[Closed] This isn't even my final form

[justice_is_blond]

WHO: Anders and close CR
WHAT: Detlef makes his last appearance for some goodbyes in case, Anders gives some warnings, and basically he tries to prepare.
WHEN: Around this time, a little backdated for the ride, but generally 24th-ish
WHERE: Ride back from EDL and in Skyhold
NOTES: Anders.

[ooc: This is various starters for Detlef's end and Anders warning some friends and admitting things to another. If you'd like a starter, ping me at Nadat on plurk and I'll put one together!]

Comments

For ALAYRE

[justice_is_blond]

Knowing what he's going to do hasn't exactly made things easier, just more straightforward in some ways. Unfortunately, he has no clue how to approach the people he's come to like and has lied to. That Alayre is a Templar makes it all the more complicated. Anders can't tell him everything, or really much at all.

His life would be so much simpler if every Templar was a mage-murdering, heartless bastard, really.

"You're feeling well again?" At least he can operate under the guise of checking up on the man's health before departing.

[equanimiti]

The unannounced visit caught Alayre offguard but the mage isn't unwelcomed. "Detlef." He greeted the healer with a slight grin. While he's certainly feeling much better now, Alayre still looked quite fatigued. He placed himself in a rather precarious position as of late by unjustly accusing the Inquisition of "ungodliness". So imagine the stress.

"Much better thanks to you." He said with a smile. "What brings you here? Thought I ran off to find more trouble?" Alayre wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. He's been sticking to the camp as of late after getting yanked off the battlefield. Alayre needed time to settle "greviances" before doing anything else. He made one too many enemies as of late, some within the Order itself.

"What's a matter?" Alayre's expression changed a bit. "You seem...unhappy."

[justice_is_blond]

"Mm. Preoccupied, a little." Very unhappy, actually, but the times he's been happy in his life are very few and far in between. "I'm heading back to Skyhold shortly and wanted to make some rounds before we left."

He shrugs and takes a seat, trying to make it seem like he's not heading in to what may be the end.

"Some personal matters need to be addressed and I'm not looking forward to them. But I'm not here to talk about that." Because 'hi, I'm the mage probably most wanted by the Templars' probably wouldn't go over well.

"I am here to make sure you didn't get crushed again, yes." Anders manages a small smile. He can do this, at least. "There's been a lot going on and you don't exactly strike me as the most... how shall I put it? Prudent, perhaps, on the field. Cautious. That sort of thing."

[equanimiti]

Alayre's smile returned. "Ah, so you are making sure I stay put." He chuckles quietly. While the concern is somewhat comforting, Alayre doesn't know how to feel about it. He's a Templar. Dangerous situations were bound to come his way.

"Are you claiming I'm a tad reckless?" He asked curiously with both brows arched high. "Perish the thought! I'm actually quite cautious." Alayre claimed with a slight grin that spoke otherwise.

"Still, I suppose there's some truth to that." Alayre's expression changed a bit. He seems more thoughtful now.

[justice_is_blond]

The smile reaches his eyes, despite how small it still is.

"All I'm saying is that if matters... keep me away for a time, I'd like to know that one Templar is still out there who doesn't believe we need to be forced back into a cage." It worries him. If he's leaving this fight, who will carry on? Certainly he knows he's not alone, but both Anders and Justice want to know the future will be better and brighter for mages.

"You're more than simply what you can do for my people. I don't mean to imply otherwise. But I'd find some comfort in knowing you're looking just a little more before you leap."

[equanimiti]

"If matters keep me away--" That part won a look of worry from Alayre. "I understand." He replied with a frown.

"There's...so much I dream of changing, Detlef. I doubt I have much left in my years but I want to help this world find a better path." The Templar let's out a deep sigh. "I swear an oath to you, friend. I won't die until I set something in motion. Even if I'm branded as some sort of heretic." That very much may happen if he continued down this road. Alayre is aware of it.

"But you worry me." He's still all frowns. "Are you going somewhere? I had thought your mission abroad ended."

[justice_is_blond]

Friend. That hurts. It hurts so much, because he's lied so much to Alayre. What will the fallout be when the Templar knows who he is? Will it be simply another blow, or will it do more damage? He wishes he could admit everything to Alayre, but he can't. He can't.

Anders takes a breath and the smile fades. "I'm going to speak with someone about... things in my past. You asked while I was healing you if I was repaying a debt, and I am, but it's not to you alone. This is the next step."

It may be the last step. But he can't outright say that, and he can't show the fear that comes from working to accept what may come. "But don't worry. I'm tired, nothing more."

[equanimiti]

That answer will have to do. Alayre saw no reason to press Detlef any further. Even if something was egging him to do just that. "I had almost forgotten that." The Templar admitted with a tense sigh once he remembered the sheering pain. Alayre honestly thought he was going to die out there in the snow. He really thought the Maker was going to take him back that day but somehow, he lived.

If it hadn't been for Detlef, he really would've died out there. This is something Alayre knows well.

"Whatever debt you need paid, don't hesitate to seek me if you need help." Alayre said with a faint smile. "I owe you one." A chuckle passed through him but it quickly faded. "You look like you truly need to rest." He glanced briefly at a pile of blankets he kept to stave off the cold.

"Help yourself and rest."

[justice_is_blond]

He closes his eyes for just a moment as he's hit by a wave of emotion. A Templar offering him a place to rest, with no fear, no chance of chains or blade, is unthinkable, but here Alayre is, treating him like he's a person. And Anders is going to disappoint him.

"I..." He doesn't deserve the offer, but a nap would be so very nice. Just a short one, before he goes and finds Adelaide and has what's likely to be an even more painful conversation. It feels a great deal like taking advantage of the man, though. Alayre doesn't know who or what he is.

"I would like little more," Anders finally says, "but I don't want to impose. I've been doing a great deal of imposing of late."

[equanimiti]

Alayre furrowed his brows at that. "You impose upon no one." He said sternly. "How dare you come here demanding for me to show caution but do yourself a great injustice." The Templar let's out a sigh as he stood. He inched over to Detlef and patted his shoulder gently. His touch was light, barely a tap. It's like a faint brush much similar to a summer breeze.

"I'll make some tea for you at least." Alayre said quietly. "Maybe something warm would help you." He turned away to fetch the kettle.

"I think the bitter cold has us all beside ourselves."

[justice_is_blond]

He huffs, something between laugh and exhale, but there's little amusement to be found in his eyes. Alayre is going to regret this later, and then what happens to the mages he meets in the future? Will they too be invited back for some sort of sanctuary in Skyhold? Or will Alayre instead turn cold? Many of the ripple effects of Anders' presence will not be pleasant, and for that Anders is truly sorry.

After the tap Anders gets up and starts burrowing his way into the pile of blankets. A little warmth, a short nap. Nothing can fully prepare him for what's to come, but this will help.

"I was made for warm climates. Sun, desert, dry winds." He'll likely never see the Anderfels again. Considering all he's done, he doesn't deserve to. "Tea and a little rest won't change the cold, but it will make it more bearable."