings to get herself into the right mindset.
Now the time has finally come for the practical part of the lesson. Ellana and Morrigan venture outside of Skyhold and down into the valley below, past the refugee camps and into the solitude of the mountains so Ellana can observe the wildlife and learn to copy an animal's soul. She is pretty set on a bird being her first form. To become a bird means she'll be able to see the world from above and can scout out areas on missions. It also means a quick escape if she finds herself in trouble. Here in the mountains, she expects to find brown or gray birds -- perfect for not attracting unwanted attention. As the pair enter under the eaves of the trees, Ellana can hear the songs of plenty of birds, so it shouldn't be hard to study one.
A few days after the soiree, Ellana had sat down with Morrigan and discussed if the latter would teach the former shapeshifting. Ellana had explained her reasons for wanting to learn this specialization and Morrigan agreed to it. She'd been sent off to do plenty of research on the subject, and throughout the rest of Drakonis and into the next month, Ellana had slowly made her way through the readings to get herself into the right mindset.
Now the time has finally come for the practical part of the lesson. Ellana and Morrigan venture outside of Skyhold and down into the valley below, past the refugee camps and into the solitude of the mountains so Ellana can observe the wildlife and learn to copy an animal's soul. She is pretty set on a bird being her first form. To become a bird means she'll be able to see the world from above and can scout out areas on missions. It also means a quick escape if she finds herself in trouble. Here in the mountains, she expects to find brown or gray birds -- perfect for not attracting unwanted attention. As the pair enter under the eaves of the trees, Ellana can hear the songs of plenty of birds, so it shouldn't be hard to study one.
{ late cloudreach: korrin }
Once Ellana unlocks the way to shapeshift, it's an amazing thing. At first she sticks to the ground, learning how to hop along as a bird, but a stray cat coming towards her forces her to spread her wings and take flight. It's awkward at first, but she keeps at it, fluttering between several trees near the stables. Then she grows more brave and lands on the barn roof. Soon she's sailing around Skyhold to land on parapets and banner poles. When she spots Korrin, she figures she ought to let her know she's chosen shapeshifting as a specialization over rift magic, but she doesn't want to give her the shock of her life by shifting back in front of her. She flies into the barn, up to the hayloft, where she turns back into an elf, clothes and all. Then she climbs down and jogs after her friend.
"Korrin! I have some exciting news."
no subject
"Ellana, I know that it wasn't easy, being the third mage," Beleth starts out, pressing her hands together. It's a...delicate topic, and one that she wanted to approach with caution. "You had to make a lot of sacrifices. But I know that the Keeper never disliked you, and she appreciated that you were willing to do what was necessary. Now that Pel has left the clan, if you go back...you'll become Second. You realize that, right? And once Sorrel is Keeper, you'll become First. You could even become Keeper yourself, one day." She doesn't know Felix that well, but Beleth has spent enough time envious of the potential that was now within Ellana's grasp that it seemed bizarre to give up the ability to have it, all for a man.
no subject
"I... I didn't consider that. She never taught me Keeper magic. She said I'd never become a Keeper." Her eyes lower to her lap, and she runs her thumb over a fingernail as she thinks. "I've never felt like I fit in because of that, you know. All Dalish mages are meant to be Keepers, except me. So I had to look beyond to figure out who I am, and I think I've found it here." She gestures out the barn doors.
"It sounds nice, Beleth," she murmurs. "I used to dream what my life would be like if your mother had sent me to another clan, and I was going to be a Keeper someday. But if that had happened, I would be there right now, watching the world fall apart and retreating further and further away from it, instead of here, trying to save it. I know she did me a favor, even though sometimes it hurt, because it led me here. I would love it if the clan allowed me to come back and visit, but I want to stay out here and make a difference."
no subject
She paused, squinting. "Did you ever even ask to be transferred?"
It was completely away from the topic they'd been on, but Beleth couldn't help it. This was her mother, her Keeper, her leader. She loved her mother, as much as she might grouse to herself. Everything that Beleth was, and believed in, called for devotion to Deheune.
no subject
"I've always been grateful," she says, voice rising. "Grateful when your mother took me aside and told me I would never be a Keeper, so there was no point in teaching me anything beyond the basics. It would be wasted on me. Grateful when I was left behind with the elderly while you all went off to the Arlathvhen because I was a secret to the other clans. Grateful when I couldn't stray too far into the woods because the Templars would surely catch me even though you hunters traveled wherever you wanted. So no, Beleth, I didn't ask to be transferred because I was just so grateful of the mercy offered me, that it would have been an insult to ask to be placed elsewhere."
no subject
When Beleth speaks, her voice is quiet, but trembling with barely restrained anger.
"My mother risked the safety of the entire clan for you, Ellana, or did you think that if any Templars found you, that they would kill you and leave the rest of us alone? That they wouldn't kill the rest of the clan, my mother, my brother? Or were you so obsessed with your own selfish desires, and what you had to sacrifice, that you never bothered to consider what we were risking, to allow you to stay with a clan that you knew?" Her voice rises as she does, standing up, hands balled into fists. "I would have been honored to be taught even what you were, and I would have been glad to trade it for staying behind! Because I would be grateful! Not just playing graciousness, and throwing a tantrum when I didn't get something I never asked for! Did you ever think that my mother had you stay here because she thought that it's what would make you happy, and if you had just told her what would make you happy, that she would have done that, instead? She is the best Keeper any Dalish could ask for--The best mother--" Crying when you get really, and truly angry is kind of embarrassing, but that had never stopped Beleth's tears before, and they came now--spilling out of her eyes, burning hot, just like the rest of her.
"I think," She choked out, voice lower again, but with just as much vitriol, "That perhaps it is a good thing after all, that you don't want to be Keeper. Because you would make a terrible one. I wish you and Felix the best." And with that, she spins around, starting towards the stairs.
no subject
And when Beleth starts towards the stairs, Ellana doesn't think, but launches forward, not touching Beleth but getting close enough to glare down at her.
"If the clan is so perfect with the best Keeper, then why don't you just go back to it? Why are you even here? Isn't it better for you to return to them, and let the selfish stay here?"
no subject
Once her reasoning ability reconnects with her brain and assures her that Ellana isn't about to take a sword and attempt to run her through, the anger flows back in--but somewhat tampered. She moves to the top of the stairs, feeling slightly better with an exit right in front of her.
"I am here," She began, looking at her hands, tone more sullen than enraged now. "Because it is my duty to help the Inquisition, as I promised the Keeper, as I promised when I joined. And I will fulfill that duty to the best of my ability. And once the Inquisition has dealt with Corypheus and his followers, I will return to the clan, which is also my duty. It's not particularly complicated."
no subject
"Fine. Then do your duty. Let's see if you can do it without patronizing everyone around you."
no subject
"Dirthara-ma."
And with that, she leaves, only dabbing at her eyes with her scarf once she couldn't see Ellana anymore.