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WHO: Felix and OPEN
WHAT: Felix returns home after being away doing Warden-related things.
WHEN: After Wintermarch 13th
WHERE: Skyhold proper and warden camp, feel free to place your reply in either as Felix will spend time in both areas.
NOTES: None

Felix had been gone for a bit longer than expected. The mission with the Wardens was supposed to take only a few weeks and had lasted for longer than a month. While away he hadn't complained and had dealt with his duties admirably. He still had some thoughts in his head that he wasn't good enough to be within their ranks, but none of the Wardens he had traveled with had made him feel that way. There had been a bit of teasing for him being the newest Warden among them, but otherwise it had felt like he belonged there. It was almost peculiar to think about.

Either way, he still felt relieved when Skyhold came back into view. There was time spent in the Warden camp, debriefing and discussing, and then Felix wandered back up to the castle itself. He had changed from his Warden uniform and cleaned a bit because he wanted to look decent when he showed his face within the castle's walls.

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The stronghold seems quieter with so many out in Orlais, stationed at various posts or taking time to recover after the events in Halamshiral. Ellana awaits their return here, thankful to have been spared the terrifying experience. She's kept herself busy by organizing her travels to elven ruins into a new journal that maybe Varric with his connections can someday help her get published. She's kept up at the lute, fingers gaining callouses from the strings, but she's learned no new songs since Felix has been away; merely tried perfecting old ones. And she's settled on a final shapeshift form: a big cat to claw and bite at her enemies should there be need.

All in all, life has moved forward well enough. His absence was a good test of their relationship and what she must expect it to be like from now on. Wardens have duties that go above those of the heart, but she thinks she's born the separation well. When he finds her, she's lost in thought, her journal open in her lap and a faraway look on her face. Catching movement out of the corner of her eye, she looks over, eyes taking in the figure first before they flicker up to the face and she inhales a sharp breath of surprise.

Her journal tumbles from her lap as she jumps to her feet and throws her arms around his neck, squeezing him tight. Her senses are flooded with the familiar and a laugh bubbles up from her throat. Then she pulls back, holding him at arms' length and clearing her throat. She tries to tamp down her smile as she says, "Sorry, who are you again?" but doesn't quite do it.

Felix has felt an odd lump in his throat when he first saw her. It almost felt impossible to see someone who looked so beautiful and who made him feel like he had come home.Then she was there in his arms and it was even more impossible that he was holding onto someone so wonderful. He was grateful he had thought to clean up before coming here. He didn't want her to see him all tired and filthy from his trek up the mountain back to the stronghold.

He chuckles softly at the joke. "I'm not entirely certain. I was hoping that you'd help to remind me."

And in return, she has the kindest, most caring man in the world here in her arms once more. The strength of his mind and his heart has always left her in awe and even with distance between them, she knew he was staying true to himself and doing good works for the Wardens. She swears she can feel more bulk on his arms than when last he was here. Probably swinging a sword and doing other physically taxing things. But he's healthy and stronger now, so she doesn't have to worry.

"Hmm," she begins, eyes narrowing in thought. "Hmm, what if I...?" Ellana trails off and moves to press herself against him, lips teasingly grazing against his.

"Is it coming back to you yet?"

His arms are stronger and his skin is healthier. He'll probably always have some sign of what the Blight did to him, but he seems almost normal now, strong and capable. It's worth the taint to have a moment like this when he can be with her and hold her without feeling weak or in pain. Even though it's been so long since his Joining, he still marvels every day at the life that was given to him.

The kiss is gentle and sweet and he moves to wrap an arm around her fully. "A bit. We might need to try again." This time he leans down to kiss her. It's still more sweet than heated, but his is a bit firmer.

Ellana giggles against his mouth, but moves a hand to cradle the back of his head, joining him in deepening the kiss. Maybe she should be more conscious of where they are, since an elf and human kissing out in the open isn't a sight many probably wish to see, but this moment of reunion has temporarily washed all logical thoughts from her mind. All she can think about is Felix and how comfortable this all is. Nothing is more comforting than the familiar, and Felix knows her better than anybody. He knows all her stories, all her experiences, and she's never hidden a thought or feeling from him. It's like -- she suddenly realizes -- her other half is here again, filling up that reserved spot in her heart.

"Mm," she hums, softly breaking the kiss. "How about now? Getting a sense of who you are?"

Felix feels as if he came back to life just for this. The work he was doing with the Wardens could be considered important, but it was being with her that had made the Joining worthwhile. He grins when she pulled back.

"Yes," he says softly. "I'm Felix Alexius, a Warden, and madly in love with you." It was cheesy but one thing he knew was that she didn't mind cheesy.

"Ah, good to know," she replies, eyes bright and full of love for him in return. If there's one thing that can be said for Ellana, it's that she's a hopeless romantic, so no, she doesn't mind cheesy, sentimental words like these. In her eyes, they're perfect.

But now that they've established who he is, she turns her attention back to the ground and pulls back enough to retrieve her journal and piece of charcoal.

"We should go somewhere more private to catch up. My room? It's closer than the Warden camp."

He nods. "I'd like that." He glances around for a moment, looking out for anyone who might be staring. He wasn't embarrassed to be with her, of course, but there was always this concern what people would think of her for being with the son of a disgraced Tevinter magister.

"You have to tell me everything I missed," he adds as he pulls back to taker her hand so that she can lead the way to her room.

They're a rather unique pairing; there's no doubt about that. Thankfully a number of people have gotten used to the sight of elves and humans mixing company, but there will always be plenty around to judge it harshly as well.

"Well, there has been plenty of good and bad. I take it you've heard about what happened at the Winter Palace already, so I won't repeat it now. Before that, we were celebrating Satinalia and First Day like last year. I went out to the Hinterlands to rescue missing Tranquil, or at least find out what happened to them, and we defeated Venatori who had been kidnapping them. Beyond that, it's been quiet here. What about you? What were you off doing?"

As she tells him all this, she leads him through the Great Hall and towards the rooms that line the rear of the stronghold. Hers is among them, and it's been her own private sanctuary since Sabriel left. Unlocking the door, she leads him inside and waits to close the door behind him. Her room is simple, with a queen sized bed, dresser, and small table by one side of the bed. There's a small curtained window too, but that's it.

Tranquil always make him uncomfortable. He just isn't used to the idea of them and being around them reminds him that if he had been a mage in the South he probably would have ended up like them - his magic was too weak and a mark for death in Tevinter, but down South they tended to mark weak mages and shove them into research roles. Still, he's always careful to be kind to them. It's not their fault he feels his stomach twist when he's around one.

"Mainly tracking darkspawn," he admits. He can't share more details than that. "They don't want us getting anywhere near the Venatori, for obvious reasons, but there are plenty of darkspawn who just seem to realize they can take advantage of the chaos." A pause, "It's strange how they can sometimes remind me of my country men." His voice is light when he says it, showing that he means it as a joke - mostly.

She sits on the bed and pats the spot beside her. To tell the truth, the Tranquil unnerve her too, and she thinks they must do that to most people, or at least most mages. To see what it looks like to lose such a vital part of yourself makes you desperate to hold onto it.

"Is that so?" she asks, lifting a brow and smiling faintly. She loops her arm around his and tucks herself in close. "It must be hard, knowing what so many of them are like, and being so different from them." There's a pause as she reflects on that, and realizes how it sounds. She didn't mean because he isn't a talented mage.

"I mean in values, in mind. You're so caring."

He smiles a bit and moves to sit by her. It's easy to move his arm to let her rest against him. It's nice to feel so solid and strong that she can put her weight against him.

"You aren't like many other Dalish," he points out carefully. He doesn't mean that in a bad way, and his knowledge of the Dalish is very limited, but he knows her and knows she wasn't happy in that life. "I think you'd be able to relate a bit... without all of the blood magic and murder."

"Hmm," she hums out, lifting her eyes at the ceiling and realizing how right he is. Most other Dalish are so angry all the time; so bitter. They're vindictive towards humans and hold on to a dying culture instead of trying to embrace change in addition to celebrating what they have left.

"I guess you're right. But since I've left my clan... I don't know what that makes me. Am I even Dalish anymore? Are you even a Tevinter if you don't live there and don't agree with what they do?"

"Yes," he says, with certainty. Even if he was a Warden and even if he was still freezing his toes off in the South he was still and always would be Tevinter. "But that would be like saying I wasn't human any more. My home country will always be a part of me." He reached up with his free hand and touched her hair and face. For a moment, it seemed like he was stunned by her beauty.

"What you are is up to you. No one can define that for you."

She blushes when he touches her, as if it's the first time all over again. Their love always feels new and exciting in moments like this, but there are times it settles into quiet familiarity too. How it can be all these things at once, she doesn't know.

"My vallaslin will always make me appear Dalish, and I love the Creators a great deal. But the way the Dalish act as a whole..." Ellana shakes her head. "I don't want to be associated with them. It's hard to say. I don't think I can come up with an answer right now." Because there are people like Cyril and Merrill who Ellana is proud to count herself among. There are Dalish in Rivain who are so kind and open to all visitors to their clan. She likes being associated with that kind of Dalish elf.

"Then don't," he reassures her. "No one says you have to make up your mind on who you are right now." He offers her a bit of an encouraging smile. "And who you are might change from day to day. That's all right too."

"You're right. I don't need to have a descriptor ready to give people, right? I can just be Ellana and anyone who cares whether I'm Dalish or not is probably someone who shouldn't matter to me." She hugs his arm tight, forever grateful that he's in her life. Again she's reminded that his time in this world is short and one day he'll go to the Deep Roads and never return to her. It isn't fair. Why should such a generous, kind, wonderful man like him have to lay down his life while terrible, awful people are allowed to die old in their beds?

"I'm so glad you're back."

When she hugs him he trails the hand of the arm around her over her back. "I am too," he admits. "I missed this place. I missed you." Skyhold had somehow started to feel like home, even if he spent most of his time outside of it in the camp with the other Wardens.

"I want you around for a good, long time." Her words are serious, and she suddenly shifts on the bed to draw up one leg and face him.

"How long have the Wardens been around? Hundreds and hundreds of years? And they've all fallen to fighting darkspawn?" It seems like these questions are coming out of nowhere, but she can't believe they've been around for so long and never question the way they go out.

Not all of them, but he doesn't know how much of that he can tell her. "That is the life I signed up for," he says, and his voice was a little bemused sounding. It does feel like it's coming out of nowhere so the confusion is understandable.

"Yes, of course," she says, though there is something urgent in her voice. "Why is it that Wardens aren't allowed to retire? The Blight only comes once every hundred years, and the last one only came after hundreds of years without one. Why can't there be a smaller force for the years in between Blights? Surely if they know how to give the Blight to someone and keep them alive for years, there has to be a way to draw the Blight back out, right?"

Felix considers her a moment. "No, I don't think so," he admits after a moment. That seemed safe to admit to. He wasn't giving her any details that were protected. "They are pretty clear that the Joining is permanent. I might not have been able to give it a lot of thought, but Alistair still made sure I understood I was devoting the rest of my life to the Order."

He looks away for a moment, as he thinks about what he had been going through before he put that blood to his lips. "Considering how much time that gave me, it's a price I'm wiling to pay."

"The Wardens have so many secrets, though," she continues, almost as if she didn't hear him. "They might keep secrets from the lower ranks too. It does sound like something people in charge would say to make sure no one leaves before their time."

Felix doesn't respond right away. Instead, he looks at her with a slightly inquisitive expression on his face. Then, finally, he says, "I suppose that's possible." The idea that the higher ups kept things was almost certainly the case but that didn't mean they were hiding a cure for the Blight.

"What is this about Ellana?" he asks instead of voicing those thoughts.

The fact that he considers it a possibility helps a great deal. If he refused to believe it, then it would be a lot harder to convince him to try looking.

"Don't you think that loyal Wardens should have the option to choose their fate after serving for years? If there might be a way to draw the Blight back out, then the Wardens would know, wouldn't they? You can all sense darkspawn, right? You're connected to them. But all of you can live for years after joining while someone else who gets the Blight sickness deteriorates immediately. Look at Alistair. He's been a Warden for over a decade. There's some secret to prolonging your lives, so what other secrets could be uncovered?"

{ skyhold }

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